by Alison Ryan
He sighed. “As you have learned over the past few days… It’s not that easy with the firm. You don’t get to quit until it quits you. And that’s usually because you’re dead.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t always like that. We used to do good work for people I thought could make a positive difference in this world. But over the last decade things changed. The money that clients were willing to pay took over things and now it’s just a firm that represents people who aren’t interested in changing the world. They’re just interested in making a lot of money.”
“So you’re saying you were trapped,” I said. “It was either continue running it…”
“Or die. But that wasn’t even the thing I was most afraid of,” he said walking toward me. “I was most afraid of them hurting you. Like they hurt your mother.”
I was confused now.
“Mom died of cancer,” I said.
“No,” he said. “She did have a brain tumor, yes. But it was benign and had she lived it would have been removed and she would have been fine.”
I suddenly felt dizzy.
Your entire life has been a huge lie.
“She was murdered,” he spat out the words. “I’d told them, the firm, I wanted to leave. That I was willing to sell my majority stake, that I had no desire to run it anymore. I was under the illusion that I was in charge of my destiny. When they killed your mother they showed me how far they were willing to go.”
I was shaking. It was too much.
“How can this be true?” I uttered. “How could I have been so blind to my own life?”
“It was to protect you, Camilla,” he said reaching out for me. I pulled away.
“The only one,” I said. “Who has ever protected me, has been Nolan. And now, I can’t even be with him. Because it all comes back to the fucking firm.”
Now it was my father’s turn to be shocked.
“Of course you can’t be with him,” he said. “First off, he’s way too old for you. And he’s connected to the firm, which means he’s connected to the same danger I was and still am. You being with him would put you in possibly more danger than being my daughter does.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s gone.”
My father gave me a doubtful look. “Right. And where did he go?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “We were in a dire predicament. The Krav Maga girl… I mean Emma… brought me to you and he left. He said he had to distract the firm so they wouldn’t know where we are. They think you’re in Johannesburg.”
My father glanced over at Emma, who I just realized was still standing with us. I’d assumed she would leave or at least make herself scarce.
“He knows,” Emma said. “I have kept him up to date with everything.”
“What is she anyway?” I asked, waving at her. “I owe her my life, but I feel like there’s something I’m missing here.”
The two exchanged glances.
“I suppose it’s time you should know,” he said. “I wanted it to be a more gradual revelation. At least have lunch first before getting into the reason I’m here in Salzburg and the reason I had to make the firm think I was dead.”
“Well, I think we’re past the point of small talk, Dad,” I said. “I’m not in the mood to sit and have tea and reminisce over old memories. I’m exhausted. I just need to know everything and then I need to somehow find Nolan. Because you might not think he’s good for me, but I know he’s the best thing for me. I love him. And more importantly he’s shown me he loves me. He’s risked so much…” I was crying now. “If you really, truly love me you will help me find him and you will help me finally find happiness. And that can only happen with Nolan, Dad. Like it or not.”
My father walked over to me and grabbed me, embracing me with both arms as I cried into his shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just want you to be okay. But I should have been just as worried about you being happy. Maybe my way isn’t the way to make all of this work.”
I nodded against his shoulder. “I just want to live a normal life that belongs just to me. I want a life that’s filled with truth and people who tell it.”
He pulled me away for a second to look me in the eyes.
“Well, my child,” he said. “That’s what you’ll get. If it’s the last thing I do. I’ll help you find Nolan.”
I was shocked to hear him say it. Suddenly Emma spoke up.
“He better,” she said. “Or he’d be the biggest hypocrite on the planet.”
We both looked at her, shocked to hear her speak.
“Emma,” he smiled. “I guess you’d be right on that.”
“What is she talking about?” I asked. “Why would you be a hypocrite?”
“Because,” Dad said. “This is Emma. And she’s my wife.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Your wife?” I said. “What are you talking about? Since when?”
They looked at one another, clearly not sure who should speak. My father took the reins.
“Since 6 months ago,” he said. “Around the time you… found out.”
“That you were dead?” I asked. I was dizzy from all the disclosure. “No offense to Emma here, but you made me think you were dead so you could run off and marry someone who, frankly, is too young for you. And you think Nolan is too old for me? How old is Emma, like 25?”
“She just turned 30 actually,” he said, looking down. “I guess you’ve got me on that part. But it wasn’t because of Emma that I left you and the rest of the world. I love Emma very much, but I would never have left you if it wasn’t a very good reason.”
Emma spoke, “I’ll go in and see if she’s awake.”
“Who?” I asked as Emma walked away. “Who is she talking about?”
“Your sister,” my father said.
I suddenly fell to my knees.
Sister?
“Camilla,” my father was next to me on the gravel driveway. I was leaning against the car that was still warm to the touch from the drive. “I hate that all of this is being revealed so quickly…”
“I have a sister,” I said. “You and Emma…”
“We had a baby. She was born in April. On April 8th to be exact,” he said, smiling. “Same day as your mother.”
