by Nancy Radke
Paca finished, so he took the bucket away, carried it back inside, turned out the light and closed the door.
“You remind me of your Grandma, you know,” he said as he rejoined Jo. “A real beauty. She made life worth living.” He sighed heavily, looking across the road to the mountain ridge that rose beyond the house, its hazy outline dark against the moonlit sky.
Jo knew he was visualizing the woman who had been more than life to him. With the same red-gold hair and tilted nose as her grandmother, Jo was a living memory, a constant reminder of his Anna. That was one of the reasons her parents had urged her to go so far away to school. She hadn’t wanted to, but with the scholarship offer, the college in Virginia couldn’t be turned down. By adding summer quarters to credits earned in high school, she had finished five years of college in four—a long time away from home.
Time should have done its healing job, but evidently it hadn’t. Her memory of Adam certainly hadn’t dimmed. If anything, her reactions toward him had magnified in intensity, like a tornado that suddenly springs in front of a storm. Maturity had made his forceful personality stronger and increased his physical appeal.
“You look so much like her, Joanna,” Gramps declared, bringing her thoughts back to him. “You even walk like she did.”
Jo gave him another affectionate hug. “And I missed you too, Grampa. How about walking to the corral with me?” She linked her arm with the old man and adapted her stride to his. She owed so much to her grandfather, who had spent countless hours with her, teaching her how to ride and later to drive. He’d always taken time to do the little things a child needed done, to answer her questions, to dry her tears.
As they rounded the barn, Jo automatically looked north towards the light pinpointing Adam’s new home. According to Karen’s texts, Gramps had complained about the “blight” on the neighboring ridge ever since the house was finished last year.
The new location gave the Traherns a better view, but it irritated Gramps because there used to be no houses in sight. Young Ponderosa pines planted around it reduced its impact, and only one light was plainly visible. Jo, hesitated, then mentioned that the trees almost concealed things.
“Uh huh. Thought he could hide from me. He’s not so smart. For all his years in college, he doesn’t know those trees’ll get taller...just be bare trunks soon, all the foliage too high to hide behind.” The old man swung his head toward the offending view, body held fiercely erect.
“What do you mean?” asked Jo puzzled. Why would Adam try to hide from her grandfather? What strange notion brought the old man to that conclusion?
“He can’t be trusted. Always spying on us from up there, behind his trees.” He frowned, then lifted up shaggy white eyebrows, nodding shrewdly.
Was her grandfather’s feud with Adam making him paranoid? “This is the first time I’ve heard of any spying. What makes you think—”
“Nothing...nothing at all.”
Unable to hold back a question she’d been wondering about ever since Adam had posed it, she asked, “Gramps, why do you blame Adam—and his family—for what Mr. Trahern did?”
“What? Don’t you remember? They didn’t stop him. They did nothing to keep him from getting behind the wheel.” His breathing deepened and his movements became agitated, alarming Jo. “They knew he couldn’t handle alcohol.”
“But why single out Adam...especially? He was only seventeen.”
“You don’t understand. No one understands,” he declared, his voice rising in volume, his frame shaking in anger. “He could’ve taken the keys away. He was just a teenager, but he was big and strong.”
Jo nodded, remembering. Gramps was right. They shouldn’t have let him drive. His family was as responsible as Ed Trahern for Grandmother Anna’s death. Maybe even more...for their judgment wouldn’t have been impaired by the alcohol. “You’re right,” she declared. “Adam should have done something. Anything.”
“And then the police messed up the investigation, so it never went to court. Said if she hadn’t been driving that little car I’d bought her, she might have lived.”
He began to wheeze, trying to get a breath, the noise loud and alarming.
“I understand, Grampa,” Jo said, frightened by his breathing pattern. It sounded worse than before she’d left for college. He really must be urged to follow the doctor’s orders. It was a good thing she’d come home.
“Yes. You do. You always have. My Joanna.” He spoke her name with deep affection and it seemed to calm him. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then did it again.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” He looked closely at her. “Will you do me a favor?”
