by James, Sandy
Did she realize how foolish it was for a woman her age to run around acting like some teenager getting herself ready for the prom? James wiped at the bar a little harder than necessary to clean up a small spill, taking his irritation out on the wood instead of Susan.
Who was he kidding? She deserved this. She deserved dances and flowers and nights on the town—things he should have given her more of back in their own time. Things he should have done after the miscarriage to help ease the frown from her beautiful face.
Caroline and that thin brunette, Abigail, had been waiting for Susan when she got back from her shopping trip. Abigail Miller, Daniel’s daughter. Susan had obviously gotten to know her well because they acted like old friends. Maybe she was meeting Daniel after all.
That thought made his chest hurt.
The three women obviously made the goal of their afternoon to force James to lose his mind.
Susan focused on pinning a pattern to the gold material and cutting out the parts of a dress. She hadn’t been lying; she could really sew.
Abigail focused on telling Susan just how wonderful her father was and intimating that they would make a wonderful couple. Saint Daniel this, Saint Daniel that, and Saint Daniel some other damned thing.
Caroline focused on being in James’s way every time he turned around. With her hands all over him, he gained an appreciation of what it must be like for Susan when the drunken men constantly reached out to grope her.
By the time the customers had started to stream into the Golden Nugget, James found himself in as foul a mood as he could remember being in for a long, long time. Nothing could possibly make him any angrier.
Then Daniel Miller strolled into the saloon, whistling like he had not a care in the world.
Since she was singing at the time, Susan didn’t appear to have noticed him. Overwhelmed by jealousy, James decided to try to bring the budding romance to a screeching halt. “I’d ask if you want a drink, but you never do.” With a shake of his head he added, “Sissy boy.”
Daniel flashed James a confident grin, then turned back to stare at Susan. “I don’t come here to drink. I have a more important reason.”
“No shit, Sherlock. You’re about as subtle as a damned stallion sniffing after a mare in heat.”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t speak about Susan that way.”
“Why don’t you leave her alone?”
The responding chuckle made James itch to take a swing at the rancher. “I’ll leave her alone when she asks me to.” Daniel took his hat off and set it on the bar. “Not a moment before.”
Susan was singing some sappy Barry Manilow song, and the crowd acted uncharacteristically rude. The popcorn baskets had seemed like a good idea at the time, but as kernels flew along with insults, the salty treat would probably be history after tonight.
Several rowdy men James didn’t recognize from town had taken tables close to the piano, giving some of the saloon’s regulars the heave ho. No fight had ensued, but he was fairly sure it was going to turn ugly sometime before he and Li’l Jim would have to throw the obnoxious cowboys out. A picture of him also tossing Daniel out onto the muddy street brought a smile.
“Play somethin’ else!” a young cowboy shouted, slamming his empty mug on the table. “Somethin’ lively!”
She quickly finished her song and turned around to glare at the guy. James had seen that frosty look before and was happy she’d directed it at someone besides him.
“Do you have a request?” Her sweet voice hid her annoyance, but James knew that tone. He’d heard it too many times before.
The heckler snorted at her. “How about I request you? Why don’t you and me go upstairs and get nice ’n cozy, sweetheart?”
Figuring she’d need a hand with the unruly cowboy, James was about to step out from behind the bar when he caught Susan’s reply. “I’ll tell you what, Romeo. How about you come back when you’re old enough to shave? Then maybe you’ll be man enough for a woman like me.”
The regular customers laughed loud and long. So did Daniel. The young cowboy’s face flushed red. Susan turned back around to start another song, but the heckler jumped to his feet and threw his chair aside. “I’ll show you I’m a man!” Before anyone could stop him, he grabbed Susan’s arms and jerked her to her feet. Spinning her around, he wrapped his beefy arms around her and kissed her soundly.
