by Sam Hall
"I…we thought you had Jules' best interests at heart. We thought you wanted to keep her safe. We thought you loved her."
"I…" Brandon let his voice trail away. His eyes dropped to the ground, and I saw his shoulders slump. I wanted to go over, cheer him up out of this mood, and make everything better, but I couldn't. In some ways, Slade was right—if this was our pack and the only thing that kept us together was my meddling, then we would never make it. We had to sort this out, and we had to decide to make it work.
"I do," Brandon said finally, jerking his head up. "That's the thing that none of you seem to get. With the information I had, I could have replaced the lot of you. I could've gotten on side with Jules early, steered her towards guys who would be easier to manipulate, who'd do exactly what I wanted, but I didn't. I loved her, before you even knew who she was, before you'd even considered taking a mate. I loved her, and did my damnedest to use the information I had to make sure she succeeded."
He scuffed the dirt with his boot and then straightened.
"I was the one that drove her back when she ran. I made sure the right antibiotics had been ordered when I brought her home. There were other black wolves that could have come through that night, they were supposed to, but I stuffed around with the rosters and made sure there were extra soldiers on deck. I helped Finn find her on her first mating hunt. I made sure you knew about the choosing hall."
"And what about me?" Aaron said, taking a step towards him. "What did you see of me?"
Brandon shook his head, forcing a smile, but it looked desolate.
"I saw us, both with and without Jules, and I was selfish enough that I wanted her at the centre of things." Aaron was obviously stunned by this. "Sometimes we were in a relationship when she came, and we ended up becoming her gay best friends. We were happy together." Brandon's eyes grew unfocused as he seemed to re-experience something we couldn't see. “Sometimes one or the other of us were in her pack, but it was always when the two of us were together that things went best. You're calm and grounded, stopping her and the others she's collected from going too far, and I help her keep everyone on track, until now." Brandon sighed, raking his hand through his hair. “I’m just as invested in all of your relationships with Jules as you are. I know exactly how important you are to her, and you all treat me like I’m some piece of shit you trod in.”
Aaron flinched, wavering slightly on his feet, then his eyes flicked up to scour Brandon’s form, as if committing to memory every aspect of his body. That seemed to tug him forward, his steps eating up the space between him and Brandon, and for the first time, neither man looked at me as one jerked the other into his arms. Aaron’s mouth was on Brandon’s, the smaller man’s hands flying up in the air in surprise before slowly, cautiously going around the other man’s back.
There’s a curious pleasure that comes from seeing two of your partners reunite. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched Aaron groan the moment Brandon’s hand landed, obviously getting what the other man was feeling down the bond. They were so fucking beautiful together as Aaron was the aggressor for once, his fingers raking through the other man’s hair, his tongue halfway down Brandon’s throat. I watched their muscles flex and smooth as they seemed to fight to get closer, like they didn’t want anything between them.
Including me. That was the curious part. A selfish part of me stung to see them unload on each other so thoroughly, even though I was the one trying to get them to talk to each other. I took a long shuddering breath through the feeling and just let it go. Going into this practice, I’d felt sure of the relationships between all three of us, and now I wasn’t so sure. That was the problem with Brandon, he introduced uncertainty where we didn’t want it.
Or did he? Part of me felt guilty for potentially keeping the two men apart, but I hadn’t, had I? Brandon had made his choice. I’d checked in with both of them several times to see what they wanted to do, relationship-wise, and keeping it an occasional sexual thing rather than an emotional thing was what they both stressed that they wanted. But perhaps not now.
I wasn’t totally sure how to get out of this inner space, but I started to feel around for a way to do so, to leave the two of them to it and give them the time to sort whatever this was together.
“No.”
All of a sudden, the two of them were right next to me, one arm around each other but their other held open for me to step within.
“Look, I think you need—” I started.
“I know what I need,” Aaron said, hooking me about the waist and making me the meat in a very nice sandwich.
“You’re exactly what we need,” Brandon said, nuzzling the back of my neck.
