“Do you want me to leave so you can change?” Lazlo asked.
“You could just stay up on your bunk,” I said.
“Yeah, okay.”
He pulled his head up over the edge, and I slid off my pants. I had a small pair of pajama shorts shoved in my bag, on the off chance I got to sleep comfortably, and I dug around for them.
Meanwhile, the whole bunk shook as Lazlo wriggled around, and I didn’t understand why until I saw his jeans drop over the side of the bed, followed by his tee shirt.
“Done!” Lazlo announced with some pride.
“I didn’t realize it was a race,” I muttered as I yanked on my shorts.
“Well, now you do,” he replied. “This isn’t so bad, right?”
I climbed underneath the covers. The bed, the pillow, and the sheet were all incredibly thin, but it was better than sleeping on the ground. And it felt better than sleeping at Korech’s ranch.
I looked over at the bed next to me, and based on her breathing, Harlow was already asleep. I think even she felt better here. Or she would, once she got past how she felt about losing Lia.
“I mean, you’re glad I talked you into staying the night?” Lazlo asked when I didn’t say anything.
“Yeah, I’m glad.”
“We can leave in the morning, and we’ll do better because we’re rested,” Lazlo said, almost cheerily, and my stomach knotted up.
I stared up at the bunk above me, where Lazlo was hidden on the other side. I had no intention of taking him, or anyone, with me tomorrow. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have the argument now, or first thing in the morning.
“You’re not coming with me tomorrow.” I grimaced and decided it would be better to get it out of the way.
“What?” The bed moved and his head appeared over the edge. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m going by myself tomorrow,” I reiterated and refused to look him in the eye.
“What? What the hell? Why?”
“Shh! Harlow is sleeping!” I said. I glanced over at her, and she moved a little, but I don’t think she woke up.
Lazlo turned around and dropped to the ground, wearing only his boxers. He had tangles of ivy tattooed across his hips and lower abdomen, and the lyrics from one of his songs scrawled across his chest. I didn’t want to notice him shirtless so I kept my eyes fixed on the bunk above me.
When he crouched down next to me, he leaned his arms on my bed so his face was right next to mine.
“You’re leaving by yourself?” Lazlo sounded a little hurt. Which was really stupid, since leaving by myself was in his best interest. He’d be safer here.
“It’s safe here. This is a nice place.” I motioned to the bunks. “It’s not so bad.”
“Yeah, for a night.” Lazlo backpedaled on his earlier proclamation.
“Oh, come on. You know you’re not gonna find a place much better than this. This is damn near paradise.”
“There’s a raving band of marauders who might gun us down,” he pointed out. “Most other places only have zombies. So that makes it a little worse.”
“Maybe. I just think that I should go by myself. After what happened today, I just…” I trailed off, unwilling to articulate exactly what I felt.
“This is about Lia?” Lazlo asked, much louder than I would’ve liked.
He wasn’t shouting by any means, but Harlow was right there. She twitched and moaned in her sleep, the way she usually did, and I looked over at her. I did not want to her to hear anything about Lia. It would only upset her more.
“Come on,” I sighed and got up.
I was in pajamas, and this place was a maze, so I didn’t go very far. On the other side of the room, close to where Vega slept, I stopped and leaned up against a wall between two bunks.
“So this is about Lia?” Lazlo put one of his hands on the top bunk, leaning on it, and watched me.
“She got killed today because of me.” My voice miraculously stayed even, but a pain grew in my chest. “I never should’ve let her leave Korech’s ranch.”
“Oh, come on,” Lazlo scoffed. “That guy was a total sicko, and you know it. Besides that, you didn’t ‘let’ her do anything. It was her choice.”
“No, you said it yourself. Survival has a different price. She was safe there! Maybe Korech was a perv. But if she had stayed there, she’d still be alive today.”
“Maybe,” he allowed. “But maybe she would’ve died anyway. Who knows? But it was her choice to leave. She didn’t want to be there, and you didn’t have any more right to force her to stay there than you do me.”
