by Sam Hall
“And will we walk away empty-handed?” Brandon said. His eyes darted around the group before he reached out for me. “I’ve got one vision left, something I haven’t shared because…well, I’m not sure if this will come true. It was just a fragment. I saw it often enough, but there was no link, no explanation of how we got there. I can share it with you, if you like.”
I wanted to say no. Visions and gods, ancient cities and rituals, I was sick of all this mystical bullshit. I wanted to live my life, not a fucking prophecy, but I saw Aaron’s arm go around him, saw finally what it cost Brandon to make this offer.
“OK,” I said.
“Hold hands,” he said, nodding to the rest of us. “Now take a deep breath in.”
“This isn’t one of those fucking yoga things—” Slade said.
“Do it.”
The command in Brandon’s voice had all of us taking a big breath in, and despite feeling much more in tune with Slade than Brandon right now, that same feeling of peace that comes from monitoring your breath washed over me, whether I wanted it or not.
“Close your eyes,” he said. “Then reach for it.”
‘What?’ I wanted to say, remembering the last time he’d said those words to me, but it took no effort now. It all came rushing in.
I was the sunlight, glancing, shifting, warming the earth, flowers raising their heads to catch my rays. I was the breeze, tossing and turning leaves and seed heads on the wind, tumbling, skimming over the earth’s surface. And I was a woman, wearing a long cotton dress that was pretty, despite the stains on the skirt. It kept my skin cool in the evening sun as it poured over the two of us, my child snuggling in tighter into my side.
My child? I looked down into that wrinkled little face, saw the dark tufts of hair on its head as it unconsciously rooted around, looking for food. I unbuttoned the bodice with a practised ease I did not currently possess, cradling the child in my arms as it nestled down to feed.
This version of me gazed at the baby with an absent eye, but I stared down at him or her, taking in every damn detail. My eyes stayed bone dry and half closed as we watched the baby suckle, but that’s not how I felt. A child? I hadn’t even had a chance to think about that, but as I watched, it all rushed in. If we survived this, we could have a family, a great tribe of kids running through the house, each one adored by their dads. And me, being a mother? It felt like a hand wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed.
“You OK, Jules?”
I looked up to see Hawk had come to sit by my chair, his eyes on me for a moment to check in before being inexorably drawn down to our child.
“Where’s Jack?” I asked, not framing the words, future me having sorted that one out. I sounded weary, my voice all scratchy.
“Oh, y’know him…”
Hawk didn’t finish the sentence and neither did I, as apparently, we were both able to fill the gap. I looked out over the sunny field, watching the flowers sway as our child fed.
This is always what’s driven me forward, Brandon said. No gods, no magic, just this.
Our child, I said.
Our child, echoed the others.
22
Leifgart, I decided, was ugly.
We hid in a stand of trees, just beyond the outskirts of the place. It was a helluva lot bigger than the city I’d seen in my visions, as it seemed to have fallen victim to urban sprawl. The main city was safe behind the walls erected on the edges of the massive plateau under which the Great Black Wolf lived, but outside it, down the slopes and in the valley below, were huge amounts of little shacks and cottages.
“For the servants and the farmers,” Sylvan said as I studied the place. “Volken don’t farm or sell goods.”
He’d come back, finally, with Hawk following at a polite distance. His social mask was firmly re-situated, and the rest of us were done pressing him. There was time for recriminations when this was over.
“But they eat and use them.” I shook my head. “So, if the Volken don’t live in these houses, who does?”
“Various members of different races that they’ve brought back through conquests. Many have lived here for ten or more generations. They were brought to serve the Volken, and so they do, generation after generation.”
“Why don’t they try to escape?” I asked, looking about us. There didn’t seem to be any soldiers patrolling, any garrisons, or any sign of Volken presence around here.
“Because the Volken don’t treat them especially badly, but mostly because their people won’t accept them back. If they’re caught harbouring fugitives, the Volken ride in and take all the healthy young males for work and rape the women to produce yet more Tirian. Better that these ones act as tributes and stay put.”