Without a thought, James bolted over the bar and got to the cowboy before anyone else had the chance to react. With strength he didn’t know he had, he grabbed the kid and pulled him away from Susan. Whirling him around, James fisted his hands in the guy’s shirt and lifted him up until his feet dangled. “I’m gonna put my foot so far up your ass you’re gonna choke on my shoelaces.”
Susan’s heart leapt in her chest, and she ran to stop the confrontation. “Let him go.” She’d never seen James so out of control, and for a moment, she was terrified he would beat the stupid kid.
James clearly had no faith in her. Didn’t he know she could take care of herself? She’d faced far worse than one insufferable drunk who probably wasn’t even old enough to vote. Tugging at James’s arm didn’t budge it an inch. “I mean it. Let him go.”
All his anger instantly found a new target. Her. His blue eyes blazed with fury. “Let him go? After what he did to you?”
“For pity’s sake. He stole a kiss. And not a very good one at that. I’d rather kiss a pig.” Several customers chuckled. She flashed a smile to a couple of them. “These guys would steal one from me too if I let them, and probably do a better job of it.”
Their ensuing laughter didn’t lighten James’s mood. “He touched you. I oughta…” With a growl, he shook the kid like he weighed nothing at all. Booted feet hung like a Raggedy Andy’s, swaying limply with each of the jostles.
Trying to move James’s arm seemed akin to trying to move a house. She changed her tactic. Putting her hands on her hips, Susan reached deep down for her best don’t-screw-with-me voice, the one that had made more than a few freshmen cry. “Let. Him. Go.”
The heat from his glare raised the temperature in the room a few degrees. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some damn kid.”
“Then quit acting like some damn kid.” The cowboy looked down at her with wide, entreating eyes and a bright red face, probably because she represented his only chance at salvation. He clutched at James’s arm. “Apologize,” she ordered, figuring the kid knew she was talking to him.
“I…I’m s…s…sorry.”
She gave him a curt nod. “Thank you. Put him down now, James.” When he didn’t move to obey, she got louder. “Put him down! Now!”
James dropped his burden, and the kid crumpled to the ground like an unloved doll. Quickly regrouping, he grabbed the hat that had fallen from his head, plopped it on crooked, and hurried to the door the best he could, weaving through the maze of chairs and tables and tripping over other customers. His friends followed close behind like a pack of dogs from a spraying skunk.
Susan turned to head back to the piano, thinking about what songs she could sing to calm everything down a bit. Maybe Billy Joel. Or something Motown. Between her confrontation with the marshal, dealing with Caroline’s snide insinuations all afternoon, and rescuing the boy-man who’d just kissed her, she’d had enough high drama for one day. She hadn’t taken two steps before James’s strong hand landed on her shoulder and jerked her back around to face him. She had to fight the urge to step farther away.
His anger was clearly still in full flight. “Not so fast.”
She threw him an indignant frown. “What?”
“You’re not even going to thank me?”
“Thank you? Thank you? For what?” She glanced at the front doors. “You mean for hurting that boy? I could’ve handled him myself.” A laugh fell from her lips. “Some of my students make him look like a regular gentleman.”
James took a quick step toward her to halve the small distance between them and towered over her like some avenging an
gel. “You’re not going to thank me? Of all the ungrateful—”
“I’m not ungrateful, but you didn’t do anything to deserve my gratitude.”
“Didn’t…do…” He sputtered the echo of her words. “God, Susan! You drive me crazy!”
She closed the last of the distance until their chests almost touched. If she had to keep glaring up at him, she’d probably get a crick in her neck. Not that she cared. She wouldn’t let him intimidate her. “I didn’t need your help.”
“You never do, do you? Damn you, Susan! The least you could do was—”
One second he was frowning down at her, the next he’d been shoved back until his thighs bumped into one of the tables.
Daniel planted himself between the bickering couple. “I don’t take kindly to a man cursing at a lady.”
James scoffed at them. “Well, when a lady walks in, I’ll be sure to watch my language.”
