by Braya Spice
“So? Everybody wants something.”
What in the hell was this? We had had a night of sex, and he was tripping. I was smart enough to know that only one thing could come from a one-night stand. From that point forward it would be only about sex. He had already sucked me and stuck his dick in my birth canal, so at this point he couldn’t possibly want to hear about my dreams or aspirations, my likes or dislikes. I had sought only a night of pleasure, wanting to drown myself in someone. So at this point James and I had nothing further to discuss.
“Why won’t you give me a chance?”
“I’m not giving you a chance for shit.”
“It will be the best choice you could ever make, Allure.”
“Why?”
“I just know it will.”
“Whatever, James. The other night I was just lonely. And we were both after something. I needed sex and gave sex to get it, and you wanted sex, so you gave sex to get it. Fair trade.”
“So you used me?” He sounded really offended. Then I remember he was the same man who had said boldly that he wanted eat my pussy and fuck me. And he did it all just right. Now, why was he tripping? He should be happy I wasn’t calling or stalking him.
I took a deep breath and said, “We used each other.”
“I don’t want to use you, Allure. I want to be with you. Let me get you tonight.”
“Nope.” Who was he fooling? I thought. He didn’t know shit about me. So how could he possibly want to be with me? Men killed me softly.
“Baby, don’t make me beg.”
“No, I don’t want nothing else to do with you. We ... we just fucked. That’s it. A one-nighter. We were each other’s jump-off.” I was impressing myself with the lingo I was throwing at this man.
“You don’t mean all of that.”
“Why don’t I?”
“Because underneath all that hardness you putting up is a loving woman. You can pretend all you want that you’re not, but you are, and I’m sorry to say this, but any man can see that. The way you put it on me was different. You weren’t fucking me. You were making love to me. Looking into my eyes and shit. Clenching your shit on me like you done fucked me before. And that voice! When you yelled out, it gave me goose bumps, because you sounded so sweet. And your shit was supertight, so I know you don’t sleep around. I was some type of rebound. You had your heart on your sleeve. And as much as you talk all that other shit, I see through it, and you can’t do anything about that. If I see it in one night, other men sure as hell see it. And you know niggas are vultures. Let me save you from the drag and the bull they gonna send you through.”
My lips trembled, because what he’d said was fucking true, unfortunately.
“So what you’re saying is that I’ll have a lifetime of pain and heartache, huh? ’Cause men will prey on my weak-ass heart?”
“They won’t appreciate the type of woman you are. They’ll prey on your sweetness and your vulnerabilities. But I won’t. I’d love to be with a woman like you. Sweet, innocent, without the games, and most importantly, you won’t cheat. You seem too damn loyal.”
He was right. All of the above. But was I gonna let him know this? Hell to the no.
“You expect me to believe that shit? That you’re different from the others? Please.”
“I am, baby. Let me show you.”
I took a deep breath and said, “You have a nice life.” Then I hung up in his face. I should have never given his ass my number!
Then I focused my attention on my child as she rode around the courtyard on her jeep. I got up and started chasing her. My thoughts were still wrapped around what he had said. I had no game, and I was a softy all the way when it came to men. I needed to harden myself up, or every man I encountered would eat me alive.
Roses were nice. They were even nicer when they arrived five days a week at my job. Each bouquet had a gift card in it, for such places as John’s Incredible Pizza, Disneyland, Bath & Body Works, and Chili’s. This was James’s way of courting me. He had done all of this for me. I wished he’d go a little further and traded in my little bucket, which was gonna give out any day now, for a new ride. But that was pushing it a little too far. He did all these things without me even so much as spotting him.
At the start of each day he would text me, saying Good morning. He would also text me poems from poets like Jack Gilbert, Octavio Paz, and Pablo Neruda. They were super-romantic poems. He was wooing me. And truth be told, I enjoyed it. I’d never been spoiled like that before. It made me want to reconsider seeing him. On Friday, with the last bouquet of flowers, I was shocked as hell to find concert tickets. I didn’t care who they were for. I just thought it was sweet as hell that he had sent them, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were to a Trey Songz concert. Who didn’t love Trey Songz?
So I asked Creole to do her godmother duties and watch Sierra, and I went to see him with my sister. We backed it up to all them songs, having a ball. My sister was dressed in a pair of leggings, stilettos, and a slinky top, and I wore a wraparound dress and some boots, which I tossed off as soon as the music came on and I ran to the stage.
It was at the concert that James finally made an appearance. When the concert was over, I waited for my sister outside the restroom. My cell phone started ringing. I recognized James’s number. I smiled and answered. After all the trouble he had gone to, I felt I should.
“I see you,” he said.
I laughed and looked around. “Yeah.” But I doubted he was there. “What am I wearing, then?”
“A cute little black wraparound dress and a pair of boots. You looking sexy as hell too.”
I blushed. He was there.
“What am I doing, then?”
“Standing by the restroom. Now it’s your turn to chase after me.”
My sister came out of the restroom and walked over to me. “That was a good-ass concert. I just want to lick Trey Songz.”
