Alejandro

by LaRuse, Renee

  Queen_V: Wow. You literally made my jaw drop. You’re right. I do that. I did that in my last relationship. I kept seeing the possibility of what the relationship could be and I ignored the details that weren’t right. I let go of my own interests tryin to get the prize, even tho it would’ve been a Cracker Jack prize in the end lol

  Al79V: Thanks for hearing me out. I am not some controlling bastard. When you think about it, you’re the one in control here. You can ask all the questions, as personal as you want, and I’ll answer them. That way you’ll know I’m not parroting your responses back at you. And since you have no idea what I look like, you are free to be as blunt and honest as you would be if you were writing in your diary. If for some reason I decide not to speak with you anymore, you won’t know who you’re being rejected by. I, on the other hand, will never be able to forget your pretty face if you decide to end contact.

  Queen_V: Don’t make me blush. You’re very persuasive. Cult leader would be a great career move for ya.

  Al79V: Lol I like your sense of humor :) Like I said on my profile, I’m looking for something genuine, and this is as real as it can be. Two people, talking honestly with each other, without any pressure. It’s been fun so far, hasn’t it? We have nothing to lose.

  Queen_V: I guess I’m not losing anything...other than my precious time ;)

  Al79V: Our precious time.

  Queen_V: Wait a minute...You’re a diabetic who has a fear of needles?

  Al79V: Yep. I’m a special guy.

  Queen_V: Aww I’m sorry, hun.

  Al79V: Everyone has their cross to bear. Things could always be worse.

  Queen_V: What’s ur name? What should I call u?

  Al79V: Alejandro

  Queen_V: I like that name ;) I’m Veronica.

  Al79V: Nice to meet you, Veronica. I’d love to keep chatting with you but I have a busy day tomorrow.

  Queen_V: Shit. It’s one in the morning already? How’d that happen?!

  Al79V: Where I am it’s two

  Queen_V: I thought you lived in Sacramento

  Al79V: I travel for work. I’m in New Mexico right now. I have a good feeling about you Veronica.

  Queen_V: Whoa. Pump the brakes. I don’t want to be a victim of your imagination.

  Al79V: Lol You got me.

  Queen_V: Goodnight ;)

  Al79V: Sleep tight.

  Five

  The Keyshia Cole ringtone on her cell phone startled Veronica awake at eight that morning. Staying buried under her comforter, she reached her hand out to the night table, grasped her phone, and drew it back into her dark lair. Her tired eyes read the screen. She hesitated but answered the call. “Quincy, why are you calling me so early?”

  “Early?” He huffed. “You’re usually up around six. Why are you so tired? What did you do last night?”

  “Nothing. Just messed around on the computer,” she explained before realizing it was none of his damn business. “What did you do last night?”

  “Since you the one that kicked me out, I don’t know why you wonderin’ about that.”

  “I was just being polite. I’m not worried about you like that anymore.”

  “I had a good time last night,” he continued. “Went out with my boys and didn’t have to think about you naggin’ at me about it when I got home.”

  “That’s nice. I had a good time Friday night, celebrating my freedom,” she fired back.

  Quincy chuckled. “You don’t have to lie to make me jealous.”

  “I have no reason to lie. Trying to make you jealous would be a waste of time. You weren’t concerned about me when we were together so I doubt you care now what I do with my time.”

  “Why do you say stuff like that? That’s bullshit! I wasn’t concerned about you? I’ve been there for you for two years but I didn’t care about you? You don’t even make sense right now, man.”

  “Don’t call me up to argue with me first thing in the morning. Matter of fact, don’t call me at all. Goodbye. Have fun at your momma’s house.”

  “Hold up, hold up.” His deep voice became soothing and apologetic. “Okay. I don’t want to argue with you. Honest. Can we talk, please, like two adults?”

  “Unless you’re going to tell me that I was hallucinating when I found those condom wrappers under my couch, there is nothing to talk about.”

  “Nica, I am who I am. A man like me needs to have a couple females on the side, but you’re my woman. I don’t love them. I love you.”

  Veronica clutched her pillow tighter. “When you really love someone...” Grief pressed at her vocal chords. “Quincy, the thought of hurting them tears you up inside. You never thought of me. All I wanted was for you to think about me.”