“Of course.”
“By the way, when I was playing checkers at Marv’s place, he asked about you. His nephew, Peter Johnson, is staying with him. We thought you two should get together. I said I’d ask.”
“Uh...I don’t know,” she said, stomping down her first reaction to say, “No.” Gramps had always pushed her towards anyone who wasn’t Adam. He had done it all during her high school years. “What’s he like?”
“He’s twenty-three, a good-looking chap. Marv thinks a lot of him.”
Marv was as conniving as her grandfather. The two were always planning other people’s lives. Well, she could play that game, also. “Let’s make a deal. You take your medicine and I’ll go out with Peter.” Right now, she didn’t want to go out with anyone, but a date wouldn’t hurt her.
“Saturday night?” he asked.
That soon? “Sure. Why not?”
“That’s my girl,” he beamed, proud of her as always. Jo basked in his praise, happy to make him happy.
He pointed to the garden. “Peas are ready to pick.”
“Oh...good,” she said, used to her grandfather’s abrupt subject changes once he got what he wanted. Immediately putting Peter out of her mind, she took a deep breath of the sparkling air, sweet-scented with the aroma of fresh cut alfalfa. “Mmmm...best perfume made doesn’t smell as good as that. It’s great to be home. I missed Oregon.”
“It’s good to have you here.”
Arching her back, she stretched, hands out-flung in relief. “Seems like I’ve been imprisoned for years. The worst thing about town is you can’t see further than the next door neighbor. I’ve missed our endless views and long sunsets more than anything else.” And I missed riding to my favorite lookout point...and maybe seeing Adam.
“I know,” Gramps agreed, his wrinkled face breaking into an understanding smile. “Cabin fever.”
“I hope I can tolerate working in town when I get a job.”
“Marry a rancher.”
Instantly she pictured Adam as she had last seen him, his handsome face lit with a smile. That could never be. With a pang of regret, she fought to clear the image and finally succeeded. “You’re supposed to pick the man, not the occupation, Gramps,” she admonished dryly.
“Go for both.” He chuckled at her expression, making Jo glad he did not realize what had caused it.
They released Paca in the grassy pasture and walked back to the old two-storied wood-frame house. The only light on was in Karen’s room, and Jo grabbed a glass of milk and a slice of bread to eat before climbing up the stairs. Her watch showed it was ten past eleven.
“I’m home, Dad,” she called as she reached the top and heard his relieved reply. Now he could sleep.
Twenty minutes later, showered, wrapped in her housecoat, and holding a bottle of antiseptic, she entered her nineteen-year-old sister’s room. She needed help reaching the scratches on her back.
From the catwalk-like porch outside his bedroom, Adam watched the lights go on in Jo’s room. He sighed with relief, knowing she was safely home, then turned to look out over the broad valley, past the trees tipped with silver moonlight. The moon beams highlighted everything they touched, leaving dark shadows elsewhere.
He could see most of the Grande Rounde valley from his ranch, including the Davie
s’ place. It enabled him to keep track of Jo. A lot of good that did him.
He felt lonely up here, very lonely. He wondered if his brother and mother realized how terribly lonely he was. He had shouldered the weight of their ranch after his father’s death, struggling to keep it going, investing in stocks and bonds whenever he could to build a cushion for the future. It had paid off monetarily for him, but that did nothing to ease the loneliness.
He could imagine Jo’s grandfather down there in the dark, staring malevolently up at him. Gramps would do anything to keep Jo away from him. Say anything.
Adam shook his head in despair. By now she carried around so much misinformation, it would take a miracle to reach her.
Picking up a pair of strong field glasses, Adam scanned the roads, following a set pattern so as to not miss any. He did not linger upon the two cars parked along an open stretch. He was checking on vans and trucks or any suspicious vehicles. The bright moon made his job easy tonight.
