Reflections

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Reflections Page 14

by Susan Griscom


  Ella came in balancing a tray on her hand, sporting two bottles of beer and bowls of nuts and pretzels. She handed one bottle to Gerry, took a swig from the other before handing it to his dad, then set the tray with the snacks down on the rectangular table in the center of the room. “Help yourself. I figured you might be hungry after traveling all this way from, um, is it the United States?”

  “Yeah, and thanks. Oregon to be exact.” He decided not to go into the actual short trip he’d taken with Cael; they’d never understand anyway.

  “Is that so? Oregon?” She smiled and the room fell silent as they all sat, staring at one another. His dad’s eyes narrowed and Gerry braced himself for the condemnation he’d been dreading as Ella patted Patrick’s knee before standing. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone to catch up. I do believe I promised Darla that I’d help her with some quilting stitches today. It’s been a real pleasure finally meeting you, Gerry. Perhaps I’ll see you a bit later, then?”

  “Right, a pleasure.” Gerry stood and nodded to her as she walked out the front door and he and his father were once again forced into silence.

  Sitting back down, Gerry said, “So, when did you get married?”

  “Ah, going on ten years now. That woman changed my life.”

  Gerry forced a smile and took a pull on the beer. “I see that.”

  “We … ah … tried to find you back then, so you could attend the service. It wasn’t big or anything, but there were a few people, mostly Ella’s family. We didn’t want a large celebration but since it was the first for both of us, we decided to go for more than just a civil service.”

  “What?” Gerry almost choked on his ale.

  “You know how it is with women. They want their first and hopefully only marriage ceremony to be nothing short of spectacular, no matter the size of the wedding.”

  “No, I mean, you said it was the first for both of you.”

  “Yeah, that’s right.”

  “What about my mother?”

  “The witch. What about her?” Patrick scoffed. “No offense.”

  “None taken. You said this was your first marriage.”

  “No. First ceremony, not marriage. Your mother and I weren’t married very long, not really long enough to call it a marriage. We divorced about six months after you were born, but I convinced her to stick around until you were a little older.”

  “Oh. How come I didn’t know this?”

  “Don’t know. Guess it never came up.”

  “What the fuck? Never came up? Bollocks. You didn’t think something like that would be important to tell me?”

  “Now look here, Gerry, you were young when she left. I knew she had no intention of sticking around after you were born. I’m surprised I talked her into staying as long as she did. No point in telling you things you didn’t need to know.”

  “You told me she didn’t want me. If you could tell me that, why not the rest?”

  “Well, I shouldn’t have told you that either. Nothing good ever came from it—only made you feel bad and I’m sorry for that. Parents don’t always do what’s right. I never wanted you to feel bad. I was hurting, but I had no right to make you suffer too. I only wanted the best for you. You know I love ya.” He fell silent for a beat, stared in Gerry’s eyes. “Always have, never stopped.”

  Gerry inhaled deeply and took a swig of his beer then looked at his dad and slightly nodded.

  “When you left,” his pop continued, “I moped around for a few years—hung out at the pub a bit too much before and after hours. One morning, that lovely creature walked in and asked for a job. My life changed that day. You see, from the time you were born, I wanted a good life for you. I didn’t want you working in the pub with your old man. You were made for better, more important things, I thought. But Ella made me realize those were my dreams, not yours. You had to live your own life, have your own dreams. I wanted to take back everything we’d said to each other the day you left. You were right. I was wrong.”

  Gerry set the bottle down on the table and stood, walked to the kitchen and paced back again to stand in front of his father. “You were a good pop.” He nodded again when his dad looked up at him and Gerry shrugged before adding. “Aside from those couple of things.”

  Patrick stood and threw his arms around Gerry and they stood embracing each other for a good thirty seconds or so. It felt good. The heaviness that weighed on Gerry’s shoulders for years suddenly vanished. He’d been harboring such animosity toward his father all these years. The old man made mistakes, but his pop never deserved the total renouncement. He was a good man.

  They sat back down and both took up their beers again and sipped.

  “Pop.”

  “Yeah, son.”

  “I have something to tell you.”

  “I knew it. I knew there had to be some reason why you came home. You’re not sick, are you?”

  Gerry shook his head.

  “Thank God. Don’t tell me you’re running from the law instead of practicing it. I’m here to help but I don’t think I’m in a position to do much about that sort of trouble.”

  “Pop, stop. It’s not bad news.”

  “Oh.” He sat back, relaxed his shoulders. “Okay then. Let’s have it.”

  “I’m going to be a father.”

  “Holy hell, that’s great news! When is your wife due?”

  ***

  “What’s wrong, Maia?” Addie’s voice startled her. Maia had been sitting at the bar nursing the same club soda all afternoon, daydreaming and waiting for Gerry to come back from seeing his father. Most all the customers were gone this time of day and the jukebox played a soft, soothing melody. Maia rubbed her hand gently over her womb where the babies had been rolling around most of the morning, hoping the music helped the twins relax, because she was a jumble of nerves.

  “Nothing. Why?”