  “I wish you could understand how it is for me,” he said, dejected but also irritated.

  For a moment, Veronica felt guilty. Maybe he really couldn’t control his lust. Maybe he was a sex addict. She could do some research, find a psychiatrist. They could both do counseling. They might work this out, if she was willing to make some sacrifices. But what would he sacrifice for her? “If I fucked four different dudes while we were together, would you understand, Quincy? Would you accept that ‘I am who I am’, Quincy?”

  Quincy was silent. The blanket suddenly felt cold against Veronica’s skin. “Leave me alone. Let me move on with my life.”

  “Come on. You don’t mean that.”

  “Bye, Quincy.” She ended the call. Her trembling hand emerged from the blanket and returned her cell phone to the nightstand. She buried her wet face against her pillow and curled up like a sautéed shrimp.

  God, why did I answer the phone?

  ***

  Al79V: How are you this evening, Beautiful?

  Queen_V: Shitty. How are you?

  Al79V: What happened?

  Queen_V: My ex called me this morning. I stayed in bed most of the day.

  Al79V: You let him ruin your day? :/

  Queen_V: Yeah. I should’ve ignored his call. You said I can ask you any questions I want, right?

  Al79V: Yes but some specifics will be off limits. My last name, the name of the company I work for, etc.

  Queen_V: Understood. I want to know, have you ever cheated on someone before?

  Al79V: I have, but I would never do it again. I was in college and not mature enough to let go of a girl I loved but wasn’t in love with. I’m sorry your ex hurt you that way.

  Queen_V: So my ex cheated on me because he was never in love with me?

  Al79V: I can’t speak for him, but that would be my guess. Don’t allow yourself to think you don’t deserve love and loyalty. Your ex, who we can both agree was an asshole, didn’t do anything extraordinary, but you loved him for him. You don’t have to do anything more or be anything more to find someone who will love you for you. Just be yourself.

  Al79V: Veronica?

  Queen_V: I’m here. I had to grab a tissue.

  Al79V: I was trying to dry your tears, not start them :(

  Queen_V: I’m not upset. I’m touched. No one has ever said that to me the way you said it. Thank you for the encouragement. You’re very kind.

  Al79V: That’s what friends are for. Besides, an insecure woman is a complete turnoff.

  Queen_V: Did I say you were kind? Strike that from the record.

  Al79V: Ha ha! Honestly, kind is not the first word most people would use to describe me. I reserve most of my kindness for my family and close friends.

  Queen_V: If you want a completely confident woman, try a drag queen.

  Al79V: Lol No way in hell. Are you angry with me?

  Queen_V: A little

  Al79V: First of all, I can tell you’re a confident woman compared to most. Secondly, I was being honest. Only predators are attracted to insecurities.

  Queen_V: What’s one of your biggest insecurities?

  Al79V: Predator!

  Queen_V: Lol No I’m not. Answer the question.

  Al79V: But my ego is so very important to me. Have pi
ty.

  Queen_V: Don’t chicken out now.

  Al79V: Alright. I’ll tell you... I was practically born with a unibrow. My mother has been waxing my eyebrows for me since I was twelve.

  Queen_V: Poor baby! LOL!

  Al79V: I share my deep dark secret and you cackle all over my computer screen?

  Queen_V: Are you angry with me?

  Al79V: Nah :P

  Queen_V: Good. I do care about your feelings, papi. :)

  Al79V: Keep on calling me that ;) You speak Spanish?

  Queen_V: A fair amount. I’m a paralegal and sometimes I help translate for my boss’s clients. Do you speak Spanish?

  Al79V: Por supuesto. Soy cubano y puertorriqueño.

  Queen_V: Cuban and Puerto Rican?! Wow :) Where were you born?

  Al79V: I was born in Miami. Lived there 8 yrs, then moved to Texas for a while, then to Sacramento when I was 12. There’s what I consider home.

  Queen_V: I’ve been in California my whole life. Why did you move around so much?

  Al79V: Wherever my grandfather went, my family went.

  Queen_V: He must be a good man :)

  Al79V: Yes. He’s a very smart, hardworking man who always takes care of his family. Sometimes he’s too generous. I do my best to protect him from greedy mouths.