Things happened so fast she couldn’t react in time to stop them. Daniel’s right fist connected with James’s left eye. James stumbled back, landing on a chair. He jumped to his feet, kicked the chair over, and rushed Daniel. With an angry snarl, James balled his right hand into a fist and landed a good blow to Daniel’s nose. The sound reminded her of when her mother used to pound beefsteak with a big, silver mallet to soften the meat. Blood trickled from one of Daniel’s nostrils. He bent forward and spit blood onto the sawdust on the floor before leveling a lethal stare at James.
Flashbacks to the brawls she’d broken up in the hallways of her school hit her hard, and she finally reacted. Stepping between the two men who looked like they were ready to charge at each other like a couple of long-horned sheep butting heads over some ewe, she put a hand against each of their chests. “Knock it off!”
Her voice rose above the din of the men in the bar who seemed to be taking sides and cheering on their choice of gladiator. Still holding the two fighters apart, she gave her best bellow, the one that usually echoed through the locker banks at her school. “I said, knock it off!”
Just like back at school, the crowd obeyed.
She pushed against James’s chest. “You, go let Li’l Jim get something cold on that eye.” He scowled at her, holding his right hand over his puffy eye. “I mean it. Go,” she insisted, pointing at the kitchen. With a snarl, he did as she asked.
“You,” she said, tugging on Daniel’s sleeve, “come with me.” The compliant man followed her to the bar. Grabbing one of the bar towels, she poured some water over it and pressed it to his nose. “Outside. Now.”
Daniel took the towel from her fingers and did as she asked. “Why outside?”
“We need to talk.”
The crowd, who’d followed her to the bar like a swarm of bees, parted as she pushed her way to the front swinging doors. With all her anger and frustration, she shoved them open wide enough both she and Daniel walked through before they swung back. She let him trail after her down the wooden boardwalk until she burned off some of her temper and could have a conversation with him that didn’t include a string of annoyed profanities. All he’d done was try to protect her, but she didn’t need protection—especially not from James.
Why didn’t either man think she could take care of herself?
Susan stopped at the alley between the general store and the undertaker. Turning to face Daniel, she took the towel and wiped away the remaining blood. With small, gentle dabs, she tried to put him back to right. At least his nose had stopped bleeding. “You shouldn’t have hit James.”
“He wasn’t showing you respect. A gentleman shouldn’t curse at a lady.”
A sigh escaped as she kept wiping the last drops of blood off his upper lip. “I’m not a lady and you damn well know it. I’m a singer in a bar. I’m a fallen woman. I don’t belong here, in a nice quiet place like River Bend.” Or to this time.
He reached up and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. Pulling her hand down, he took the towel with his other hand and dropped it to the ground. “I don’t want to hear you talk like that. Ever. You’re a lady, and you should be treated like one.” Daniel tugged her to him and wrapped his arms around her. “And you belong here because I’m here.”
Staring up at him, Susan knew what he wanted. A commitment. Not that he’d said the words, but she saw it in his eyes.
Such a kind man. A man who would make a fantastic husband. Her heart ached, wondering if she could learn to love him. There might have been a chance, years ago when she’d been young. But had James filled her heart so much there simply wasn’t room for another man?
James wasn’t hers anymore, and she was all alone in this maddening world.
Daniel was offering her a choice. Life with him on the Circle M or life where she’d have to sing in a bar just to keep a roof over her head. Did she have a third option? Could James still want her? Could they find their way back to each other? Could they ever find their way back home?
If she would have to stay in River Bend the rest of her life, she had to decide. Yet she feared one choice had already been taken from her, the choice she wanted most.
All afternoon, Caroline had intimated that she and James were already lovers, that they had been from the first day he’d taken the job at the Golden Nugget. Abigail’s comments only seemed to confirm Caroline’s words.
Pain washed over Susan, heartsick pain that shook her to her very soul. Tears formed in her eyes, and she glanced away from Daniel, not wanting to share her sorrow. She’d been sent to the past to find her destiny. If her destiny was to leave her family behind, she wasn’t sure she could bear it.
