by James, Sandy
“Don’t you pick on him.” Katie wagged her finger at Sam. “He had every right to go back. I’d have taken the money too.”
“Are you bi-polar? ’Cause I can’t tell if you’re mad at him for leaving or mad at me for being pissed at him for leaving.”
“Both!” Katie stood up and paced the room as she railed. “It’s just not fair. I can’t even sleep unless I use his pillow ’cause it smells like him. Every place I look, he’s there. The barn. My room. Everywhere.” Some of his clothes remained tucked into the drawers next to hers. His razor still sat side by side with hers in the shower. Her heart clenched as pain washed over her. Her hands dropped to cover her stomach, and she knew a part of Seth would always be in her life. But she wanted him to share this new life, this miraculous child with her. I love you, Seth. How could you leave me?
Sam nodded.
Katie straightened her spine. “Does he think I’ll take him back in five years? Well, he can kiss my ass. No way I’ll take him back. I’d never know if he loved us or the money best.”
“You didn’t tell him, did you?” Sam finally asked in a quiet voice that helped Katie find some calm.
Katie stared at Sam for a moment before she sat back down. “No. No, I didn’t. And I’m glad. He’d hate us if he knew. You know what the worst thing is?”
Sam shook her head.
Katie closed her eyes and let her anger ebb. “I still love him. God help me, I do. With all my heart. I always will.” She couldn’t push aside her feelings for him. No matter what he’d done, Seth would always be the love of her life.
Why does love always leave?
Sam brushed away the tears that pooled in her eyes. “What do you wanna do now?”
Katie lifted her chin and tightened her resolve. “I’m going to run my stable. I think I’m going to ditch some of the horses. I’ve got Spun Gold, and I can keep the horses I have with James and Susan. They pay their bills. You know, if Gold finishes fifth or better, he’ll be in the finals for sire stakes.”
“What do they go for? Fifty grand?” Sam whistled her opinion of the size of the purse. “That would get you set for the time you can’t work because of the baby. You know, you could always move in with Brian and me. We’ve got room.”
Katie shook her head before Sam even finished. “Thanks, Sam, but I need to be on my own. Plus, you’ve got your own baby on the way. You don’t need me hanging around. You know, if Gold wins, maybe I can buy that land out by your farm.” She finally confessed her last secret. “I’m supposed to get a hundred-thousand from Sterling Remington’s estate for taking Seth. God help me, Sam, but I don’t want it.”
Sam’s eyes showed her surprise. She whistled again. “You earned it, Katie.”
“If I took it, I’d feel like a whore.”
Sam shook her head. “That’s bullshit thinking. You didn’t earn it on your back, and you damn well know it. You earned it for helping him. And you did, Katie. You helped him.”
Katie stared to tear up again. “Not enough.”
“Do you have the money now?”
She shook her head. “Not for a few weeks according to Ross.”
“Fine. Don’t think about the money right now. Think about your stable.”
Katie sniffed back tears and nodded. “And the sires stakes.”
“And the sires stakes.”
It appeared that Brian and Chris had grown impatient when the women heard the tentative knocks on the door. “Come on in!” Sam yelled. Brian worked through the door on his crutches and settled next to Sam on the bed. Chris simply stood in the doorway, looking subdued.
“You okay, Katie?” Brian asked. Then his face contorted. “I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t gotten hurt—”
Katie wasn’t about to let that nonsense go on for a moment longer. “Stop it, Brian. It’s nobody’s fault.”
“Do you need me to come back?” Chris asked.
“No, I’m good. Thanks, guys. You don’t know how much it means to me that you’re here.” Katie stared at her friends for a moment before realizing that she needed their love and support every bit as much as the air she breathed. The time had come to share the entire story with the men so that they could absorb the shock and then be there for her in her time of need. She owed them the truth.
Katie glanced at Sam for a moment, and her friend must have understood. Sam nodded and let a weak smile cross her lips.
