by James, Sandy
Smiling up at him, Sarah seemed to ignore the comment. “Is here okay?” She pointed to a patch of grass lit by the afternoon sun.
He nodded toward a boulder resting several yards away. “Spread the blanket out there, and we can lean against the rock.” Giving in to the urge to touch her, Josh brushed her braid over her shoulder. “You sure look pretty today.” You’re an idiot, Joshua Miller. Before he could make another awkward pubescent comment, Libby mercifully came strolling over.
She plopped a small boom box next to the blanket and hit a few buttons. A loud electric guitar riff blasted through the speakers. Josh rolled his eyes and scoffed at his daughter’s selection of music. Definitely not something he would choose to listen to. Nothing but too loud bass, overwhelming drums, and a whiney emo singer.
“How about,” Sarah began before leaning down and fiddling with the radio, “something a little more...” A Billy Joel song grew from static to music as she adjusted the dial. “Is that okay, Libby?”
Libby gave a curt nod. “Yeah, it’s alright. At least it’s better than the crap Pop listens to.” She shuddered for effect. “Country. Ugh.” She grinned at her father and started to sing with an exaggerated southern drawl, “Don’t tell mah heart, mah achy-breaky heart...”
“Hey, watch it kid,” Josh protested. “Country music tells stories. I’m all about stories.”
Libby just shook her head. “I’ve heard cats fighting that sounded better.”
Their feigned squabble drew a chuckle from Sarah as she knelt in front of the picnic basket and opened one side. Pulling out containers and silverware, she spread their feast across the big blanket. “We keep eating like this, the pantry will be bare in no time.”
“We can always go into town for supplies.” Then he had a brilliant idea. He could take her to town on a date. An honest-to-God date. Just like they were teenagers again, which seemed appropriate since he was struggling to come up with anything to say to her that didn’t sound completely juvenile. Of course, they’d have their own chaperone since Libby would insist on going. But Josh didn’t care. He’d do whatever he had to win Sarah. “Or a movie. How about a movie? What do you say?”
Sarah cocked her head as if considering his request.
Since she didn’t immediately jump on his suggestion, he got nervous and swiftly employed his ally. “What do you think, Miss Elizabeth? Doesn’t a movie sound great?”
The sun gleamed off her braces when Libby smiled. “Can we go to the drive-in?”
“Drive-in?” Sarah asked, a touch of breathlessness in her voice. “A real drive-in movie? Like the old-fashioned ones? I didn’t know there were any of those left.”
“We’re in Montana,” Libby replied with a smirk. “It’s like stepping back into the fifties. Drive-ins. Nuclear families. Bomb shelters.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with old-fashioned,” Josh added, ignoring his offspring’s derision. He figured the Miller family’s perpetual need for sarcasm was a defect that Libby had clearly inherited. “There’s a lot to be said for simpler times.”
Sarah nodded as she handed out plates. “It sure made things easier. Everyone knew what to expect out of life. Women got married and became mothers. Men went to work then came home to their families.”
“Women got paid a helluva lot less than men,” Libby added. “I like being in the twenty-first century. I’d die without the Internet.”
“You wouldn’t miss it if you didn’t know it existed,” Sarah said, setting the last of the food out. “Let’s eat.”
Conversation at lunch was pleasant, and when they finished eating, Libby said she was going to head down to Dylan’s farm on her ATV. The teenager had promised her he’d take her horseback riding, and Josh knew Dylan’s parents would keep the teens chaperoned. He greedily anticipated some alone time with Sarah.
Packing away the last of the dirty dishes, Sarah seemed nervous. Probably because he was staring at her like a tiger ready to pounce. “Libby sure loves it out here,” she finally commented as she closed the lid. Seemingly changing her mind, she reached back into the basket, snatched one of the chocolate-chip cookies, and ate it. He showed her how happy she’d made him with an enormous smile and a nod. When she’d finished her dessert, Sarah couldn’t contain an exaggerated yawn that she tried to hide behind her hand.