  Queen_V: Aw, good job protecting your grandpa :)

  Al79V: I’m closer to him then my father. I like to think I take after him. Smart, handsome, and a sucker for dark-skinned women.

  Queen_V: Is that so? Be careful. A diabetic shouldn’t have too much chocolate. ;)

  Al79V: Veronica, I take my health very seriously and I watch my sugar. The darker the chocolate, the less sugar, so I strictly go for the chocolates that are 70% cocoa or higher. Take you for instance ;)

  Queen_V: You are a trip! :P

  Al79V: I’ll catch you tho :)

  Queen_V: Just remember to lift with your legs lol

  Al79V: I bench 220. I’m more than strong enough to sweep you off of your feet. Trust me, you’re perfect for me.

  Queen_V: Ok Lol I’m worried you have a fetish :/

  Al79V: For black women?

  Queen_V: Mhmm

  Al79V: I wouldn’t call it that. I’m not obsessed with black women. I’ve dated women that aren’t black. I just prefer fuller lips, wider hips and skin that’s darker than mine. What do you prefer?

  Queen_V: Truthfully, I prefer someone whose skin is different than mine too. My last bf was black but lighter than me. It’s hard to admit that.

  Al79V: We like what we like. There’s no shame in it.

  Queen_V: I feel a little wrong about it. If I’m mostly attracted to guys who are lighter than me, doesn’t that mean I secretly hate my own skin color and want to be lighter?

  Al79V: I bet if you had lighter skin, the dark-skinned brothas would catch your eye, because it’s the contrast that attracts you.

  Queen_V: Oooh ok. I like that defense lol

  Al79V: I wish I could hear that laugh of yours

  Queen_V: I wish I could see that face of yours :P

  Al79V: Lol Be a good girl and you’ll get what you want

  Queen_V: Being a good girl never works for me

  Al79V: It will with me, Beautiful. Having a grateful attitude attracted more things into my life to be thankful for. I’m grateful to have you as a friend, by the way. The nights get a little lonely when you travel for work as much as I do. To hear your voice would bring some warmth to this empty hotel room I’m in. Could I call you sometime?

  Queen_V: That would be nice

  Al79V: How about tomoro night? 10:30?

  Queen_V: Ok :)

  Al79V: I can tell you’re worried lol

  Queen_V: How did you know that? Now I’m really worried lol

  Al79V: I had a feeling you would be.

  Queen_V: I’m just praying you’re not a pervert

  Al79V: I’m a man, V. Of course I’m a pervert sometimes :P I’m only a pervert when it’s appropriate tho. I promise.

  Queen_V: I sure hope so

  Al79V: Gimme them digits girl ;)

  Queen_V: I won’t type very well without any digits

  Al79V: Ha ha ha! Gimme dat phone number so I can call your nerdy ass

  Queen_V: Lol Yes I’m a nerd. Try your best to keep up with me ;) Here’s my number...

  ***

  “I think we have the makings of a class action suit, here,” Ally smirked as she strode toward Veronica’s desk with an armload of paperwork and file folders. “Mr. Roberto Diaz and his wife Imelda Diaz bought three cans of Vega brand white hominy on January 15th.” Ally dumped the tower of files onto Veronica’s desk, causing her framed family photos to quake. “After enjoying a delicious meal of chicken pasole, they and their three children played musical toilets all night. Food poisoning. I’m sure the CDC will officially classify this as an outbreak very soon, what with the number of Hispanic consumers in California. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz want my representation, making it very likely that I’ll be representing all of the plaintiffs in the Diaz vs. Vega Foods, Incorporated case. My very first class action suit. This could put me on television, Veronica.” Thinking of cameramen and camerawomen, she smoothed out the wrinkles in her dark blue jacket and pressed her lips together to spread her ruby lipstick.

  “Yay,” Veronica cheered with as much enthusiasm as she could muster while imagining the pressure they’d all be under.

  “It could also mean bonuses all around.”

  “Bonuses?” Veronica kissed her fingertips and rubbed her hand on top of the column of papers. “I’ll get right on it, Ms. Kokkinos.”

  “I need those organized by the end of the day because I’ll need you and Carmen assisting me with client interviews first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “Okay.” She inhaled deeply to combat the agitated hive of anxiety that had been growing in her chest since she rolled out of bed that morning.

