by James, Sandy
Sarah wanted to drown in his kiss, in his touch, in his embrace. The storm had sent her running to him, her heart leaping in terror at the first dreaded rumble of thunder. Lightning triggered a rush of adrenaline to every nerve, every muscle, and always made her seek safety.
Josh was safety.
But Sarah knew her fear of storms wasn’t the only reason she was now kissing him. She needed him. She begged him with her lips and her body to claim her. Oh, how she wanted to trace every inch of his warm skin with her fingertips, wanted to learn the secrets of his body, and wanted to surrender to the passion she’d felt from him in each kiss and each caress. All week, he’d driven her to the brink, only to frighten her at her own response. She would pull back and leave herself frustrated. She’d kept her guard up, afraid to admit—even to herself—how much she felt for Josh.
Sarah loved him. More than she should, more than was fair or right. She’d let Josh in, even after swearing she would never get close to another human being again, that she would never allow herself to love again after Charlie died.
Yet she’d been lying to herself to think she didn’t love anyone. She felt affection for all those she had saved, for all those faces keeping vigil from her bedroom wall as she slept after each healing. Pretending she didn’t care now seemed utterly absurd. Of course she cared. About each and every one of them. And she loved Joshua Miller, even if she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. Even if he wouldn’t love her in return.
Lightning then thunder. Loud enough Sarah felt the smooth floorboards vibrate under her feet. She drowned her fear in the carnal kiss. The man was talented, his tongue distracting her, making her forget the storm. Not even trying to stop the little moans coming from her throat, she let his passion brush away her fear. The storm between the two of them raged stronger than the one outside.
His hands slowly dropped to cup her backside as Josh pulled her hips hard against his. Sarah loved the feeling of his erection rubbing against her through the thin material of her t-shirt and his boxers. She savored each growl, each press of his body harder against hers. She’d never felt the type of longing and desire he sent racing through her veins. Josh made her feel pretty, made her feel desirable, and even made her feel loved.
The anticipation was maddening, making Sarah want to leave the virginal part of herself behind so she could know all there was to making love. His lips left hers, and Sarah had to stop herself from crying out in frustration. Then those warm lips touched the pulse along her neck, and she closed her eyes and tilted her head, wishing he would never stop.
Biting back a satisfied male chuckle at her reaction, Josh kissed the smooth skin of her slender throat. He’d almost forgotten how this felt, this giddy expectation, this knowing what was to come while still enjoying each and every small step that would lead them to paradise. Even though his body screamed at him to toss her on the bed and bury himself deep inside her warmth, he held his control. He’d go slowly. Steadily. Deliberately. He’d relish the expectation and make her savor it as well. He would make this first experience as wonderful for Sarah as he possibly could.
Gently nibbling at her ear lobe, Josh traced the delicate shell with his tongue. “God, Sarah, I want you,” he whispered. Her reply of quick panting breaths told him she felt the same. He was about to return to his tender assault when she suddenly pulled her arms back and gave him a gentle push away. He was so surprised he could only gape at her.
An unreasoning terror gripped Sarah. The frightening sounds of the storm mixed with Josh’s masculine smell and the heat radiating from his powerful body. The heady combination threatened to overwhelm her, and for that moment, she was terrified of losing herself. She’d never experienced anything this strong, this overpowering. The sensations made her feel both empowered and yet powerless. Her heart slammed against her chest. Blood raced through her body. Heat pooled between her legs. She wanted this. She wanted him. But Sarah needed to take back some control so she could harness her fear. She needed to know she was just as responsible for this as he was. Lightning flashed as thunder shook the house.
Josh’s eyes searched hers, asking, begging, promising. Her answer was to reach behind her head. Sarah tugged at the neck of her long t-shirt and quickly jerked it over her head. Then she thrilled at the fact he sucked in air for a good five seconds as he stared at her nudity. The shirt fluttered silently to the floor, followed by another streak of lightning and the crash of thunder.