She was obviously getting tired, and Josh wondered if they should go back. But Sarah seemed to love the late afternoon sunshine, and he remembered how much she’d liked the trip to the park back in Indiana. They could stay as long as she didn’t make herself exhausted. “Libby and I both love the outdoors. I suppose we could live out here all the time, but Libby would hate it after too long. It’s too isolated. She has that teenage version of attention-deficit disorder that makes her constantly have to be busy.”
Sarah’s sweet laugh filled the air, blending with the gentle sounds of the waterfall. “I used to be like that. About a million years ago. I was always running around. People to see. Places to go. Parties to be seen at. Then—”
Having grabbed the picnic basket, Josh moved to put it back on the ATV. The sadness in her voice and her abrupt halt in conversation took him by surprise. After skidding to a stop, he set the basket down in the grass and went over to sit by her on the blanket. “Then what?”
She simply shook her head and leaned back against the boulder.
“Then what, Sarah?”
“Then my parents died and...all I had was Charlie. And then he...” She sniffed back a few tears, the sad sound reaching all the way to his heart. The quiet confession and his digging into her background told Josh all he needed to know.
Sarah had never known stability. An alcoholic father. An emotionally distant, co-dependent mother. And a man she loved who had died in a tragic accident she blamed on herself rather than his own drunken folly. She’d wasted most of her twenties trying to cope with her tragedy of a life by drinking. Once she received her gift, she’d attempted to make up for what she obviously considered her sins—including bearing the guilt for Charlie Baxter’s death.
Josh suddenly realized just how much Sarah needed him. He also realized just how much he needed her in return.
Stretching a reassuring arm around her, he leaned back against the boulder. Sarah didn’t resist when he pressed her head to his shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?”
“No.” She rubbed her cheek against his collarbone as she laid one hand up against his chest. As he dropped his chin to rest on the top of her head, he wondered if she was even aware of the little circles she was gently tracing with her fingers. “Where do your parents live?”
“Florida,” Josh replied, a twinge of guilt flowing over him that he hadn’t called them in over a month. He made a quick mental note to drop them an email when they got back to the ranch. He’d have to slip away from Sarah so she wouldn’t figure out the phone line was fine. There was no reason to clue her in. She’d call Hannah, and he didn’t think knowing what was going on back in Indianapolis would help her relax any. Besides, it served Hannah Fanning right to worry about Sarah. Heaven knew Hannah hadn’t honestly worried about her sister for a good long while.
“Where do you call home, Joshua?” She was having trouble smothering the yawns that came with increasing frequency.
Josh eased her head down until she was lying on the blanket with her head on his lap, those curious hazel eyes staring up at him. For some reason, he wanted to play with her hair, to see if it felt as much like silk as it looked. He contented himself with stroking a few stray tendrils away from her face. It was just as soft. “Near Chicago. A suburb called Naperville.”
Sarah closed her eyes as if she enjoyed his touch. “What happened to Libby’s mother? Are you divorced?”
“How do you know I was even married?”
“Puhleeze,” she drawled with a crooked smile that revealed an attractive dimple. “I haven’t known you long, but I do know you’re not the type to get some girl pregnant and run away.” She didn’t even
open her eyes as she wiggled her head against his lap to get a little more comfortable.
Fire shot to his groin. It took all his concentration to form a coherent sentence. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” One he probably didn’t deserve, considering the licentious thoughts flying through his head at that moment. He wanted Sarah. Badly. This place was like Eden, and Josh wanted to strip the clothes right off her, lay her down on the blanket, and recreate paradise. He’d make love to her fast and furious the first time. Slow and loving the second time. Ridiculous notions considering how desperately she needed some rest. But, damn, he was having trouble locating any patience and waging a greater battle finding an ounce of self-control.
“It was meant as one,” she said, bringing him back into the conversation. “But you still didn’t answer my question.”
“Libby’s mother, my wife Miranda, passed away over a year ago.”
