1 At one of the early Glyndebourne seasons, Bing engaged the Italian singer Salvatore Baccaloni. Artistically the engagement was a success, but Baccaloni could be very temperamental. The problems were exacerbated by the fact that he could speak only Italian while Bing spoke none at all. Baccaloni would storm into Bing’s office and deliver a flood of Italian, to which Bing would listen uncomprehendingly. When he seemed to have finished what he had to say, Bing would solemnly hand him a £5 note. This always seemed to appease Baccaloni.
2 When Bing arrived in the United States in November 1949 to take up his appointment at the Metropolitan Opera, he was interviewed on board ship before it docked. The reporter began, “I am supposed to ask tactless questions.” Bing replied, “And I am supposed to give evasive answers.”
3 (Birgit Nilsson had a magnificent success in Tristan und Isolde in New York. A few days later, Tristan, sung by Ramon Vinay, fell ill, and each of the two possible substitutes was similarly sick. It was too late by then to change the program.)
“I consulted with Miss Nilsson and then spoke with my three tenors again. None of them felt up to an entire Tristan; could each of them take an act? They agreed. When the house lights went down, before the music began, I came onto the stage, and was greeted by a great moan from all corners of the house — the general manager appears only to make the most important announcements, and everyone thought he knew that this announcement had to be: Miss Nilsson has canceled.
“So I began by saying, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Nilsson is very well,’ which brought a sigh of relief from almost four thousand people. Then I went on: ‘However, we are less fortunate with our Tristan. The Metropolitan has three distinguished Tristans available, but all three are sick. In order not to disappoint you, these gallant gentlemen, against their doctors’ orders, have agreed to do one act each.’ There was laughter in the house. I added, ‘Fortunately, the work has only three acts.’”
4 Bing disliked the negotiations with the trade unions at the Metropolitan Opera because of the hysteria and sense of confrontation they generated. At one session with representatives of the stagehands, he leaned across the table toward the trade union’s lawyer and said, “I’m awfully sorry, I didn’t get that. Would you mind screaming it again?”
5 Bing was mugged one day while walking his dog in Central Park, losing his money and his watch. Although the watch was worth only about $25, its loss particularly grieved Bing since it was a British Army watch, a souvenir of his time as a fire warden in Britain during World War II. This incident found its way into the newspapers. Next day at the opera house he was severely rebuked by soprano Zinka Milanov. “The general manager of the Metropolitan Opera does not carry a watch worth only twenty-five dollars,” she said sternly.
6 In Sir Rudolf Bing’s 5000 Nights at the Opera there is a photograph of the author sitting all alone in the old Metropolitan Opera House, a solitary figure in a sea of empty seats. On seeing this picture his brother commented, “No wonder you have a deficit.”
7 When Bing engaged Maria Callas to sing the Queen of the Night in The Magic Flute, the star expressed mild surprise at the fee he offered her: “It doesn’t make sense for you to pay me such a big fee for such a small part.”
“I have a solution,” said Bing, “reduce your fee.”
8 When Bing canceled Maria Callas’s contract with the Metropolitan Opera, in 1958, he engaged Leonie Rysanek to sing Lady Macbeth in Verdi’s opera. He was fearful, however, that the audience, resenting the absence of Callas, would give Rysanek a hostile reception. He therefore hired a claqueur to shout “Brava, Callas,” as Rysanek made her first entrance. As he had guessed, the Met audience rallied to the stand-in, and the performance was a great success.
9 A flu epidemic hit the cast of the New York Met, so Bing pinned up a list of precautions to prevent further spread of the infection. The last item on the list read: “Confine your kissing to the irresistible.”
BION (2d century BC), Greek philosopher.
1 Bion undertook a sea voyage on a vessel manned by a particularly dissolute and wicked crew. A storm blew up and the sailors began to pray loudly to the gods for deliverance. Bion advised them to keep quiet: “Rather let them not know where you are.”
BISMARCK, Otto Eduard Leopold, Prince von (1815–98), German statesman; first chancellor of the German Empire (1871–90).