I beckoned my sister to me and pressed a finger to my lips. Her eyes narrowed, but she nodded.
“Walk,” James said.
“Which way?”
“Straight ahead.”
I did. My sister followed behind me.
“Now turn right.”
I did. And I scanned the crowd for him and saw nothing.
“Are you playing games with me?” I asked him, but I was still thinking it was cute.
“Yep.”
I laughed.
“Keep going, baby. Hang a left at the corner.”
I did and still didn’t find his ass.
I could hear his laughter through the phone. “Guess I’m not gonna make this any easier than you made it for me, huh, Allure?”
I huffed out an impatient breath. “Bye!” I hung up my cell phone.
“Girl, who is that fool who is playing?” Crystal asked.
“James,” I said, smiling the whole while.
I followed my sister out to the parking lot, to her truck. My smile turned into a laugh because as soon as we stepped outside, I saw him leaning against a black Mercedes-Benz truck, looking fine as hell.
At that moment I ceased worrying about him hurting me, about my past, and about the risk of giving this man too much of myself. I ceased comparing him to my two past relationships. I smiled graciously and stepped into James’s outstretched arms and let him hold me tight. I was willing to take a chance on him, hoping that it worked out and there would be no drama.
Chapter 13
Six months of bliss, that was what James had given me already, and it hadn’t come a moment too soon. I was investing my time wisely between him and my daughter. I was still against James meeting Sierra. I wouldn’t introduce them until I was sure this was going to be stable relationship. Maybe a couple more months would show me that.
Greg had come around and had broken up with that crazy heifer who I’d beaten up, and Sierra was back to going to her dad’s on the weekend. James and I were inseparable. He would take me out to the movies, dinner, plays. Anywh
ere my heart desired. James was a brainiac, and he would help me with my homework as well. Since it was summertime—I went to school the entire year—my classes were shorter and therefore more intensive. I was spending so much time with James that when he went out of town to Louisiana for his aunt’s funeral for two weeks, I felt so empty. He had invited me to go, but I had finals to do and felt funny being thousands of miles away from Sierra. Naw. I wasn’t leaving my baby. Still, to be invited was really a compliment.
James had said he wanted me to meet his mother and father, who lived out there. James had moved out here for college when he was only eighteen, had fallen in love with California, and had never looked back, except for when he went to visit his family. His older brother lived out here as well, and they shared a house in Baldwin Hills together. His brother worked as a physician’s assistant. He said his family was pretty wealthy. His mother was a retired therapist, and his father owned several properties all around Louisiana.
The day he came back from his trip, he called me. I was on the couch with my sister and Sierra when my phone rang.
“Phone, Mama.” I gave Sierra my tongue; she giggled and gave it back.
I snatched up the phone and said, “Hello.”
“Hey, baby. I’ll be arriving at your house shortly.”
“Who is this?”
“Who do you think this is?”
It was James. But I played it off like I didn’t know, because I didn’t want to sound anxious. Even though I was.
“I thought you were still in Louisiana. I just talked to you—”
“You talked to me while I was at the airport.”
“Oh.” I felt a little silly. “Did you bring me anything?”
“Yeah, baby.”
I got all excited. “What?”
“Me.”
“Oh, whatever.”
“Don’t you want to see me, baby?”
I dashed into the bathroom to make sure I looked okay in my tight-fitting chocolate and pink dress, and sprayed on some perfume. Sierra trailed behind me.
“No,” I finally said.
He groaned, “Baby, you so mean to me. When you know damn well you miss me as much as your man misses you.”
Sierra tugged on the bottom of my dress and stretched out her little neck.
I chuckled. “Oh, you want some?”
“Hell yeah,” he said.
“Not you.”
“Oops, sorry.”
I shook my head while spraying a little perfume on Sierra’s neck.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome.”
She ran back into the living room.
“Allure.”
“Yes, nasty?”
He laughed. “Come outside, baby. I know you don’t want me around Sierra, but let me at least get a hug and a kiss.”
“’Kay.”
Damn, that was definitely fast. I hung up the phone, gave myself one last glance in the bathroom mirror, and walked into the living room.
“Crystal.”
“What?”
“Keep an eye on Sierra for me, will you?”
“Where the hell you going?”
“Nowhere. James is outside.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Okay.” A few seconds later I heard her yell, “Hot ass.”
Just as I made it to the gate, I saw him get out of his car. But I pretended I didn’t and opened the gate. Before I could close it, my slipper snagged on the bottom of the gate door.
“Damn.” I had just bent over to unhook my slipper and pull it back on when I was grabbed from behind. I squealed.
“Miss me?” James whispered in my right ear. He kissed me on my neck, and that alone caused sensations within me.
“A little bit,” I answered.
His teeth tugged at my earlobe, and his arm curled around my waist. “Just a little?”
I didn’t answer, just turned around in his arms.
“Well, I missed you a whole lot.”
I felt his little friend, hard and lumpy, against me. “I can see,” I said.
He tried to kiss me on the lips, but I wouldn’t let him. He gave me a funny look.