“I’m not gonna let you follow me around and get yourself killed.” Frustrated tears stung my eyes, and I hated it. “I got her killed today, and I won’t do that to you.”
“I liked Lia,” Lazlo said gently. “She was a really nice girl, and I am sad that she’s gone. But you can’t blame yourself for her death just because it hurts.”
“I blame myself because it’s my fault!” I insisted. “I never should’ve let her leave the ranch. And when she was dying, I didn’t even go out to her. I let her die alone.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away as quickly as I could.
“Hey.” Lazlo reached out to touch my shoulder, and I pulled away, so he let his hand fall. “None of that is your fault. You risked your life to stay back and cover us so we could get away. And when she was dying, you were saving Harlow’s life.
“You saved Harlow’s life today, and mine, and Blue’s and Vega’s. You can’t forget that. But you can’t save everybody all the time.”
“I know that,” I nodded, swallowing hard. “That’s why I don’t want you to go with me.”
“Is everything okay?” Blue asked. I hadn’t noticed him walking over to us, and I rubbed my hands on my cheeks to dry them.
“Yeah, it’s great,” I replied quickly.
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Blue looked between Lazlo and I, both of us just in our pajamas.
“No, of course not,” I shook my head.
“I checked things out, and they have a doctor, a vet, and three nurses here,” Blue said. “So they’re pretty well staffed in that regard. I want to keep going with you to the quarantine. I know they have larger medical facilities, but they have a larger population too. I think I could really be of help there.”
“Yeah, okay.” I nodded. “I wanna leave tomorrow.”
“All right,” Blue gestured to his bed by Harlow’s. “I’m gonna go get some sleep. And I’ll leave you two… to it.” He offered a smile, then walked back over to his bed, with Lazlo staring after him.
“What was that?” Lazlo turned back to me.
“What?” I asked, confused by his shift in emotion.
“He asks to come with you, and you say ‘sure?’” Lazlo raised an eyebrow.
“He has a good reason,” I said. “And I don’t have to spend all my time worrying about him.”
“So…” Lazlo grinned, and I knew that I had said something wrong. “You worry about me?”
“Yeah, because you’re an idiot and you’re gonna get yourself killed.” I tried to put him back in his place, but his smile only faded a little. “Why do you even wanna come with me, anyway? This place has everything you need.”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. For a moment, he lowered his gaze, looking thoughtful. “I guess it just never occurred to me that I wouldn’t go with you.”
“That is not a good enough reason. It’s not even a reason at all.”
“You need me,” Lazlo said finally, his dark eyes meeting mine. “Yeah, I know you’ve saved my life and gotten my back before, but I’ve saved you, too. You can’t do this alone. And I’m going with you.”
“Lazlo…” I tried to think of an argument against that, and he leaned in closer to me. I wanted to back up and move away, but I was against the wall.
“You wanna get your kid brother? You’re gonna need back up. The way I see it, you don’t have a c
hoice.” He looked at me so intently that it made me short of breath.
“We should get to bed,” I managed eventually, my voice sounding weaker than I liked. “If we’re gonna leave in the morning.”
“Right on,” Lazlo grinned broadly, as if he’d won something worth winning.
As I slid past him to walk back to bed, I glanced over to where Vega knelt next to her bed, praying. Her chant-like prayers didn’t sound so much like words as grunts. Her back was to me, but she appeared to be shaking. Lia’s death must’ve gotten to her more than I thought.
“Vega?” I asked, stepping closer to her. “How are you holding up-”
I froze when I realized she wasn’t shaking because she was crying. She was eating her pillow, tearing into it like a rabid dog.
“Shit,” I whispered, taking a step back. “Lazlo, run.”
“What?” Lazlo asked. He’d been standing behind me, and he didn’t move, even though I told him to. “What’s wrong with Vega?”
At the sound of her name, Vega turned towards us. Her eyes had already yellowed, and drool and stuffing were stuck to her mouth. She was a zombie, and brand new, so she was strong as hell.
