by Ash, Leela
And yet, that resolve was very hard to back up when she looked at him like that, her gorgeous body hidden away in a silky robe, her sparkling blue eyes gazing at him innocently as she let the door swing open just wide enough that he could watch her as she began to blow-dry her hair. She was acting as if nothing at all about the situation was strange, and he couldn’t help but feel the fiery surge of longing that awoke the sleeping beast within. The wolf was on high alert, pointing out every little detail about the girl’s radiant body, recalling the incredible details of her body. He had half a mind to take her right then and there and say fuck it all to their roles as Maiden and Guardian. It was all just a show anyway. Nobody really gave that much of a shit. It wouldn’t be like it was really a matter of life or death here. Nobody cared if she actually was a virgin or not.
But he knew that she was. Rhett couldn’t let himself betray her trust. Just because they were stuck there together didn’t mean that he could let himself get consumed by his own selfish desires.
Still, recalling the scent of arousal that afternoon when he had knelt to check on her and their bodies had touched, he had never smelled anything sweeter than the scent of her longing, and his entire body ached for her.
“Are you feeling better?” Gael asked, turning off her hair dryer and turning her stunning, inquisitive gaze onto him.
For a moment his mouth was too dry to answer. He had so many thoughts running through his head. How was he supposed to allow them to jump from his lips and desecrate what little trust they had been able to build for each other? It had only been a couple of days since they had met for God’s sake. He couldn’t just let the wolf have its way. They were meant to be in it together for the next month; an entire month of this painful longing. How the hell was he going to do it?
“Rhett? I asked if you were feeling better. Where did your mind go?”
Rhett looked at the girl and smiled in spite of himself. She spoke to him so familiarly, as if they had known each other for years and years already.
“Sorry,” he said. “I guess I got distracted. And you know, I have had better days. I ran into some people from Stonybrooke, that’s all. I have a bad history there…”
Gael nodded sagely, as if she understood without him having to explain anymore. He was deeply grateful for the little gesture and sighed heavily as she came out from the bathroom to allow him to prepare for bed.
“You know, I think you’re going to find what you’re looking for one day,” Gael said, her deep blue eyes sparking mysteriously at him before he closed the bathroom door, shutting him in with only himself and his thoughts before bedtime.
He was surprised to find her sitting in the hallway when he finished, slumped against the wall with her nose in a book. She had on oversized reading glasses and she looked up at him, her beautiful face shining even behind the bulky black frames of her glasses. The wolf stirred. She was the perfect woman.
He shook the thought away and smiled at her.
“Let’s get to bed,” he said, surprised by how natural it felt to him to speak to her so candidly. As they walked down the hallway, he could almost imagine they would climb into the same bed together and Gael would turn on the bedside table to finish the last chapter of her book while he kissed her on the forehead and fell asleep beside her…
He forced the thoughts away, watching her carefully as she climbed into bed and, just as in his unwanted fantasy, turned on the bedside light and covered her long, smooth legs up with the quilt.
Rhett sighed and walked over to his cot, turning to face the wall. He knew if he let himself gaze at her, there would be no rest for him that night. There were just some things that a man knew, and Rhett knew that with Gael in his life, nothing was ever going to be the same.
14.
The next week of the ceremony’s preparations went quickly and Gael found herself being whisked back and forth from the house to the encampment, where the elders spent an inordinate amount of time fitting her for gowns and feeding her strange foods that sometimes tasted delicious, and other times made her stomach churn.
By the time they were satisfied that her gown was just right, she had nearly believed she would lose her mind. They had her stand up on a large wooden crate, while the man who appeared to be the oldest among them squinted at her and took invasive measurements, pinning material here and poking her with a pin there, until the dress was complete.
It seemed to emerge out of thin air, because Gael never saw anybody there working on it. When she tried it on for the first time, Rhett was present, and when she caught his eye, he looked startled, almost as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. There was a heat in his gaze and suddenly, her entire body felt as if it knew exactly what it was he was thinking of… and she realized she was thinking of it too. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time.
“Are you ready for the rehearsal?” Rhett asked her one morning after they had shared another incredible breakfast together. She was really going to miss this man’s cooking in the morning. There was nothing quite like enjoying the blend of flavors that Rhett’s wolf-shifter senses managed to make with ease. She would probably dream of his cooking for years after they parted.
“I suppose,” she said quietly. The thought of parting from him, even for a short time, suddenly, and deeply devastating her.
Rhett looked at her strangely. “Is something the matter?”
When she looked up at him, her eyes were filled with hot tears. It wasn’t just the thought of leaving him though, she was overwhelmed. Everything with the ceremony had been a lot more demanding than she had thought it would be, and now that they were together and alone, she felt safe enough to let that stress out. And yet it was embarrassing. She wanted to be as strong as the other shifters were and keep her pain to herself. Wolf-shifters were especially stoic, never letting on they were in pain until it was nearly too late to do anything to help them.
“I don’t know. Nothing in particular. I think I’m just kind of stressed out.”
