Diary of a Ninja Spy 5: Alien Attack! (Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja Spy)

by Peter Patrick

  Where evil goes, the ninja will follow…

  Also in the Diary of a Ninja Spy series:

  Diary of a Ninja Spy

  Diary of a Ninja Spy 2

  Diary of a Ninja Spy 3

  Diary of a Ninja Spy 4

  Also by William Thomas and Peter Patrick:

  Diary of a Super Spy

  Diary of a Super Spy 2: Attack of the Ninjas!

  Diary of a Super Spy 3: A Giant Problem!

  Diary of a Super Spy 4: Space!

  Diary of a Super Spy 5: Evil Attack!

  Diary of a Super Spy 6: Daylight Robbery!

  Diary of a Ninja Spy 5: Alien Attack!

  William Thomas

  Peter Patrick

  Copyright © 2016

  Published by Run Happy Publishing

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Chapter 1

  Ugh.

  I am sooo bored.

  My best friend Fred is conducting one of his super special, but super boring, experiments. He loves this stuff.

  “Let’s go outside, Fred,” I say to my friend. “We’ve been inside all day.”

  “No Blake, this is important! This is an advanced scientific experiment! This is one of the most important things I have ever done, and it may be one of the most important moments in history. If this works, then our lives may be changed forever. The entire world may be changed forever. You can go without me, but I need to finish this.”

  “I’ll wait for you, Fred. You need to leave your room. Besides, I need a wingman for when we bump into Amy.”

  Amy is a girl at school that I like. I’m not being mean, but Fred is incredibly nerdy. When he is standing next to me, I look totally cool.

  We are in Fred’s bedroom, where he conducts most of his scientific experiments. Even though we don’t have homework this weekend, Fred still does science for fun. Last week, he constructed a robot using only tissue boxes, an old computer, and four batteries, but that didn’t go so well. All the robot did was laugh. He laughed particularly hard when he saw Fred’s new haircut. Fred took the batteries out after that.

  But the week before that, he built a super powerful computer made completely out of sticks and old electrical wire. He even invented his own game on it, called Minecrafty. It was like Minecraft, but more crafty. This kid is a genius.

  Fred keeps tinkering away at whatever he is doing… wait a minute. What is he doing?

  “Er, Fred?”

  “Yes, Blake.”

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Are you serious!? Did you really just ask me that question? I have been talking about this for months. I have spent the whole day working on this project, with you next to me, and you ask me what am I doing? I have told you about a thousand times! Do you ever listen to me?!”

  Hmmm, Fred seems frustrated.

  “Ha, just joking, Fred. Of course, I know what you are doing. I totally know. I know so much about what you are doing that I should get an award for ‘Most Knowingly Person Around.’ If there is not an award for that, then we should make one. I could get the first award, and then the award would be named after me - ‘The Blake Award for Knowing People.’ Yep, that would work. Totally.”

  I don’t know what Fred is doing.

  I have no idea.

  But I have good reasons for not listening to Fred ramble on about science all day, every day.

  Firstly, I am not very good at science, and secondly, I have been very busy lately with my secret life as a Ninja Spy. I have been training and fighting, and training and fighting, and training and fighting, and eating hamburgers. And of course, there has also been training and fighting! I know. It’s a lot of work.

  Being a Ninja Spy isn’t easy, but it’s totally worth it.

  There’s lots of hardcore action and adventure every week. I have battled ninja ghosts, evil clones and the world’s toughest bad guys!

  In the past week, my trainer Tekato has been teaching me how to catch ninja stars. I haven’t been able to catch one yet, but I am getting better at it.

  And I still go to school every day.

  Even though I am not allowed to reveal to anyone that I am a Ninja Spy, I love it. My closest friends know what I do, but to the rest of the world, my identity is secret.

  And I haven’t lost a ninja battle yet!

  I’m unbeatable!

  My name is Blake Turner, and I am the undefeated Ninja Spy!

  This is me and my unofficial scoreboard.

  There is no-one else at the Ninja Spy Agency who can boast about such a great record. And I’ve been sure to tell everyone. Well, as much as I can because I am sworn to secrecy.

  “Yes! I’ve done it!” Fred yells in joy. “Blake, look! I’ve done it! I’ve made it work! I’ve hooked the green conductor to the earth wire, and the red velvet hammer to the blue shiny button. That will enable the electrical current to flow to the correct areas of the machine. Woo!”

  “Yay?” I have no idea what he has done.

  “I’ve completed my Intergalactic Communicator project!”

  “Wow?” I still have no idea what he has done.

  Fred starts to speak into a microphone, which is attached to his guitar amplifier, which is attached to his computer, which is then attached to a radar dish sitting at his bedroom window. The radar dish is pointed high in the sky.

  His voice goes in the microphone, travels through his contraption and comes out as a high pitched scribbly sound at the other end.

  “Hello, my friends. My name is Fred and I come in peace,” Fred calmly says into his microphone. “If you are out there, please respond.”

  “Ha ha ha!” I blurt out.