“So how do we get past without them alerting the Volken?”
“We don’t,” he said, waving a hand over his neck, and that reddish-tinged crystal appeared. “We won’t have to. They’ll help us get in unnoticed.”
“Unarmed and unprepared.” Aaron had approached as we were standing there. “You want us to just waltz in there and retrieve my men, our men from those bastards, with the assistance of farmers and servants?”
“Not unarmed. I have a cache of supplies in one of the houses,” Sylvan said with a tilt of his head in the direction of the buildings beyond.
“And where d'you get them from?” Sylvan just smiled. “The caches. You’re the one who’s been raiding them.”
“Not all of them, but yes, I saw what was needed and secured it inside one of the houses.”
“So, what’s the plan?” Aaron snapped. “If you’ve foreseen all of this, you know what’s going to happen. How do we get in and out without getting caught?”
“Non-Volken are barely acknowledged, and if they are, it's to strike them for some imagined infraction. We go in as servants. No one would question them going into the city, or the cells below. We get in, free your people, and then go.”
“That’s not a plan. That’s a statement of fucking intent,” Aaron replied. “Where’s the maps, the escape routes? Do we stick together, or do we have rendezvous points? Are we going to scout first, assess the terrain, then plan our extraction?” He looked at the lot of us expectantly, obviously unhappy with what he saw around him. “So, what, we just trust that ‘the Great Wolf will provide’?”
“Nothing’s changed, Aaron,” I said, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm.
He hissed at that and jerked back, but for a moment, I caught the raging torrent of fear and obligation that threatened to sweep him away. I ignored the tense set of his shoulders and replaced my hand on his skin.
“We started this with tiny numbers and only a handful of weapons,” I said. “The tactical vehicles would be awesome right now, but not especially useful. We were never going to be able to storm the gates, there’s just not enough of us. I don’t know if anyone actually expects us to succeed. They kept most of the soldiers back at Sanctuary, to defend the place in case we fail, which probably tells you something. The odds are against us, we don’t have the right intel or the right weapons, but does anyone want to turn around? We could be back to the gate within a week, and then go home. I could take us into the city, away from Sanctuary, and it's unlikely that anything would happen to us personally. We could find a nice place, shack up, have that baby.” My voice broke on that, but I forged on. “Or we can do what we came for, to try our best to get the guys out.”
“We’re getting the guys out,” Jack said with a shake of his head. “I wanna say no, but that’s what we’re doing, that’s who we are now, aren’t we?”
“I’ve gotta go in. I have to try,” Finn said. “It’s what’s keeping me together, that chance. The chance to see my dads…” He blinked and then looked away. “I know this is a suicide mission.” His jaw worked for a moment as he thought about that. “It’s why I was pulling away, putting some distance between us. It’s the only way I could consider doing this, putting the pack to one side, but that didn’t work.” He laugh
ed at that, but I saw the shine in his eyes of unshed tears. “Guys, we can do this. The mating, making the pack, it’s made me see what I didn’t want to see. We’re strong, crazy strong, as a pack, in what’s between each and every one of us. I know this looks bad, but we’re just gonna have to trust each other. Work together. Put to one side any of the bullshit that gets in the way of that. This is our watershed moment as a pack. This is where we show the world our strength.”
For a moment, there was only the sound of the breeze and bird calls and the view of my Finn, standing there in front of the pack, asking them to follow his lead. My eyes ached to look at him, it clawed at my heart what we were asking each other to do as well as seeing this Finn back online. I took his hand and felt it—that seductive throbbing sense of purpose running through him into me.
“All threads converge here,” Brandon said, eyeing Leifgart. “I haven’t had any new visions since we’ve come here, but what I did…” He glanced at me and then back over at Leifgart. “It always came down to here.”
