“Don’t be silly. We’re not trying to cause you harm. As I said in the beginning, everything you do is because you choose to do it, not because we coerced you. If you stay, then these are the rules for eating each meal. If you do not kneel and twenty minutes pass, we will provide a meal replacement. The attendant will show you the meal you missed and will replace the dome in the locked position. When you’ve finished your chosen meal, an attendant will come take everything away.”
I scoffed.
“So I either play the game or I suffer the consequences.”
“There’s nothing to suffer in the choice. It isn’t blind, like many in life. You know the results of your choice before you make them.”
“I see.”
He smiled. There was a lightness about him which reached his eyes, but I couldn’t help but think he wasn’t telling me everything I needed to know.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to kneel. This will make sure the apparatus works correctly and we calibrate all the pressure plates to your body.”
“And if I refuse?”
“You can make that choice. What is the consequence of it? More importantly, is the consequence worth it? Before you make that decision, I should tell you we have a dedicated Michelin chef. There’s nothing she can’t make. I also know there’s steak and eggs with a side of bacon under one of those domes.”
“How’s the steak cooked?”
“Medium rare, as is your preference per your questionnaire.”
I took a deep breath and walked over to the kneeling chair at the end of the couch, then sank down to my knees. A green light lit over top of the dome, and the coffee table moved until it slid in front of me.
“Good choice, Lexus. Enjoy your breakfast,” he said and then disappeared from the screen.
In front of me, the click of a lock drew my attention, and I tried to lift the dome on the first plate. With little effort, it separated from the plate, and it rewarded me with a French omelet, filet minion steak, and a side of bacon. With a bit of bravery, now that I’d accomplished a simple task, I lifted the dome on the other plate to find fresh squeezed orange juice and a latte complete with an intricate design.
As I lifted the silverware from the table, a small envelope shifted under it. Across the front was the number with which everyone but Dr. McNally referred to me. With a quick tug, I pulled open the envelope and lifted the small card inside. The quote was embossed on fine linen.
“Not until we are lost, do we begin to understand ourselves.”–Henry David Thoreau.
“What an odd quote for breakfast,” I mused as I dug into the beautifully prepared meal.
Chapter Thirteen
I savored every bite of the wonderful meal. The buttery eggs coated my palate, and the steak melted across my tongue. After twenty minutes in the kneeling position, my body was aching to move. With one last bite, I shifted on the chair and stood. In front of me, the coffee table slid back into place in front of the couch.
“Was your breakfast enjoyable, two six eight?” the attendant asked as they walked through the door.
“Yes, thank you,” I responded and stepped out of the way.
With efficiency, they cleared the trays from the coffee table and turned to give me a slight bow before backing out of the room.
“That was odd,” I said to the room as I watched them leave.
“What do you find odd, Lexus?” Dr. McNally asked, startling me. I stumbled in my attempt to turn and face the monitor, but his strong arms caught me before I landed in a tangle across the coffee table or the couch.
“You’re…” I stuttered as I worked to find my balance.
“I’m what?”
“How?”
He chuckled as his strong hands guided me until I sat on the couch. Then he walked over to the chair on the other side of the coffee table and took a seat. My mind struggled with the reality of his presence versus my expectation of being alone in the room. For a long moment I stared at him, but he remained relaxed and patient.
“Was your breakfast worth it?” he asked.
“Worth what?”
Dr. McNally quirked an eyebrow but did not elaborate on his question.
“It was an uncomfortable position toward the end, and I don’t understand why anyone would kneel to eat, but the breakfast was well worth the compliance to such a small request.”
He nodded but didn’t respond further.
“Why is it important that I kneel for food?”
“The activity of kneeling is of no consequence.”
“Then what’s the point?” I asked.
He sighed, and I scowled in response. It was as if the answer to my question was obvious, and I was missing it entirely.
“Let me rephrase, why is it important that I choose to kneel?”
A smile hinted at the corners of his mouth, and I let my body relax against the couch.
“Choice is important. If you do not choose something, then it is coercion, and there’s no reason to coerce those who choose a path under a set of circumstances.”
“Isn’t making one path easier to follow a form of coercion?” I asked.
“Is freedom an illusion?” he countered.
“No,” I said and scowled.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m free to do things every day. I can get up when I want to get up. I can go to bed when I want to go to bed and a thousand other things.”
“If you were free to get up when you wanted to get up, and it caused you to miss a rehearsal, would you continue to be employed?”
“Of course not. A dancer must be disciplined, and there are expectations of classes, rehearsals, and performances.”
“Then you are not free to get up when you choose because you must get up in time to do what must be done for you to successfully make it to class.”
“It’s a job. All jobs are structured in some way.”
“Thus you exchange money for the structured environment demanded by an employer? Does it make you free?”