  “Are you trying to make contact with someone in the International Space Station? Is that what this is?! That’s so cool! I would love to talk with the astronauts.”

  “No, Blake. This is a communicator… to talk to aliens!”

  “Aliens?”

  “Yes, Blake. Aliens.”

  “But aliens don’t exist!”

  “You’re wrong, Blake. They do exist, and they will talk back to us. The device is sending my message deep, deep into outer space. My voice is traveling between galaxies, searching for aliens that can respond. They are out there, Blake. They will hear my voice and respond. I will be the first person on planet Earth to talk with aliens.”

  “You are just talking to the stars, you loony! You’re totes crazy, Fred. What a waste of time! Come on, let’s go outside,” I say to Fred.

  Fred sits up and smiles at me.

  “You’re right, let’s go outside as a celebration of a successful experiment! Extraterrestrial life does exist, and I’ll prove it to you when I get a response,” Fred says with confidence. “I wonder what they will say? Maybe they will tell me the secrets of the universe, like how to time-travel. Or maybe they will teach me how to build an Intergalactic Spacecraft. Or maybe-”

  “Or maybe they will teach you how to talk to girls.”

  “Um, yep,” Fred responses. He isn’t great at talking to girls. Last time he tried to talk with Gemma, the girl he likes, he couldn’t even open his mouth. He spent five minutes just staring at her.

  “Let’s go,” I pat Fred on the back.

  “Sure, but first I need
to wee,” he announces.

  As he leaves the room, I am left alone with his new experiment. I could totally send a better message to the non-existent aliens out there. I could tell them all about the Earth and how beautiful it is, or I could tell them all about the wonderful things that humans have accomplished…

  Nah.

  I grab his microphone and turn on the Intergalactic Communicator.

  “Hello, aliens! My name is Blake, and I am the greatest Ninja Spy of all time! I am so great that I am undefeated in all my battles. I would easily kick butt against any aliens listening to this message. Aliens are stupid. Aliens are so dumb that aliens don’t know they are dumb! And also, all your parties suck - they have no atmosphere! Ha ha! And I know what an alien’s favorite chocolate is – it’s a Mars bar!”

  “Blake! What are you doing?” Fred barges in. “Did you just taunt the entire galaxy with a stupid message? Who knows who is listening to that out there in space?”

  “Nobody is out there, Blake. There is no such thing as aliens.”

  “Blake, aliens are out there. And this is surely going to come back and bite you on the butt!”

  “Don’t worry about it, Fred. Be cool. There is definitely, absolutely, positively no such thing as aliens. It is just something astronauts say to keep themselves in a job. There are no aliens out there listening to my message, and if they were, they would be too scared to come here and meet me,” I reply with confidence.

  Fred replies, “Blake, I have a feeling that you are wrong. Very wrong…”

  Chapter 2

  Before I get a chance to leave Fred’s house and go outside, my Mom turns up.

  This is bad.

  Why is she here?

  I don’t remember doing something wrong.

  “Blake, why are you still here? Have you forgotten something?” Mom asks.

  Mom knows exactly what I’ve forgotten. Mom likes to play games like that – I have enough tests at school, I don’t need them from Mom as well. She is always asking me questions like that – ‘Blake, did you leave your shirt on the floor?’, ‘Blake, did you clean up your dinner?’, ‘Blake, did you eat all the dog food again?’.

  “Uh, no. I remember,” I reply to Mom, although I have no idea what she is talking about. “Fred and I are just leaving to go to that thing… and do the other thing… for the thing.”

  “Oh good, you did remember. Why are you bringing Fred?” Mom asks.

  I look at Fred, and he shrugs his shoulders.

  “We are going to get you fitted for a suit for our family portraits. How exciting!” Mom jumps with joy. “This is the best day of the year!”

  Aww, man!

  I hate these family portraits!

  Every year, we spent hours shopping, and Mom ends up buying me an ultra-embarrassing suit. Her taste in clothes is terrible!

  And shopping for hours with my Mom is NOT a cool look for my image.

  It gets worse too - we spend hours posing for photos that go into an embarrassing family calendar, which Mom sends to everyone!

  “So what have you boys been doing this morning?” Mom asks.

  “Just solving the mysteries of the universe, Mrs. Turner,” Fred responds. “And we are about to solve one of the universe’s greatest questions.”

  “That sounds interesting. What is it? How to make Blake clean up his bedroom?” Mom laughs loudly.

  Nice one, Mom.

  “We are looking for aliens, Mrs. Turner,” Fred responds. “Blake doesn’t think they exist, but I am absolutely certain that they are out there. There is lots of evidence that they might exist, but nobody has proved it yet. So I built an Intergalactic Communicator, which will allow me to talk with any aliens out there. I’ve sent a message into space, and now I will just wait for them to respond. I’m sure there are aliens out there, and I would love to be able to talk to one.”

  “That’s lovely,” Mom smiles. “I am so glad that you boys are so responsible.”

  “Yeah. Responsible for defending the world…” I whisper under my breath, so Mom doesn’t hear.

