by Cheree Alsop
“Me, too,” Jaze replied in a tone laced with regret. “Jet didn’t want to hit him, but he put up a struggle at leaving the rest of the werewolves.”
“That’s Vance,” Nora said with such aching familiarity the last hold of unconsciousness drifted away. I opened my eyes to see the blond-haired werewolf sitting on a chair next to Nora. His black-haired friend, Jet, leaned against the door jamb with his arms crossed. His eyes flicked to mine and he eased to a standing position. Nora blinked and tears shone in her eyes. “I can’t believe my father did this. I didn’t want Vance to get hurt. It’s all my fault. I hate the thought of other werewolves experiencing what he did.”
Jaze’s voice was touched with understanding, “I wouldn’t have left them, but I couldn’t risk my team to get anyone else out. We risked more than our lives going down there. If we were caught-”
“What?” Nora asked when he stopped talking.
He glanced at his friend, then followed his gaze to me. “Well, looks like we got him out alive after all.” He gave me a friendly smile and motioned for Nora to turn around.
Nora stood and the tears that had pooled in her eyes overflowed. She knelt by my side. Her hands hovered over me for a moment as though she wanted to hug me but didn't know how to do so without hurting me. She settled for taking one of my hands. “You're awake, and you're here. I can't believe you're here.” Her tears ran down her cheeks and fell on my hand.
I rose on my elbows and kissed her; she started in surprise, then returned the kiss with a longing and relief my soul echoed. “I missed you,” I said when I finally pulled back.
She stared at me as though she didn't know what to say. “I'm so sorry,” she began, but I cut her off.
“Don't apologize. I know you had nothing to do with it. Believe me, your father cleared that up many times.” I sat up gingerly and she rose anxiously as though she should help but didn't know how. I took her hand and held it. “I'm alright.” Her eyes ran over the charred, healed skin that striped my chest. I took her chin gently in my free hand and moved her eyes to meet mine. “It's not as bad as it looks, trust me. I don't really have much pain right now except for a splitting headache.” I shot Jet a glance and he met my gaze directly. Surety of his own strength wafted from him and I knew he had to be another Alpha by his unflinching manner. Alphas were scarce. Besides being at Two, it was strange to find even this many working together.
“It could have gone smoother,” Jaze replied. “We didn't plan on having to knock you out to get you out of there.”
My heart clenched at the thought of the werewolves I had left behind. “We’ve got to rescue them.” I glanced around and found that we were in a small room in a house that smelled of werewolves, humans, and the unmistakable odor of gunpowder and iron. By the scent of other werewolves who had stayed in the room for short periods of time, I guessed we were in one of Jaze’s safe houses. It felt surreal and wrong to be safe when the others were still trapped at Lobotraz. I rose from the bed and stood a moment to let the brief dizziness pass.
“Where are you going?” Nora asked.
“I can't relax here while they're suffering.”
Jaze blocked my path and when I moved to walk past him, he put a hand on my chest. “You're not in any shape to help anyone,” he pointed out.
At my look, he dropped his hand, but didn't move out of the way. “I'm in better shape then they are. I can't leave them there!”
His eyes met mine with sympathy. “I understand what you're going through, trust me. Freeing werewolves and helping them return to their homes is what I do.” His gaze darkened. “We've been searching for the entrance to Lobotraz for months. When Nora contacted us, she made us agree to look for you immediately if she gave us the info we were lacking. We upheld our end of the agreement, but also found out how under prepared we were to storm the place.”
“That doesn't matter,” I said stubbornly. I heard myself, but the image of Gem hunched in a dark corner in pain after pointless interrogations refused to leave my mind. Nora’s hand slipped into mine and I longed for a brief moment that it was Gem’s. The thought surprised me.
“It does.” Jaze frowned slightly, his brown eyes dark. “I'm not going to risk my pack or our support if we can get through this without putting lives in danger.”