“I understand,” Rhett said softly, coming to her and helping her to her feet.
She felt her body ignite in flames as he wrapped his strong arms around her, and she knew this was what she wanted. No matter how bad the timing was, no matter how little she knew him, there was something in her that wanted him more than she could ever describe.
“I don’t know if you can,” she whispered, looking up to peer into Rhett’s eyes. They flashed menacingly and suddenly she was in the air, her body engulfed in a wildfire of hot longing as Rhett’s lips covered hers. He lifted her onto the table passionately, pinning her. The friction of their middles nearly brought tears of excitement to her eyes and she gasped at the unexpected pleasure of his touch. She wanted him. She wanted him there and now, more than she had ever wanted anything in her life.
Rhett’s stubbled mouth found its way to the nape of her neck and sucked and kissed it endlessly, sending another wave of pleasure crashing down around her. Gael was lost in the passion of this man’s touch, and reached out to undress him, her hands trembling.
“No,” he breathed suddenly, pulling away from her.
Gael was left panting on the kitchen table as he walked out of the room, running his hands through his hair and cursing under his breath. “I’m sorry. We just can’t do this. Not like this. Not now.”
“The ceremony?” Gael exclaimed, getting off the table. When she stood, her legs felt like jelly and she nearly fell over. “We don’t actually have to…”
But there was no convincing him. Rhett shook his head and kept his back turned to her, as if he were afraid to look at her again lest his passion take over once again.
“I can’t… and it’s not only the ceremony. You told me you’re a virgin, and I just don’t think that here... now… like that? I don’t even know if you love me. A virgin should love the first person she is ever with, and how could you possibly love me?” He turned to her now, his dark eyes flashing and tortured. “You don’t know anything abo
ut me.”
Gael watched helplessly as Rhett moved swiftly up the stairs and locked himself in the bathroom. She slumped down on the steps, put her head in her hands and let the hot, silent tears fall in earnest this time.
15.
As much as he tried not to, Rhett couldn’t help but begin to treat Gael differently after the encounter in the kitchen. He had wanted her so badly, and every time he looked at her the wolf within him stirred, anxious to take her for his own. Not only was that going against his job description, but he had a moral opposition now. He would never take the virginity of a girl who didn’t know for sure whether she was ready or not.
Gael seemed to be able to sense his change in attitude because she began to treat him more coolly. The atmosphere in the once pleasant house had grown aloof and distant and as much as he hated it, in a way he welcomed the change, fearing without it there would be no way for him to be able to focus on doing his job.
“Were you ever in love?” Gael asked him randomly one morning about a week after their tryst. Rhett paused, his mind considering all the female shifters he had encountered in his lifetime. He had been attracted to more than a few of them, but that didn’t mean that he had been in love. Nobody had awoken the wolf within him the way Gael had, but he couldn’t possibly tell her that. She would either think he was being facetious, or maybe that he was trying to get her into bed. Either way, he wouldn’t be able to trust his reality would be taken seriously and treated with the gravity he felt it deserved.
“No,” he said instead. “I guess I just never found the right person.”
Gael seemed to accept this, nodding slowly and turning back to her book.
He wanted to ask her why such a question was brought up so abruptly and deliberately when they had barely spoken to each other all week long. He supposed there were just some mysteries that a woman wanted to keep to herself, and even if she told him, he wasn’t sure that he would want to hear the answer.
They fell back into an excruciating silence, one that was finally interrupted by the shrill ring of the rotary phone sitting on the end table beside the couch where Rhett had begun to claim for himself as Gael had claimed the rocking chair. She looked so beautiful when she read. He had to tear his eyes away from her to keep the wolf at bay.
“Hello?” he answered, managing to keep his voice level despite the wolf’s agitation. Talking to Gael about his past love encounters had stirred the beast inside him, who never let a moment go by that would drive the point home just how much his claim on the girl meant to it. But he couldn’t let himself fixate on that. There were more important things to worry about and besides, if he didn’t take his role of Guardian seriously, who knew what might happen. The bear-shifters were very anti-technology for the most part, but if they weren’t he would have guessed they might even have cameras around the place just to make sure everybody was doing their duty properly and to the best of their abilities. The elders were a serious bunch, and he knew it was important to make sure everything was done by the book.
“Rhett, it is time for you to bring the Maiden to the colosseum.”
Rhett sighed inwardly. It was Shenar.
“There are a few key matters to discuss and a small ceremony we need both of you to participate in before the actual event. The time is coming near, you know.”
“All right,” Rhett said. “When do you need us to be there? The colosseum is kind of out of the way and the human can’t shapeshift.”
“Oh, we will give you the afternoon for safe travel. Just make sure she stays clean; the colosseum is a sacred space. It would be best if she did not have to touch the ground at all.”
Rhett gritted his teeth. What did they want him to do? Carry her on his back? The wolf seemed to perk up at the suggestion and Rhett tried to push it away. He would love to carry the Maiden through the forest, but she would never allow him to do so.