Perfect. Every inch of her was perfect. It had taken the self-control of a saint for Josh to care for her after she’d saved Libby. Not being able to reach out and touch each beautiful curve of Sarah’s body had been nothing short of torture. Now that perfect body he’d longed to caress was bared to him again, and this time he could touch her. He surrendered to the desire she sent pounding through every cell of his body. He needed to touch her, needed to run his fingertips and his lips over every part of her warm, soft skin. Suddenly, his boxers were too thick a barrier between them for him to tolerate. As she boldly challenged him, standing there beautiful and naked, Josh took up the gauntlet. A moment later, his abandoned garment was kicked aside.
In her entire life, Sarah had never seen anything as exciting as Josh standing there, gloriously nude and obviously aroused. Knowing his body was responding to her only made it that much more delicious.
They reached for each other at the same time.
His hands were everywhere, exploring and exciting her to a fever pitch. Unsure what was right and wrong, Sarah mimicked his actions, hoping Josh wouldn’t think her a freak for having no experience. Her overwhelming curiosity set her hand on a quest. A growl rumbled in his throat when she reached between them and wrapped her fingers around the hot length of his erection. She marveled at the feel of soft skin over the hardened flesh, wondering at the way her simple strokes made his breath come in ragged gasps. Too soon, he brushed her fingers aside. Fearing she’d done something she shouldn’t have, Sarah stiffened.
“It’s not you, honey,” Josh said. “I can’t... If I let you do that too long, I’ll lose control. I want you too badly.”
Sarah felt his words race like fire through her belly and her knees went weak. He wanted her. He really wanted only her. Before she could weave her mind around that idea, she found herself lifted up in his arms and placed on the cool sheets.
Josh swallowed hard, trying to hold back. But, damn, he’d never felt such a gnawing need in his gut to brush aside all subtlety and simply pound mindlessly into a woman. Sarah had unleashed something in him, something fierce and primitive. Deep breaths weren’t helping much.
Her beautiful blond hair fanned out like a halo. Her skin was white as alabaster in the dim light. She was everything feminine. Beauty. Passion. Love. He wanted to do more than make love to her. He wanted to possess her, to devour her. He wanted to keep her.
His hesitance must have caused her embarrassment because one hand moved to inadequately cover her breasts as the other dropped to shield him from a view of heaven on earth. “Don’t. Don’t hide. Sarah, you’re beautiful.” Josh knelt over her, pulled her hand away from her breasts and replaced it with his lips as he stretched out his legs over hers.
Sarah couldn’t rein in a gasp when he began to suckle her breast. Nothing could have prepared her for the wave of warmth and longing the caress of his lips invoked. Her back arched as she offered herself to him. Burying her fingers in his hair, she encouraged with whispers and moans for him to continue the exquisite torture.
A small flicker of sobering sanity flared in Josh’s brain. Condoms. There had to be condoms somewhere in the house. After all, the Circle M belonged to Miller family. The whole lot of them were no better than rabbits where their mates were concerned. But he pinched the flicker as if snuffing out the wick of a candle.
He knew she was safe, a virgin. He was safe too. And he wanted nothing between them, selfishly wishing to give her a baby. Carrying a child would make Sarah more careful with herself and might get her to stop
this ridiculous desire to heal every sick person in the world at the cost of her own health and perhaps her own life.
The way she writhed in his arms as he rolled to his side and dropped a hand to caress the very heat of her told him she was mindless to things like birth control. He would greedily take advantage of the fact she felt overwhelmed by what was happening to her and hope she would forgive him later.
Damn, she felt good. Hot. Wet. Tight. His control slipped with each stroke of his fingers and each of her moans and gasps.
Every nerve tingled, every part of Sarah’s body throbbed in anticipation, wanting Josh to come to her, to show her what love was all about. She ached in the pit of her gut, a thrill that was delicious yet terrifying. His fingers stroked and her body answered. Muscles clenched as she reached for a goal, a height just out of her reach. “Please, Joshua.”
