by Jane West
I trembled over what the future might have in store for me. With mistrust bouncing off my shoulders, it was time to set my plan in motion. I needed to find a way inside Haven and to their files. It wouldn’t be an easy task. I was going to have to find a way to slip under their radar. I suspected the Family had me under surveillance watching my every move from afar. I was going to have to find a way to slip past their notice.
Another wrench in the plan, I reckoned any record of my child’s birth would most likely be encrypted. Their pain staking efforts trying to keep me in the dark wasn’t going to stop me. I’d bet my life on it that there was a paper trail.
My worst fear was if Aidan’s uncle, Van, had any part of kidnapping my child. I could only hope that my suspicions were wrong. But if I was right, God help him if so.
Something else had my mind baffled. Why hadn’t they killed me? Whenever the Family finished with their lowliest subjects, they guilefully eliminated any nuisance. They exposed of my mom. So why would they keep me alive?
Considering Dom’s theory, I seriously doubted they feared me. They were too powerful and imperious to be intimidated, even by their own creation, me, a genetically altered angel.
Last but not least, another mystery to throw into the brewing pot—the angel, Mustafa, who I shared DNA with, if he truly was evil did the apple fall far from the tree? Should I take Dom’s advice and stay clear of this angel?
On a more positive note could this creature be an allied, helping me find my daughter? Even though no one would ever take the place of Jon, my human father, this angel, Mustafa, might be of great help to me. No argument, I needed directions on how to embrace my inner angel. It might even be cool if we became friends or family. If that was such a thing among our kind. I wondered why he hadn’t ever tried to contact me. Perhaps the Illuminati wouldn’t allow it. I reckoned my guess was as good as any.
On the dark side of the coin, if Dom was right about this angel’s stance, did I want to take such a dangerous risk? I shuddered over that concept. I was beginning to feel as if my life was heading for another collision.
I sighed, thinking about my real dad. I wished he were alive today. He’d tell me what to do. No matter how hard I wished, nothing could bring him back.
Then that bar, Mephistz came to mind. Everything about that place screamed Déjà Vu the music, its seductive lure, like an intoxicating drug. Yet strangely, Jeffery didn’t hear a note. And that golden-eyed beauty, why the hostility? Maybe he recognized me. After all, I was a known felon. Though, I sensed my reputation had no bearing on his aversion toward me. Nonetheless, it didn’t matter. I had no plans going back to that bar.
I bit my bottom lip, thinking. I thought later this morning, I’d take a trip down memory lane to Tangi. I’d like to check out the empty field where Aidan’s castle once sat. I reckoned dropping by Ms. Noel’s was in order too. I hadn’t seen my elderly friend since that day I was taken. Maybe she could help. Ms. Noel had an uncanny way of knowing things which may lead me to my child.
***
By eight o’clock that morning, I had dressed in a white tank top and jeans, slipped on my sneakers, and threw my backpack over my shoulder before heading downstairs. Even though my trip was no more than a couple of hours away, I made sure I had everything I needed: a few snacks, water and a GPS system on my cell. Last but not least my trusty dagger, tucked in its sheath, strapped to my inner thigh. I couldn’t say why I chose a knife for protection over a TAZER or even a gun. I reckoned it called out to me. I found it in a little antique shop full of all sorts of oddities. The shop clerk even said he had other knifes like this coming in. He claimed they were rare and gifted. I had no idea what he meant. I liked the knife and I wanted the others that matched.
I paid the man on the spot. The cold steel wasn’t cheap but I didn’t care. I had to have them. At least it was some form of protection. I doubted the knifes would kill Helen or any of the Illuminati, but it might slow them down long enough for me to get away. Either way, I never left home without my blade.
I zipped downstairs to find Jeffery. I needed a favor, and I was certain he wouldn’t mind.
“I say HELL to the NO!” Jeffery screeched.
“You mean to tell me you don’t trust me to drive your Lincoln?”
“That’s right! I don’t let anyone drive my baby.”