Tears stung my eyes.
“She’s just a baby…” I said. “So… You found out Emma was pregnant…”
“And I knew, it really had to be over. With the firm,” he said, his arm around me. I allowed myself to lean into his shoulder. “I couldn’t put her through what you went through. It’s been hard enough to live with myself knowing that I robbed you of so much. I quite literally wanted to die before I could think about that happening to another one of my precious children.”
I nodded.
“It makes sense,” I said. “I just wish… I could have known. That you could have told me.”
“I needed it to look as real as possible,” he said. “And that included your response to my death. It killed me to do that but it was to protect you and Hadley.”
“Hadley?” I asked. “Is that her name?”
He nodded. “Yep. It’s what we almost named you. Your mother talked me into Camilla because she said it would mean you’d grow up to be beautiful. And she was right. You did.”
I smiled. “I have a baby sister. Can I see her?”
He stood up, reaching a hand down for me to grab and hoisted me up. “I’ve been waiting for you to see her since the day I found out Emma was pregnant with her. Come on in. It’s long past time you were here.”
I took his arm and we walked into the house.
Together. And it felt as right as anything had felt in a long time.
But even in that happy moment, a part of me still wished Nolan was here too. And I wondered and hoped, wherever he was, he was safe.
Chapter Eighteen
Hadley was perfection.
Bald as an eagle, with pink skin and incredibly blue eyes like Emma. She’d been fussy when
we first walked into the room, but as soon as I had her in my arms she stopped her whining and became very calm.
“She already adores you,” Emma said. “I can’t believe how quickly she’s already taken to you.”
I smiled, looking at Emma. I could really see who she was now. She was young, but wise. I thought of how she’d burst into the hotel room to save me and Nolan. She’d risked so much for me and I didn’t even know her.
And she was my father’s wife. And my sister’s mom.
My dad had impregnated Krav Maga girl.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity and beauty of it.
“Emma,” I said. “Thank you. For saving me. For saving my dad. For bringing this baby into the world. I know we don’t know one another well, but I’m happy you exist. And that Hadley has you.”
“And she has you,” Emma added. “Your father speaks of you so much that I feel like I know you very well. I only hope Hadley can grow up to be as smart, brave, and poised as her big sister.”
We both looked down at Hadley who had closed her eyes. Never had I felt such peace.
My mind drifted off to Nolan again, my heart sinking at the thought of him still out there alone. And then another thought hit me: what would it be like to hold a baby of my own? With the man I loved?
Could it ever happen? If I felt this much love for Hadley, I couldn’t have imagined what I would feel for my own child.
“Emma,” I said, tears in my eyes. “I love all of you so much. But I can’t stop thinking about him…”
“I know,” Emma said, hugging me. “I was once you. Richard was my Nolan. And I would have done anything to have this life I have with him now.” She looked behind her to see if my father was listening.
“Do you have any idea where he might have gone?” she whispered. “He told me when he left the airport that he’d made arrangements to go somewhere he’d never been before. He said you’d know what he was talking about? And that you’d find him under the name of an old Cincinnati friend named Joe? He was very cryptic. Anyway, if you can figure this out… We will make it happen. Even if we have to leave our life here in Salzburg to get you there. You’re my family, Camilla. And you above any of us, deserve to be happy.”
It might still have been fresh news, but at that moment I was so grateful my dad had found Emma. I could tell she would always be an important ally between us. I was grateful for that.
But what could Nolan have meant? A place he’d never been before. A friend named Joe.
My mind flashed back to our nights in Tahoe. Our passion in Vancouver. The love we’d made in Iceland. We’d whispered so many things to one another, confessed a lot. But I couldn’t hold onto what this clue meant.
Until suddenly I did.
“I know where he is,” I said. “If you can get me there, I would owe you so much. Is it really possible?”
Emma nodded. “The firm might know Richard is alive, but they still don’t know where he is. And the mogul has his team watching us constantly. It’s like we’re in an invisible fortress here. We’re perfectly safe. Camilla, it’s time for you and Nolan both to find your happiness.”
“Wait,” I said. “Emerson Titan knows you’re here?”
“Yes,” she said. “He’s been in on this the whole time. We couldn’t do it without him. He’d even offered to buy your stake in the firm so we can all be free of it. He plans on shutting it down permanently. And possibly getting the FBI involved. Which is why Nolan had to run. And Camilla, I won’t lie. Once you’re where he is, it might be a while before you can come back to us. Selfishly that makes me not want you to go, but as a woman in love… I also understand what you have to do.”
‘Wow,” I replied. “Emerson Titan is one great actor. He convinced me he had no idea.”
Emma laughed. “Well, he does hang out with some of Hollywood’s best. Maybe they taught him a thing or two.”
“If you can get me there, I’d never forget this,” I said to Emma. “It’s all I want in the world. Besides being with Dad and Hadley. I can’t live without him, Emma.”
“I know,” she said. “Let me talk to your dad. We’ll figure this out.”