“Guys, I need to tell you something,” Katie said, barely above a whisper.
They both looked at her.
She sighed. You can do this, Katie. They won’t hate you. “I’m pregnant.”
The two men gawked at her with wide eyes for several suspended seconds.
Brian threw his crutches across the room. Chris kicked the doorframe.
Katie tried to calm them. “C’mon, guys. It’s not that bad.”
“I’ll kill him,” Brian said through clenched teeth.
“Kill him? Hell, I’ll geld him,” Chris added as he punched his fist into his hand.
“That bastard left you, knowing you were pregnant?” Brian shouted.
“I didn’t tell him.” Katie wanted to cry again, fearing that she’d probably destroyed any fondness the men had ever had for Seth. “He didn’t know. I didn’t want him to lose all that money because of us. I couldn’t force him to stay.” He didn’t want to stay.
“Stop it, you two,” Sam scolded. “You’re not helping her by getting all pissed off and acting like damned cavemen. Can’t you just give her some support? We’re her family.” She stood up and walked across the room to hug Katie.
Brian watched the women for a moment before he struggled to his feet and hopped on one leg over to wrap his arms around Katie and Sam. Chris followed suit on the other side, completing the cocoon of a hug. The four friends clung to each other for a few moments.
Jacob came strolling into the office and gaped at the tight embrace of the group before he finally smiled. “You folks should really get a room.”
* * * *
After a wave of morning sickness, Katie shakily emerged from the bathroom. Kevin sat in her desk chair and had parked himself directly in front of the bathroom door. She couldn’t possibly avoid him any longer.
“Sweetheart, I do believe it’s time for that talk.”
She felt trapped and more than a little embarrassed. “Grandpa, I really don’t want to—”
“Kathleen, I don’t care what you wanna do. Are you pregnant?”
She nodded and stared at the floor, unable to bring herself to meet her grandfather’s eyes.
“What are you gonna do?”
Katie walked past him to sit on the bed as he swiveled his chair and continued to watch her with those intense green eyes—the eyes he’d always used during her childhood to stare holes through her whenever she had been naughty. “I’m not sure yet. I do know that I’m going to cut down on my stable.”
He nodded. “That’s wise, but you know that’s not what I’m asking. What are you gonna do about your... situation? You know, you can always come home.”
“This is home. I need my friends. I need Sam. I love you, Grandpa, but I’m a big girl now,” she explained while feeling great relief at his apparently calm acceptance of her pregnancy.
“I understand. Are you gonna ask that goddamn bum for help?”
Katie vigorously shook her head. “No way. I don’t want him to know.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell Kevin about the bonus.
“I can’t say as I think that’s entirely the smart thing to do.”
“What if... What if he wants the baby?” She finally admitted the one fear that threatened to swallow her whole.
He looked shocked. “You’re afraid he’ll take the child away?”
Katie hadn’t realized she was gripping the blanket with white knuckles until she let go. “He’s got all that money, Grandpa. If he knows... He might think he could give the baby a better…” She shook her head.
She saw the un
derstanding in his eyes. “His money can’t give this baby anything that would replace its momma. We’ll protect you. Somehow.”
Keeping the news from Seth wouldn’t be an easy task, especially if he watched racing, but she nodded and sniffled. Perhaps if she simply ignored the problem... “Thanks, Grandpa.”
“You’ll let me know if you need help? I want you to see a doctor.”
“Yeah, I will. I’ve got an appointment with Sam’s in a few days.”
Kevin still appeared concerned. “Do you need money, Kathleen?” She winced at the name.
“No, I’m good. Look, Grandpa, I’ve got stuff to do,” she lied in hopes of ending the humiliating conversation.
Kevin nodded. “I can tell from that look on your face that you’re done talking, but promise you’ll let me know if you need me, if you need anything at all.”
Katie nodded and ran out of the room.