“Have you forgotten...I bought that damn car!” Hitting below the belt often didn’t happen; however, sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
“Oh, now that’s just tacky!” My unyielding friend slapped his hands on his hips, staring me down. “The only way you is gonna get my car is if I’m driving it. No further discussion.” Jeffery glared back at me in a lock down stance.
Then it hit me. I‘d forgotten, I had money! “Fine! Can you take me to the nearest car dealer? I’d like to buy my own stinking car.”
Jeff rolled his eyes. “Miss Thang, do you even have a valid driver’s license?”
Damn! Now Jeff’s trying to parent me.
“Well, Mister, Fancy Pants...I don’t know!” I admitted. Then the fight halted, and we both burst into laughter.
***
After I renewed my license, Jeffery and I went directly to the nearest Ford dealership. With cash in hand, I paid the ear-to-ear-grinning salesman one fine price for one very special Mustang. This little sweet sports car fit me perfectly. I really didn’t care for those obscene luxury cars, and somehow, me driving one didn’t seem right, so I thought a cherry-red, rag-top Mustang would be the perfect middle ground.
Reluctantly, Jeffery didn’t want me trailing off by myself and getting into trouble. Of course, he knew how to drive a good point into the ground. In fact, his words would ring in my ears for some time.
“You got to be outta your ever lovein’ mind, boo! You rubbing your nose where it doesn’t belong at that haunted, vanishing-into-thin-air castle is plum stupid and insane!” Jeffery rambled in a fiery.
“I can handle it. I have to do this, and no, you can’t go! I have to do this alone,” I stood my ground with determination strapped to my hip.
“Fine! I don’t care much for driving your brand-new Mustang any ole how!” My friend pouted like a five-year-old.
“Wait! You won’t let me drive your oversize, slow-moving-heavy-priced-heap, Lincoln, but you expect me to let you drive my Mustang?”
“That’s beside the point.” Jeffery crossed his arms, refusing to see the correlation.
“It is the point! You’re not driving my car with the top down in your ridiculous satin, bold-pink suit, black bowtie, waving at all your high-society stuck-up bitches.”
“Now that’s below the belt. I’ll tell you like I tell Dom...you just ain’t got the flair for fashion like I do.”
Oh, Jeffery had flair, all right. I just wasn’t sure about the fashion part.
“Jeff, my dear friend...no one can do flair like you!” I smiled with an impish grin.
“You know, that’s right! Now may I take my friend for a test drive?”
***
Off I went down the wide open road with the top down, my hair to the wind, and the soothing sounds of the engine purring beneath me. It felt as sweet as milk to a suckling baby. The taste of freedom on the highway couldn’t have been more invigorating. Skipping out and finding adventure away from all my troubles seemed perfect for my ailment.
Nevertheless, I didn’t have the luxury of leaving for long. There were too many loose ends in my life. Sooner than later, I had to confront them. Time wasn’t on my side. I needed to investigate my imminent uncertainties.
I withdrew a pensive sigh, staring at the long stretch of highway. How did I wrap my head around all this? I felt so disconnected to a world I hardly believed existed. And worse, I was a stranger to my own child. I wish I knew at least her name. It might make it more tangible. I blew out a frayed breath. I must be crazy, wanting to dive in blindfolded over a child’s existence that hasn’t been confirmed. This could be a wild goos
e chase. By the same token, I had to seek my undying hunch. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try to find her. I couldn’t move on until I found the truth. I had no choice.
This wasn’t going to be easy. The Family wouldn’t like me digging into their affairs. After all, they took great measure, sending Helen to deliver a message, hoping to convince me to back off. The Great Oz had spoken. I laughed to myself. Since when did I ever listen to any advice?
Where do I start? Vital records, maybe. Most birth records were public. My gut told me that mine had been destroyed. So where did I start looking? If my calculations served me right, I had the baby nine months later from the date that I first arrived at that hospital. I must have given birth during heavy sedation.
Whatever drugs they used, it had to have been very potent to have kept me oblivious to my growing belly. Any memories of a pregnancy or giving birth, I drew a blank. Nothing. How could a woman not know she’d given birth to her own baby? Anger began to brew.