“Yes, baby.” Settling himself between her welcoming legs, he hesitated. This was a glorious gift Sarah offered, and he wanted her to know he would keep her safe in his heart. He kissed her long and deep. Then, as he slowly entered her, he whispered, “I love you, Sarah.” She gasped as he pressed home.
Sarah knew it was supposed to hurt. That she was prepared for, and the snippet of hurt was quickly forgotten. Josh’s declaration had been what brought tears to her eyes. This was how it was supposed to be. The man she loved slowly withdrawing before sinking back inside her body in a rhythm that thrummed through her in a primeval beat. She’d heard the words but was too involved in what he was doing to her to process what he’d actually said. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she pushed the lingering pinch of pain aside and surrendered herself as the tension built again.
Her body was paradise, and Josh was close to losing his hard fought control. He refused to leave her behind, and almost cried out in relief as he felt Sarah’s body begin to spasm and buck as she gasped his name. Consumed by the pleasure she gave him, he forfeited his battle, giving in to all her felt for her. The orgasm was so overwhelming, when it ended he couldn’t stop pushing into her in small strokes, wishing for the connection they shared to go on forever.
Sarah’s warm hands stroked his back, his hips, his buttocks. He savored the lingering sighs that accompanied her caresses. With regret, Josh broke their link and rolled to his back so he wouldn’t crush her. Before he could pull her against his side, she snuggled into him, drawing her knee up to drape it over his thigh. The sleepy, sated feeling was hard to fight, but he felt like he should say something to ease what he feared would be a moment of regret on her part.
A bright flash of lightning was quickly followed by a clap of thunder. “Sarah, are you still afraid?” When she didn’t answer, he craned his neck to see the woman he loved snuggled up against his shoulder, sound asleep.
Chapter 15
For a moment, Josh thought he was having an erotic and wonderfully realistic dream. As the sleepy haze cleared, he realized a naked Sarah was the person straddling his thighs. She bathed his chest in butterfly kisses, working her way up until she settled her mouth on his, her tongue demanding entry. And, Lord, the woman could kiss. Her tongue glided over his, dueling and stroking and sending sheer desire pounding through him. A low, feminine growl from back in her throat told him she liked his forceful response as he returned the favor, pushing his tongue deep into her mouth.
Her fingers fluttered across his collarbone, down his chest, over his stomach, pausing for only a hesitant moment before encircling his erection. But once she had him in her grasp, she didn’t seem to know what to do. She gave him a shy smile. Josh covered her hand with his and showed her what he liked, how her touch could excite him. She was a fast learner, stoking the fire inside him until he couldn’t take her teasing any longer. About to take charge and flip her to her back, he was surprised when Sarah placed her hands against his shoulders, forcing him back against the bed.
Not entirely sure she knew what she was doing but wishing desperately to show Josh how much she wanted him, Sarah followed her instincts. She’d awakened with a need that felt so visceral, so consuming, she could think of nothing else except how much she wanted to make love with him again. Last night wasn’t just a fantasy or some wishful dream forged from her fear of the storm. She needed to feel his warm skin against hers to prove it. She wanted to taste his lips. She wanted him deep inside her again.
Straddling his hips, Sarah slowly lowered herself onto him, savoring the connection until she smiled in satisfaction as he filled her completely. The feeling was pure bliss, pure rightness. She tried to move, hoping the rhythm would excite him. Josh grabbed her hips and set a faster pace, thrusting hard against her, and Sarah quickly caught the tempo.
Trying to make the moment last, she fought the pressure building up inside her. But the harder Josh rocked up against her, the faster he moved inside her, the more the sensations overwhelmed her. In a wave of heat, her climax overtook her at the same time Josh pushed his hips hard against hers and groaned her name. She collapsed in sated relaxation against his chest, hoping it would always be like this, that she could always share her body with the man she loved.
