Clouds overhead blocked moonlight. Stars peeked through gaps in the clouds and only the flame that was kept eternally burning outside the church sent any light into the village. It was quiet for the only people out at night were two guards that stood at the village gate, but the wooden wall that surrounded the village had a hole within it she knew and it was to this she ran. She needed no light and ran blindly. Falling to her knees before the hole she felt mud splatter her white nightdress but did not care. Crawling through she felt the nothing but fear and then she was up and running once more.
The forest was across a grass swathe, one hundred meters of green that kept the trees at bay and she ran across it. The tree line beckoned her, with its towering trees it promised safety though she knew not why. A sharp stone made her gasp as it cut the bottom of her foot but she continued running, tears falling from her face that had nothing to do with the pain coming from her foot.
Finally reaching the trees she pushed through the undergrowth, into foliage that seemed wilder at night. Sharp sticks and branches whipped at her, spiky thorns bit into her tender feet and she gasped in pain. Heart beating wildly she wanted to run back, to feel her parents arms around her but the bony woman would be there, waiting for her with its bloody lips and shiny skin.
She ran, ran until she could take no more and collapsing onto the ground she let her pain loose, crying in the night. “Heal her papa,” she whispered between sobs, and with her arms around pulled up knees she rocked gently back and forward as the sight of her mother vomiting blood played over and over in her head.
A soft huffing noise broke through her crying, and she looked up into the inky darkness of the forest. The trees around her seemed so big, the night so cold yet the ice inside her kept any fear at bay. Slowly a pair of eyes, dull green and shadowed appeared and as they came closer she saw a muzzle, teeth dripping with saliva and a coat that was as dark as the night she sat in.
“Mama is dying,” she whispered, her arms around her legs as the wolf came closer. Saying it out loud made it more real somehow and she started to cry again. She felt no fear of the wolf for all she could think about was the blood coming from her mother’s mouth, the skull that had looked at her and the bony hand that had reached out. “It’s not fair!” she shouted suddenly angry.
She felt her vision blur once more as tears continued to fall. She could hear more rustling around her and then felt a wet nose touch her hand. Wiping her eyes she saw green, as green as the leaves on the trees staring at her and a splash of silver, a sliver of the moon made real. The small wolf stood in front of her, its larger companion standing still watching carefully. Slowly the smaller wolf nudged at her and she unclasped her hands from around her knees. They were cold and moving a step closer the small wolf raised its head and licked her face.
She could feel its fur, warm and coarse against her fingers and as the lolling tongue licked her cheek she could feel its breath, warm against her. Throwing her arms around it Alice hugged it and began crying once more. The wolf pup rubbed its head against hers and they stayed like that for what seemed like forever.
Tightness pinched her arm and she looked up from the small wolf, her cheeks wet with tears. The larger wolf held her arm within its jaws and its eyes were duller, darker but filled with the same look her father often had. Gently the larger wolf pulled and she felt the power within the wolf’s jaws. Opening her arms she let the younger wolf free. It raised its head, licked her face once more and then turned, bounding away towards the trees.
Alice could feel the pointed teeth of the wolf as it refused to let go of her arm and Alice felt fear once more. Brighter, sharper than her fear of the grinning skull, she realized just how much danger she was in. “Please don’t kill me,” she whispered, “Papa can’t lose us both.”
The wolf tugged at her, its large jaw muscles refusing to let go and she got to her feet. Instantly the wolf released her from its jaws and moved its body powerful and sleek in the night. Walking a little way away it stopped, turned and looked back at her waiting. A nudge hit her in her back and she turned to see the small wolf pushing at her with its head and she stumbled forward. Again the larger wolf moved off and then stopped to look at her and she nodded as she suddenly understood.
Alice followed the large wolf as it led her through the forest. She had not realized how cold it was and she shivered, the ice within her slowly giving way to the night. Large trees loomed on either side of her and as their branches waved in the night’s breeze they produced shadows that danced alongside her. Her hand reached out, touched the small wolf that walked by her side and instantly any fear, any anxiety she felt disappeared at the touch of its fur against her skin.
Then the trees broke apart and she saw the village once more. The large wolf stood, tossed its head and its eyes stared into hers. Dropping to her knees Alice threw her arms around the small wolf once more. “Thank you,” she whispered hugging it tight before releasing it and running towards the hole in the boundary wall. Reaching the wall she looked back and saw the pair of wolves staring at her and with a wave she crawled through the wall once more.
Running back to her home she opened the door and found her father waiting for her. “Alice,” he whispered harshly reaching for her. “Don’t ever run off like that.” He looked down at her feet and shook his head. “Have you been in the forest?”
“Yes papa,” she said her eyes downcast. His hands went around her and he lifted her onto the stout wooden table in the middle of the room. Kneeling, his hands began to examine her feet and she winced as she felt him pull something from her flesh. “I saw it again Papa, I saw the wolf. It helped me get back.”