1 Bismarck’s career in the Prussian civil service was unsuccessful and brief. He fell in love, overstayed his leave, got into debt, and eventually tendered his resignation. He was then twenty-four years old. Five years later he tried to make a fresh start in the civil service, but resigned in less than a month, saying, “I have never been able to put up with superiors.”
2 The Seven Weeks’ War between Prussia and Austria in 1866 was almost entirely engineered by Bismarck, who wished to establish Prussia’s position as leader of the German states instead of Austria. Sanctioning the advance of the divisions under General Manteuffel’s command across the River Elbe into Austrian territory, Bismarck telegraphed the general: “Treat them as fellow countrymen, homicidally if necessary.”
3 During the Franco-Prussian War of 1870 a German prince complained to Bismarck that the Iron Cross was being too freely awarded to the undeserving. Bismarck replied that unfortunately this was unavoidable; a certain number of persons would have to be decorated for reasons of protocol or out of mere politeness. He added, “After all, Your Highness, you and I have it too.”
4 At a ball in St. Petersburg Bismarck entertained his attractive partner with the usual pleasant flatteries. But she would have none of it, exclaiming, “One can’t believe a word you diplomats say.”
“What do you mean?” said Bismarck.
“Well, when a diplomat says, ‘Yes,’ he means ‘perhaps.’ When he says ‘perhaps,’ he means ‘no.’ And if he should say ‘no’ — well, he’s no diplomat.”
To which Bismarck replied, “Madam, you are quite right, it’s part of our profession, I fear. But with you ladies the exact opposite is the case.”
“How so?”
“When she says ‘no,’ she means ‘perhaps.’ When she says ‘perhaps,’ she means ‘yes.’ And if she says ‘yes’ — well, she’s no lady.”
5 Bismarck, a stickler for formality, was once seated at dinner next to a young, ebullient American lady. At first she addressed him as “Your Highness.” With the next course he became “Mr. Chancellor” and with the third course “My dear Mr. Bismarck.” As the plates were changed once more, he smiled and said amiably, “My first name is Otto.”
6 He had been conversing for rather a long time with the English ambassador when the latter posed the question: “How do you handle insistent visitors who take up so much of your valuable time?” Bismarck answered, “Oh, I have an infallible method. My servant appears and informs me that my wife has something urgent to tell me.” At that moment there was a knock at the door and the servant entered with a message from his wife.
7 In 1878 Disraeli and Bismarck were among those representing their countries at the Berlin Conference. As part of the Berlin settlement Britain managed to win Cyprus from Turkey. Bismarck seemed very pleased on Disraeli’s behalf and told him, “You have done a wise thing. That is progress. It will be popular. A nation likes progress.” Describing this encounter later to Queen Victoria, Disraeli observed of Bismarck, “His idea of progress was evidently seizing something.”
8 Bismarck developed cancer, and his wife, Johanna, brought in a new, young doctor to attend him. At their first meeting the chancellor told him brusquely, “I don’t like questions.” “Then get a veterinarian,” replied the doctor. “They don’t question their patients.”
BLACKWELL, Alexander (d. 1747), British adventurer.
1 Sentenced to be decapitated, Blackwell came to the block and laid his head on the wrong side. The executioner pointed out his mistake. Blackwell moved around to the correct side, observing that he was sorry for the mistake, but this was the first time that he had b
een beheaded.
BLAKE, Eubie [James Hubert Blake] (1883–1983), US jazz pianist and composer.
1 Asked why he played so many of his compositions in complicated sharp or flat keys, Eubie replied, “Down South where I come from, you don’t go round hittin’ too many white keys.”
2 On Sunday, February 13, 1983, the London Observer carried in its feature “Sayings of the Week” a quotation from centenarian Eubie, who had smoked since he was six and refused to drink water. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself,” he was reported as saying.
BLAKE, William (1757–1827), British artist, poet, and mystic.
1 Blake and his wife, Catherine, were once sitting naked in their garden, reciting to each other passages from Paradise Lost. Blake was not at all embarrassed when a visitor called on them. “Come in!” he cried. “It’s only Adam and Eve, you know.”