Sarah’s eyes flew open. “Oh, Joshua. I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head and smoothed the back of his knuckles against her cheek. A slight turn of her head toward his fingers told him she liked his touch. “Thank you, but it’s time to get over the grief.”
“And are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Over your grief.”
Am I over my grief? Josh asked himself one last time. Am I really over my grief? “Yes. Miranda wouldn’t want me living in the past.”
Sarah’s gaze seemed to penetrate his skull, trying to search his mind for something she needed to know. “What did she die of?”
“Ovarian cancer. We don’t have to talk about—”
“She went to a faith healer,” Sarah interrupted, stating her thoughts rather than asking a question. “That’s why you wanted to write a story about me. Miranda got ripped off by a phony faith healer.”
He owed her the truth. “Yeah, she did. Miranda was desperate to not leave Libby and me alone. She tried everything. Cure-all potions. Experimental treatments. And a faith healer. She paid the guy a thousand dollars. He laid hands on her. Then he and the money disappeared while she got worse.” God, he hated reliving those memories. Some wounds left a permanent scar on a person’s heart.
“I wouldn’t have done that. I would’ve healed her.” Tears rolled out of the corner of each eye. He wiped one away. “Shelly had the same thing as your Miranda. But she won’t die now. You saw me heal her.”
“I remember.”
“I wish...”
Josh smoothed another of Sarah’s tears away with his thumb. “Don’t say it. We can’t change the past. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, but it’s not like most faith healers are like you, honey.”
Her eyes squeezed shut. “How many other people will die because I’m here?”
“You can’t save the world.”
“I couldn’t save Charlie.” Her words were a mere whisper.
“Do you want to talk about it? I read the police reports. It wasn’t your fault that—”
She interrupted. “I can’t talk about him. Please.” The last word was choked out as a strangled plea.
Josh stroked her hair, feeling a need to protect her. Even from herself. “Shh. It’s so nice here and so warm. Just take a quick nap. We can go back later. You’re tired, Sarah.”
She breathed a long sigh. “Yes, I’m tired. But you’re probably...”
“Shh.” He rubbed his thumb over her soft lips, wanting desperately to kiss her again. Like in the park. And in the kitchen. He could almost taste her. “I’ve got nowhere else to go. And there’s no one else I’d rather be with.”
“Mm.” She was already half asleep and probably hadn’t caught all his words.
Smoothing his knuckles against her cheek again, he smiled. Sarah was beautiful. The rest she’d gotten was already having an impact on her appearance. Her skin no longer looked waxen. A bit of sun had put some red in her cheeks. The corners of her lips twitched into a small smile. She enchanted him.
Josh wondered about the future, a future he wanted to include Sarah Reid. Assuming she would have him. They lived in different cities. They had separate lives.
How attached was she to Indianapolis? Aside from Hannah and Doug Fanning, Josh wasn’t sure what other ties Sarah had to the Hoosier state. None had turned up in his research, but he supposed he should also turn the question back on himself. What ties did he still have to Chicago? Being a freelance journalist, he could live just about anywhere. He’d even planned on following Libby to college when she went. Not that he’d cramp her style, but a thirteen-year-old girl sure as hell didn’t need to be turned loose on a college campus without an adult sticking close. Even if she was a certified genius.
The warmth of the day made him drowsy. Watching Sarah so peacefully enjoying her rest, Josh yawned. Maybe a nap was as good an idea for him as it was for her. He rested his head back against the boulder and drifted to sleep, thinking about how he and Libby and Sarah could make a new family.
* * * *
Sarah stretched like a content feline, for once waking without aches, pains, or the drowning feeling that the world held nothing good in store for her. It was such a luxury—a luxury she owed to Joshua Miller.
Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she looked up at him. He’d fallen asleep leaning against the big boulder. Her head still rested in his lap, and she hesitated to move, not wishing to wake him.
In sleep, he appeared younger. The little lines at the corner of his eyes were gone, as was the tension on his handsome face. He’d never told her his age. She’d heard him say Libby was thirteen. What did that make Joshua? Thirty-something?
