by Cheree Alsop
I ran my hands along the cement. The cool, moistened rock refused to reveal its secrets. I tried to calm the chaos swirling through my mind. It took all of my concentration to push away the thunder of water pouring from the hole and Jaze’s shouted commands as he directed his men. I closed my eyes and pictured Nora, her green eyes and her long black hair. I moved slowly back and forth in front of the wall, my eyes still closed and hands keeping me steady.
The pounding in my head increased with each step to the point that the pain clouded every other sense. I was about to give up when a faint breath touched my face. A teasing tendril of vanilla and sunflowers tangled within it. I dropped to my knees and dug at the bricks.
“Did you find something?” Jaze asked, kneeling beside me.
“Fresh air,” I replied. I pointed and searched the area around us for the trigger.
Jaze put his face to it. “You're right,” he breathed. He stood up and began feeling around the desk for something we had missed.
I couldn't find a purchase in the stone. The water level was up to our waists and Jaze's men were returning.
“Found it,” Jaze called over his shoulder. He slid something under the water near the foot of the desk and the panel moved in front of me to reveal a winding staircase.
“Lead them up,” I said to Kaynan; there was no time to question protocol about giving orders to someone else's pack mate.
Kaynan didn't question and ran up the stairs. Jet and two other werewolves followed close behind.
I turned and met Jaze’s gaze.
“You first,” he said.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I have to make sure my team gets out,” Jaze replied.
“I’m not leaving until all the prisoners are gone.”
He nodded, a gleam of respect in his eyes. “My thoughts exactly.”
Werewolves, Hunters, and Rob's men who were now our prisoners pushed quickly up the stairs. Jaze’s team called to each other, keeping up contact as they helped the others out of the flooding room. The water was nearly to the roof and we had to swim to keep our heads above it by the time the guards gave word that the last werewolf was through. Jaze checked his earpiece one last time, then motioned me in.
“You first,” I said.
He looked like he wanted to argue, then he ducked through the door and left me in the control room. Objects floated menacingly in the dark water, my imagination giving reaching hands to dark chairs and office equipment. One of Rob's cat-o-nine-tails lay tangled on an empty file box that floated above his desk. My stomach twisted and I ducked through the opening to the staircase.
The stairs turned into an upward-sloping ramp that ended about a half-mile from Lobotraz. The pounding from the back of my head increased until I had to lean against the wall to walk. Jaze met me half-way up and threw one of my arms over his shoulders. “Thought you decided to stay behind.”
“Just wanted to make sure no one else would suffer in there,” I replied. I glanced at him. “Any sign of Nora?”
Jaze's eyes darkened. “They were gone before Kaynan and the others reached the surface. There’s no sign of where they went. I have my team searching for trails.”
I cursed softly and hit the wall. I was a fool; I shouldn't have let her come along. Her life was in her father's hands again, and I didn't doubt he would keep her under lock and key this time, if not worse.
“Hang in there,” Jaze said quietly, an edge of command to his voice. “Don’t give up on us. We got your werewolves out, didn’t we?” I glanced at him. He met my gaze steadily. “I don’t stop until everyone is safe.”
His words reminded me of my own determination to take care of the werewolves at Two. “That can be a challenging task.”
He gave a small smile and helped me step forward. “Tell me about it.”
We walked slowly up the ramp and I leaned more heavily on him than I liked. He didn’t seem bothered by my weight, and I wondered how strong the werewolf really was. My head pounded with each step. Jaze’s werewolves and Hunters waited for us at the exit to Lobotraz. Jaze refused to step aside and let someone else help me. He walked at my side to the vehicles and made sure I was sitting comfortably before he turned away to give orders to those who waited for him. My respect for the werewolf grew with every action I observed. Jaze was truly someone worthy of the respect he quietly commanded.
I leaned against the SUV, letting the pain of my aching head dull the agony of losing Nora. I had failed her, and for all I knew she was going to a situation worse than mine had been at Lobotraz. I buried my head in my hands, so angry at myself and the world I wished I would have jumped in front of Rob’s gun and saved Nora.
