7 When asked about his motives for writing novels, Disraeli explained the every so often he was overcome by the urge to read a novel, and in order to have one at hand he would write it himself.
8 Disraeli had been criticized for his harsh verbal attacks on John Bright, who was, after all, a self-made man. “I know he is,” retorted Disraeli, “and he adores his maker.”
9 Disraeli was the guest of honor at a public dinner. As the kitchen was some way from the banqueting hall, most of the food was stone-cold by the time it reached the table. Sipping his champagne after the meal, Disraeli murmured, “Thank God! I have at last got something warm.”
10 A young lady was taken to dinner one evening by Gladstone and the following evening by Disraeli. Asked what impressions these two celebrated men had made upon her, she replied, “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.”
11 Disraeli was especially skilled in dealing with his sovereign, Victoria — in marked contrast to his predecessor, Gladstone. When asked how he managed to maintain such cordial relations with the queen while Gladstone’s relationship with her was so frosty, he said, “Gladstone treats the queen like a public department; I treat her like a woman.”
12 Queen Victoria once paid Disraeli the honor of visiting him at his country house near Bea-consfield. On his deathbed he declined another royal visit. “No, it is better not. She will only ask me to take a message to Albert.”
DIVINE, Father (1877–1965), US revivalist preacher, born George Baker.
1 Father Divine taught that heaven was on earth and established “heavens” for his followers in which spiritual life was centered on the worship of himself. The segregation by sexes, even of married couples, in these “heavens” caused considerable scandal. One of his confidential lady “secretaries” revealed Father Divine’s favorite seduction technique. “Mary wasn’t a virgin,” he would murmur.
2 The goings-on at Father Divine’s house of worship in Saybrook drove his neighbors to bring a court case against him as causing a public nuisance. On November 16, 1931, Justice Lewis J. Smith fined the preacher $500 and sentenced him to a six-month jail term. Four days later, on November 20, the judge, without warning, pain, or premonition, dropped dead. This extraordinary coincidence unleashed a storm of publicity. Father Divine kept his head and told the reporters clamoring for his comments on the affair, “I hated to do it.”
DIX, Dorothea Lynde (1802–87), US philanthropist, noted for her work on behalf of the insane and for her organization of the nursing corps during the Civil War.
1 The diarist and philanthropist George Tem-pleton Strong described Miss Dix as a “philanthropic lunatic.” Her impulsive ways led her into conflict with the Sanitary Commission, “because we do not leave everything else and rush off the instant she tells us of something that needs attention.” Miss Dix once burst into a meeting of the commission in great excitement to report that a cow was dying of sunstroke in the Smithsonian grounds. She was very peeved when the commission did not immediately adjourn to investigate.
DOHERTY, John (1783–1850), Irish politician, Lord Chief Justice of Ireland.
1 Attending a ball at Dublin Castle, Doherty and another gentleman were scandalized by the décolletage of a certain young lady. “Did you ever see anything like it since you were born, Doherty?” exclaimed the friend. “I can’t say since I was born,” Doherty answered, “but certainly since I was weaned.”
DOLE, Robert (1923–), US politician, Senate Majority leader and Republican presidential nominee (1996).
1 At a White House event, Dole observed three former Presidents standing together: Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, and Richard Nixon. “There they are,” he said, “See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil.”
2 When Elizabeth Dole was appointed secretary of transportation by President Reagan in 1985, magazines covered the Dole marriage — she as cabinet member, he as powerful senator. After a photo ran that showed them making up the bed in their apartment, a man wrote a complaining letter to Bob Dole, praising Elizabeth’s skills but adding, “You’ve got to stop doing the work around the house. You’re causing problems for men across the country.” “You don’t know the half of it,” Dole wrote back. “The only reason she was helping was because they were taking pictures.”
3 It was said that one of the challenges the notoriously cranky Dole faced in preparing to accept his party’s nomination for President was to stand in front of the mirror and work on his acceptance scowl.