“Okay,” I said, relieved. “Thank you.”
As she walked away with a sleeping Hadley in her arms, she turned around.
“By the way,” she said. “Where are we sending you?”
“Vanuatu,” I said, as I remembered an old conversation.
“If it were up to me,” he’d said. “And I have thought this so often you wouldn’t even believe it… I’d do what your dad did. Except I would escape to Vanuatu. Assume a new identity. The name of someone who was a huge part of the good parts of my childhood.”
“Yeah?” I’d asked. “Who would that be?”
He’d smirked at me. “I have to keep some secrets for myself. But you could figure it out. We talked about it before.”
I’d playfully smacked his rock solid stomach. “You keep enough secrets as it is. How would I find you?”
“I’d hope you’d be with me,” he’d said, running his hands through my hair. “When it comes down to it… I hope you choose me.”
Chapter Nineteen
It had been hard to say goodbye to Emma. Harder to say goodbye to my baby sister.
Hardest to say goodbye to my father.
But at least this time it was on our own terms.
“I love you,” I said, hugging him tight two days after my conversation with Emma. “I know you might not understand it, but I have to do this.”
Dad hadn’t been a fan of me leaving. It had taken some long conversations to get him to agree to the whole thing.
“Nolan is the closest thing I ever had to a son,” Dad said. “It’s not about him. It’s just… I’m your dad. And I worry about you. And when I’d get to see you again. Things are just really heated at the moment…”
“I know,” I said. “But I have to be happy. A long time ago a very wise man once told me that I had to choose my life and make it what I wanted it to be.” I smiled at him. “That man was you. You taught me I had choices.”
“Dammit,” he said. “I hate that my wisdom is now biting me in the ass.”
We both laughed.
“I choose Nolan,” I said. “But I also choose myself. For once. And I know that you hate it, but I also know you understand it.”
He pulled me into his arms and kissed my head.
“You’re always first in my heart, Camilla,” he said. “Always and forever.”
Chapter Twenty
As usual, the mogul pulled through.
Emerson Titan had arranged for me to fly to Vanuatu under a new alias that came with a fresh social security card, driver’s license, and even medical records. I’d gone from American, to Canadian, and back to American.
He’d even arranged it so I kept my first name at least. Sort of.
“Cami Bruner?” I asked as I sat in the plush seat of the Gulfstream jet he’d allowed me to borrow for the trip. Emerson himself had Skyped me to see me off.
“What’s wrong with that?” the billionaire Santa Claus asked. “It’s a cute name.”
“I prefer Camilla,” I said. “But of course I’m grateful. Thank you, Emerson. For everything.”
“Don’t mention it, sweetheart,” he said. “Now, go find that man. Tell Nolan I’m here any time he needs me. I don’t expect to hear from either of you for a while, but you know where to find me.”
I nodded and we both hung up. I turned off my cell phone and leaned back in my chair.
Here goes nothing.
Vanuatu was an island made of dreams.
As the plane descended I could see the crystal blue water surrounding the archipelago. So many tiny islands.
And I knew Nolan had to be on one of them.
I hadn’t considered that I might be wrong about where he’d gone or who he’d become. It just wasn’t an option for me to even consider. Nolan was strong and smart. There wasn’t a situation he couldn
’t figure out. I knew the firm hadn’t gotten to him.
And I knew him well enough to know Vanuatu was where he was.
He’d taught me so much about myself and what I wanted. I thought back to the first phone call with him, after my father had “died.” He’d been so cold and aloof, but so composed.
He’d revealed himself to me in so many ways since then, but what had been most important had been the revealing of his own heart.
And he’d done it with his story of growing up in Kentucky. The story of one of his first memories of both excitement over an event, and the cruel seizing of it by his father.
The name of someone who was a huge part of the good parts of my childhood.
There are over 100 hotels on the islands of Vanuatu.
How do I know this? Because I called almost every single one of them before I finally found him.
As soon as the hotel front desk clerk had confirmed he was a guest, I’d hung up and hailed the first island cab I could find. My heart was racing in my chest.
What would I even say? What if he wasn’t happy to see me? What if by some off chance this was all a ruse and someone like Nicholas would be waiting for me at the hotel instead?
No way. No one would have figured out these clues except for me. It’s why he’d shared them. So this moment could happen.
As soon as we reached The Havannah Hotel and Resort on the other side of the island, I could barely stand the wait any longer. I tipped the cabbie generously as I ran out of the car.
And as luck would have it…
“Camilla.”
He was standing outside the main lobby, almost as if he’d been expecting me. He looked incredibly sexy in a pair of board shorts and no shirt, his tan shoulders and pectoral muscles glistening in the sun.
“You mean Cami,” I said, holding out my hand as if I wanted him to shake it. “And you must be Joe Nuxhall.”
He smiled and then before I knew it he’d grabbed my hand and yanked me toward him, his mouth meeting mine with a crushing kind of urgency and passion, taking me by surprise.