“Are you alright?” I looked up to see a brown-haired werewolf with blue-gray eyes watching me. She held bandages in one hand and indicated my head. “That needs to be wrapped.”
I crouched down against the vehicle so she could reach my head and her nimble fingers swiftly tied bandages securely against the damaged flesh. When she finished, she stepped back and looked me over. “I think you’ll live,” she said with a smile. “I’ve seen worse.”
Jet helped an injured werewolf walk past and her eyes lit up at seeing him. “Jet!” He helped the werewolf into an SUV, then came back over and gave her a quick kiss, his dark eyes and expression lightening just from being near her. “Another arena down, Taye,” he said in a reference I didn’t understand.
“They’re getting worse,” Taye replied with concern in her eyes.
He nodded and she slipped her hand into his.
I leaned against Mouse's SUV and watched bony, bruised, worn werewolves climb into the vehicles around us. Hope shone on some of their faces, but others barely showed a flicker of emotion at the change in surroundings.
“Vance!” a voice called. My heart soared, chasing all other thoughts from my mind. I turned just before Gem slammed into me, her petite arms wrapping tightly around my neck and her blue eyes bright; the fresh wounds along her body had to hurt, but she didn’t show it. “I told you we'd get out! I just didn't know you'd be the one to do it!”
I lowered her gingerly back to the sand, her skinny frame sharp under my hands. “I didn't know, either.” It felt so good to be near her again, like an empty part of my heart filled to overflowing in her presence. Seeing her in the sunlight drove the thought home that I could truly be happy with her. She was a werewolf and we had been through so much together. But part of my heart longed after Nora, after her calming touch and the way she knew everything about me and accepted me for who I was. Gem smiled up at me and I couldn’t hide the torment that swept through my mind.
“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice touched with concern.
I pushed away the troubling thoughts. “After all you’ve been through, you ask if I’m okay?” I leaned down swiftly and without thinking, kissed her lightly on the lips.
She laughed and hugged me harder than I thought her frail body could manage. I glanced up and found Jaze watching us, a light of understanding in his eyes. I ducked my head to hide the war within. It felt right to kiss Gem, but something was missing. I took a breath and tried to clear the chaos of emotions that swirled through my mind.
Gem tipped her head back at the others. “What are we going to do with them?”
“Rehabilitation,” Jaze answered. He stood a few feet away overseeing the werewolves as they were assisted into the waiting vehicles. “Then we'll find their homes.” His brow creased. “Most of my rehab centers are full. We'll have to split everyone up.”
I shook my head and ran a finger across my knuckles. “It’d be nice to keep them all together. I think it’ll help the recovery process.” A thought occurred to me and the rightness of it surged through my body. “I have the resources. Let me build them a place.”
Jaze’s eyebrows lifted. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I need something to do.” I didn’t say that I would go crazy until we found Nora, but I could tell Jaze understood.
<
br /> He nodded. “Thank you.”
Chapter 18
“I’m just so glad you're alive,” Mom's voice crackled on the other end of the phone. I forced down a surge of emotion at her voice. “I can’t tell you how worried I’ve been. You don’t return any of my emails.”
After Lobotraz, I couldn’t bring myself to call home. The complete abandonment I experienced there made it that much harder to dial Mom’s number and hear it confirmed. I emailed her at Gem’s insistence using one of Mouse’s computers and briefly detailed my escape, Jaze’s help, and Nora’s disappearance, and asked for the funding we needed to build a rehabilitation center. I couldn’t bring myself to open any of the numerous emails she sent in reply.
Gem finally convinced me that it was sheer stubbornness that kept me from calling her. She borrowed a phone and made me promise to call because as she put it, it was the most important thing I could do at the time. I accepted the phone reluctantly, but couldn’t resist the pleading in Gem’s bright blue eyes. It was enough to see her eating and growing healthier each day. After all she had been through, I couldn’t refuse her anything. I finally promised and watched her skip around in glee with a cheerful smile on her face.
