by Vicki Keener
“Not going to happen when it happens.”
“You're grouchy today. She's turning you down, playing hard to get.”
“Mona, did you have a specific reason for calling or are you trying to live vicariously through me when there's nothing to tell?”
“Yep, you're grouchy. Better call one of your old standbys to get you over the hump.”
“Mona, get serious for a minute. I want to invite Angelica for the family get together Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. What will Mom and Dad think and since you have twin beds in your room, can she bunk with you?”
“Mom and Dad will be delighted and since you're not intimate with her yet, she's welcome to stay in my room. You do realize that since you became an adult you never tell our parents about the women you date and you sure as hell never took one home. It's going to cause speculation.”
“Yes, I'm aware.”
“She'll be pummeled with questions, interrogated. It is what they do as attorneys.”
“Yes. She can handle them. I'll give her fair warning.”
“This is going to be the best Christmas yet. I wouldn't miss this for the world. God, I hope I don't come down with appendicitis that calls for emergency surgery and I miss the fun.”
“You had your appendix removed when you were seventeen.”
“Details. Unimportant details. I have a whole bunch of dirty jokes to tell her. It will be like a girl's sleepover.”
“That could change in the next week before Christmas and if it does she'll be in my bed.”
“Don't you sully that wonderful woman, Cray.”
“Sully? Who uses that word? You never met her, you can't yet judge if she's a wonderful woman.”
“If you're in love with her, she's wonderful.”
“Where's my shovel? The shit is getting damn deep. Are we through talking?”
“No. What are your plans for today?”
“Angelica is taking me to a boring, stuffy faculty tea. Her words, not mine. I'm going because she asked and I want to be with her.”
“They wear tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and smoke pipes. How are you going to blend in with your tailor-made suits?”
“Yes, Angelica reminded me of that. I'll rummage in the back of my closet and find something.”
“Good luck with that.”
“May I go take a shower and start rummaging?”
“Sure, I'll call you later tonight?”
“Mona, you're my sister, not my nanny. Give it a break.”
“I'm so jealous of you. I want what you have.”
“Give a guy a chance and you might find him.”
“It's not that easy, Cray, when my mantra is: Variety is the spice of life. Bye, see ya tomorrow at work.”
Chapter 4
Cray rapped on Angelica's door exactly at one. She opened it and said, “Come in, Cray, I'm not quite ready.”
“I want your opinion. Will I fit in with this outfit?” He spread his arms so she could study him.
She propped her index finger against her lip and tapped, gazing at his brown trousers, his pale yellow open-necked dress shirt, the brown cashmere sweater over it and the sport's jacket in a subtle plaid that had brown, tan, cream and pale yellow. She said, “Very collegiate.”
She moved behind him, lifted the hem of his sport's coat and said, “Nice ass. I approve. The tailoring and fabric are way beyond the professor's pocket books, but they won't notice. It takes a discerning eye to see it. Where's your topcoat?”
“It's supposed to reach a high of fifty-four degrees today. I don't need it with these layers. Your hairdo is so severe. I love your hair down around your shoulders.”
“This is my professional look. It's supposed to send a message that I'm there to teach, not be seduced with puppy-dog eyes.”
He grinned and said, “Does that work?”
“Along with the posture and straight-laced attitude, like a charm.”
“You mean not one student tries to strip away the armor?”
“There have been a few who tried. Did you ever see a glacier? They're a cold blue-white color and that's what my eyes become when they get out of hand.”
“You don't give me that look. Your eyes sparkle when you're pleased and twinkle when you're up to something devilish. They're never cold and stand-offish with me.”
She said in a soft voice, “That's because I'm falling for you, Cray. Excuse me while I grab my suit jacket and purse.”
On the way down in the elevator, Cray said, “There's a cab waiting. I thought it might be a bit ostentatious to arrive in a limo.”
“Thank you, Cray. That didn't occur to me, but you're right. Cray, I don't want us to be overt while we're there.”
“Overt as in holding hands or being too demonstrative?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“I'll follow your lead, honey.”
“Please don't call me honey while we're there.”
“Other times it's okay?”
“I like your endearments.”
He reached across the divide between them and put his hand on top of her knee. “I want so badly to kiss you right now. I won't do it because it will ruin your lipstick and we'll both get flustered, but once we leave I can't promise to keep my distance.”
“I do experience spontaneous combustion when you touch me. That's not my normal reaction, Cray. Why do you think that is?”
“Chemical attraction, pheromones, a magnetic field, all of the above? I don't plan to fight it whatever it is.”
“I want to fight it, but I can't.”
“Honey, why do you want to fight it?”
“My interactions with men don't work out well. I told you some of it.”
“Angelica, I don't have a bet riding on getting you to bed and I sure as hell don't have a wife or a child hidden somewhere. I'm an adult as are you, I earn a good living, as do you, I'm well over the age of consent, as are you, I'm hoping to open the next chapter of my life, as I hope you are because it's you who made me want to open that chapter.”