“We’re exactly what we need,” Aaron corrected.
He glanced over my shoulder, eyes on Brandon, and while I couldn’t see it, I could feel it down the bond. It rang like a bell now, pure and sweet. For this precious moment, we were together, completely together. I closed my eyes, resting my head back on Brandon’s shoulder, and just let go.
I began to see why Sylvan felt it was so important for us to bond. When we were all moving in the same direction, and the power I felt down our bond was immense. Could it be used in any real way? Would we be able to use it against the Volken or the Great Wolf? Would we end up with an adult equivalent of the Care Bear Stare, using the power of love to triumph over evil, and would I be the green one because that’s my favourite colour?
“That’s not letting go,” Brandon said, tapping me on the head.
“Heard that, did you? Look, I did for a second, which is like a world freaking record for me.”
“Ah, Jules, that crazy head of yours,” Aaron said, kissing the top of said cranium, and then he drew my lips up for something a whole lot more satisfying. They knew what they were doing, their hands roaming, their lips trailing. It stopped the Brain Train in its tracks and drew me right back down to Planet Let’s Fuck Now.
“Can we have sex in this inner space?”
As soon as my words were out of my mouth, the world shifted and lightened, the old spare bedroom in the honeymoon cottage reappearing. We were now lying on the bed, and everyone was naked. Aaron’s eyes blinked as he took this in, then he smiled.
“Mmm… I remember this place,” he said with a grin as he prowled over and dropped kisses on my lips, then Brandon’s.
“I assume that’s a yes,” Brandon replied, his voice a little breathless. His fingers tangled with mine, then he pulled me across so I lay on top of him. His breath hitched as I spread my legs, thrusting my hips back and forth in small movements and sliding along his length. God, that felt amazing. Like the most beautifully violent wrench inside, the sexual tension ratcheted up more rapidly than I’d ever managed in real life. My head dropped down and twisted sideways, my lips grazing his as I began to pant while he made the same sounds.
“This is so intense. Why is it so intense?” I mumbled.
“No reality here,” he gasped, his fingers digging into my hips. “You want to be turned on, so you are.”
“Fuck, so whatever we want to feel or do will happen?”
He nodded as I placed a hand on his chest and sent what I hoped was waves of desire through our link. It seemed to work as his jaw clamped down, his teeth grinding as his hips jerked upwards, trying to force more contact between us.
“You teasing our boy?” Aaron’s voice rumbled in my ear as his torso came to rest against my spine. My neck flopped as I felt the massive spike of lust spear through me from his side of the bond. I didn’t, couldn’t reply, as my body felt like it was on fire. I arched my back, rubbing my arse back on his rigidity, which just had his hands clamping down on me. “Stop that, you little minx. I’m already feeling fit to burst as it is.”
“But that doesn’t matter, does it?” I said between kisses. Brandon’s lips seemed to draw mine like magnets, pulling me closer over and over. He smiled at this, seeming to like the effect he had on me. I pulled away, narrowing my eyes in mock condemnation. I leant
against Aaron’s chest, his hands covering my breasts, fingers plucking, and his mouth found mine.
“What doesn’t matter?” he prompted finally. My brain stuttered as Brandon moved beneath me, his hand going to his dick, prising it away from where it was drawn up hard against his belly, then grabbing it to rub the head against my clit. Aaron’s lips felt like velvet on my shoulders, and my nipples pulled tight under his ministrations. “Jules?”
“What?”
They both chuckled as I stared at them blankly.
“What doesn’t matter?”
“Oh, coming. This is a psychic space. Whatever you can imagine, can happen. You guys can have multiple orgasms like a woman if you like. You can be hard again in a second. Reality doesn’t exist, so neither do refractory times or gravity.”
I felt the two of them still beside me, then reality upended itself. Rather than resting on one guy while another was at my back, I was lifted up into a swirling maelstrom of movement and sensation. Mouths went everywhere—kissing, licking, sucking, separating my folds and spearing a tongue inside, biting just firmly enough to send shivers down my spine. Fingers stroked, rubbed, flicked. Dicks pushed in or ground against my thigh. Then I heard the gasps. I couldn’t see it, but I felt it down our bond. The same was happening to the two of them.