Getting to his feet he poured a bowl of water and began to clean her feet. “Alice, the forest is a dangerous place. There are things about the forest you do not know that make it so,”
Like the witch that lives deep inside it?” Alice looked down at him and saw him nod before he smiled sadly at her.
“Exactly like the witch. You are growing up now and I need you to be strong for me ok?” she nodded and he smiled, “Good. Now, you upset your mother running away like that. She is finally sleeping but in the morning I want you to apologize to her, understand.” Placing the water to one side he began to bandage her feet. “And you will be off these feet for at least two days. It looks like you will have to stay here and help me instead of playing with your friends,”
“Yes papa,” she said before wincing as he pulled the bandage tight. The forest isn’t dangerous she thought as he worked. The wolves will protect me. I know it.
Chapter 3
Alice sat on her bed wearing a soft pale blue dress. She said nothing, did nothing but waited for her father’s call. The cabin seemed so empty, so quiet even though she could hear whispering voices from downstairs. The whispers though would never be her mothers, not anymore, not since she had gone.
The door opened and closed and she heard footsteps upon the stairs before her father’s face appeared in her room. “Alice,” She watched as her father walked slowly towards her. “It is time for us to go.” Holding out his hand he waited for her to take it. “Let us go and say goodbye to your mother.”
“I don’t want to,” she looked at him with tears threatening to fall. Shaking her head she whispered “You can’t make me,” before staring down at the floor.
Her father knelt down in front of her and lifted her head so that he could look at her. “Alice, her body may be gone, but she will always be with us. Here,” he placed his fingers against her heart “As long as we carry her here, we will never be without her.”
“So why do we have to say goodbye?” She began to cry and was pulled into a hug. She felt her father’s large gentle fingers pressing against her back holding her close as she sobbed on his shoulder.
“Because this is the last chance you will get to see her, the last chance you will get to say goodbye.” He squeezed her once and then let her go. “Now, I need you to be a big brave girl for me today ok sapling?”<
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She nodded and he reached out his hand. Taking it she watched as he stood. “Good. Remember, this is only her body. That may go but no one can take her memory from us and if I know your mother, she will be watching over you always. Always remember, Alice, she loved you very much.”
Together they left the wooden cabin that now seemed so empty. Stepping out into the village she saw that all the other villagers waited for them. Walking slowly, walking hand in hand, they moved past the crowd and as they did the villagers turned, fell into step behind them and walked with them. With a procession for the dead following them, Alice and her father walked to the church that stood at the center of the village.
The flame outside the church burned as it always did. It was a stone building, the only one in the village with strong walls and a glass dome upon its roof. A metal dish filled with a liquid that only the church knew how to make, it was said it blazed with the celestials light. The doors opened as they approached and the village priest walked out slowly to meet them. His face looked on them kindly and reaching for her father Alice heard him say, “This is a sad day Georg. Anna was a fine woman and she will be sorely missed.”
She waited but her father said nothing, simply looking at the priest with eyes filled with tears. Bending down the priest smiled kindly at her, “Your mother will be looked after little one,” he said kindly, “The Celestials will welcome her into their hearts,” before he stood and with a pat on the shoulder to her father he looked at the assembled villagers and spoke.
“We have lost one of our own to a terrible illness. Today we say goodbye to her so that she may pass on to the Celestials. We send her knowing she was loved and will be missed but also knowing that the Celestials in their grace wait for her with open arms.” Turning he walked back into the church and Alice along with her father followed.
Sitting on a wooden bench Alice could see her mother lying on the altar. Dressed in purest white and covered with flowers she looked so beautiful. “Papa,” Alice whispered, “She will no longer hurt now?”
“No, she no longer feels any pain. I promise you, Alice, she is at peace.” She felt her father shake and looked up at his face she saw tears running down his face. Squeezing his hand she looked around, watched the other villagers filing into the church and then looked up through the expensive glass dome that allowed them to see the heavens, where the Celestials lived.
Sunlight streamed down, making her face hot and quickly she looked away. As the priest began to speak she tried to listen but could not help but stare at her mother. It had been six months since she had seen the skull. Now it was nowhere to be seen. Still, she expected her mother to move, to cough, to spit blood or vomit as she had done in the final days. Each time she had Alice had felt that fear once more, and now she wished she could feel it one more time.
Her father sat silently by her side. He said nothing, did nothing but sit. He did not say the prayers or sing the songs. He did not give thanks to the Celestials and finally, when the priest bade them he rose and taking her by the hand he whispered, “It is time Alice, let us go and say goodbye.”
Together they walked the few steps towards her mother and she reached up and took her hand. “Goodbye mama,” she whispered. Her mother felt cold to the touch, stiff and unwilling to bend and letting go of her hand Alice felt a tear run down her cheek.
Watching she saw her father bend over and kiss the lips of her mother one last time. “Goodbye my love,” he whispered. “There is no more pain like you asked. I will keep my promise to you I swear.” His voice choked and then he was turning and pulling Alice along with him.
As they walked along the aisle between the assembled villagers she heard furious whispers erupt from them all. “Georg,” she heard the priest call out. “Do you not want to stay for the final prayers?”