“Do you want children someday?”
“It's not something I yearn for, Angelica, but if together my spouse and I decide to start a family that's fine with me. Those decisions need to be discussed and decided when the time is right and both parties get to express their feelings on the subject and either mutually agree or reach an agreeable compromise. This forcing the issue between a couple because one's stronger and more determined than the other is bullshit. It causes dissension and resentment and that's a perfect formula for failure down the road. Why did you ask me that?”
“I asked because I'm thirty-five, I'm reaching the dangerous time for giving birth and risking problems. Women are bearing children in their forties today. They delayed giving birth to achieve their career goals. That's okay for them, but it's not for me. You say you don't yearn for children, but you might someday. You'd be better off marrying a younger woman, so if you decide you want to be a father, you could.”
“Let's follow through on your scenario with a hypothetical. I choose a woman ten years younger than me so that makes her twenty-six. We decide to forgo having children because we enjoy the freedom to travel and come and go as we please. All of a sudden I'm forty-six and she's thirty-six and it occurs to her she'd like a child. Sure, I'm capable of impregnating her, but her eggs are aging. What the hell is the difference?”
“It wouldn't take her ten years to think she's missing bearing a child.”
“Nonsense, Angelica. I work with couples who are going through this right now and they're facing a dilemma. Should they get pregnant and risk it or should they remain childless? I don't tell them my solution because they don't want to hear it.”
“What's your solution?”
“Ado
ption. I can love a child, brown, black, yellow, red, I don't care if I decide I want to be a father. I've seen that done, too, and I defy someone to convince me that an adopted child isn't loved as much as a couple's biological child. Bottom line, Angel. I want to go the distance with you if we can make it work for us and I don't care how old you are.”
“You've given the subject some thought.”
“Yes, and I'll tell you why. I played the field for a lot of years, but it stayed in the back of my mind that if I found the right one, I'd give up the bachelor life in a New York minute. I always dated girls and then women who are my age or close. I want a woman who's my partner in every sense of the word. That means we can discuss the books, music, movies and current events of our time. We don't need to agree on everything, but at least I don't encounter a blank stare if I mention a book that came out before she could read.”
“We grew up in completely different cultures.”
“Angelica, Norway is not a third world country and you came here at the tender age of eighteen. That's seventeen years ago. Stop trying to find reasons why a romance between us won't work. Don't you want us to go the distance?”
“I want it so much it scares me.”
He reached across the seat and pulled her close. “Honey, let's stop over-thinking this, keep having fun together and get beyond this awkwardness that keeps raising its ugly head.”
“I met you Friday night for the first time and it's now Sunday afternoon. It's too fast.”
“Says who? We're not teenagers, trying to examine and understand every nuance of what the boy means and how the girl will respond. We're responsible adults. Let's act like it.”
“I seem to want to throw any coherent thoughts and responsibilities to the wind when we're together. I'm not a person I understand and I pride myself on understanding me and being comfortable in my skin.”
He laughed. “It's new to me, too. Come on, honey, take a chance, come fly with me. Ours could be the beginning of a love affair that survives the ages.”
“We sure have some interesting conversations in the backseat of a car.”
“Beats watching the driver inch through this horrendous traffic.”
As they walked up the sidewalk to knock on the college president's door where the tea was being held, Angelica took his hand. He grinned at her and she said, “If we're giving us a shot there's no sense in pretending otherwise.”
“That's my girl. Oh, by the way, I'm spending the night with you at my house or yours.”
“School's out for the holidays. We'll stay at your house.”
“A decisive woman, I love that.”
“Good afternoon, Angelica,” the college president said when he opened the door.
They stepped inside and she introduced the two men to each other. “The others are in the great room and you may leave your coat here in the foyer. So glad you came. Make yourself at home.”
Angelica kept her hand in Cray's and introduced him to members of the faculty as they meandered around the room. They stopped at the table where the refreshments sat and she handed him a cup of tea and offered him a plate of small watercress or cucumber sandwiches. As she did it, she looked up at him through her dark lashes and a hint of a smile played on her lips.
He grinned at her, gave a low chuckle and winked. With their tea and sandwiches, they continued to mingle. She led him straight to a beyond middle-aged man and said, “Tom, I'd like you to meet my very good and close friend, Cray Phillips. Cray, this is Tom Hargrove, the one I told you who lost his wife a couple of years ago.”
Cray balanced his tea cup on the plate and shook Tom's hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you and I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be devastating.”
“Yes, it is, thank you. Jean was a virtuous woman and I do miss her.”
“Virtuous women are rare today,” Cray said, “How fortunate you were to have her as long as you did.”
“Twenty-five years. We never had children. How do you know Angelica?”