2 When Blake was fourteen years old, his father planned to apprentice him to the engraver William Ryland. He took the boy to visit Ryland’s studio and the arrangement seemed acceptable to both parties, when young Blake suddenly took a violent dislike to his future master. The only justification he could make to his father was: “I do not like the man’s face. He looks as if he will live to be hanged.” Ryland was then a famous and respected figure, so the boy’s objection seemed totally irrational, but his father was obliged to forgo his original intention and apprentice William to the comparatively unknown engraver James Basire.
Many years later Ryland became bankrupt after the failure of his business and in his desperation committed a forgery. His crime was discovered and he was hanged.
3 From childhood Blake had seen visions. One of the earliest stories recounted of him was that he told his parents he had seen a tree full of angels. This angered his father, who thought the boy was willfully telling lies. In later years Blake habitually talked about the supernatural subjects of his pictures as being actually present in his studio when he was drawing them. A visitor once surprised him hard at work on a picture of an invisible sitter. He looked and drew, drew and looked, apparently intent on capturing a likeness. “Do not disturb me, I have one sitting to me,” he said. “But there’s no one here,” exclaimed the visitor. “But I see him, sir,” replied Blake haughtily. “There he is — his name is Lot — you may read of him in the Scriptures. He is sitting for his portrait.”
BLECH, Leo (1871–1958), German composer and conductor.
1 At a rehearsal of the orchestra of the Berlin State Opera Company, one of the players could not follow Blech’s beat. “You’re new here?” asked Blech. “Yes, I started only yesterday,” replied the player. “Well, your difficulty is understandable,” said Blech. “Let’s work at it till we get it right.” He spent two hours working with the performer, then said, “Now it sounds right and tomorrow at the premiere you’ll be perfect.” The player replied, “But I won’t be here tomorrow. I’m only here to help out with the rehearsals.”
BLESSINGTON, Marguerite, Countess of (1789–1849), British author and society leader.
1 In the late 1830s, between his first and second abortive attempts to regain the French throne, the future Emperor Napoleon III frequented Lady Blessington’s salon. But when she arrived in Paris, pursued by scandal and debts, Napoleon, then returned from exile and president of the Republic, felt it would be an embarrassment to recognize her. After waiting in vain for an invitation from her former protégé, Lady Blessington managed to accost him at a reception. “Ah, Miladi Blessington!” said Napoleon distantly. “Restez-vous longtemps à France?” (Are you staying in France for some time?) Lady Blessington curtsied. “Et vous?” (And you?) she inquired sweetly.
BLOMBERG, Ron (1948–), US baseball player.
1 Blomberg, who played for the Yankees, was the first designated hitter in major-league baseball, a position that has remained controversial to this day. Blomberg himself said of his role, “I’ve been a DH all my life — Designated Hebrew.”
BLUME, Judy (1938–), US writer of realistic stories for and about young teenagers.
1 Judy Blume was once accosted by a woman who had been so upset by two pages about wet dreams in Ms. Blume’s novel Then Again Maybe I Won’t that she had torn them out of her son’s copy. “What if they had been about a girl’s menstruation?” inquired the author. “Would you still have torn the pages out?”
“Oh, no, that’s normal,” said the mother.
BLUMENTHAL, Oskar (1852–1917), German playwright, journalist, and critic.
1 Blumenthal and his friend critic Ludwig Sternaux were discussing a play that had opened the previous night. “I’m amazed the audience didn’t hiss it,” observed Sternaux. “Well, you can’t yawn and hiss at the same time,” said Blumenthal.
BOGART, Humphrey (1899–1959), US film star.
