It had nothing to do with her wanting to stay close to Hank. Nothing at all. Liar, she silently berated herself.
“I like Damek. I like everyone here.” Beneath Craig’s words, Chrissten heard the thread of loneliness running through it. He’d been alone for so long. Was it any wonder her little brother wanted to stay where he’d been accepted and found such fascinating new friends?
Before Quinn could reply, the door to the stairwell opened and Hank stepped into the room. She had her back to the door but that didn’t matter. She sensed him immediately.
Quinn glared behind her, his dark scowl meant to intimidate. “We need to get away from here.”
“Why?”
“Why? You’ve already been through so much. You need to get your head on straight before you get involved with another male.”
Her twin wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t thought of herself, but she still rebelled against it. “Maybe I need to be here to figure things out?”
Quinn frowned and balled his fists on the table. “You slept with him, didn’t you?”
So much for secrecy. “So what if I did? It’s my business.”
“You’re my sister.”
“Exactly.” She was doing her best to keep her temper but Quinn wasn’t making it easy. “I’m your sister. Not your mate or your daughter.” She knew Hank could hear their entire conversation. Michael probably could too. But there was no stopping it now.
“I spent eighteen month searching for you.” His stark words and the anguish behind them bled her temper dry. Her brother had suffered as much as she had because of her abduction.
“I know.” She got up, went around the table and hugged her brother. “I know. And I love you for it and appreciate it more than you’ll ever know, but that’s behind us now and has nothing to do with the future.”
“How can you say that?” Quinn asked. “It has everything to do with it. You need time to yourself without being pressured by any males. And, make no mistake, if we stay here that’s exactly what you’ll get. They won’t be able to help themselves. All the males want a mate.”
“Maybe I want one too.” She spoke her deepest longings aloud. “Maybe I want one I choose this time, not one forced on me.”
“Oh, Chris.” Quinn stood and took her in his arms.
His hug was so familiar. How many times had they stood like this in their lifetime? Too many to count. But it was all changed now. Quinn had Bethany. She was his mate, his life. As for Craig… Well, her younger brother needed to have a life of his own, one that didn’t revolve around his older siblings.
She felt Hank behind her, hovering like a sentinel, ready to jump in and protect her if it became necessary. She pulled away from Quinn, but before she could say anything to Hank, her twin whisked her behind his back. She thought about kicking his ass but decided to see what he had to say for himself.
“We’re leaving.” Quinn’s statement was nothing less than a lie. They’d decided nothing.
Hank paled slightly, his body tensing. “When?”
“Soon.”
“Where to?”
Quinn shrugged.
Chrissten didn’t know whether to laugh or to hit someone. Honestly, couldn’t they talk in sentences consisting of more than one word? Quinn was baiting Hank for some reason only he knew.
“I’ll be packed and ready to go.”
Chrissten sucked in a breath. That Hank wouldn’t hesitate to leave his pack for her made her chest ache and made her love him even more.
“Who said you were invited?” Quinn snapped.
Enough was enough. Chrissten stepped around her brother before he could take this farce any further. “Your home is here, Hank. With your pack.” No way would she allow him to lose it. To werewolves the pack and family were everything. They needed that closeness, that sense of community, of being among those of their own kind. She knew she’d be lost without her brothers.
His hands were fisted by his sides when he turned to her. “Are you saying you don’t want me to go with you?”
She couldn’t lie to him and simply shook her head.
“Then I’m going.”
“Why?” Quinn asked. “Why is it so important?”
Hank squared his shoulders. “Chrissten is everything to me.” His gaze was steady. He wasn’t looking at her brother but at her. His eyes burned with lust and something else, something that made her heart race.
“What are you saying?” Quinn demanded.
They’d drawn a crowd as the others heard the slightly raised male voices. The rest of the pack stood around them now. Watching. Waiting. Bethany stepped forward, put her hand on her mate’s arm and shook her head. “This is something for Hank and Chrissten to discuss. Alone.”
Quinn started to protest, but Bethany wasn’t having any of it. “You didn’t allow anyone to interfere between us, did you?” That shut her brother up fast. He swallowed his frustration and glared at his mate. Bethany seemed supremely unconcerned. Chrissten was impressed with her new sister-in-law.
Chrissten wanted to be that secure in her relationship with the man she loved. She envied Quinn his mate, his good fortune.
“Chrissten.” Hank held his hand out to her. “It’s time we had a talk.”
She took his hand and let him lead her from the room. She could feel everyone’s eyes on them. Chrissten glanced over her shoulder. Quinn was scowling but Craig smiled at her. He even gave her a thumbs up.
She wanted to smile in return but was too nervous. This was it. Time to lay all the cards on the table.
Chapter Nineteen
Hank wanted to scoop Chrissten into his arms and run away with her. Damn brother of hers was doing his best to keep them apart. Not that Hank could blame him. If Chrissten were his sister he’d probably be doing the exact same thing.
Scratch that. He wouldn’t have shown as much restraint. He’d probably take the guy out back and given him a beating for sleeping with his sister so soon after her ordeal.
He hadn’t forced Chrissten or pressured her to do anything, but Quinn might not see it that way. Hank would bet his favorite rifle on it.