  Mom doesn’t know that I am a Ninja Spy.

  She thinks that I spend most of my time playing at Fred’s house, or doing my homework at the library, or walking our pet turtle.

  Walking a pet turtle is hard.

  Sometimes, it takes an entire day for the turtle to walk around the block. Luckily, I have a leash for him.

  It can be hard defending the world against evil when Mom still wants you home for dinner.

  “I met an alien once,” Mom says calmly.

  “What? Really? Where? When?” I am surprised.

  “Oh… wait… no, that was your first-grade teacher – Mr. Fartybottom. He sure did look like an alien, though.”

  Yep.

  I always did think that Mr. Fartybottom was a weird looking guy. And those big, beady eyes sure were strange.

  “But I did have a dream last night that I got into a fight with an alien,” Mom says. “He was big and ugly, and I couldn’t think of a way to defeat him. We were in a really intense battle, and he was so strong. It looked like I was about to be destroyed but then I figured out a way to defeat him.”

  “What did you do?” Fred asks.

  “I reached out and grabbed a rope to lasso the alien. I swung the lasso around and caught him. Once he was tied up, I flipped him around and around, and then threw him back into outer space. I was so proud of myself. I defended the world against the alien attack.”

  Mom is so weird.

  “Nice dream, Mom, but how could you lasso an alien? That is so dumb.”

  “Well,” Mom smiles. “I think it would work. Quite often, dreams can give you clues about how to solve a problem. So if you ever get into a fight with an alien, just remember that you should lasso them, and then throw them back into outer space.”

  I shake my head, “Ugh, you are so embarrassing.”

  “Fred, would you still like to come to the family photo shot?” Mom asks.

  “Oh, I just remembered something very important to do. I… have… to… um… wash my eyeballs with soap.”

  “Oh really?” Mom asks surprised.

  “Yes, yes. very important. I do it once a week, just to make sure that my perfect vision stays perfect,” Fred replies smiling. “It’s really important to have perfect vision for my science experiments.”

  “Maybe you should try that Blake?”

  “I don’t do science experiments, Mom. That’s not my thing.”

  “Your room is a science experiment,” Mom says.

  “Ha ha!” Fred laughs and then gives my Mom a high-five.

  “Don’t high-five my Mom,” I shake my head. “You are so embarrassing, Mom. Leave the jokes to me. There can only be one funny person in this family.”

  “You can be funny… funny-looking!” Mom laughs and high-fives Fred again.

  “How humiliating,” I mutter as I walk out of Fred’s house.

  “Bye Fred,” Mom waves.

  My Mom can be so embarrassing. At my basketball game last week, she came to the game dressed as a cheerleader with pom-poms and a sign that said, ‘GO BAKE.’ Clearly, she forgot the letter ‘L’ in my name, and the other team thought that she was telling them to go to the kitchen. Now everyone at school calls me ‘Bake’. Thanks, Mom.

  “Your friend Fred is nice,” Mom remarks as we walk to the car.

  “Yep. And a bit weird. He believes in aliens,” I reply. “I am completely sure that there are no aliens out there and that he will get no response to the silly message that he sent out to the rest of the universe.”

  Yep. I am completely sure…

  Chapter 3

  When we arrive at the mall, Mom makes me try on so many different suits.

  She wants the ‘perfect’ look for next year’s family calendar. Mom spends hours trying to decide which style suits me best…

  Um, none of them!

  “Somebody has to set the trends, Blake. You shouldn’t wear something because eve
ryone else is wearing it. You should have your own personal style. That’s very important.”

  “A leopard print suit will never be in style, Mom.”

  “Hmmm… yes. You are probably right about that one.”

  When Mom doesn’t find the ‘perfect’ suit, we leave the mall and go to her favorite shop in the whole world. The shop isn’t allowed to be in the mall and is at the edge of town. I have never, ever seen anyone else in the store except for Mom.

  The store is called ‘Ridiculous Men’s Fashion.’

  Mom says it’s a French name, but I’m not so sure.

  She often shops for Dad’s birthday presents here. Last year, she bought him a suit for his birthday, but he looked more like a balloon than a man in a nice suit.

  Just as I am trying on Mom’s latest choice of horrible suits, I look to the entrance of the store.

  And then I see her.

  Amy Cullen.

  The prettiest girl in school.

  Walking right past the shop where I am getting my new suit fitted.

  I am so excited to see Amy…

  “Hi Amy,” I shout, running out onto the street to say hello. “You look radical.”

  Agh!

  I meant to say radiant, not radical.

  And then I realize that I am still wearing one of the ugly suits my Mom was making me try on!

  “Ummm…. yeahhhhh…,” she says, looking surprised to see me.

  “Do you want to hang out? Maybe grab an ice-cream?” I say smiling, trying to look cool while still wearing the outrageous suit.

  “Ummm... Maybe not. I’ve got a… um… thing… to do. Over there.”

  “Over where?”

  “Over there…” she points into the distance. “Somewhere a long way away from here.”

  She moves a lot faster away from the store.

  Oh man.