“Lives are already in danger,” I said quietly.
“And we're preparing to rescue them. I need you to trust me and give me the time I need to gather additional information.”
He held my eyes until I finally nodded. It wasn't until he turned away that I noticed Jet had fallen silently back to my left side to easily defend Jaze if I became a threat.
The red-eyed werewolf came to the door. “Jaze, there’s a problem with Jerome’s pack. He’s wondering if he could speak to you.”
Jaze nodded and glanced at me as if he wanted to say something, then he gave me a smile and turned away. I watched until they left through the door and closed it behind them, then I sank onto the bed and buried my head in my hands.
“We'll go back,” Nora promised softly. She brushed my unruly hair from my face with gentle fingers. “We've got to stop my dad.”
“He's a cruel man,” I replied quietly.
Her fingers traced one of the many black scars across my back. “Did he do this to you?” Her voice carried pain at the thought, but also defiance as though she needed to know.
I nodded without speaking. She put her forehead against my back and I relished the touch of her breath against my bare skin. “I can't let him do it to others.”
“I know,” she breathed. “I feel the same way.”
The touch of her hand against my skin brought back memories of Gem’s small hand held in mine, my arm wrapped in tattered cloths to prevent it from being burned by the silver bars. The thought of holding her hand each night had kept me going. I felt like I betrayed her now, feeling Nora’s reassuring touch while she was still beaten and tortured. One part of my heart ached for that hand in mine again. The feelings warred against each other, confusing my motivations and what I thought I knew about myself. I shoved the emotions deep down and allowed myself for that instant to just be safe.
We sat in silence for several moments and I pushed away all feelings of guilt, the lingering pain that never left my scars and the ache in my side, and the fear of what was happening to Gem. I took a deep breath and lived just for the brush of Nora’s lips against my back, the way her long black hair tickled my skin, the subtle scent of vanilla and sunflowers that complemented her spring green eyes. The fact that I was surrounded by her scent made it feel real, like I was home. Except my home had let me down.
The moment of no regrets faded at the thought of Two. “Where're the werewolves from Two? Did you talk to them when I was taken?”
She was silent so long I sat up and turned to face her. A pit formed in my stomach at the look on her face. She stared at me for a minute, then shook her head and dropped her eyes. “I tried, but they gave up when they couldn't find you.”
I forced my voice to remain steady. “They gave up,” I repeated in a neutral tone. “How long did they look?”
“A week,” Nora said so softly I could barely hear her. “When they gave up, I went looking for Jaze.”
Rage filled my veins. I pictured myself two weeks ago at the time they stopped looking, beaten, starving, and still hanging onto the hope that they would come. I had given them everything, safety, a life of freedom, education, training, security, camaraderie, and a group of friends to act as a pack, and in return they couldn't bother themselves to look longer than the length of a spring vacation for the one who had given them their world.
I pushed up from the bed.
“Where are you going?” Nora asked.
“Two. I have some things to take care of.”
Her hand slipped into mine. “We'll go together.”
I wanted to argue, but her fingers felt so good entwined with mine that I merely nodded and led the way.
***
The hurt and rage that started at Jaze's safe house built during the long drive. When we reached the bottom of the red rocks and the trail that branched away hidden from view behind an outcropping, my emotions were a solid knot of fury. The new hiking boots and clothes I wore felt stiff and rough against my healing skin. Nora walked beside me with the determined step of an angry woman, each stride sending up small puffs of sand from her black boots. I knew the werewolves at Two should fear her as much as me.
Drake was on sentry duty and let out a yell when he saw us. He ran down the rocks, took one look at the anger I could barely contain, and rushed ahead of us to the caves.
I wasn't surprised to see Brian and Ben waiting beside Thomas at the door. Traer stood in the background, and the relief in his eyes was so stark when he saw me that it almost buckled my resolution, but the sight of the two Alphas I had kicked out standing at my door so smug as though they owned the place brought it all back. They stepped into the room when I entered, but didn't give way more than that.