* * * *
Few reporters still hung around the end of the frontage road near Katie’s barn. Most must have realized that long distance shots of Katie doing nothing more than sitting in a jog cart and spinning mile after mile were wasted footage. One by one they disappeared.
She arrived at Dan Patch Raceway several days after Seth’s disappearance, and she wasn’t surprised to see that only one reporter still remained camped outside the track. How nice to know that it only took a handful of days for her to become old news.
As she led Heathcliffe to the paddock, Katie was relieved to see that most things appeared to have returned to normal. People who usually waved or called a greeting still did so, and she returned the words or gestures. What a comfort to be among the familiarity of the track and its inhabitants—both human and equine.
Katie walked back up the long paddock toward the race office to deal with her last late driver change and suddenly found herself face to face with Rachel Schaeffer. The woman grinned like a Cheshire cat. Maintaining much more control than she felt, Katie pushed past her to talk to the officials. When her business ended, she strode purposefully out of the office without exchanging a word with the troublesome woman.
After a few moments of holding her head high, Katie sprinted to the bathroom where she cried and vomited at the same time. Seth Remington and Rachel Schaeffer—the causes of her distress. Damn them both.
Katie walked out of the bathroom to find Rachel standing outside the door, leaning against the wall and obviously waiting for her. “So he left, huh? Such a shame,” Rachel said with an evil smile and a “tsk tsk.”
The only thing keeping Katie from pulling Rachel’s hair out by the roots was the fear of something happening to her baby in the ensuing brawl. Otherwise, she would’ve gladly risked the suspension. “What’s it matter to you anyway? It’s not like he ever gave you the time of day.”
“But I got him in the end, didn’t I?”
“Go to Hell, Rachel. I don’t believe for one minute that he did anything with you.” Katie worked up some bravado. “How’d you trick him into your truck?”
Rachel’s face suddenly registered surprise. “How’d you know we didn’t—?”
“I didn’t know for sure. But thanks for telling me.” Katie turned to walk away. Seth had been faithful. At least where other women were concerned. He’d certainly left quickly enough when money was involved.
Rachel laughed in an eerie, grating tone. “I got the last laugh, though, didn’t I?”
Katie turned back to face her adversary and narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I’m the one that called The Tattler. How about that Miss High and Mighty? Now, he’s gone. And you can’t have him! I win!” Rachel shouted.
People around the paddock stopped to stare at the two women, and voices could be heard discussing Rachel’s outburst. In only a few moments, several people had gathered behind Katie to yell at Rachel.
“You ain’t working for me anymore!” a familiar voice shouted.
“You’re the one that ratted him out? Do you know how much trouble you caused?” another voice rang out.
“Look at the mess you made! Don’t bother paddocking for me on Friday!” another trainer bellowed.
Katie’s favorite comment was the simple “Bitch!” that reverberated off the walls.
The horsemen always supported their own, and they were letting Katie know that she and Seth belonged with them. Rachel had forfeited any goodwill she had with the people at Dan Patch Raceway when she hurt their friends and took away their star driver.
Katie allowed herself a smug smile as she crossed her arms over her breasts. “I’m sure Sam and Brian won’t be needing your help anymore, either.”
Rachel sputtered for a moment before she evidently decided retreat was the best course of action. When she stalked out of the paddock, several people applauded.
Katie allowed herself to smile before she nodded and waved to friends as she made her way back to her horse.
* * * *
The mansion was spotless. Nothing had really changed from the time Seth had left that cold March morning.
Nothing except him.
The first day he returned, Seth had actually enjoyed all of the luxuries.
There was the shower. It didn’t turn frigid because Katie had used up the precious small amount hot water. Then he remembered making love to her in that tiny shower stall and felt his heart clench in pain.
The quiet was nice. At least at first. It became too hard to sleep without the lullaby of the horses bedding down in their stalls, the drone of the air conditioner, or the sounds of Katie sighing and talking softly in her sleep.
And the bed was big enough to hold one or two of the racehorses. It seemed firm and comfortable—until Seth felt lost and alone in its magnitude.