Now I stood on a red rock outcropping overseeing the building of the rehab center in an effort to keep my mind busy. A square of glass carried by one of the werewolves caught the light of the sun and bounced it toward me. I closed my eyes. “Any luck finding Nora?” I asked, though I knew if she heard anything she would have called me immediately.
“No.” Her answer came reluctantly. “But we're sweeping everywhere. I can't imagine a flea could get through.”
“Yet she has,” I whispered too quietly for her to hear. I cleared my throat. “Thanks, Mom. Keep me posted.”
“I will,” she promised. She hesitated. “Vance?” My heart closed away from the emotion in her voice. “We're so glad you're alright.”
“I'm not alright, Mother,” I admitted. “But finding Nora will help with that a great deal.
“We'll find her,” she vowed.
“Talk to you later.” I hung up the phone and studied the landscape. The azure sky hung above the red sandstone like a jewel. A knot formed in my throat at the thought of telling Nora about the same sky and the way it held me at Two. The color reminded me of Nora so starkly I could barely breathe.
The location was perfect for the new rehabilitation center. It was situated far enough from Two that Rob couldn’t find us if Nora broke down and told him where we were, but it was still in the red rock desert that my soul called home. Mom was as good as her word and building crews had arrived at the land the moment she purchased it. I was happy to see the money used for good, and felt grateful for the first time that my mother spared no expense when I asked for help.
Walls were being erected and Gem worked with several of the others who had enough strength to help out. They felt as I did. When they weren’t busy, thoughts of Lobotraz and the nightmares within its walls barraged down like the water of the dam. Though Jet’s girlfriend Taye was on hand to make sure they took breaks when needed, the werewolves were happy to help build something out of the wreckage that had become their lives.
Mouse, the small, skinny werewolf that had a knack for electronics, fiddled in a main room that was already stocked with computers despite the lack of walls. He was obviously anxious to be back in touch with Jaze’s command center despite our remote location. Gem skipped into the room, handed the werewolf something small and metal that gleamed in the light, then smiled when he blushed as he said thank you. She skipped back out of the room and I wondered if Mouse felt as I did, that it was lighter for her having been in it.
I watched Gem move within the construction zone. She wore a yellow hardhat on her head that slid from side to side as she bounced over beams of wood and building debris like a woodland fairy. She had dyed her blond pixie cut hair pink, and Nikki, Jaze’s human girlfriend, had helped her trim the ends so it fit her sprightly personality. I had never seen someone with so much energy. It was like now that she had escaped the confines of the bars, she couldn’t be contained.
She glanced up, caught me watching her, and flashed a happy smile that touched her blue eyes and made her practically glow. I waved and a surge of longing welled up in my chest. But now that she was here, the need wasn’t for the touch of her hand or to see her safe. I missed the scent of vanilla and sunflowers; I wanted the one who wasn’t safely below working with werewolves to build strong walls and beautiful floors. I had serious issues.
I slid down the sides of two narrow canyon walls until my shoes hit the dirt with a red puff. I pushed through the narrow red rock tunnels and entered a small sand arena feeling like I was going to explode if I didn't hit something. I squared up with one of the walls and began to beat it with my bare knuckles, letting the bite of the rock chase the pain from my chest.
Rob's face loomed in my mind with his overly confident expression above his tailored suit. I punched the wall harder. The surface grew slick and the burning in my knuckles eased the ache in my heart at the thought of Nora in Rob's possession. My side began to throb. Nora's green eyes bright with concern the way she had looked when we climbed from the flash flood rose to my mind. The fact that she had been the one to send Jaze to Lobotraz and save me from that horrible prison sent guilt through my chest. I couldn’t find her. After all we had gone through, I was the one letting her down.