“We met recently quite by accident and seem to have an affinity for each other. We've decided to explore our connection further. I have high hopes that it will lead to a meeting of the souls.” He put his arm around her shoulder and nudged her closer. “So far, so good. Isn't that right, Angel?”
“Yes, honey, that's right. Tom, we won't bore you with this. We need to circulate. I'm so glad to see you here.”
Cray said, “My pleasure meeting you, Tom. I wish you as much happiness as I found.”
Angelica introduced him to more people when they finished their tea and bland party sandwiches. They placed their cups and plates on a sideboard and hand in hand sauntered to another group. She introduced him to an Economics professor and the professor began an interrogation.
“What do you do for a living, Cray?” he asked in a stern tone.
“My company and I buy failing manufacturing facilities and try to turn them around to become profitable.”
“You're the personification of the American capitalist preying on the downtrodden.”
Cray's eyebrow arched, but he said, “That's not the way I view it, professor. My goal is to rehabilitate an American manufacturer.”
“Why do you bother? You're barking up the wrong tree. China has a monopoly producing quality goods at a lower cost. You're doomed to fail.”
“China's products are far inferior to American goods. It costs more to produce in this country, but the quality is superior and the workers are paid a fair wage in safe working conditions. They're given health benefits and access to self and company funded retirement plans so they can retire with dignity and not have to depend on the government.”
“Spoken like a greedy American.”
“Sir, we must agree to disagree.”
The professor turned to Angelica. “Do you agree with this man whose hand you hold?”
“Herbert, I became an American citizen because I believe with my whole heart that the American experiment while not perfect is the greatest society known to mankind and I pray that wrong thinkers will not destroy it with their Marxist leanings. If you'll excuse us, we have another event to attend. I bid you good day.”
“Why didn't you punch him in the nose?” Angel asked as he helped her put on her coat.
Cray chuckled. “That would make me an ugly American. I'd rather create thriving companies and hire lots of employees. His way is to distribute the wealth. I prefer my way better.”
Angelica and Cray climbed in the back of the taxi and she fumed. “Fucking communists. The universities are filled with them and they impact on a young person's mind. They're too ignorant to realize that we regard free speech as an inalienable privilege and these fuckers abuse it. I say we should round them up and send them to a third world country where they'd be imprisoned for speaking out against the pap some foreign governments spoon feeds them. It makes my blood boil. I still wish you would've punched out his lights, the little pompous worm. Cray, I worry about the direction this country is headed. Why didn't you set him straight while you had the chance?”
“Honey, I listened to some of this pap as you call it through four years of college and then graduate school. Unless it's a very specialized field, college teaches us how to find answers we want, discover opposing views and derive our own conclusions.
“You teach philosophy. I imagine your courses consist of studying and dissecting the meaning of some of the greatest thinkers the world has experienced. As your students comprehend the meaning put forth, they're learning to consider new paradigms and apply it to their life today. We graduate with the assurances in our minds that we can cure the world's ills. Reality sets in and our basic instincts kick us in the butt to find shelter, food, the necessities of life and that means taking a job regardless of our co-workers and superiors thought processes. We want to proselytize our ideas to who
ever will listen, make believers out of them, but we're too busy keeping body and soul together and our potential listeners are too busy to listen.”
“So we join the masses and never climb out of the rut? That's so cynical, Cray.”
“Most of us don't have the wherewithal, the time or the intelligence to enact a major change, but cream has forever risen to the top and so do people with great ideas and the ability to communicate those ideas to the population at large.
“I love and bow to the ingenuity of the American people. When there's a need, we rise to the challenge, create a solution to fulfill that need. I attribute the American genius to the way in the young days of this country we opened our doors to all people of the world who wanted to come here. We're called a melting pot and because we are populated with so many different cultures, our citizens bring a new perspective, a new paradigm if you will to solve a problem.”
“You don't believe in keeping a race pure.”
“Hell no. I'm a mongrel. Most Americans are because we've fallen in love and through breeding added another factor or culture to the mix. There are no Norwegians in my ancestry that I can remember. My paternal grandfather had the Phillips' ancestry traced. Suppose my sperm fertilizes your egg and produces a child. Voila! Another culture is added to our family history.”
“Speaking of sperm and eggs, I'm not on any birth control and I haven't been with a man for so long I'm sure I have no sexually transmitted diseases. Can you say the same?”
“Yes, I can. I always use a condom and I've been tested recently just in case.”
“Do you want me to go on the birth control pill?”
“Honey, I'm sure that intercourse without any barriers gives a better sensation, but that's your decision.”
“You never experienced that?”
“No. I consider ignorance bliss and I never wanted to tempt fate.”
“Didn't you ever have an ongoing relationship with a woman on the pill?”
“Yes, but I didn't trust it.”
“Don't you mean you didn't trust her?”