“I’m with you,” Hawk said. “What they do in there…that ain’t right. I would never be able to sleep at night knowing we did nothing.”
“This is dumb,” Slade said. “Of course it's dumb, but it always seems stupid to rise up against the omnipotent bad guys. That’s what this place runs on.” His eyes scanned the hovels in the distance. “Fear. I’m with you, Aaron, one hundred percent. I want this planned out, I want contingency plans to save Jules at the very least, but…” He sighed, then scratched at the thickening scruff on his chin. “I don’t think we’re gonna get it, so what do we do?”
“Same as always,” Aaron said with a shake of his head. “The best we can.” His eyes scanned the pack before coming to rest on me. “I’m starting to understand that vision now, those guys and their pack just walking into the wolf’s mouth. I love you.”
He was facing me when he said it, but I think everyone sensed how broadly that statement was applied.
“Very touching,” Sylvan said drily, “but I can alleviate some of your concerns. We can’t go to my contacts until nightfall. I suggest we sit down, eat some of the food we found in the saddlebags, and then start going over as much of the battle plan as possible.”
There’d been some back and forth after that, as the guys nutted out the details. I sat down on a fallen log and watched the questions and answers fly—Jack and Slade hammering Sylvan for information and clarification, Finn providing direction about what to do, conferring with Aaron on every point.
And I worried. That was my full-time job anyway, wasn’t it? I rubbed at my face, wanting to interrupt, or draw Finn away and just roll my body in his to try and make his belief in us take root in me. But he was needed, they were all needed, and so here I sat.
My head jerked up when I heard footsteps, and I admit, something inside me twisted hard when I saw it was Hawk. I thrust my hands between my thighs to stop them from reaching out for him, but he came to sit by me and took my hand.
A welcome wash of calm filled me at his touch, and my shoulders finally inched down from around my ears. God, Hawk was like a warm blanket and the sea on a summer day all at once. He swallowed me up, stroked all my jagged edges flat, and then lulled me with his embrace. I turned to look at him.
“Thank you. I really needed that.”
“It’ll be OK, Jules. You needn’t worry. We’ve made it here, finally. We’ll get the guns, make a run for the guys, and get the hell out of here. Fuck, if the Great Wolf is on our side, maybe she can just open a portal for us, ferry everyone straight home.”
A stone of anxiety was dropped into the pool of calm he stoked inside me. I remember the way the White Wolf looked when Lonan only partially appeared, growling in defiance, but forced to run away in the end.
“And what’s to stop the Black Wolf from eating us whole? She helped us just now, and you saw him. Where we’re going, that’s his home.”
“Then we’ll do whatever’s needed. Strength comes from the pack,” he said. “Close your eyes, love.”
“What?”
He pulled me so I was straddling his lap, a million points of contact between my body and his.
“Close your eyes, quiet that chaotic mind of yours. We are your pack, Jules. Lean on us. Don’t sit here worrying yourself ragged. Give it up to me.”
How do I describe the way it felt as my arms went around his neck, when I buried my face in his hair? He was so easy to overlook, so easy to discount, with the other big personalities in the pack, but this was Hawk. He held the weight, the strength of a boulder, and that felt so odd as I clung to him. To be able to throw all my fears at someone, and have it provoke no other reaction than to draw me closer. Tears pricked at my eyes as he moved to take hold of me, with all of my teeming emotions battering him, and he didn’t move except to hold me closer.
“I love you,” I said. I wanted to say something eloquent, to try and honour how much I appreciated, needed his strength right now, but that’s all that would come out.
He smiled like I had given the most stirring of speeches.
“And for that, I’ll fight the fucking world to keep you safe, Jules. Every time.”
Then he stroked my face and kissed me, and for now, it was all OK.
I’d been in a whole lot of ridiculous situations since I came to Sanctuary, but none more than me trying to sneak into the Volken outskirts under cover of dark.
“Get that luscious arse of yours down,” Slade hissed.