Josh didn’t want to break their connection, satisfied to stay in bed with Sarah and let the rest of the world pass by. He stroked her bed-ruffled hair and enjoyed the fast tempo of her breathing, knowing she’d been as affected by their lovemaking as he’d been.
Her contented sigh tickled his neck. He allowed himself a smug smile.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Sarah whispered.
“Sure you did. You had your hands on my—”
Her chuckle interrupted him. “I guess I did. I just... I really liked...” She sighed again, as if giving up the struggle to find the right words. “I wanted you.”
Her honesty earned her a kiss on the top of the head. The floral smell of her shampoo filled his nostrils. “I wanted you too, honey.” He broke their intimate link, settling Sarah against his side. She wiggled closer and tangled her legs with his, letting her toes slide up and down his shins. Josh was getting accustomed to the feel of her snuggled up to him. It was exactly where she belonged. “I love you, Sarah.”
Sarah’s fingertip drew little circles on his chest, ruffling the dark hair. It was as if he’d never said the words. Hurt and anger rose inside him until he could wrestle them back into his control.
Patience, Miller. Give her time. She’ll figure it out. But it hurt more than he cared to admit that she wouldn’t say the words back to him. It hurt more than he’d ever thought possible. She had to love him. She would love him, damn it.
Sarah finally sighed and said, “I suppose we should get up and have some breakfast.” She suddenly sat up as if startled. “Libby. What are we going to tell Libby?”
“Libby will understand. She knows how we feel about each other.” Watching Sarah sitting there, his anger evaporated, easily replaced with desire. She was exquisite. Bare skinned, disheveled, cheeks still flushed. All Josh wanted to do was draw her back into his arms and make love to her again. Slowly this time. Seductively. Deliberately. Until she came, calling his name. He vowed he would make her love him every bit as much as he loved her. In bed and out of bed. She wasn’t going back to Indiana until she admitted it.
This woman had awakened Josh’s inner caveman, making him feel primitive, protective, and more than a little libidinous. He wanted to mark her with his scent, with his kiss, with his touch. He wanted to have children with her—beautiful, blond little girls to be sisters to his Libby. He suddenly realized he wanted to marry Sarah Reid. Instead of frightening him or making feel like he would lose his freedom, that amazing notion only made him want her more.
Just as he turned to pounce on Sarah, a knock on the bedroom door stopped his enticing fantasies dead in their tracks.
“Pop? Laurie’s on your cell. Says she’s calling about the email you sent. Can I come in?”
They both shouted, “No!” Libby’s muffled giggle floated through the air.
Shit. Sarah couldn’t possibly let his f
ib pass unnoticed.
She arched a pretty eyebrow. “I thought there weren’t any cell towers around here.”
“Oops.”
“And no email.”
He shrugged.
“You just didn’t want me to call home.”
Josh flashed her a guilty grin and nodded.
“Who’s Laurie?” Sarah asked, staring at him with curiosity clear in her hazel eyes. He detected a note of jealousy in her voice that warmed his heart.
“My cousin.”
“Your... Oh, the empath.”
Retrieving his boxers from the floor, Josh slipped them on then walked to the door. Barely opening it, he took the phone from Libby. Sarah could hear her still giggling when he shut the door.
“How’d you know that?” he asked as he sat back on the bed.
“Libby said something about her.”
He put the cell phone to his ear. “Hi, Doctor Miller. What’s up?” Josh asked as he reached out to hold Sarah’s hand. She wouldn’t let him. Instead she grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to cover her breasts. He wanted to rip it out of her hands and throw it on the floor. She was blocking his perfect view.
“It’s Dr. Kennedy, and you know it,” Laurie replied through a fair amount of static. “I would’ve gotten back to you sooner, but my computer has been on the fritz. Thought you might want to know I’m on my way. Ross grumbled, but I packed up a few things for Jill and I, and we got an early flight. I’ll be there this afternoon.”