That family, through their entire existence, has brought nothing but death millions in their wake, and yet they continued to survive like a cockroach.
If they took my child, they will pay dearly. I would rein havoc on their miserable souls. I suppose that was the dark angel inside me.
***
Pulling up to the main gate of the castle, my mouth fell open. This couldn’t possibly be the right place. What once reminded me of a mighty fortress now lay before my eyes weathered only a gate swinging half off its hinges, creaking back and forth. It was as if it had been adrift for years. Even the paved drive had eroded with potholes and cracks. How could something so magnanimous turn to ruin so fast? It had aged far past its time. This couldn’t be natural. This had to be the work of dark magick. It reeked in the atmosphere.
As I inhaled the breath of caution, I drove past the entrance and followed the well-trodden path. When I reached the end of the driveway, I stopped abruptly. The most unnerving part of what lay before me was what I couldn’t see. Nothing but a field of weeds—no evidence of the castle nor its foundation.
“This isn’t possible!” I mumbled as I eased out of my car, combing the area for any unwanted visitors. The Family might not take too kindly to trespassers. I reached down to check my trusty dagger. Protection had become a necessary evil. I patted my dagger for reassurance.
I made my way over to the center of the vacant field where the castle once stood in its imposing glory. Golden broom-sedge and marigold flowers had grown amok up to my knees. No sign of life besides a squirrel or two stirring among the trees. I stood in the middle of a field of weeds, slowly twirling as in slow motion, taking in the whole panorama. I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Talk about pulling up root.” I grumbled.
I gasped as an icy breeze blew through my hair. This whole place reeked of eeriness. There was one more place I wanted to look at before I got the hell out of here. I waded through the high weeds trying to find the marked spot only by a few paces from the ancient oak tree that once shaded the rear of the castle. I kicked around hoping to stumble onto the same meddle knob, the door leading to the encrypted chamber. Surely it hadn’t vanished too. I got down on my knees yanking up thorny vines in the spot that I swore was where it had been last seen. Nothing. I sat back on my heels as my eyes raked over the soil. It was gone like everything else. I gathered myself to my feet, peering the stand of trees. I wrapped my arms around my waist as this terrible feeling of someone watching washed over me. Though no signs of anyone or anything stirring amid the brush, only a crow perched on a low branch of the oak, cackling. He seemed in distress as though my presence disturbed him. Oddly, I saw no other birds.
A rush of chill-bumps covered my arms.
Then it came to mind how terrified Sara became over the sight of a black raven. Looking back, there may have been good reason for her fear.
***
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough kicking up the dust as my tires sped away. Leaving that godforsaken place in my rearview mirror eased the tension in my lungs. I never wanted to look back ever again, but I couldn’t cast it aside just yet. I had a child somewhere out there. Until then, I was stuck in this world of peculiarity.
Next, I was headed for Ms. Noel’s place. I worried she might not be very welcoming. The last time we spoke, I’d stormed out of her house, leaving her to deal alone with Sam and Jen. Now I had a shady past. Folks were funny about people like me, especially violent felons. Even though I was innocent, in the eyes of the law, I was a hardened criminal.
Despite my past, I wanted to take a chance and visit my dear friend. It would be nice to see her pleasant smile again and catch up on old times and present too.
Setting aside my visit with Ms. Noel, uneasiness clenched my gut. The small house I once lived in only two doors down from Ms. Noel’s was a sore spot for me. Too many bad memories beseeched my mind. It was the last place I’d seen Mom alive. Facing my feelings over my mother’s death wasn’t something I wanted to confront. I felt responsible for her death. If I hadn’t asked Aidan to give her that stupid dust, she might still be alive today. A tear escaped, and I quickly wiped it away.
There were so many questions unanswered. Did Dom have the straight truth about Aidan’s involvement in the Family’s master plan? Should I have ever trusted Aidan? If he could leave out the crucial part about his longtime marriage to Sally, what else was he hiding? If the dead could talk what would Aidan say?