“You gave up after a week?” I shouted, too angry to bother lowering my voice.
“We looked,” Thomas said. “We just didn't know where to start.”
“For one week?” I demanded. “Really?”
Brian stepped forward. “That's what you deserve for putting Two in danger.”
Red flashed before my eyes. “Two is mine!” I reminded them with a growl so menacing Brian bared his teeth. “It was built with my family’s money and we've allowed you to stay here to save your lives.” I stared at him, my chest heaving and so much rage in my heart I couldn't voice the rest of my thoughts.
“For no reason,” Brian shot back. “Alphas aren't being killed off like they were. There are wolves living normal lives without having to cower in some cave hideout.”
“Then why are you here?” I growled.
Ben met my eyes, his own filled with defiance and self-righteousness. “Because with you gone, Two needed a new leader.”
“Thought waiting a month was long enough before replacing me?” I asked, loathing thick in my voice.
Ben's gaze turned smug. “We only waited a week.”
“Until you verified that I was nowhere to be found and hopefully wasn't coming back.” My limbs shook with the urge to phase, but there was one more thing I needed to know. I met Traer’s gaze across the room and couldn’t hide the pain in my voice. “Where were you?”
He dropped his eyes, the regret in them so deep I already knew the answer.
I took a step toward him. “You couldn't defy the Alphas long enough to even search for me?” My voice lowered. “You were my best friend,” I forced out just above a whisper.
The lack of denial hurt worse than any of Rob’s tortures. The Alpha in me did the only thing it could with the pain; it turned it into a blind, red rage.
I phased so fast nobody had time to react. I leaped out of my ruined clothes straight at Brian. He fell over backwards with my fangs sunk deep into his arm.
“Let him go!” Ben yelled. Something hit me on the back, but I barely felt it. I spun and grabbed him by the knee, then pulled him down on top of his brother.
Thomas had already phased when I glanced to make sure he wasn't going to attack my back. The Alpha met my gaze calmly, then he turned and trotted out of Two. My eyes drifted to Traer who cowered back against the wall, his hands closed into helpless fists and a look on his face as though he wanted to sink into the red rock wall behind him and never be seen again. When our eyes met, he mouthed, “I'm sorry,” but it was too little, too late.
Sharp teeth grabbed my back leg. I turned and caught Brian by the back of the neck before he could bite down. He froze at the pressure of my teeth on his spine. His muscles twitched in my jaws and I wanted to clamp down so badly my bones ached. I wanted them to see what Rob and Lobotraz had done to me, to feel my pain and to recognize utter hopelessness. I wanted them to suffer the way I had.
I closed my eyes as the thought surfaced that the feelings weren't really me. I wanted revenge, but Brian and Ben were acting like Alphas fighting for territory. They might have been happy that I was gone, but I couldn't deny the relief I had felt when I first chased them out of Two.
I let Brian go and waited for him to scramble back to his brother's side. Both Alphas watched me, unsure of what to do. The fact that there was even a question brought another vehement snarl from my chest. I ran at them and they both darted past Nora and out the door.
I turned back to find Traer in his wolf form, his gray coat blending with the shadows. Of any of them, his betrayal hurt the worst. I bared my teeth and gave a long, low growl that reverberated through the room. Traer ducked his head and padded slowly past. I listened to his footsteps until they faded away.
I left Nora in the main room and stalked to my quarters. I phased, pulled on some clothes, glanced once at the phone filled with thirty messages, no doubt from my worried mother, then turned and left without taking anything. I found the gas cans in the rec room and took the propane from the kitchen. I dumped gasoline in the various rooms, a cool, collected fury fueling my actions.
At one point, Drake and Max walked in on me.
“What are you doing?” Drake demanded.
I turned on him with a growl that would have rivaled my rage as a wolf. “Get out and never come back.” Drake put up his hands and backed away.