“I’m free to quit the job and take another one if I don’t like it.”
“Indeed. If you are not working, how do you pay the bills?”
“I can use savings or find another job,” I countered.
“How was that going for you last week?”
I crossed my arms and leaned back against the arm of the couch.
“Defiance is almost attractive on you. In small doses it can serve you well, but it must be tempered,” he advised.
Words refused to form across my lips as my brain raged at the arrogant asshole sitting across from me.
“Now, Lexus, tell me why it is important to choose to kneel when you eat.”
I sighed and hugged my arms tighter across my body.
“Relax, Lexus. This isn’t an attack. It’s a simple lesson. Life is full of them.”
Chapter Fourteen
Everything in me refused to move. I felt like a caged animal, yet there was no external threat.
“I could choose not to kneel.”
“Yes. It is a choice available to you. Although I hear the meal replacement, while nutritious, is far less appetizing.”
“While that may be true, it proves I have options.”
He nodded.
“No matter what is ahead of you on this path, you always have options, Lexus. You must always realize that some options are down paths which are easy, while others may prove more difficult. Neither path is right for everyone, which is why your choice in the matter is of paramount importance.”
“Will I always have options?”
“Yes, unless you waive them. Even then, others may choose things in your best interest for you.”
“Choose for me? What am I, suddenly incapable?”
He smiled and shook his head.
“You are far from incapable or you wouldn’t be here, but everyone needs someone else to lift when the world is crushing.”
“Fair. What is ‘here’ exactly?”
“Did you read the paperwork?”
I shrugged. “Mostly.”
“Then you mostly know where you are right now. So far you know the basic structure of your days. Can you tell me what you ‘mostly’ know?”
“Are you always like this?”
“Are you always this stubborn?”
“Why are you answering my questions with more questions?”
“Why aren’t you answering mine?”
I huffed, but it only caused Dr. McNally to grin back at me.
“Physical therapy happens at seven-thirty in the morning. Then I am to shower, and breakfast will be set out by the time I am done. To get to the good breakfast, I must kneel on the contraption behind me. This brings the table in front of me and unlocks the domes. Failure to do so results in a meal replacement, after I am shown the breakfast which could have been mine. If I tire of these games, I can hit the big red button on the wall and make it stop.”
“Looks like you know quite a bit about this place,” he quipped.
“What happens if I want it all to stop, but I can’t hit the big red button?”
“Then scream the words, ‘Big Red button.’ Everything will end.”
“You said there might be times when someone will act on my behalf. Can they hit the big red button for me?”
“As a general rule—no. In very extreme cases—yes, but you can appeal the decision without repercussions to your standing.”
“So, in essence, no.”
“In the grand overview, you are correct. In specific instances, it could be a detail in a larger path.”
“Why do I feel you're not telling me everything?”
“Because I’m not.”
“How can I make good decisions if I don’t know all the details?”
“Do you make decisions in your normal life without knowing all the details and paths?”
I scowled at him. The answer was obvious, but this tit for tat was both interesting and annoying.
“Yes. Everyone does. There’s no way to know what is impacted by every small choice.”
“Then why so much concern here? These are all small choices.”
“Are they really?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “Do you have a better handle on your role in the paths you chose from here?”
“I think so,” I said with resignation.
“Good. I have a new challenge for you. According to your paperwork, you’ve never done any type of anal play.”
Embarrassment raced along every nerve ending as the room grew unbearably warm.
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed, Lexus. Though I am quite enjoying the loveliness of the pink on your skin. We must explore if all your skin pinks up so nicely sometime in the future.”
I shook my head, but his words piqued my curiosity.
“I would like for you to insert a small butt plug in your ass. There are several videos on the entertainment player to help you understand the best way to go about this request. You will also find all the supplies you need in the drawer of your closet. You have until dinner time to complete your task. Should you require anything between now and then, you only need to ask the room attendant. Are these instructions clear?”
I nodded.
“When you are given instructions and asked if you understand, then your response should be a respectful, ‘Yes, Sir.’ Am I clear?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I nodded.
“Yes, Sir,” I whispered.
“Very good. Do you have any concerns with this request?”
“Is it going to hurt?”
“Not if you follow the instructions.”
“And if I choose not to comply?”
“You will face the consequences of that choice, just as you will find the consequences if you comply.”
“Why do you make it sound easy?”
He stood and walked over to me, then tucked a finger under my chin and lifted it until I looked up at him.
“Because it is easy. Don’t get in your own way, Lexus.”
I sighed at his touch. There was something about this situation which settled me in a way I’d never experienced.
“Now strip. For the rest of the afternoon, you will be naked as you explore this new experience.”
“Wait! What?” I exclaimed as I pulled out of his light hold.
“Were my instructions unclear?”
I looked at him as I shook my head, only to be met by an expression of displeasure.