“Run!” I shouted, and Vega jumped up.
We were in a bedroom without weapons, and I had to think fast. I pushed her bunk forward, knocking it down on her, but she could get it off her if she really tried. Her bones and muscles were too strong, and I couldn’t fight her with my bare hands.
Thankfully, Lazlo ran away, but I stayed where I was, watching Vega.
“I have something!” Lazlo shouted, running up behind me.
“What?” I glanced back at him, afraid to take my eyes off Vega.
“A weapon.” Lazlo held up a silver meat cleaver. “I took it when we were at Korech’s and hid it under my bed in case he tried to kill me.”
Just as Vega started pushing the bunk off, I ran and jumped on it, holding it down. The top bunk pressed against her chest, pinning her down, and her feet were tangled up with the bed and blankets from the bottom bunk.
“Lazlo, use the cleaver!” I shouted. Vega bucked against the bed, and I wasn’t sure how long I could hold her down.
“On what?” Lazlo asked, staring down at Vega and me with confused dismay.
“Take off her head!” I commanded.
Vega snarled and spit, making that familiar death groan. Lazlo stood by her head, and she freed one arm so she could reach out for his legs. He looked uncertain for a second, but when her fingers latched onto his ankle, he swung in surprise.
The cleaver sliced into her neck, making blood splatter out. He didn’t go through her spine though, and Vega was still alive, snarling and convulsing. Lazlo raised the cleaver again, and this time, he brought it down with enough force to take off her head.
“Good job,” I said.
“Thanks.” Lazlo was still catching his breath, staring down at Vega’s corpse. “I told you that you needed me.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.” I turned back to the room.
Harlow was wide awake, hiding behind a bunk, and Blue stood in front of her bed, shielding her.
“What happened?” Harlow asked.
“The zombie must’ve gotten her today when it attacked her.” I wiped blood off my brow with the back of my arm.
“That was really fast,” Lazlo commented, coming up behind me.
“Sometimes it happens that way.” I shrugged. “You never can tell.”
London and Sam came in a few moments later to make sure we were okay. They’d heard the commotion down the hall. Sam took Vega’s body out, and London explained that they burned all the infected bodies they found.
Hope came in a little after they left to wipe everything down with bleach and clean up the mess we’d made. She sent Lazlo and me down to the tub room to clean up. They had no showers, but they had a claw foot tub they filled with water from a hose. It was too cold to climb in, so Lazlo and I stood next to it, washing ourselves with rags.
When we went back to the room, Hope had already gone, and the room had been set right. Harlow lay in her bed with her covers pulled up to her chin, but she was wide awake. I got in my own bed without saying anything and tried to get comfortable.
“Do you think Vega’s in heaven?” Harlow asked me.
“I don’t know,” I said and rolled over, so my back was to her.
I slept horribly all night, even though I was exhausted. I tossed and turned, and I had horrible nightmares about Vega, Lia, and Beck. I had been trying not to think about Beck at all, since that was my policy when people died, but Lazlo had brought up all sorts of feelings about him.
When I woke, Harlow was still asleep. I went out to get some breakfast, figuring that stale toast with squirrel meat sounded better than nothing.
Still munching on the horrible dry toast, I made my way back to the room, almost getting lost in the process. Harlow was awake and ready for the day. She changed into a clean skirt with a sweater, and her hair was up.
I would’ve taken this all as a good sign if she weren’t hurriedly packing her bag. Lazlo sat on my bed across from her, looking sheepish.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I gulped down the rest of my toast.
“I’m going with you,” Harlow said without looking up.
“Sorry,” Lazlo smiled meekly at me.
“Why did you tell her?” I snapped, and he shrunk back a little.
“She heard me talking to Blue.”
“It doesn’t matter how you know,” I decided. “Harlow, you can’t come with.”
“It’s not open for discussion,” she said.