1 Taking Verita Peterson, his hairdresser and mistress, to Romanoff’s restaurant for the first time, Bogart introduced her to Mike Romanoff as Petée Gonzales, a Mexican actress who spoke very little English. Somewhat surprised, Verita played along with the joke, talking in mock Spanish to Bogart and in very broken English to Romanoff. As they left, she complained to Bogart that she would now have to take on this persona every time she went to Romanoff’s. Bogart said he had a solution. When they returned to Romanoff’s a few days later, “Good evening, Señorita Gonzales!” cried the proprietor. A look of horror passed across Bogart’s face. “What the hell’s the matter with you, Mike?” he growled. “You getting senile or something? This is my executive secretary, Verita Peterson. Christ! Can’t you tell one broad from another? This is really embarrassing!”
BOGDANOVICH, Peter (1939–), US film director.
1 For his film version of Larry McMurtry’s novel The Last Picture Show director Bog-danovich cast Cloris Leachman as a lead and predicted that she would win an Academy Award. When Leachman asked him how he could be sure, Bogdanovich answered that any actress who played that role would get an Award. For the rest of the filming, after every shot, Leachman would turn to him, saying, “Okay? An Oscar?”
BOHR, Niels Henrik David (1885–1962), Danish physicist who was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1922.
1 A visitor to Niels Bohr’s country cottage, noticing a horseshoe hanging on the wall, teased the eminent scientist about this ancient superstition. “Can it be that you, of all people, believe it will bring you luck?”
“Of course not,” replied Bohr, “but I understand it brings you luck whether you believe or not.”
BOILEAU (-Despréaux], Nicolas (1636–1711), French satirist and critic.
1 Boileau once introduced an impoverished poet to a prospective patron with the words: “I present to you a person who will give you immortality; but you must give him something to live on in the meantime.”
2 Louis XIV showed Boileau some poems he had written, and asked his opinion of them. The great poet was also an accomplished courtier: “Sire, nothing is impossible for Your Majesty. Your Majesty has set out to write bad verses and has succeeded.”
BOLEYN, Anne (1507–36), second queen consort of Henry VIII, mother of Elizabeth I.
1 Henry, desperate for a male heir, decided that Anne was no better as a “broodmare” than Catherine of Aragon had been. He therefore had Anne accused of infidelity with five men, one of them her own brother. She and all her supposed lovers were convicted of treason and condemned to death. For Anne’s execution the services of the executioner of Calais were engaged. He used a sword for the beheading, according to French practice, instead of the ax used by English executioners. Anne refused to be blindfolded and the executioner found her so disarming that he persuaded someone to attract her attention so that he could steal up silently behind her to carry out the death penalty.
2 Anne did not repine at her fate and cheerfully acknowledged the boon that Henry granted her in allowing her to be decapitated by a sword instead of an ax. “The king has been very good to me,” she said. “He promoted me from a simple maid to be a marchioness. The
n he raised me to be a queen. Now he will raise me to be a martyr.”
BOLINGBROKE, Henry St. John, Viscount (1678–1751), British orator and statesman.
1 Bolingbroke’s marital infidelities were a source of considerable scandal. Voltaire reports that when Bolingbroke took office, a courtesan remarked to her friends, “Seven thousand guineas a year, my girls, and all for us!”
BOLT, Tommy (1919–), US golfer known for his graceful swing and terrible temper.
1 Anecdotes of Tommy Bolt’s quirky temperament still light up darkened clubhouses. Once, after lipping out six straight putts, he shook his fist at the heavens and shouted, “Why don’t You come on down and fight like a man!”
2 Another time, trying to enliven a clinic, he asked his fourteen-year-old son to “show the nice folks what I taught you.” The son obediently hurled a nine-iron into the blue sky.
BONNER, John (1920–), US biologist.
1 Bonner’s specialty is the slime-mold Distyostelium, discovered in 1935 by Kenneth Raper. It may contain as many as 40,000 amoebae which under certain circumstances form themselves into a sausage-shaped slug, crawl about, and exhibit other remarkable talents. Bonner was once explaining his work to two Russian university rectors. They betrayed no sign of interest until he wrote on the blackboard the words “social amoebae.” At this they at once perked up, delighted with the idea that even one-celled animals could form collectives. Apparently a slimemold too may be used to justify Karl Marx.
BOONE, Daniel (1734–1820), US pioneer.
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