All seemed in order. His sweep crossed the Davies’ home and he set the glasses down again, thinking of Jo’s lips against his—for such a brief moment. She had gone away to college a girl and come back a woman. More importantly, she was speaking to him again.
He remembered the toss of her head when she said, “I don’t belong to you.” Well, she might not at the moment, but he was sure going to try to change that.
Using his toe, Adam unfolded a camp chair and positioned it closer to the railing. He picked up the flat bone he kept on the windowsill, sat down in the chair, pulled off his boots and began to stroke them with the bone—a trick his great grandfather had learned from a former cavalry officer. It kept the leather’s surface hard and smooth—and gave him an excuse to sit outside in the dark, enjoying the stars.
Adam stroked harder. It was time to shake that old man out of his bitterness. He wasn’t sure how to do it, but he knew it had to be done to give Johnny a chance.
Johnny with his big plans. He depended upon Adam. Jo’s coming back might be the catalyst needed to reach her grandfather. Now that she was older perhaps they would be able to get her to see how unfair the old man was. Her loyalty to her grandfather was blind. Adam would like that kind of loyalty for himself, as it tended to overlook faults—and he had them as well as the next man.
He remembered their kiss—or the slight meeting of lips that Jo considered a kiss. He didn’t, but it was a beginning—first to talk, then getting her to offer to kiss him. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
When he wanted something he went after it with a single-minded determination. It had pushed him through school and earned his degree, brought this farm up to par...and all for what? He looked around, realizing he’d planned this part of the house for Jo when he had built his new home two years ago. It was furnished with her favorite colors, things Mike had told him about her. Inadvertently, he hoped. He didn’t want Mike to know he was pursuing his sister.
Older than Adam, Mike would tell him it was hopeless, and try to get him to back off. Adam put down his boots and picked up his favorite bridle and started working the bone across the wide brow band. Stroke by stroke, he worked the leather while reality took over. Did he really want to put himself through all the grief of trying to outsmart that old man? The possibility of ever marrying Jo seemed remote.
Jo entered Karen’s bedroom and found her sister sitting on the edge of her bed, bare feet swinging, clothed in a summer-weight nightshirt. Karen jumped up to hug her, then stopped to stare at the scratches. “What happened?”
As Jo explained, Karen’s mouth dropped in astonishment. “You went to Adam’s place?”
“I had to. Don’t tell anyone.”
“Of course not. Did you see Johnny?”
“No. I didn’t go inside.”
“Do you need any help with the bandages?”
“Would you? I couldn’t reach all the spots.”
“Sure.” She reached over and switched off the TV.
“Would you rather wait until that show’s over?” Jo asked.
“No. That’s okay.” Karen took the bottle of antiseptic from Jo and started to splash it liberally over the long scratch on her back. “You didn’t wait very long to get into trouble again, did you?”
It was almost what Adam had said, and Jo grinned wryly. “Never let it be said that I waste any time. Ouch!”
“Sorry. That’s deep right there. You’re lucky the wire didn’t scratch your face, Jo.”
“Yes. Just a few spots, but Gramps saw them anyway. His eyes are as sharp as ever.”
“You’re right. Not much gets by him.”
“It’s good to be home. I missed Oregon.”
“Hold this end of the tape while I cut it. There. Finished.” Karen put the first aid supplies on the dresser and wiped her hands on Jo’s towel. She smiled at her older sister. “It’s great having you back. I could hardly wait. Texting just isn’t the same. There were things I wanted to ask you....” Her expression turned serious. “Get your help.”
Jo sighed, looking around the familiar room they had shared as children. Clothes covered most of the floor, desk and chair, a guitar stood in one corner beside rows of stuffed animals. “Adam knows. Who else?”
“Johnny’s mom and grandparents. They’ve known all along. And Mike. Adam’s been a big help.”