I staggered forward and leaned against the wall. Tears stained my cheeks. I wiped them away with the back of my hand and felt more moisture. I glanced down and found that my knuckles were coated in blood from hitting the wall. The skin was peeled away and the stinging throb of sweat burned the edges. I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop the futile tears. Tears were a coward's way out and wouldn't save her.
Unable to stand being under the azure sky without Nora any longer, I tore off my clothes, phased, and barreled through the narrow red rock passage. A form jumped out of my way. My nose identified Jaze's scent, but I couldn't think past the need for the dry, arid air of the desert and the harsh, unforgiving landscape. I lowered my head, pulled my ears back, and ran.
***
I didn't realize until the smell of death and decay filled my nose that my paws had taken me to White Horse Canyon. The troubled air told of the bodies below before I even reached the rim. I skidded to a stop, my tongue out and chest heaving. The bodies in the canyon beyond had been Nora's friends. I had killed them all.
I glared into the depths below, hating myself for the pain I had caused them, for the mothers and fathers who had lost sons and daughters and would never know where they went, for the pain on Nora's face when I told her they were dead, and for the sightless eyes that had stared up at me accusingly that first night because I had lived when they died.
The heavy smell tangled through my fur, threatening to drag me down with them. I snorted and backed up. Red sand scuffed around my paws bruised from beating the wall. I lowered my head to the sand and tried to lose the smell of decay amid the cinnamon and sage scent of the dirt, but the stench refused to leave. I turned and ran from the canyon as fast as I could. I couldn't chase away the thought that I had been running from everything my whole life, everything but Nora.
I reached the end of the canyon when a shadow caught up to me and I barely avoided crashing into Jaze. He sidestepped easily and watched me as I regained my footing. I didn’t know how long he had been following me. The fact that he was here, in my red rocks, bothered me but I couldn’t say why. I owed Jaze my life. I think just being near Two and the places where I grew up rattled my thoughts.
I studied Jaze, a black wolf whose fur blended almost perfectly into the shadows. I blinked and realized that it was night. My run had taken me longer than I thought. Guilt at leaving the others working flooded me and I lowered my head. I trotted slowly to one of the clothes caches still hidden among the rocks and phased, then pulled on a pair of black shorts and a worn gray shirt. I tossed
a second set of clothes to Jaze and he phased, then waited for me without speaking.
We walked silently along the soft sand that felt as fine as powder underfoot. I never wore shoes in the desert. They were too constricting and the feeling of sand between my toes was home as much as the rock walls around us. The scent of sage baked by the sun lingered beneath the starlit sky, and the stars that twinkled down glowed brightly through their midnight canvas.
“They’re brighter out here,” Jaze said quietly, breaking our silence.
I glanced at him. “What?”
He tipped his head to indicate the stars. “At home, I can barely see a dozen in the sky. Too much light from the city.” He fell silent, then said, “It’s better, being out here under the stars. It feels like we’re all connected somehow.”
I looked up at them again. To me they had always just been there, the constellations floating slowly across the dark expanse, phantoms of stories older than the world I knew. Walking beneath them again after the weeks spent in Lobotraz felt surreal. I couldn’t decide which experience was more of a dream.
“I know you’re worried about Nora,” Jaze said when I didn’t say anything. “I’ve got every werewolf and Hunter here and in the adjoining states on the lookout. When Rob surfaces, we’ll know.”
I took a breath of night air and let it flow out between my teeth. “I’m worried about her, but there’s so much more to it.”
“The werewolf, Gem,” Jaze said.
I glanced at him in surprise, then remembered that he had seen our small kiss outside of Lobotraz. I nodded. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so selfish.” The words surprised me. I had never opened up to the other Alphas at Two. I was supposed to be the tough one, the one who had everything figured out even though we were all lost in our own ways. But it felt like once the gate was opened, the words wouldn’t stay in. “Nora completes my heart in ways I could never imagine. She’s smart, spunky, brave beyond doubt, and willing to stand up for what she believes in even against her father.”