“Don’t tease me, Allure.”
From the corner of my eye I spied my sister peeking at me from my kitchen window. Nosy ass, I thought. Then James started kissing me. I returned the kiss, entwining my arms around his neck. My breath met his, and his met mine, and for that moment not much mattered. I was getting the stimulation—the affection—that at times I seemed to need more than food. When I pulled away for air, he grabbed my face again, tugging with his teeth on my bottom lip and laving my upper lip with his tongue. I was getting wet, so I stopped him.
“You missed me a whole lot more than you care to admit, Allure.”
I said nothing for a moment, just crossed my arms, trying to fight the cold air, which had caused goose bumps to form on my arms and legs. “How was your trip?” I finally asked.
“It was for a funeral, so a little somber.”
“I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s cool.” He traced the outline of my neck with his fingers. When he moved his hand away, it was shiny from the perfume that I had sprayed on. He pulled me closer and whispered, “You smell good, baby.”
“Thank you.” I held his gaze, feeling a little fearful, because I was starting to like James more than I wanted to. He was supposed to be the rebound guy, but I had caught some serious feelings for him, feelings that were a lot like those a woman experienced when she was in love.
“You know I missed you and my pussy when I was out there, right?”
I felt a jolt in my coochie at his dirty talk.
“You want to see what I got you?”
My eyes lit up. “You really did buy me something?”
“Come and see.”
I jumped up and down and then pulled him by his hands to his car. He laughed and jogged to keep up with me. I sat down in the car next to him, a little eager, too eager for my own damn good, so I silently told myself to cool it. But James had spoiled me so much. I felt special. He pulled out a medium-sized box from the backseat and handed it to me. Inside were some pink thong panties and a sexy lacy pink bra.
I frowned at him. “What do you expect me to do with these?”
“Wear them for me. Show me that sexy body of yours.” He kissed my lips.
I looked down at the bra and panties again. I had to admit they were pretty, but, shit, I didn’t wear thongs—they were uncomfortable when you had no butt cheeks.
“Thank you,” I said and reached over to hug him. I was just about to release him when I saw the lights of another car. It pulled up behind us. I couldn’t make out who it was, because the beams blinded me for a second. Once the headlights were turned off, I nearly jumped out of my seat. It was Greg!
“What’s the matter?” James asked.
I ignored him and sat frozen, watching Greg’s next move. I guess he didn’t see us in the car, because he got out and headed straight toward my apartment. I had not told James about this part of the equation: my crazy-ass baby’s father. And if Greg acted out, I wouldn’t need to tell him. He would see it for himself.
“That’s my baby’s father. James, wait here, okay?”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want any trouble, and he likes to trip.”
“Okay.”
I looked at him funny, almost expecting him to shake the spot, or argue with me even, but he didn’t.
I got out of the car and walked to my building. I opened the gate and walked inside to my apartment.
I stood in the doorway, livid that Greg had once again popped up at my house without permission.
My sister shot him a dirty look from the couch, then pretended she didn’t see him and even ignored him when he asked, “Where Allure?”
He didn’t so much as glance at the couch, where Sierra was dozing. And that should have been the only person he was concerned with. I didn’t get it. Every time
things were going good for me with a man, he showed up. First with Lavante at CPK, and now with James. I hoped Greg’s crazy ass didn’t scare James away.
“Oh, you don’t hear me, Crystal?”
She continued to ignore him.
“Am I fucking invisible?”
I took a deep breath before stepping inside. “What have I told you about popping up at my house, Greg?”
He spun round. “What?”
“Damn it! You fucking heard me! I told you not to pop up at my house unannounced!”
He looked at me like I was crazy. From the corner of my eye I saw Crystal carry Sierra into the bedroom. Thank God.
“Oh, I guess you got balls because your sister’s here, and you think you can talk shit to me.”
“Get the fuck out until you learn to respect my home and my goddamn wishes.”
His eyes locked with mine, and he gave me one of his “bitch, I’ll kill you” looks. Acting braver than I felt, I held his glare for a good five seconds before he spoke again.
“What? You got a nigga hiding here or something?”
“You’ve had a woman. Why the fuck do you care?”
My sister came back into the living room and stood a few feet away from me.
“She ain’t shit. She was just a fill-in until you come to your senses and let me come back. I mean, you my baby mama. What the fuck? Did you think I was letting you go?” He locked eyes with me when he said this. He was serious, and with his look he dared me to challenge what he had said. I was so sick of his shit.
I spread my arms wide and said loudly, “We are not together, nor are we getting back together!”
“Here you go with this bullshit. I came to give you some money, but since you want to be stupid, never mind. I’m not giving you shit.” He shoved me out of the way and walked out the door.
Chapter 14
I followed behind him as he walked outside. It wasn’t until he reached the porch that he saw James sitting in his car. I closed my eyes briefly, because I knew what was about to happen. God, I thought, why didn’t I tell James to leave?
“Greg!”
He ignored me, went to the car, and bent his head into the window. I couldn’t hear what was being said, so I ran over to him and shouted, “Greg, go home!”