  “No reason. It’s just that you’re going to make a permanent impression around the edge of that glass if you keep rubbing your finger around it that way.”

  “Sorry. You’re right. I’m surprised it’s not playing a tune.”

  “Ha. That would mean it was crystal and no offense, but I don’t think Gerry is the type to have crystal glasses in his bar.”

  “Did Cael mention when he thought he and Gerry might be back?”

  “No. Are you worried?”

  “Yeah, a little.”

  “What about?” Addie asked as she filled a glass with water for herself, then walked around the bar to sit on the stool next to Maia. “We haven’t talked for awhile. What’s up?”

  “Well, you know Gerry hasn’t seen his father in about twenty years, so I am a little concerned about how it’s going.”

  “The way I see it, Gerry is his son and unless Gerry committed murder or something, his father is going to be happy to see him.”

  “I suppose you’re right. It’s an unconditional love that parents have for their kids. You know, I feel it already.”

  Addie narrowed her eyes. “Well, I’ll have to take your word on that.”

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.”

  “Don’t give me that. I know you. Don’t you want kids?”

  “I don’t know. Cael does.”

  “But you don’t?”

  “I haven’t given it much thought.”

  Addie sipped her water, averting her eyes from Maia the way she did whenever she didn’t want to tell her something. Maia knew Addie too well to let her get away with it. “You’re hiding something from me.”

  Addie sighed. “Maia, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m here if you change your mind.” Maia didn’t want to pressure Addie, never had. She knew Addie would tell her eventually if she simply waited.

  “It’s just that Cael wants to have kids really soon,” Addie began, not skipping a beat, as Maia hoped she would. “We’re not even married yet, and he is talking about kids. In fact
, he started talking about making babies even before he asked me to marry him. Don’t you find that peculiar? And why does he want them so soon? Why can’t it just be the two of us for a while?”

  “Huh.” Maia fingered the two-carat, pear-shaped diamond ring on Addie’s left hand. “Maybe Cael is taking his cues from Gerry, since we haven’t taken that next step yet either. I guess we aren’t the best role models.”

  “You know, I hadn’t thought about that. I just always considered Gerry family and thought of you two as already being married, but now that you mention it, are you and Gerry going to get married? Don’t you want to?”

  “It’s not that. It’s just … the subject hasn’t really come up.”

  “What does that mean? Just tell him you should get married. Of course Gerry will want to marry you. I’m no expert, but some men, I think, just don’t realize what they are supposed to do in certain situations like yours—just what the natural sequence of events are, or know what to say or how, you know? He probably just needs to have the idea planted in his thick skull, a little nudge. You know he’s crazy about you.”

  “Is he? Really? I’m not so sure. I mean he says it all the time, but those are just words. Don’t get me wrong, he treats me better than any man could treat a woman, but I just think that if he truly loved me, he would have wanted to make more of a commitment.”

  “Well, I know. He loves you more than life itself. He turned into a complete basket case, a real jelly sandwich, when we couldn’t find you.”

  “I can’t tell him or ask him about it. It has to come from him and be his idea. If I ask, then I’ll feel like I’ve trapped him into it by getting pregnant, which I did not. You do know that, right? Everybody knows that, right?” Maia asked, her voice sounding a little too paranoid about what people thought. That wasn’t really her, but she worried for the twins’ sake. Sometimes other mothers say things, hurtful things. Their children overhear and repeat them on the playground, not realizing how cruel they can be.

  “Of course. Nobody thinks you did it on purpose.”

  Maia shook her head. “I’m such an idiot. I never should have let this happen.” She grabbed Addie around her wrist. “Please, don’t you go mentioning anything to him, either. At this point, even if he does ask, I’m not so sure I’d say yes.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because, deep down in my heart I know he’d only be asking because of the babies. It would feel like entrapment. I didn’t plan this pregnancy and I don’t want that to be the reason we get married. So promise me you won’t say anything.” When Addie nodded, Maia added, “Not even to Cael.”

  Addie rolled her eyes. “Jeez, okay, I promise,” she said, making the sign of the cross over her heart and holding up three fingers. “Scouts honor.”

  Maia shook her head, smiling. “You were never a Girl Scout.”

  Addie laughed. “I know. What’s up with that anyway? I would have made a fantastic Girl Scout. Just think of all the campfire badges I could have won.”

  “It’s a good thing you didn’t learn of your powers until recently. You would have been a dangerous little girl.”

  Addie scoffed. “Paleeease, give me a little more credit. I think I would have learned to control myself.”

  “I suppose. Now, tell me why you are scared to have kids.”

  “Who says I’m scared?”

  “Me. I know you. Remember, I can tell when you’re hiding something.”

  Addie shrugged. “It’s not that I’m scared to have kids so much, it’s that … I’m scared to have a baby with Cael. There I’ve said it.”

  “I thought you loved Cael.” Trying to hide her shock, Maia picked up her soda and took a sip as Addie responded.