Adam again. Jo couldn’t shake him from her thoughts and Karen didn’t help. Had Adam urged the two on, just to get back at her grandfather? She wouldn’t put it past him. “How can you do this when I’ve worked so hard to get Gramps over his grief.” Including my staying away from Adam. “Throwing Johnny in his face will stir everything up again. You might even cause another heart attack.”
“I know that. Otherwise we’d elope. That’s why you’ve got to help.”
Jo’s heart reached out to her younger sister and she bit her lower lip, perplexed. What a dilemma. Karen, sensitive to the birthmark, had missed out on so many things. It would be tragic if she couldn’t date Johnny openly, to find out if it was really love, or just the excitement of a secret romance. But they mustn’t hurt their grandfather. The old man had already had the cruelest blow life could give him. “I don’t know. I don’t see as how I can.”
“You’ll have to tell Gramps somehow. You can talk Gramps into anything. Remember how he wanted you to go to college here in Oregon and you talked him into the one in Virginia?”
“Yes, but—”
“Well, now he wants me to go to college, too. To Virginia. Really, Jo, he was going on about it all last week.”
“Well, you know how that is. It’s always harder for the first child to break away. Once its done, folks get used to the idea. It’s easier for the next one who tries it.”
“But that’s not fair.”
“No. But that’s the way things are.”
“There has to be some way we can tell him.”
“Maybe.” Jo shook her head. How could she help Karen when —confronted by an identical situation when Adam tried to date her in high school—she hadn’t been able to help herself? She and Adam had the same barrier between them. The accident, and Gramps. “I don’t know if I can. I’ll try to figure something out. But I don’t know what it’ll be. Why on earth did you have to fall for Johnny?”
Karen hugged her gently. “‘Cause he’s super, that’s why. ‘Night, Jo.”
Was he as ‘super’ as Adam? If so, then Jo easily understood her sister’s feelings. “Good night,” she replied.
Moving sleepily into her own bedroom, she hauled back the patchwork quilt her great-grandmother had made, folded it very carefully and laid it on the sheepskin rug to put away later.
Throwing open her window Jo looked up at Adam’s house. Karen and Johnny. What to do? Johnny sounded like a cheerful, optimistic young man, much more approachable than Adam—an extrovert, while Adam had been tempered by heavy responsibility.
Jo liked the sound of Johnny. He and her quiet sister might go well together. Everything would be great for th
e two except...he was a Trahern.
“Guess what?” Karen edged into the room, her face wary.
“What?” Jo took off her robe and opened the closet door.
“Well...I, uh.... Are you going with anyone right now?”
“No, not at the moment.”
“Then I’ve got it! I’ve figured out a way to get an okay from Grampa!” She smiled hopefully at her puzzled sister.
Jo paused in the process of reaching for a hanger. “You have? I couldn’t think of anything.”
“Yes, you did. It was your idea in the first place. I mentioned it to Johnny on the phone just now. Adam was in the room. We ended up with a three-way conversation.”
Jo pulled on her nightshirt. “What are you talking about? I haven’t had any ideas.”
“Sure you did,” said Karen, handing her a ham sandwich on a plate. “Here. I made it after I talked to Johnny.”
“Thanks.” Jo took a bite. “What idea? If it’s so great, why are you acting like you’re trying to sell feathers to a fish?”
“Adam’s already agreed to our plan.”
“What plan? Karen, so help me...!”
“Simple. You said it was easier for the younger kids in a family to do something if the older ones did it first.”
“Yes, but—”
Karen rubbed nervously at her cheek. “Don’t you see? You and Adam get engaged first. Then Johnny and I can announce ours.”
“What?” Jo choked on her sandwich as she realized how wonderful, how terrifying, that sounded. Engaged? To Adam! Even though the idea made her heart leap, she knew it would be a disaster. Feelings of disloyalty vied with a sudden desire to agree. The temptation was sharp, enticing her to grasp the opportunity with all her strength. Resistance made her answer curt. “No! I can’t do that!”
“But...but Adam said he’d do it,” Karen protested in a bewildered voice, surprised by the violence of Jo’s response.