Did I ever think Aidan truly loved me? I did. I saw it in his eyes. He revealed so much through those deep blues of his. At times it was like gazing into a crystal ball.
Now the answer to that question seemed like light years away and I seriously doubted that I’d ever know the truth. Only he could clarify his feelings and he was gone forever. I had to accept the reality that I had no other choice but to assume the worse. The worse being for the sake of his family, he turned his back on me. So what good was a love like that?
I wondered why he died such a needless death. He was loyal to his family. Why would they dispose of him? Besides, the man knew how to take care of himself quite efficiently. He was an immortal. Aidan had walked this earth for many years, more than several lifetimes than any human. I was certain that throughout his long life, he had encountered a few life-threatening altercations and in the mist of doing so, he’d mastered skills in surviving. So then, what caused his death? Good question. With any luck, the answer might lead me to our child, or whether the toddler existed.
Then I thought back to that morning at the cottage, Aidan’s last words to me, a riddle, “Believe only half of what you see and none of which you don’t.” What did it mean? I drew in a harsh breath. All these unanswered questions were bringing on a pounding headache. My brain lately did nothing but swim in a whirlwind of confusion.
Funny, the one good thing that came from all this atrocity was that I no longer had the nightmares. When my freedom had been taken, the dreams stopped. Strange, I thought.
To be honest with myself, all these fairytales seemed nothing more than a twisted castle in the sky. Regardless, I had to keep my mind wide open. If I wanted to remain alive, I had to accept that there were dark forces lurking about, watching me.
Therefore, if I was going to hold on to the last shred of sanity, I had to push aside my disconcerted feelings for Aidan, bury them so deep within that they could never resurface. I needed all my focus on finding my child. Aidan was gone forever. Things were different now. The old Stevie died with him. The new Stevie was less fragile, a change for the better, I think. For the sake of our child, I had to keep my mind on the target. That meant steering clear of any distractions, including a moment down memory lane.
One fact that I’d take to my death was that the men in my life that I loved ended up dead. I couldn’t face another loss. It just wasn’t worth the pain. The heart was too treacherous for me. After all, it nearly killed me. I was dead on the inside. Death just had reached my heart yet. I almost welcomed that day.
Did I th
ink I’d ever trust another man enough to let him close to me? Could destiny have someone else in store for me? I hoped not. Aidan shattered my heart and there wasn’t any more of me to give.
***
Soon I turned the corner onto Saint Anne Street, a place I once called home before I was arrested. I slowly pulled up into the drive and put the car in park. I kept it idling as I raked my eyes over the old house. It had aged so much. Vacant and withered, the house appeared abandoned and weather-beaten. Weeds ran amok and the paint had cracked and peeled, exposing rotten boards. I exhaled biting my bottom lip. I had to go inside. I flew the door open and quickly jumped out. I feared if I hesitated, I’d coward.
My stomach churned as I approached the house. I noticed the steps leading to the porch were in despair. A couple of the boards had rotted in two. I eased around, stepping lightly until I reached the porch. I stood before the door. My hand paused barely touching the metal knob. I held my breath giving it a twist. To my surprise, the door creaked opened. My heart hammered as I forced my feet to move past the threshold into the empty room. I stared up at the interior stairs. I swallowed hard, rocking on my heels.
Before I realized it, I was standing at the threshold of my mother’s bedroom. The last time I’d seen my mother alive, she was in this room, sleeping off a fifth of Jack Daniels. She was distraught losing her boyfriend, Francis. He’d been murdered, his throat had been slashed.
Aidan was standing on the other side of Sara’s bed with a white bag in his hand. It was angel dust. A very powerful drug unknown to humans, fey gems crushed into a fine powder.
I froze, pausing as my eyes washed over the empty room. It was nothing like I remembered. The curtains were torn, half-way hanging from its rod. Between the cobwebs and dust, it appeared as though no one had ever lived in the house. All the furniture was gone just like the charm and warmth.