  “Lunchtime!” Carmen sprang up from her desk. Today she wore a green cap-sleeved dress and her red hair was up in a chignon.

  “I’m having lunch delivered to my office today,” said Ally, “You ladies go to Alonzo’s without me.”

  Alonzo’s was an adorable Italian eatery that offered the best shrimp cocktail Veronica had ever tasted. Both girls sat at their usual table and ordered chopped salads and garlic knots.

  “Why the long face,” Carmen questioned.

  “Oh. I didn’t realize I was frowning.” Veronica adjusted the cloth napkin on the lap of her black, belted, cowl neck dress.

  “Well? What’s up?”

  “This is gonna sound ridiculous, but I think I’m afraid to speak to that guy I’ve been talking to online. He said he’d call me tonight.”

  “The Spanish hottie?”

  “I don’t know if he’s a hottie. That’s why I’m confused. Why am I nervous to talk to some random guy who could be as ugly as Carrot Top with no makeup on?”

  “Hey. I can’t let you say that about a fellow Ginger,” Carmen said once she finished laughing. “You’re only nervous because you want things to go well.”

  “Carmen, honestly, I haven’t felt so nervous over a guy in a long time.”

  “Wow, what’s he been telling you? Uh-oh. Did he promise you shopping sprees and yacht trips if you opened up a bank account for him? He’s one of those Nigerian dudes! Open your eyes, Veronica! He’s a scammer!”

  Veronica laughed and almost choked on a crumble of gorgonzola cheese. “You’re so silly. No he’s not. Not a Nigerian scam artist, anyways. His English is too good.”

  “If he makes you any crazy promises, run away.”

  She nodded. “I know all that. He hasn’t done anything wrong yet. He’s smart, he makes me laugh,” Veronica paused, smiled, “and he tells me I’m beautiful.”

  “So, of course, you want things to stay that way. You don’t want to be disappointed if you find out he has the voice of a castrato.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks for giving me another thing to wor
ry about.”

  “Sorry, sorry. I’ll shut up now.” Carmen shoved a whole garlic bread knot into her mouth.

  “Chipmunk,” Veronica teased.

  “Don rorry Wemomika. Ibwuh be awight.”

  ***

  The digital world really took all the drama out of reading time. Analog clocks were solemn, blank faces that ticked and tocked on, second after second, with hands twitching ever closer to some dreaded hour. Digital clocks were faceless, silent, and unforgiving. In the blink of an eye, without warning, the numbers changed.

  Veronica steepled her hands under her chin as she sat on her couch, watching a rerun on the muted TV and obsessively glancing at the time on the cable box. 10:28 PM. Her elbows were slowly slipping off of her knees, finding little traction on the silky fabric of her pink pajama pants. She sat in silence watching the time. What if he turns out to be really cool to talk to but I can’t hold his interest with my conversation? What if there are a dozen awkward silences? What if he’s actually a redneck Neo-Nazi from Kentucky playing a trick on me for race-mixing? In an instant the clock read 10:29. The orb of anxiety in her chest tingled and pulsed. Why am I so nervous?!

  The vibrating of her cell phone buzzed against the glass tabletop of the coffee table before her. Startled, she jumped up from the couch, then grabbed the phone from the table. Her thrilled heart chilled when she read the screen.

  Quincy.

  Don’t let him ruin your night. Remember? Yes, she remembered how Quincy had argued with her, ducking and dodging responsibility for the demise of their relationship, but what if this time there was an emergency? Maybe something happened to his mom or to him. Her thumb began to sway in the direction of the glowing green answer icon, the sound of Keyshia Cole crooning a scolding love song from the speaker of her phone barely keeping her at bay.

  Wait. If it’s important, he’ll leave a message.

  She returned the phone to the coffee table and sat down on the couch again. The phone stopped ringing. Soon after, her phone chimed, alerting her that there was a message. She listened to Quincy’s recorded voice.

  “Veronica, this isn’t cool for me to be livin’ under my mother’s roof again. When are you going to stop playing this game and let me come back home? I had planned a cookout for this weekend at our house. Am I supposed to just tell my boys and my family that it’s canceled because of you? We need to have a real discussion about this. Call me back.”