  “Oh, don’t get me wrong. I do love Cael and I really do want to have his baby someday, but exactly what that involves is what frightens me. I mean, would the baby have his powers or mine? Or both? That is a scary thought. A baby with all that power could really do some damage and what if it teleported somewhere and got lost? How do we keep that under control?”

  “Babies aren’t born with the capability to use their powers, you know that. They never have been, believe me; I have done some research on this. Red sent me a couple books and every one I’ve read on the subject confirms it.”

  In truth, the idea of her babies being able to project their possible powers to Maia so that she could conjure a vision of herself from the future, and the way Gerry had also heard a voice, had Maia obsessing on the subject. She’d recently spent many nights lying awake worrying about it, so she contacted Red and asked for some books on the development of children with powers. Although every book did say that babies were not capable of using any abilities until they were at least three or four, there were always exceptions to the rule.

  “What about Breena? She began using her gifts at three years old.”

  “I asked Red about Breena. Her gifts were mild at three and I believe he said she only had one occurrence, one glimpse of something about to happen and then nothing until she was five or six.” Of course, who could really confirm what Breena saw and how much she actually spoke about? Maia wondered just how much the “experts” really knew about babies and abilities. Could her twins really be projecting some telepathy through her? She had no gifts of her own, no super powers like her brother since it was her mother’s gene that got passed down. Who decided that anyway? Was it God’s way of ensuring survival of the fittest? To make the world more balanced?

  As if Addie had read Maia’s thoughts, she said, “But how do they really know? I think it would be difficult for Breena to remember whether or not she saw the future at such a young age.”

  “Maybe, but I have to go with the documentations. Besides, you never showed any telekinetic signs nor were you ever able to project a stream of fire from your fingertips until you were an adult. How old was Cael when he first teleported?”

  “Twelve.”

  “See? And Gerry was thirteen when he first learned of his gifts. We can drive ourselves insane thinking and worrying about it, Addie,” Maia said, maybe more to convince herself but she still didn’t want fear of the unknown to keep Addie from having a child. Maia placed her hand over her stomach, a habit she’d taken up whenever she thought about the twins. The love she already felt for them coursed through her veins and planted itself deep inside her heart.

  “I suggested that Breena come and stay with us for a while. I thought maybe by having her here I might start to like the idea of having a kid around, a kid with powers. Cael agreed and he’s going to set it up. Maia, it’s not that I don’t like kids, I love kids, and I love Breena. She’s bright, sensitive, and adorable. I’m just … well, there’s no getting around it, you’re right, I’m a little more than worried about having a baby.”

  “It’s perfectly okay to be apprehensive. I’m a little jittery about it myself. I think even a normal pregnancy is a bit scary. But I also know the joy that accompanies it is far greater than the fear. I think having Breena visit is an excellent idea. I could help out too. Breena could stay with me while you’re working if Cael get’s busy. I’d love to have her company. I’m home alone so much.”

  “Really? You think it’s a good idea, then?”

  “Certain. She’ll bring a nice change to things around here.”

  Chapter 16

  A Compelling Revelation

  Fog swept in from the ocean, and the room darkened as if some evil spirit loomed overhead, casting an eerie shadow where Gerry sat stupefied facing his father’s questioning stare. The gloomy weather had always suited him. Maybe that’s why he liked living along the Oregon coast.

  Wife? Gerry opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it, not really knowing what to say. His pop wanted to know when his wife was due. Of course, he knew when the babies would come, but the word “wife” tied up his tongue like it was an old knotted shoelace. Would Maia want to be his wife? Would she even consider marrying him?

  “Gerry? Are you okay? You seem
a little pale. When’s the last time you ate?” Reaching across the sofa, his father flipped a switch on the wall. The lights below the fan in the middle of the ceiling brightened the room and he noticed the faint lines at the corners of his dad’s eyes as he handed Gerry the bowl of nuts. “Here, have some. You want a sandwich?”

  “Nah, I’m fine. I uh … the babies are due August seventh, or there abouts.”

  “And your wife, when did you get married and what’s her name?”

  “Um … Pop?”

  “Yeah? What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not married … we’re not married, Maia and me. Her name is Maia.”

  “Not married? I don’t understand. You get some poor girl that way and you don’t marry her? And she’s okay with that? I didn’t raise you not take responsibility for your actions.”

  Gerry scratched his head. “No. No. It’s not like that.”

  “Then tell me, what is it like?”

  “I love her. She loves me. I am taking responsibility. I’m there supporting her every step of the way. I … we … never talked about marriage.” Why did he suddenly feel like a high school kid, confessing his promiscuous sins to his father after getting some girl pregnant? Maia and he were definitely not high school age and he’d never really thought marriage was necessary.

  “I suggest you get to talking, boy. Before that baby is born.”

  “Babies.”

  “What?”

  “Babies. They’re twins.”

  “Twins, huh? Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch.” Gerry thought he detected a slight twitch in his dad’s lips before he swiped the smirk away with the back of his hand and said, “Christ, Gerry, what’s gotten into you? Bringing a baby or uh, babies into this world without being married … I guess I’m just old fashioned. Even though your ma and I split shortly after, you were legitimate at least.”

 

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