4 Dole’s greatest ambition in life was to be elected President, a prize he was fated never to capture. He often joked about it, though. When he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Clinton in 1997, three days before Clinton’s second inaugural and two months after his loss at the ballot box, he began his remarks by saying, “I, Robert J. Dole, do solemnly swear … Sorry, wrong speech.”
5 On an appearance on the television show Larry King Live Dole revealed he was a test subject for the new drug Viagra, saying that it was so effective he wished he had bought stock in the company. Of his revelation, comedian Jay Leno noted that “only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.” Shortly after his wife decided to campaign for the presidency herself, Dole let slip to a reporter that he would most likely contribute money to one of her opponents, his old friend Senator John McCain. When asked about this, Elizabeth Dole said that her husband had been “sent to the woodshed” for his gaffe. And McCain noted that he had tried to call Bob Dole to accept his contribution, but the woodshed had no phone in it.
DONATELLO (c. 1386–1466), Italian Renaissance sculptor.
1 The Signori of Venice commissioned Do-natello to make the equestrian statue of the condottiere Erasmo da Narni (“Gattame-lata”) and plagued the artist with their demands that he hurry up and finish it. Exasperated by their importunities, Do-natello smashed with a hammer the nearly completed head of the statue. The Signori threatened him with similar treatment, to which Donatello retorted, “Quite agreeable, as long as you feel you will be able to reshape my head as I will do Gattamelata’s.”
DONNE, John (1572–1631), British poet, who entered the Church (1615) and became dean of St. Paul’s, London (1621–31).
1 Donne secured the post of secretary to Sir Thomas Egerton, Keeper of the Great Seal, in 1598. He outraged his employer’s family by a clandestine marriage to Anne More, the niece of Sir Thomas’s wife, and lost his job. The young couple took refuge in a house at Pyrford in Surrey. There Donne scratched on a pane of glass the words: “John Donne / An Donne / Undone.”
2 Donne was persuaded, after he took holy orders and repudiated his former ambitious and worldly life, to have his portrait painted. He posed for the painter in a winding sheet with his body and hands arranged like those of a corpse. When the picture was completed, he had it placed beside his bed as a constant reminder of mortality.
DOUGLASS, Frederick (c. 1817–95), US orator and journalist.
1 Douglass was traveling by boat from New York to Boston on a stormy night. As his Negro blood disqualified him from occupying a cabin or any of the public rooms, he was obliged to curl up in a corner of the deck to sleep. An officer came across him there and took pity on him. Knowing that he could find Douglass a stateroom if he could pass him off as an American Indian, the officer approached him with the words, “You’re an Indian, aren’t you?” Douglass at once grasped the significance of the question. Looking the officer straight in the eyes, he replied, “No, sir, I’m a nigger,” and curled up in his corner again.
DOYLE, Sir Arthur Conan (1859–1930), British writer, creator of the detective Sherlock Holmes and his colleague, Dr. Watson.
1 Joking with Doyle during a rehearsal for one of his plays, a young three-pound-a-week actor called Charlie suggested that he and Sir Arthur should pool their incomes and take hal
f each for the rest of their lives. Though amused by the proposal, Doyle declined for obvious reasons. “I don’t think so, Mr. Chaplin,” he replied.
2 In later life, Doyle became a fervent spiritualist and gave many public lectures on the subject. At one of these meetings, gesticulating enthusiastically as he spoke, he accidentally spilled a glass of water over some of the reporters in the front row. “So sorry,” said Doyle. “I seem to have baptized you, even if I don’t succeed in converting you!”
3 When Doyle did not arrive for a scheduled lecture on spiritualism, Cambridge students mounted a placard bearing the announcement: “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has failed to materialize.”
4 As part of his belief in the spiritual world, Doyle thought communication with the dead was possible. A friend once asked him to visit a fellow author who was seriously ill.
“I’ll call in tomorrow,” promised Doyle.
“Tomorrow could be too late — he may not last the night,” said his friend.
“In that case,” replied Doyle breezily, “I’ll speak to him next week.”