Max stayed in the doorway, his eyes on the gasoline container in my hands. “You need to think this through,” he said. “You don’t realize what you’re doing.”
I threw the container so hard it smashed against the wall next to him and flooded the room with the scent of gasoline. “For the first time in my life,” I said in a voice fueled by heartache and pain, “I truly realize what I’m doing.”
His face washed pale at the cold anger in my voice and he turned and left without a word; by the time I made it back to Nora, the other werewolves had heard of my rage and vacated Two.
Nora watched silently when I struck a match and tossed it into the main living room. She followed me out the door and I led us to a rock ledge a few hundred yards back. Nora ducked behind it and I stood on top.
My heart exploded with the propane canisters, sending yellow and blue flames out the door and above Two where the ceilings had once been lined with glass to let in the most light. The anger and betrayal I felt matched the fury of the flames. I took a deep breath and yelled in a furious, wordless cry all of the hatred and hopelessness I had experienced at Rob’s hands, the loss of my friends and camaraderie at Two, and the frustration that Gem and the other werewolves at Lobotraz were suffering because of who they were.
The yell cleared my rage and left me empty and ragged. I wanted more than anything to be out of anyone's sight, to be alone with the pain of betrayal and to forget what Two had once stood for.
“I'll be back,” I said shortly to Nora. She nodded with a look of understanding and I left her at the inferno that was once the entrance to Two.
Chapter 15
The sunset was darker than usual, reds and golds colored deep with the smoke from my home. I closed my eyes and memories flashed by, images of happier times, young boys learning to cook with instructions from the internet, the numerous challenges we gave each other every day in the training room, and playing soccer, frisbee, and football in the expansive desert that we used as a stadium.
A knot formed in my throat at a memory of Sam days after he had arrived. His parents shipped him in at my mother's recommendation, and the young boy became my shadow for the next year. He viewed everything I did with wide, awe-filled eyes and the hope that one day he would be as strong as me despite being a gray coat. I supported his dreams of becoming a doctor like Traer, the friend who refused to search for me because of Brian and Ben.
Traer used to treat the Alphas as distant superiors despite the fact that he and I were only a few days apart in age. But then I was bit by a rattlesnake while making rounds. I didn't return at my scheduled time, and while the
others laughed it off, Traer searched for me. I was still in wolf form because I worried that phasing would send the venom more quickly through my veins, and when he found me, my back leg where I had been bitten was so swollen I could barely move it.
Traer carried me over four miles back to Two and treated me through the fever delirium. He kept his promise not to tell my parents what had happened because I foolishly worried that they would take me from Two and not let me come back. Later on, Ben challenged him for his devotion to me and would have beaten him to a pulp as an example to the others, but I happened to walk in on the first punch and gave both Brian and Ben such a beating that they hadn't challenged me again until the attack a month ago.
The fire tinted the twilight sky in red, lapping flames that died until only charcoal and seared red rock were left. I lost myself staring into the burning embers; an echo of pain ached in the charred scars along my body. I wondered if Two could possibly feel the same loss of humanity.
I had a mild regret that Gem hadn’t seen Two before I destroyed it. On long nights at Lobotraz, I told her of the werewolves who lived there and our adventures and pitfalls. She would have liked the sunlight filtering down to the marble floors and the way the red particles smelled of dusty cinnamon as they floated through the air trapped in beams of light. Thoughts of the werewolf confused me. I felt so at home with Nora, like I was complete, but my mind and soul still longed after Gem as though a werewolf was a better match for me, a soul mate. Now that I had Nora back, I worried that I couldn’t appreciate her because I longed for Gem’s hand in mine again.
Soft footsteps made their way up to my viewing point, erasing my fears. Just the promise of Nora's company stilled my emotions and cleared my troubled heart. I took a breath of the breeze that brought her scent.
“You don't have to be alone up here,” she said quietly, stopping a few feet back to give me my space.