They walked up the stairs and into Hank’s apartment. It was spartan and brown, not inviting at all. He’d never noticed that before. All he needed was a place to lay his head at night and store his stuff. Looking at it from Chrissten’s point of view it was pretty grim.
He could fix that. She could do anything she wanted to the place. He didn’t care if she painted all the walls pink and covered the furniture in flower prints. Not as long as it made her happy. That’s assuming he could get her to stay, which wasn’t likely. Not with Quinn wanting to get out of town.
Not that he could blame the guy. Chicago held a lot of bad memories for both him and Chrissten. So it looked like he was leaving.
There was a soft, welcoming bed only a few steps away, but he stopped in the living room, which contained a battered brown leather sofa and a flat-screen television. A thrift store coffee table and pole lamp completed the room.
It screamed man cave.
He released her hand and wandered over to the window and stared out at the city. He’d miss it when they left. Chicago had become home to him. It was the place where he’d first truly discovered himself and made a life, a home with people who understood him.
He turned and found her standing just inside the doorway where he’d left her, arms crossed over her chest. She looked tired and he had to resist the urge to take her to bed so she could rest.
“I’ll be ready to leave when you are.” He wanted her to understand she wasn’t leaving town without him. “I’m not going to pressure you, but I’m not leaving you vulnerable to attacks from other rogues. Not again.”
“I’m not your problem,” she countered. Her arms fell to her sides and she began to pace across the room.
He tracked her with his eyes. She had such long legs, perfect for wrapping around his thighs when he made love to her. There was so much strength in her even though
she was still too damn thin.
“Thank you for rescuing me. Again. But you have your own life.” Chrissten kept pacing, her strides getting faster and faster.
“My place is with you.” Shit, none of this was coming out like he’d imagined it would. He wanted to woo her with the right words, but he didn’t have them. He wasn’t a talker. He was a man who took action.
“Why?” She speared him with her glare. “Tell me why.”
He dragged a hand over his scalp, feeling the brush of his short hair. He cupped the back of his neck and huffed out a sigh, trying to order his thoughts. “From the first moment I heard about you from Quinn, something about the way he talked about you caught my attention. Then I caught your scent in the first location.”
“My pillow.” Her voice was soft and unsteady. She stopped pacing and sank down on the arm of the sofa.
“Yes, your pillow.” The one that was currently on the top shelf of his closet. “I felt something in here.” He touched his heart. “I can’t explain it. I only knew I had to find you.”
“And I’m grateful for that.”
“Fuck.” He went to her and sank down onto his haunches in front of her. “I don’t want your gratitude. What I want is a chance. I know you’ve been through a huge trauma. You were kidnapped, beaten and worse. You just got rid of a mate you didn’t want. I know you have to figure out your life and deal with a lot of stuff. But I want to help you. I want to be there when you’re ready to think about letting another male in your life.”
She gave him a wry smile. “We’ve had sex together, Hank. I think you’re already in my life.”
He gripped her leg and gave it a light squeeze. “As much as I love the sex, baby, I want more than that.”
Her leg muscles tensed beneath his palm. She was practically vibrating with anxiety. “What? What do you want?”
He took both her hands in his. They were large hands for a woman, but still feminine and slender. She’d tried to protect him from Brian. Had put her life in danger for him. Such strength was to be admired. But if she ever did something that crazy again he’d, he’d… Crap, there wasn’t much he could do. He knew he’d never lay a hand on her in anger.
“I want to be the one you turn to in the middle of the night, the man you talk to about everything that’s on your mind, the one you wake up beside every morning. I have no idea how long our lifespan will be because we’re half-breeds, not pureblooded werewolves. Whatever time we have, whether it’s fifty years or four hundred years, I want to spend it together.”
He brought her hands to his lips and kissed her palms. Her skin was warm and fragrant with the flowery perfume of her soap. Her wrists were free of bandages, the skin almost totally healed. He kissed the faint scars one by one.
He wouldn’t be happy until they faded away, like the memory of her ordeal. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, that she would always carry the mental and emotional scars of her abduction, but he wanted to heal them as much as they could be, to give her new memories to replace the old ones.
“I recognized you the moment I first saw you—your spirit, your beauty, your soul. You were meant to be mine, Chrissten. My mate. I know it’s too soon to talk of such things, but I’ll wait. I don’t care how long it takes. All I want is a chance.”
His gut clenched. What if she didn’t want any reminders of her ordeal? What if she wanted a fresh start, which included leaving him behind? He’d have to be man enough to give her what she needed even if it might kill him in the process.
“Whatever you decide,” he added when she remained silent. “I know I said I’d follow you, but I won’t if you really don’t want me to. I won’t like it, but I’ll do it. The last thing I want to do is frighten you or make you uncomfortable. But, baby, I’ll be here waiting for you if you change your mind.” This pledge was torn from his lips. He was making the ultimate sacrifice for her. The thought of not being with Chrissten was tearing him apart inside. His heart squeezed tight and his eyes burned.
“Oh, Hank.”