The music was better. No more goofy love songs that made Katie sing. When he heard her melodious voice echo through his memories, his stomach tightened.
The luxuries had obviously been worth the sacrifice of leaving Katie behind. At least that’s what Seth told himself to keep from falling to a heap on the floor and bawling like a baby.
Seth found himself a stranger in his own home. The staff had all been let go when Ross took over the care of the compound. There wasn’t a single face that Seth recognized.
But one face haunted him day and night. A face full of sunshine and happiness with emerald eyes and framed by copper hair. The face of an angel.
Seth reminded himself that Katie had made the same choice, taken the same option. Money, not love. He wondered if she was enjoying her hundred-grand. It was probably a fortune to her.
Damn her, anyway.
Seth watched the news reports at first just to see her. There were shots of her jogging horses around the practice track and segments showing her leading animals in and out of corrals. When he saw footage of Katie sitting behind Spun Gold as she trained him, jealousy overwhelmed him. She was handling Gold. My horse. Then he had to be honest with himself and admit the colt had always been her horse.
Seth called Ross at least twice a day to ask about Katie, and each time Ross told him the same thing. “She’s fine, Seth. Let it go.”
So she’s doing just fine without me. He hadn’t mattered that much to her after all. He had mistakenly thought that Katie loved him.
Part of him was angry. Seth had hoped that somewhere deep down, Katie wouldn’t be able to stay away, that she wanted him for more than the Remington money. Of course, in his fantasy, when she showed up on his doorstep, Ross would suddenly realize that two people in love were destined to be together and he would waive the five-year clause.
Yeah, right. Like Matlock would ever do something that compassionate.
Whenever Seth thought of Ross being able to see Katie, talk to her, and touch her whenever he wished, Seth seethed. The jealousy was incredible, smothering in its intensity. He remembered the times he’d seen Ross kiss Katie in the winner’s circle or hold her hand in the paddock. He thought about the time his angel had drawn the lawyer into a passionate kiss as
they sat in the Lexus. The images became more than Seth could bear.
It hurt that Katie could go on without him because he was having quite a lot of trouble going on without her and her world. He missed the track and the people who worked there. He missed the horses. He missed Mondays at The Place talking to Brian, Samantha, and Chris.
But he missed Katie most of all.
Ross had suggested that Seth go to Remington Computer headquarters and try to find a way to contribute to the running of his company. Seth figured that would be what Sterling would want. Yet the time he spent there made him feel like a fish trying to live on dry land. His degree in psychology didn’t exactly prepare him for any position of importance in his own company. They definitely didn’t need a good harness driver.
Most of the time, Seth would duck into his father’s old office, close the door, and surf the Internet, checking on racing entries and results. He kept up with the horses he’d driven, but he constantly fretted over not being able to tell the new drivers all about the animals they had taken away from him. He had to correct himself that the horses weren’t taken away from him. Seth had abandoned them as well as their trainers who had grown to trust him.
I abandoned everyone at Dan Patch Raceway.
The only times Ross would reach out to contact Seth were to remind him that some residual paperwork remained for Sterling’s estate. “Are you ever coming in to sign the papers?” the lawyer would ask each time they talked. If Seth signed them, it would make it all permanent. He just wasn’t able to force himself to do so.
He was torn between wanting to be rid of Ross and wanting to hold onto the lawyer like a lifeline. Ross was Seth’s only connection to Katie, yet at the same time Ross became a painful reminder of what he had lost.
And Seth realized how much he had really lost when he left Katie Murphy behind to claim his fortune.
Perhaps I’m really a poor man after all.
* * * *
It took Katie twenty minutes to fill out all of the paperwork on the clipboard the receptionist had handed her. There were forms for everything. Forms for insurance. Forms for medical history. Forms for financial responsibility. Katie was sure her eyes would be permanently crossed from reading all of the fine print. It all boiled down to one thing—having a baby was going to be damned expensive.