DRAKE, Sir Francis (?1540–1596), English admiral and explorer.
1 Drake’s most famous exploit, the “singeing of the king of Spain’s beard,” by which he destroyed thirty ships in Cadiz harbor where they were fitting out for the invasion of England, was carried out in the face of Queen Elizabeth’s reluctance to provoke the Spaniards. She hoped, despite the evidence of Spain’s warlike preparations, to reach a negotiated settlement. It was only with the utmost unwillingness that she gave the order allowing Drake, who had been hanging around in Plymouth harbor for some time, to set off on his hostile errand. No sooner had she given the order than she had second thoughts, and another dispatch rider was sent racing off toward Plymouth to countermand it. Drake however had guessed that such a second order might be forthcoming and as soon as he received the first he put to sea. A speedy boat was sent after him, but curiously enough it failed to locate his fleet. The queen was very angry, but there was nothing she could do to stop him.
2 With the English fleet in harbor, Drake and the other commanders were playing bowls on Plymouth Hoe when the news was brought on July 19, 1588, that the Spanish Armada was sailing up the English Channel. Lord Howard of Effingham, lord admiral, wanted to put to sea at once, but Drake insisted on finishing his bowls. “There is plenty of time to win this game and beat the Spaniards after.” Only when the game was over did the English captains go to their ships.
DREISER, Theodore (1871–1945), US novelist.
1 During World War I Dreiser became friendly with H. L. Mencken, made him his literary executor, and confided to him that he had chosen his own last words. They were to be “Shakespeare, I come!”
2 When Horace Liveright sold film rights for An American Tragedy for the unprecedented sum of $85,000, he couldn’t wait to tell Dreiser, and arranged to have lunch with him and Bennett Cerf. Dreiser was ecstatic at the news, but when Liveright reminded him that, by contract, Liveright would get a percentage, Dreiser exploded. “Do you mean to tell me you’re going to take $17,500 of my money?” he shouted. Throwing a steaming cup of coffee in Liveright’s face, he stalked off. Liveright mopped himself dry, and said wryly, “Bennett, let this be a lesson to you. Every author is a son of a bitch.”
DREW, John (1853–1927), US actor.
1 To play in Rosemary Drew shaved off his mustache, which greatly altered his appearance. Soon afterward he met Max Beerbohm but failed to recall who the latter was. Beerbohm, however, recognized Drew and said, “Mr. Drew, I’m afraid you don’t recognize me without your mustache.”
DREYSCHOCK, Alexander (1818–69), Czech pianist.
1 “At Dreyschock’s first court appearance [in Vienna] he played before the emperor [Francis Joseph] in a very hot room, with closed windows. Dreyschock began to perspire. The emperor listened intently and watched him even more closely. When the pianist got up and faced the emperor, he was afraid to wipe his face. The emperor approached. ‘My dear Dreyschock, I have heard Moscheles play.’ Dreyschock bowed. ‘I have heard Thal-berg.’ Dreyschock bowed lower. ‘I have heard Liszt.’ Dreyschock bowed very low indeed. ‘I have heard all the great players. But I never, never, never saw anybody perspire as you do.’”
DRYDEN, John (1631–1700), English critic and poet laureate.
1 Dryden often played hooky from classes at Westminster School in London and rarely spent much time preparing his lessons. Once when the class had been told to compose a poem on the gospel story of the conversion of water into wine, Dryden hastily scribbled: “The modest water, awed by power divine, / Beheld its God, and blushed itself to wine.” By comparison with the turgid effusions of his classmates, this couplet brought Dryden an accolade from the master, who saw in it a portent of future poetic greatness.
2 Dryden described himself as a man of grave demeanor without much of a sense of humor. However:
On one occasion his wife, Lady Elizabeth Howard, bustled into his study, feeling herself to be somewhat neglected. “Lord, Mr. Dryden,” she exclaimed, “how can you always be poring over those musty books? I wish I were a book, and then I should have more of your company.” Dryden replied, “Pray, my dear, if you do become a book let it be an almanac, for then I shall change you every year.”