“Um… yeah. Exactly.” I was thrown off by her reaction. “You’re not coming with. End of story.”
“No, I am coming with. End of story.” She finally looked up at me.
Her blue eyes were almost too big for her face, but not in a bad way. It just made her look younger and more innocent, although, right now, her resolution made her look older.
“There’s no way I’m letting you come with.” I brushed past her to get to my bed. With my back to her, I packed up my own stuff.
“This isn’t a jail. They won’t keep me prisoner here. If you leave, there’s nothing to stop me from leaving right after you. And I will,” she threatened. “Whether you take me with you or not, I am not staying here. If I have to go out on my own, so be it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s suicide.” I shoved my clothes into my bag.
“Maybe,” she replied simply.
“Really?” I turned back to her. “You’d get yourself killed just to spite me?”
“Not to spite you.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not getting left behind. If anyone can survive the end of the world, it’s you, so I’m safer with you than anywhere else.”
“That’s not even true,” I shook my head. “Everyone around me dies! Sommer, and then Lia yesterday. And my brother…” I swallowed and busied myself with my bag so she couldn’t see my reaction. “No. It’s dangerous and stupid. Here is the safest place.”
“If it’s so great here, then why don’t you stay?” Harlow countered.
“You know why I can’t stay.” I zipped my bag shut and turned back to her. “I have to find-”
“Your little brother, yeah, yeah,” she cut me off. “You do realize he’s with the army, right? I mean, that’s why you’re running across the country, fighting zombies and cult leaders. So you can get to a government run facility surrounded by armed soldiers. To rescue your brother.”
“I’m not rescuing him,” I rolled my eyes. “He’s just a little kid, and I need to be with him.”
“Why?” Harlow asked. I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder, preparing to storm out, but she blocked my path. “Remy, you know it doesn’t make sense. Either he is safe, and you can’t protect him any better than he already is, or he never made it to the quarantine, and there’s nothing you can do.”
“It doesn’t matter! I need to know he’s safe! I ca
n’t just hope for the best and forget about him!” I threw my hands up on the air, exasperated. Fighting about this would only waste more time. “Fine. Whatever. You wanna come with and get yourself killed, that’s your problem.”
“Wait. So, we’re leaving right now?” Lazlo asked when I started walking away, and in reply, I kept walking. “But I’m not ready! Hold on!”
I heard him scrambling behind me, but I didn’t stop. I shouldn’t even be letting them go with me. They would only slow me down, and they’d probably just end up dead or infected.
I couldn’t even figure out why they wanted to leave the safety of the compound. I wouldn’t. But some things mattered more than safety, and for me that was Max.
“I’m not gonna get myself killed,” Harlow said as she caught up to me. Her thin legs carried her surprisingly fast, especially considering the clunky footwear she insisted on. “I just won’t be left behind.”
“I don’t know what you think you’re being left behind from, but trust me, it’s way better than what I’m doing.”
Lazlo ran up behind us, already out of breath, and we hadn’t even left yet. Before leaving, I found Blue talking with London. He once again reminded us that we were free to stay on, and I encouraged both Lazlo and Harlow to take him up on that.
London offered to help us out. He gave us another shotgun and some ammunition, and then he gave us the best gift ever: a vehicle. They had stockpiled several cars and trucks, and he figured they could spare one. Admittedly, it was a beaten up old station wagon with brown paneling, but it was much better than walking.
The car was hidden in an old carriage house in the woods behind the compound. The marauders had a tendency to damage or take anything they wanted, so London and Sam stored and hid anything of value. They rarely used vehicles anyway, since it made them more conspicuous to marauder attacks.
Sam led us through the intricately linked hallways, so we exited through an entirely different set of doors than the ones we came in. Like the cellar doors, a few strategically placed bushes all but blocked the doorway.
When I slid by, the branches stung at my skin, making me acutely aware of the ramifications of having an open wound. I had gone out first, after Sam, and I pushed the branches back with my arm, waiting until everyone else made their way out.
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