“Prayers did nothing to save her. Why would they do anything now?” Her father’s voice was tight and as they walked she saw the villagers turn their heads staring at them both, disapproving looks upon their faces. Then they were through the church’s doors and walking back to their home.
“Papa,” she queried and felt his hand grip her tightly. “Won’t the Celestials turn her away because we are not there to say the final prayers?”
They stopped in the middle of the empty village. He knelt down in front of her and his normally smiling face as solemn. “Listen to me, Alice. There are other ways to worship the Celestials and other ways to honor your mother’s wishes. I promised her I would make sure you could do leave this village when you were older if you wished and I will do just that. How would you like to learn to become a healer like me?”
“The priest says only the church can sponsor a proper healer. Would I have to go to the capital and train there?” She shook her head, “I don’t think I would like that papa.”
“The priest is wrong. The church may train healers here, but they are far from the only ones. I am not church trained and I have healed this village for twenty years now. No, if you wish I will teach you everything I know and with that knowledge you can go anywhere you wish.”
She nodded and he smiled. “Good. Now, let’s go home. Tomorrow your lessons will begin and we will honor your mother in that way rather than with doleful hymns and prayers to gods that do not listen.” Hand in hand they began to walk once more towards home.
That night Alice lay in her bed. She could hear her father weeping, the sound eerie and yet one she had heard before. Quietly she got out of bed, her spirit cold inside and pulling on a warm woolen dress and sturdy shoes she made her way downstairs quietly. Silently she slipped from her home and closing the door she ran for the wooden wall and the hole it contained. Slipping through it she ran silently towards the trees and disappeared into the night.
She walked in a straight line, feeling the trees under her hands as she went until finally she dropped to her knees and fell back against the tree. Sitting by a tree she closed her eyes and felt the forest around her. She had been told it was dangerous, yet she did not feel any danger from it. She just felt empty. “Where are you,” she said quietly, “I need you.”
As if the small wolf had heard her words bracken parted and the wolf’s head appeared. Its green eyes were bright in the night and around its maw was blood, as if it had just eaten. Looking at the small wolf Alice whispered, “I said goodbye to Mama today. She died. Papa couldn’t heal her. I thought he could heal anyone but all he could do was take her pain away.” Her eyes stung as tears threatened to fall and she whispered past a throat that was tight, “Did she not love me anymore?”
The wolf padded across the ground towards her, its small tongue lolling from its mouth as it panted. Reaching her it lay down at her side and placed its head in her lap. Slowly she stroked its head and let the tears come. They fell running down her cheek and falling upon the wolf’s head like rain and the small wolf let her cry until eventually it raised its head and stared at her.
“I miss her,” Alice whispered between sobs. “Why did they take her from us? They could have taken anyone but they took my Mama.” Reaching down she pulled the small wolf into a hug and felt its jaws against the crook of her neck, felt its breath on her skin. Its coarse dark fur rubbed against her and then she let it go.
“Thank you, my friend,” she whispered as the tears dried upon her face. “If you need me I will come for you. No matter what, I don’t want to lose anyone else.” She stared into the wolf’s green eyes and saw the understanding there. Here nearly seven-year-old face mustered all the seriousness she could as patted the ground three times as she had seen the older members of her village do and said “I swear it,”
The wolf stared at her and then it raised its paw and patted the ground following her example. Three times its paw came down on the hard muddy ground and then it barked once, high and strong.
“My papa is going to teach me how to be a healer like him. Maybe one day I could find a cure to the illness that took mama. I think she would like that.” Raising her hand Alice stroke
d the head of the wolf. “I had better go back. My father is weeping and needs me. I will come when I can I promise.” Standing she walked back towards the village and as she did she felt the wolf by her side like a protector.
As Alice crawled through the hole she missed the woman who stood next to her friend. Tall and slender she was dressed dark brown and green. Long blond hair fell down her back and sharp green eyes scanned the darkness easily. Hand ruffling the coarse black fur of the small wolf the woman whispered, “I know you will miss her, but I have seen your family are needed elsewhere. But you will see her again I promise. The forest heard your reckless vows and now your fates are now entwined.”
The small wolf looked up at the woman and she nodded. “Yes, if it means that much to you I will look over her whilst you are gone.” Then she shook her head, “I swear for a wolf that breaks the rules as much as you do we spoil you.”
As Alice reached for the door to her home a small howl echoed over the night. It was high, as her friend's bark. Yet it filled the air with the loss that she could not let escape. It echoed loudly, as if the wolf that sang was standing right next to her and Alice felt tears fall down her face as she listened to its music.
The door opened and her father whispered, “Alice, come in quick.” A hand reached for her and as he pulled her she stopped to listen one final time.
“Isn’t it beautiful papa,” she whispered. “One day I want to be a wolf so I can sing for mama like that.”
Chapter 4
“Walkers at the gate, there are Walkers at the gate!” The cry rang out from the village guards and Alice looked up from the bowl in which she was crushing herbs with interest.
Wolf Heart: Moon Born book 1 Page 2