He couldn’t tell if that was a good “Oh, Hank” or a bad one. He shrugged. “You’re the one for me, Chrissten. I could lie or try to put it in pretty words, but that’s not me. I’m a soldier, a blunt man who is more comfortable doing things than talking about them.”
“You’re doing fine,” she assured him.
He gave a bark of laughter. “I feel like an idiot. I sound more like a potential stalker than a potential mate.” He stood and released her hands. It felt like he was chopping off one of his own limbs.
“I tend to be possessive of those I care about. I’d probably drive you nuts making sure you eat right and get enough rest. I like to be in control. I guess it’s because I felt so out of control in the early part of my life.”
He had to get out of here before he really started to beg. Pride didn’t matter. Not with Chrissten. But he didn’t want to pressure her either. “I’ll get out of the way and let you think about things.” He started for the door. Each step was like a silver spike in his heart. It was killing him to walk away from her.
He got as far as the door when she called his name. He turned his head and studied the beautiful picture she made standing in the middle of his living room. Her long hair was free of all restraint. Like liquid gold, it flowed over her shoulders, framing a face that made his heart ache.
“Why? Why do you want to mate with me?” She linked her hands together in front of her as though she didn’t quite know what to do with them. “I’ve had a lot of things done to me and they weren’t pretty.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Fury bubbled up inside him. Everyone responsible for her ordeal was dead, but that didn’t still his anger at what they’d done to her. They beaten her, experimented on her, raped her, but they hadn’t broken her luminous spirit. If anything, what she’d gone through had only served to make her stronger, like steel tempered in fire.
She shrugged and picked at the ends of her top, not meeting his gaze. “Doesn’t change what happened. I’ve got a ton of emotional baggage to deal with, a brother who is human and a twin who figures he’s the boss of me.”
Hank slowly walked back to her, drawn by the sadness radiating from her. He caught the bottom of her chin with the edge of his hand and raised it until her eyes met his. The color was so pure it was almost startling. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to them. They were so expressive, so vivid. They truly were the mirrors to her soul.
“I’m here to help you deal with the trauma. We can get you outside help if you need it. There are people who specialize in counseling women who have gone through similar traumas.” He rubbed his thumb over her jaw line. “I like Craig. Human or not, he’s a good guy. As for Quinn…” Hank shrugged. “He can be a pain in the ass at times, but he loves you more than life itself. He gave up almost two years of his life, infiltrated a group of paranormal bounty hunters and faced purist werewolves who would have killed him in a split second. And he did it in order to find you. I respect him for that.”
She caught his hand in hers, stilling the motion. “But how do you feel about me? Really?”
He turned his hand so he was holding hers and lowered it until it was over his heart. “You’re the reason my heart beats, the reason I was born. I know that in my soul. We were meant to be together. I love you, Chrissten. I didn’t want to say it before because I didn’t want you to feel pressured to return that love if you didn’t feel it.” He tried to lighten the mood. “Plus, I’m a guy. We try not to say things like that unless we absolutely have to.”
Her expression was solemn and he felt his entire life slipping away from him.
“That’s unfortunate,” she began. His heart cracked and began to splinter. “Because I’m the kind of women who needs to hear it a lot.”
He looked at her, trying to figure out if she was saying what he thought she was saying. She nodded at him and smiled. “Oh, Hank. I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you. I just didn’t know what it was I was feeling. I final
ly admitted it to myself when I thought you were going to die in front of me.”
Hank yanked her into his arms and held on so tight he knew he had to be hurting her, but she didn’t complain or try to pull away. No, his Chrissten just pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around him. He buried his face in her shoulder, trying to control the explosion of emotion inside him. His eyes burned with unshed tears and his muscular body quivered.
Chrissten loved him.
It didn’t matter what happened from here on, if they moved away or stayed in the city. As long as they were together he was happy.
He pulled back. “You’ll let me stay with you.”
She nodded. “Yes.” Her hand snaked around the back of his neck and she yanked him toward her. Their lips met and he tasted the promise, the passion on them. He devoured her, tasting and taking, savoring and giving. She fit against him perfectly, as if they’d been made for one another. And Hank truly believed they had been.
Chrissten was shaking, her knees weak as Hank continued to kiss her like there was no tomorrow. For the first time in a long while, she felt like there was a tomorrow, a future to look forward to.
Hank loved her. She let the words roll around in her mind and warm her heart. Hank loved her. When he’d listed his faults and started to leave she’d wondered if he’d truly meant what he’d said about wanting to be with her. She’d found the courage to ask the one question she had to know the answer to. And he’d answered even though it made him vulnerable to her.
He’d put his heart on the line and told her he loved her.
Chrissten’s wolf howled and the deep cavern of doubt inside her began to close. She knew she’d have emotional problems in the future. She’d have to come to terms with the kidnapping and the abuse she’d suffered.
She’d shoved the memories aside since her rescue, refusing to think about them, instead focusing all her attention on getting strong and killing Brian. Now that the threat was gone, she had no choice but to face her horrible past. It was time to deal with it and put it behind her. Hank and her family would help her. Every day she was feeling stronger and more able to cope.
Finding Chrissten: Legacy, Book 5 Page 22