“No, Sir,” I stuttered to correct my obvious mistake.
“Then strip.”
Chapter Fifteen
For a heartbeat, I hesitated.
“Stand up and face the wall,” he said.
The full weight of his confident authority filled the room, and I turned to face in the opposite direction. My fingers trembled as they toyed with the edge of my top until I pulled it up over my head. Each piece of clothing was like stripping away a part of me until I stood vulnerable in the room.
“Very good, two six eight. You may turn around. On the table is the plug for you to insert. In the closet, you will find a variety of gloves and the lube compatible with it,” the voice attendant said through the speakers in the room. The sudden change from intimate touch to clinical interaction was startling.
“Dr. McNally would have preferred to guide you through this exercise a bit more, but your choices prevented that path.”
“I don’t understand,” I responded to the room.
“Compliance creates one path, hesitation another, and non-compliance yet another. In between each are the subtle variations of personal interaction.”
I sighed in frustration.
“Is there an issue, two six eight?”
“All of this is confusing.”
“I’m unsure why you are confused. You were given the paperwork, and you knew you’d be subjected to things which pushed you. Earning ten thousand dollars isn’t without consequences to self.”
“I guess… I didn’t realize my body was part of the price.”
“Let’s get real, two six eight, you were a dancer. Your body was the reason they paid you.”
“How dare you!” I screamed as the reality of the words washed over me.
“If you need anything, please ask. Good luck, two six eight.”
My body shook with rage as I paced around the couch. With each pass, I looked at the butt plug taunting me on the coffee table. By the sixth pass, the vulnerability of my situation significantly irritated me, and I grabbed the shirt I’d thrown on the couch and crawled back into it.
The soft material wrapped around me and soothed the edge of my out-of-control emotions. On the next pass, I grabbed a pair of boy shorts from the closet and inhaled with a deep calm. The clothes were like armor in a world which looked calm on the outside but roared in a vicious storm underneath. By the twelfth pass around the couch, I’d gathered my breathing back to a normal pace, and on the fifteenth, it slowed to a relaxed rhythm.
When I was once again calm, I searched for the remote to the entertainment center, but it refused to present itself anywhere.
“Where the fuck is the remote?”
“The remote was removed from your room as a result of not complying with the request to strip.”
“How the hell am I supposed to watch these videos if I can’t control the system on which I view them?”
“It looks like you must ask for help. I am glad to pull up anything you require. You only need to ask.”
“You mean, I have to ask you to pull up a video for this… insertion technique?”
“Two six eight, your play at ignorance to how the room attendant system works is unbecoming.”
“You’re quite the smart ass,” I responded.
“And you are being purposely obtuse in the belief it will gain you leniency. I can let you in on a secret—the opposite is true. In addition, I believe you were told to be naked for the rest of the day. Your lack of compliance was noted.”
&
nbsp; “Fuck you.”
“It would be my pleasure, but not necessarily yours.”
“You’re sick, you know that?”
“Do you not like the situation in which you find yourself?”
“Not particularly.”
“Then all you have to do is press the red button on the wall. Here, let me help you find it.”
Across the room, the large button pulsated as it bathed the room in a glowing red light. Around me, the other lights faded until it was the only light in the room.
“You can end it all right now. No more vulnerability. No other paths to follow. No simple requests to obey. You can immediately return to the outside world without the money you came to claim. Return to the world where your bills await their immediate payment. The place where your paths are shrouded in a thousand unknowns. Will you ever dance again at a professional level? Are your dreams over? What will you do for money if the company doesn’t accept you back? All you need to do is press the button. It’s so easy. A short walk of fifteen steps and all of this vulnerability will end.”
Chapter Sixteen
I walked toward the button in slow, agonizing steps. Nothing in me wanted to quit, but I was no longer sure if I was strong enough for this path. The glowing light called to me, but my hands refused to lift as I faced it.
“Please,” I whispered.
“Please what, two six eight? Press the damn button. Put yourself out of your own perceived misery,” the voice taunted.
“No. Please turn it off.”
“Turn it off? Hell, no. It’s what you want and desire. Press the button.”
“No,” I said as tears spilled down my cheeks.
“Press the button now!”
“No, please.”
“Please what, two six eight?” the voice demanded.
“Please turn it off,” I said as a sob escaped my lips.
In front of me, the button quit glowing and the lights turned up. My body slumped in relief as I placed my hand on the wall for support.
“Now strip and place all your clothes in the closet,” the attendant demanded.
Without hesitation, I lifted my top over my head, wiping away the river of tears as I walked toward the closet. Along the way, I gathered the rest of my clothes. When I reached the closet, I took a deep breath and stripped off the boy shorts. Each item was neatly folded and placed in the closet.
An Exquisite Experiment Page 4