A widower. That explained the aura she’d seen the first time she’d met him. He was still in pain from losing his wife. Then she realized the aura had vanished. When had it disappeared? She hadn’t paid much attention to auras lately. She’d been too preoccupied to notice.
Thinking about his late wife, Sarah’s heart went out to Josh. No wonder he’d been so hot to do a story on her. He probably felt he had a personal quest to remove all the phony faith healers from the world.
He’d obviously decided Sarah was the real thing. Otherwise, he would have never gone to the effort of kidnapping her. If Josh didn’t believe her, there would have been no genuine concern for her collapsing after a healing. But what was he saving her from?
Sick people?
Hannah and Doug’s greed?
From her headlong dive into saving people as penance for her part in Charlie’s death?
She thought of her friend, of what had happened to him because she’d been too drunk to keep him from doing something stupid, something that cost him his life.
Funny. For the first time in a very, very long time, Sarah didn’t feel her heart clench when she thought about Charlie. Tears didn’t spring to her eyes and a wave of nauseating guilt didn’t wash over her.
Josh stirred, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes. Sarah sat up, feeling sad the quiet and relaxing interlude was coming to an end.
His smile was the most handsome thing she’d ever seen. “Nice nap?” he asked with a yawn he didn’t bother to cover with his hand.
“Yeah. You?”
He never answered her. Instead, he reached over and put his hand behind her head. Drawing her to him, Josh pressed his mouth to hers.
Sarah sure hadn’t expected him to kiss her again, having figured her tears prompted the kisses Josh had given her back at the ranch house. Pity kisses. But this was no pity kiss. His lips were firm and demanding, sending tingles of delight shimmering through her. When he pulled back to stare into her eyes, she actually groaned aloud. Another heart-stopping smile lit his face before he kissed her again.
Sarah leaned into him. Josh obviously didn’t feel it was close enough because he grabbed her by the waist and put her on his lap without ever taking his lips away from hers.
He smelled like the outdoors—clean and masculine. His lips were warm. The lingering sweetness of the iced tea they drank earlier remained, the taste even stro
nger when his tongue swept into her mouth. Wanting to get closer, Sarah turned and pressed her chest to his.
She’d been kissed before. Simple pecks. Pubescent near slobbers. Teenage awkward attempts at passion. A couple of drunken make-out sessions that, to her embarrassment, she barely remembered. But Sarah had never been inspired to respond beyond a twitter of want and a curiosity of what could come next. She’d just always figured she was one of those cold women who didn’t need sex, that there was something wrong with her.
But this kiss flipped her assumption on its ear. The passion Josh inspired took her entirely by surprise. Need raced through her, a primitive type of desire she thought would never find her. A type of desire she thought she was simply immune to. Heat and longing and need. All for Joshua Miller.
Her tongue hesitantly rubbed across his, and Sarah savored the gravely growl from deep in his throat. His reaction emboldened her, as did the visceral thrill she felt each time he moved restlessly against her, each time his hands wandered over her body. A brush over her thigh. A caress against her waist. She wanted him to touch her, desperately wanted to feel his fingers against her bare skin. And she wanted to run her hands over every inch of him, to explore every plane, every angle.
Somehow he’d turned her to straddle him. She didn’t even wonder how it had happened without her noticing, instead enjoying the feel of him between her legs—another sensation she’d never experienced but thoroughly enjoyed. Tucking away the notion that thirty-year-old women weren’t supposed to be virgins, Sarah wondered how much she’d missed in life.
But it wasn’t the intimate contact, she realized. It was the intimate contact with Joshua.
His hips rocked up, pressing hard against her as he held her steady with firm hands on her hips. Even through his jeans and her khakis, she felt the evidence of his desire. A heady feeling of excitement engulfed her knowing he felt the growing fire between them as much as she did.
Josh pulled away, cupped her cheeks in his hands, and stared into her eyes. Then he sighed and rested his forehead against hers. “Oh, Sarah. I want you, honey. I want you bad.”