How do I describe what it felt like? It should have been overwhelming, the pleasure wrought swamping my body and mind, reducing my consciousness down to a small point that hovered at the back of my skull and watched in awe. Instead, it was like a symphony. Our minds played these psychic facsimiles of our bodies like instruments, imagining more and more ways we could please the other, stirred on by the pleasure we created and that in our own bodies. Then it felt like the need to specify licks on nipples or hands on cocks fell away. Rather, we became bodiless. We hummed around each other, great clouds of pleasure spiralling higher and higher, until the intensity was almost frightening. I felt a few answering spikes of fear down the bond, and that seemed to bring things to a natural conclusion.
I guess I could call it a psychic orgasm, though that label seemed inadequate to describe it. But what else was it? Layers and layers of pleasure pulsed through us, bringing us down gently and taking all the searching, needing, and just releasing it. Then came a moment of the purest satisfaction, and when I opened my eyes, the world rushed back—the real one. We all stood now with our arms around each other, the feelings we’d induced together still making our skin twitch. We were in an alien world, under a purple-leaved tree, and just were.
When Brandon kissed me, then Aaron, and when he did the same, it didn’t matter whose lips were on whose mouth. I could feel their love, their desire, their pleasure as clearly as I could my own. For just this moment, we were in perfect accord. Then it was my turn. I leaned over and sucked Aaron’s plush bottom lip into my mouth, tasted the coffee and mint there, found my arms tightening as I sought to fill the smallest gaps between us. Then it was Brandon, tasting of nicotine and caffeine and smelling of sandalwood, and I drowned in him as he did in me. When we finally drew apart, there was almost an air of embarrassment for a moment. I shook my head.
“That was beautiful. It can’t last, but let's not…”
I was lost for words, but they nodded. They knew. They both straightened and met my eyes and each other’s head on. We loved each other, and right now, we were filled with that gorgeously insane belief that that would solve the world’s problems.
Aaron turned to me. “Jules, it’s customary to be with your mate on the night of the celebration.” I winced at that, thinking of how Finn and Brandon’s had gone. He shook his head, grabbing my hand and sending reassuring pulses down the bond. “I want Brandon with us.”
For a second, I just basked in that golden hazel gaze and felt the most immense feeling of relief. I didn’t know how I would get the others on side, but if Brandon had Aaron at least, then I could rest a little easier knowing he had that additional support. He is so strong, I thought, my eyes scanning that lean form covered in a worn grey t-shirt and some jeans, those grey eyes almost luminous against his brown skin. But I don’t want him to have to be strong on his own anymore.
He grinned suddenly, as he seemed to hear my words, his eyebrows twitching quizzically.
“Of course,” I replied belatedly. “But what about the two of you? You don’t always have to put me in the middle of things. I’d be hurt if you kicked me to the curb, but it seems like you’ve got stuff to explore between you.”
The stab I felt when I saw a light flare in Aaron’s eyes was both beautiful and terrible. I was a product of my conditioning, having been brought up to feel that that light should only shine for me, but I consciously put that to one side. I didn’t believe that people should do that, I only felt Iike I needed to. It was still there, just as bright, maybe even brighter, when the big guy looked at me. So, I watched his gaze seek Brandon’s with a happy if slightly sore heart. Brandon wasn’t quite as happy.
His face demonstrated perfectly what I had felt, but more, his eyes tightened, as if trying to brace himself against the pleasure-pain.
“I saw us, a million iterations of us,” Brandon said, his voice creaking with the effort. “It’s always Jules for me. It’s not that I couldn’t love others, but that she was always there, between anyone else and myself. In the reality where it was just us together, I smashed you.” His eyes darted down and then up again. “I ripped your heart out when Jules came to Sanctuary. I still loved you, but there she was, the one I’d grown up engulfed in. She was there in the flesh, living and breathing, and so beautiful…” He blinked for a second, a greenish cast filling his eyes. “For me, it’s always Jules, and everything else comes after that. I’ll give you as much as you want, probably more than you’ll ever want, but Jules… I made sure we never went down that track. I didn’t want to get involved with anyone because it’s always Jules for me.”