3 Dryden was enjoying a convivial meeting with a group of fashionable wits, including the earls of Buckingham and Dorset. Someone proposed a poetic competition, each man present to write an impromptu composition, and Dryden to judge which was the best. The Earl of Dorset was the first to hand in his piece of paper. Dryden waited until all the contributions had been completed before he began to read them. His face showed his pleasure as he studied the succession of witty or beautiful verses, but the broadest smile spread over his countenance as he opened the Earl of Dorset’s paper. “I will have to award the prize to my Lord Dorset,” he said and then read out the earl’s contribution: “I promise to pay John Dryden, or order, on demand the sum of £500. Dorset.”
DU BARRY, Marie Jeanne Bécu, Comtesse (?1743–93), French aristocrat, mistress of Louis XV.
1 Louis XV always maintained that women could never attain to the highest excellence as cooks. Mme du Barry took the opposite view and invited the king to a supper that had been prepared by the best cuisinière in France. At the end of the meal Louis said, “Who is your cook? I must have him in the royal household.” Mme du Barry replied, “It is not a cuisinier, but a cuisinière. I demand a recompense worthy both of Your Majesty and of her. I cannot accept anything less than a cordon bleu.” The king agreed, and it was in this way that the cordon bleu — the blue ribbon of the grand cross of the Order of the Holy Spirit, the highest chivalric order under the Bourbon kings — became the accolade of an outstanding cook.
DUCLOS, Charles Pinot (1704–72), French writer and historian.
1 Jean-Pierre Bougainville, eminent man of letters and elder brother of the famous explorer, suffered from ill health. While electioneering for admission to the French Academy, he never failed to stress this fact. As he had not long to live, he would plead, he would soon give place to another. Duclos was unmoved by this argument: “Apparently, sir, you imagine that among the Academy’s other prerogatives is that of giving extreme unction.”
DU DEFFAND, Marie Anne, Marquise (1697–1780), French noblewoman and salonnière.
1 Cardinal de Polignac told Mme du Deffand, at great length and in inordinate detail, the story of how Saint Denis was decapitated at Montmartre and then walked a whole league to the village named after him, carrying his head in his hands. Seeing his narrative was evoking no response, the cardinal explained, “Do you deny that he carried his head in his hands for a whole league?”
“It’s only the first step that counts,” said Mme du Deffand.
2 Asked whether she believed in ghosts, Mme du Deffand replied, “No — but I’m afraid of them.”
DUDLEY, John William Ward, 1st Earl of (1781–1833), British politician.
1 Lord Dudley was
notoriously absentminded. One of his eccentricities was his habit of rehearsing audibly, using two voices, one gruff and one shrill, what he was going to say to others. On one occasion, when he had been asked to present a country gentleman at court, everything went smoothly until their carriage became stuck in a fearful traffic jam as they were leaving the palace. Dudley’s protégé was startled to hear his companion say, “Now this tiresome country squire will be expecting me to ask him to dine. Shall I? Or shall I not? On the whole I think not; I think he might be a bore.” The country squire was momentarily confounded, then he too soliloquized, “Now this tiresome old peer will of course be asking me to dine with him today. Shall I or not? No; I am pretty sure it would be a bore.” It was the earl’s turn to be startled, but he quickly recollected himself, laughed, and with genuine pleasure asked the squire to dine with him.
DUKE, Vernon [Vladimir Dukelsy] (1903–69), US composer, born in Russia.
1 Inspired by Duke’s famous song, a friend of the composer’s decided to spend a few weeks in Paris one April. The weather was appalling. On his return, the traveler complained at some length about his disappointing trip. “Whatever made you go to Paris in April?” asked Duke. “The weather is always terrible then.” His friend looked at him in astonishment. “I went because of your song,” he replied. “Ah, well,” explained the composer apologetically, “we really meant May, but the rhythm required two syllables.”
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