“I’ll just have her change her shoes or something,” Rhett said, unintentionally letting his agitation slip into his voice. “The terrain isn’t that hard. She should be fine.”
“As you wish,” Shenar said, though his tone was oddly menacing. “Though it would be truer to the texts if she were escorted properly. The Maiden is meant to be seen as pure. Although there will be some sacred cleansing, it is best if she is treated with the utmost honor and respect.”
“You mean practically carried to the colosseum, right?” Rhett said. Gael glanced at him, the edge in his voice apparently attracting her attention. He sighed. Couldn’t there be an easier way to go about this?
“Practically,” Shena agreed, his voice a little more jolly now. “But of course, that is all just from an old book that is not entirely relevant today. It is just for the sake of the Maidenhood. Although we do not use these ceremonies for the same reasons as the ancients did, the Maiden’s purpose is a symbolic one. She represents the purity of unconditional love and the innocence of true faith and optimism. Just think what it might mean to the girl to be treated with such an honor!”
Rhett had to admit, it would be nice for any girl to be treated like a princess. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt anything much to give in, even if it was a ridiculous demand. It was just the once. He wouldn’t have to be carrying her to the festival itself or anything. He would have to shift into his wolf form and walk beside her though, so that everybody knew that he was her guardian, and he would protect her to the death.
When he hung up the phone with Shenar, he looked at Gael who had torn her gaze away from her book and was watching him suspiciously.
“What happened? What do they want me to do?” she asked.
“They want me to escort you to the colosseum for some ritual thing about the Maiden and the Guardian.”
“Why were you so upset about that?” she asked, not letting Rhett’s eyes drop away from hers. She was intent upon getting her answers.
“They want me to carry you,” he said. “It just seemed a little bit extreme, that’s all.”
“Carry me? Like I’m some kind of an infant or something?” Gael asked, raising her eyebrow at him. She was kind of sexy when she was indignant.
“No,” Rhett said. “They wanted you to ride on my back. The Maidens in the past probably rode on their Guardian’s backs when they were in their bear forms as a way to keep them safe.”
“But you’re not a bear-shifter,” Gael said, frowning. “You’re a wolf-shifter.”
Rhett raised his bow at her now. “I know that.”
“Isn’t that a little more dangerous for you? Wolves are a little bit…smaller than bears.”
Now the wolf was livid and Rhett couldn’t have kept the next words in his mouth if he had the most self-control of anybody in his pack. “That doesn’t make any difference at all. You watch me. I can carry you the entire way and it wouldn’t be any different for either of us than it would be if you were riding a bear-shifter!”
Gael’s eyes flashed and the wolf suddenly seemed content that it had made its point and disappeared back within Rhett, who was left to fend for himself after the beast’s outburst.
“All I’m saying is, they want us to play by the book and it wouldn’t bother me any to take you the way they want me to take you. I can handle it, really You should probably get ready. Thy want us to get there sooner rather than later.”
Gael looked at him for a moment, her face resigned. At first he didn’t think she was going to agree to it but she surprised him by letting out a small, sad sigh.
“All right,” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”
16.
It was strange to bear witness to her first shape-shifting, especially knowing the man who was doing it expected her to mount his back so she could be carried off into the forest as if she were some sort of virgin prize. And yet there was something secretly thrilling about it; she had never thought in all her years she would be able to be so near such a powerful, primal event. Stepping into the private back yard of the house that had been designated for the Maiden and her
Guardian, Rhett looked at her with his eyes cast dark and she felt a deep thrill surge through her body. The transformation was about to begin.
Gael’s heart tremored as Rhett turned his eyes away from her and his face was clouded over by a faraway look. She could sense the power within him as it grew more and more intense, awakening from its deep slumber within his human form and beginning to course through his body as if it had always been there all along, if only he would ask for it.
His body began to grow, not shrink as she imagined it would, and tufts of deep black fur began to sprout all over his body as the powerful wolf began to take its form. Rhett’s limbs stretched and expanded and then hunkered down toward the ground as he became more canine in appearance than human.
Gael had never seen anything like it. On the estate, she had only heard and seen the things that had to do with bears; her father had been obsessed. She even wondered if he had only married her mother because it would bring him closer to his obsession. But now she was actually in front of a man as he tapped into the strange beauty of his truest form, she was awe-stricken.
Finally, the wolf let out a small growl and stretched before turning its deep brown eyes upon Gael. He walked to her and then stopped, as if to show her that it was okay.
He was much larger than she had thought he would be. Most wolves she had seen in captivity were about the size of normal house dogs. This wolf was about triple the size of that. He knelt before her, bowing his head to allow her to climb on his back.
Gael’s mouth became dry very suddenly and a nervous apprehension kept her in place. She had to try to calm herself down before coming anywhere closer to him. The experience had just been too overwhelming.
The wolf seemed to understand and waited there patiently, allowing her time to collect her thoughts and regain mastery over her body. By the time she finally did move toward him, the only thought in her mind was how silly it was to imply that she might crush such a creature. The only person in danger here was her.