“It’s down as far as it can go,” I shot back. “What do you want me to do? Get down on my hands and knees?”
“Later?” Aaron said, managing to move like some kind of extremely swole gazelle, getting crazy low to the ground for a guy his size. “Definitely, but right now, you need to get down.” He pushed a firm hand on my tailbone, then patted my aforementioned arse when it was satisfactory.
“Get down,” I muttered to myself. “There’s fuck all light down here and hardly any light pollution. They’re not going to see me.”
“Keep saying that,” Brandon whispered, taking my hand.
“What?”
“They’re not going to see me. Say it.”
The guys all paused, their eyes jerking to us when the crystal that now hung inside my shirt from a piece of string lit up. Mouths were pursed, ready to hiss something biting at me when it happened.
I’d felt this before, I realised, this fading. When you dropped into the background, your absence noted for a moment but soon forgotten as the more interesting personalities took up all the spotlight. There was the disorientating feeling when your reactions and input, no matter how minimal, had no effect on the outside world, and even when you tried to thrust yourself forward again, nothing happened. I blinked and glanced around me, feeling the reassuring weight of Brandon’s hand in mine.
“Where’d she go?” Jack hissed. “Where the fuck did she go?”
I smiled when I looked at Brandon, lifting an eyebrow in question. He nodded in response and then gestured for us to follow Sylvan. The Volken seer didn’t search for me, instead, he marched straight up to a house on the very edge of the settlement, walking between rows of sprouting crops to get to it. He didn’t crawl or slink like the others did, just walked up and knocked on the door, something that sent the guys scattering. The door opened, and an older woman peered back with a familiar face.
“Hello, Mum,” Sylvan said. “I’m back.”
Mum?
I strode up the path between the fields, Brandon beside me. The older woman’s face became clearer now that I was closer, the skin around the intense blue eyes more wrinkled, but the sharp bone structure and long black hair, heavily threaded with silver, was a mirror image of Sylvan’s.
“Why…” Her hand went to her mouth to cover the trembling lips, her eyes burning bright with welling tears. “Son, you shouldn’t have come home.”
“Of course, I should’ve. I brought reinforcements. Julie, Brandon, you can come out now.”
&n
bsp; He shot us a dark look over his shoulder as he hugged his mother to him. He stroked her back as we emerged, and it felt for a second like we pushed through some kind of membrane.
“Where the fuck did you get to, and who the hell…?” Aaron said, pulling up beside me, stopping when he saw who Sylvan held.
“That’s how he’s getting us in,” Finn said, hands on his hips. “He’s got an in with the servants.”
“This is my mother, Tsarra,” Sylvan said.
We stood awkwardly in Tsarra’s front room after introducing ourselves, and the men’s hulking frames seemed to make the place look smaller.
“Lovely to meet you,” she said, dropping a quick curtsey.
“You don’t need to do that, Mum,” he said, and I noticed the quick sidelong looks she shot him. She might be his mother, but she acted as if he was her superior.
“Of course not,” she said smoothly. “I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?”
“Mum, we don’t need tea.” Sylvan grabbed her hands gently, but the woman still went stock still. “We’ll get the supplies from my room, and then we’re going in. What’s the servant password currently?”
She nodded, not making eye contact. “It’s ‘leaping wolf.’”
“Thanks, Mum.”
He pulled away from the woman, and her hands went to her apron, getting caught in the fabric. “C’mon,” he said, gesturing for us to follow.
If I had ideas about the room Sylvan had grown up in, this wasn’t it. But then, as I looked at the threadbare curtains and small bed, I remembered he hadn’t stayed here long. Those memories I’d had of him being trained by the Volken… He lifted the bed and the floorboards under it, displacing what looked like a dummy box, then dug deeper into the soil to a much larger one. We weren’t going to be going in packing rifles, but that made sense, seeing as we were passing ourselves off as servants. He passed out handguns and ammunition, something that was rapidly catalogued by Aaron.