“So, you made sure I did too.”
Aaron’s words were gentle, there was no recrimination, but they were hard ones to hear. Brandon met his gaze head on and then nodded, a quick jerk of his head.
“It was the only way I could love the both of you.”
I think we, the whole world, held our breath unconsciously as we waited. When the sound of Aaron’s sigh came, it was the most beautiful thing.
“C’mere,” he rumbled.
Brandon and I both glanced at each other, not sure who he was talking to, so Aaron opened his arms and tugged the two of us into them.
“I have to remind myself you do this out of love,” he said. I heard the words with my ear pressed against his chest, so they reverberated through my whole body. Brandon pulled back slightly so he could meet Aaron’s gaze, and he nodded. “Well, as to Jules’ original question, if the only thing on the table is making love with two of my mates, I’ll think myself pretty fucking lucky. This mission, watching the two of you, it’s shredding my bloody resolve. I always thought I was a pretty staunch bloke, but I knew nothing until I got involved with you two. I feel like my fucking heart is out there in two pieces, walking around, getting in trouble with the local wildlife, looking so fucking vulnerable. I want to lock you both in one of the trucks and never let you out, just to give me some peace from this ache in my chest. But I can’t, because this is who you are. Jules will stumble into trouble, Brandon will be pulling strings from behind the scenes, and that’s the way it is. I’m a loyal bloke, I don’t let go of people easily, and I’ll love the two of you, no matter what. But if there’s any chance you could either avoid getting in trouble or tell me what the fuck is going on, I’d appreciate it.”
9
“Moonie,” one of the guys said, jerking us all out of the lovely little haze we were in. “One of the blokes shot what looks like a deer. We’re gonna roast it on a spit, and them other guys you brought reckon they’ve got some veg and bread to go with it.”
I felt the tension slowly rise in Aaron’s body, his spine straightening as he prepared to take on r
esponsibility again, but I squeezed his hand, and his eyes jerked down to me.
“We need a wash before this evening’s festivities, and you’re just gonna be worrying about us being eaten by some freshwater shark. The guys have it under control. Come with us.”
His eyes shone for a moment, and he nodded, turning to the soldier.
“You need me for anything? That deer thing OK to eat?”
“It’s on the approved list the miners left for us, and yeah, we’ve got this.”
“Alright then, I’m off to have a swim with my mates. Keep at least three guys armed and on sentry. Cooking meat might lure predators.”
Aaron gave the guy directions of where we’d be, at a pool he’d spotted just off one side of the river, a stone diversion in the flow creating a nice gentle current for us to bathe in. The soldier’s eyes took us in for a second, and then he nodded, heading off to do cooking duties.
I’m not ashamed to say I stood by the riverside with my mouth open, looking at the pretty flowers that nodded on the riverbank and the long twisty branches of several weeping trees leaning over as if to caress the water’s surface with its limbs. But it wasn’t the very nice alien foliage that had me standing there, hands still on my buttons, midway through stripping off. It was the boys.
The sun loved them, soaking into every golden inch of Aaron’s body as he shrugged out of his fatigues in a series of practised moves. His clothes dropped to the ground, as if happy to reveal the glory they customarily hid. Aaron paused for a moment when Brandon stepped free of his boots, and his hand automatically strayed to his semi-erect cock as the other man pulled his shirt off over his head, the tight muscles of his abdomen flexing and smoothing as he moved. Dicks are cool for more than just the thrusting, dragging against your g-spot, ‘fuck, I’m so full and I’m gonna come’ stuff. Aaron’s was out and proud, saluting Brandon’s specific gorgeousness with every steadily stiffening twitch. The boys would have to stick something inside me to see how I felt about them. Or I could just tell them.