Daniel’s fingers touched her face, gently coaxing her to look up at him. “What’s wrong?”
She tried to shake her head. His thumb and fingers against her chin held her captive. “I…I guess I just figured out that I’m all alone now.” The love of her life had left her behind. She understood the devastating pain felt by women whose husbands acquired trophy wives as a way to deal with midlife crises.
“Ah, but Susie, you’re not alone.” His mouth dropped to cover hers.
Susan tried to melt into the kiss. She waited for the warmth to rise, for the blood to pulse through her veins like hot lava the way it had whenever James had kissed her.
His lips were soft and insistent, creating a warm and tender response she hadn’t expected. He pulled back first and stared down at her, his eyes searching for some answer she couldn’t give him.
She had to know for sure. She had to be certain whether the love she felt for James had destroyed any chance she would ever have to be happy with another man—to love another man. Pushing her arms around Daniel’s neck as he encircled her waist, she kissed him, giving him everything she could. Her soul was bared to him, and if he could ever be the man to fill the hole James had left behind, she would know when this kiss ended.
The growl coming from deep in his chest told her that he wanted to deepen the kiss. Opening her lips to the nudge of his tongue, Susan tried to accept him, to accept the affection he clearly had for her.
As her body replied, pressing against Daniel’s strong chest, confusion filled her thoughts. She liked kissing him, felt a draw for more. Did that make her a bad person, one who could respond to any man’s touch?
No. It was more than a simple response. Susan felt something for Daniel, and God help her, the confusion only grew worse as the kiss became openly carnal.
His hand covered her backside and pulled her hard against his hips, the hard proof of his attraction pressing against her. Could she follow through? Could she really allow another man to love her?
As he pulled back, Daniel sighed. “Oh, Susie. I want you, darlin’.”
“I…I want you too, Daniel. I just…I’ve never…been with…I’ve only had one lover.”
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
With a brusque nod, she tried to keep the tears from falling. They came anyway.
“You deserve better.”
“You don’t know him, Daniel. James is a good
man.”
“Good men don’t abandon their woman.”
She shook her head and sniffed back more tears. “It wasn’t all his fault. We both walked away.”
The hard look on his face told her he would never believe that. “Susie, I need some honesty from you.”
She nodded.
“I’m not a man who beats around the bush. I say what I think. I go after what I want. And what I want is for you to be my wife.”
When she started to shake her head, Daniel grabbed her chin again.
“Hear me out. I know you still love that varmint. God knows why, but I can see it in your eyes. The man has nothing to offer you. Put the past behind you, darlin’. Come be with me. Live at the Circle M with me. We can build a future together. I want you. I…I’m falling in love with you, Susie.”
It was agony to say the words, but she owed him the truth. “I don’t love you, Daniel.”
“Sometimes love takes time. What I’m asking is for you to keep an open mind and give me that time.”
Time. Did she have any to give him? Was Daniel her destiny? Was James? Was she stuck in River Bend in the nineteenth century for the rest of her life?
Susan needed to see her children so she could stop crying at night, worrying about what was happening to them without their parents to guide them. Did they think James and Susan had died? Were they grieving for their loss? Had Harry plucked any memories of their parents from their minds?
She wanted her house with its shower and electricity and telephone. She wanted to sleep on her pillow-top mattress. She wanted to get in her car, drive to the closest McDonald’s, and buy a Big Mac, large fries, and an enormous Diet Coke.
How could she marry one man when she loved another? “I can’t, Daniel. I can’t…I…I want to go home.” The sadness threatened to drag her down and drown her like a relentless undertow. Between her frustration and despair, she started to cry in big, choking sobs.
Pulling her to him, Daniel held her until the storm passed. By the time she found enough self-control to pull back, she saw that she’d soaked the front of his shirt. “I’m sorry. I ruined your shirt.”