by Gail Sattler
Heather would be back in about an hour, and before that happened she needed to calm down.
A cup of herbal tea was a good place to start.
While she waited for the kettle to boil she changed into her most comfortable sweatpants and T-shirt, not caring that she had a stain on the shirt and a hole in her left knee. As she poured the boiled water into the teapot, the buzzer for the door sounded.
Natasha checked the time. Right on schedule, her upstairs neighbor’s son’s friend had arrived to play online games. He always brought his laptop computer, a bag of fast food and a large drink, and rather than put something down, he often buzzed the wrong suite. She pushed the button to answer. “You hit the wrong button again, Brad.”
“It’s not Brad. It’s me. Jeff. Can I come in?”
Natasha’s finger froze. Instead of the button to open the door, she pressed the button to speak again. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in the neighborhood and had a doughnut craving, so I brought some to share.”
The time between the phone call she never answered and his arrival was exactly the amount of time it took to drive from his house to her apartment.
“If you don’t let me in, I can always ask that nice lady on the third floor, who is already waving at me from her balcony.”
Natasha didn’t know the woman’s name, but a major part of the woman’s day seemed to be checking who came in and out. She knew many of the tenants’ friends and relatives by face, if not by name, and often let people in when she probably shouldn’t have. Most people appreciated her because she also let in tenants when they had their hands full and would have struggled with the key.
She never let Brad in, but she would let Jeff in. Natasha hit the button to open the door.
She looked down at her ratty clothes, and wiggled her bare toes. She didn’t have time to change, but she did have time to splash some cold water on her face and put on some socks.
Jeff’s knock echoed on the door just as she closed her dresser drawer.
When she opened the door he didn’t wait for an invitation, but walked straight in holding two take-out cups of coffee and a paper bag.
He continued into the kitchen, so she followed him. He set both cups on the table, and sat, making himself quite at home. “You sounded sad, so I thought I’d come over and keep you company.”
“We never spoke.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Your text sounded sad.”
All she could do was glare at him.
Jeff sighed. “You probably talked to Heather when you got home from work, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” It was the first time they’d actually spoken since Jeff told her what her sister was doing, and with whom. It hadn’t been pleasant.
He eyed her up and down. Hopefully her eyes weren’t as puffy as they’d been.
He turned to the teapot on the counter. “Looks like you’ve got your choice of beverages. If you want tea, I’ll drink both cups of coffee.” He turned back to her. “My last conversation with Heather wasn’t so great, but that was the end. That can’t happen for you. Not only is she your sister, you also live with her. I feel like I’m sticking you in the middle of everything, and you shouldn’t be there.” He opened the bag and pushed it toward her. “I probably should tell you that it’s my problem, not yours, and you should just carry on with your sister like you always have, but I know it’s not that simple. You have to live with her, and...what she’s doing is wrong.”
Natasha thought she’d managed to get her sniffles under control, but her eyes started to burn again. “You know that old standby to love the sinner but hate the sin. In so many ways it sounds so flippant, but when it comes down to the bottom line, it’s not so easy when it’s right in your face.” As if it wasn’t hard enough to deal with someone who was doing something so wrong as cheating on her fiancé with a married man, Natasha also had been in love with that now-ex-fiancé for a long time. His hurt was her hurt, made worse that her own sister was the one doing the hurting. If that weren’t bad enough, Natasha couldn’t push away the guilt at being in love with him in the first place, when he really hadn’t been hers to love. Unlike her sister, though, she hadn’t acted on pursuing a man who wasn’t free to start a relationship.
Now he was single, but she didn’t know what to do in the face of Heather’s accusations.
He looked at her in such a way that she couldn’t read his expression. Before she could try to analyze it he stood, walked to the cupboard and opened it, staring at the mugs as if trying to decide which to select. When he spoke he didn’t turn around, but remained with his back to her. “I’m probably torturing myself, but I need to hear what she said. Is she sorry for what she’s done?”
Pain coursed through her, but the best option was the truth. After all, lies were the root of the problem. The word sorry hadn’t entered the conversation, even once.
“The first thing she said was that she didn’t mean to cheat on you. She said she was just being neighborly with Zac, that they were just friends. But then it became more, and one night when his wife was away things got out of hand.”
Jeff snorted, still not turning around. “She didn’t mean it? They were sneaking around to see each other. You’re her sister—you live with her—and you didn’t even know.” He spun around. “And what does she mean by things getting out of hand? We were four weeks away from getting married! If she felt herself falling for another guy, she should have either split up with me, or stopped seeing him—not snuck around to see him behind my back.” He raised one hand, waving it in the air. “And he’s married! He should have been out of bounds!”
He paused, his chest heaving. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. This isn’t your fault.”
Heather had accused her of exactly the opposite, that it was, in fact, all Natasha’s fault. That she should have seen it, and told Heather to stop. Except that she couldn’t see what she didn’t know. “It’s okay. I know you’re upset.”
He waited as he calmed a bit, then spoke with his voice lowered. “Remember that little song we learned in Sunday school when we were kids, about fleeing from temptation? It’s even more applicable to adults. If I was spending time with a woman who tempted me, I would step away and not see her again, and get myself out of the line of fire.”
Natasha’s heart sank even more. She didn’t tempt him. At all. If she did, he would have walked away, and he certainly hadn’t done that. Over the past year she’d spent a lot of time with him, and that’s how she’d fallen in love with him.
She cleared her throat and stiffened in an attempt to give herself strength. “She said that you weren’t paying enough attention to her. Zac needed her, and you didn’t, and that’s why it happened.”
“What?” His breathing quickened, and his fists clenched.
While silence hung in the air, more of Heather’s words pierced her. Heather had accused Natasha of being unforgiving and encouraging Jeff to break up instead of reconciling. She’d said that, as sisters, Natasha should have been on her side and helped her to make things right, not to destroy her happiness.
Her words were partially true. While she hadn’t actually encouraged Jeff to break up, she had told him that it was okay that he did, that he wasn’t obligated to resume the relationship as if nothing had happened. If that hadn’t made her feel guilty enough, deep down she really didn’t want Jeff to marry Heather, not just because she didn’t think Heather and Jeff were suited. She couldn’t bear the thought of someone she loved, even though he would never love her back, being hurt by a cheating spouse, who happened to be her sister. Although obviously Jeff had loved her sister, and not her. Maybe he still did. She didn’t know, and she was too afraid to ask.
Jeff looked at the clock on the stove, and stood. “I know she’s going to be home in a few minutes. If I see her I’m going to say someth
ing I’ll later regret. I think we should go. Besides, I think you need a change of scenery.”
Before she could question his use of the word we, he took her wrist and led her to the door.
“I don’t want to see her, either, but I’m a mess. I can’t go anywhere looking like this.”
He eyed her up and down, only pausing for a second at the hole in her knee. “I go places with holes in my jeans all the time. But if it bugs you we’ll go someplace where no one will see you.”
“Wait. I need my purse.”
She ran to the kitchen, grabbed her purse, then hurried back to the door, where Jeff stood with his arms crossed. She slipped her feet into her sneakers, and once they were in the hall, he stopped only long enough for her to lock the door, then ran down the hall, still holding her wrist, to the elevator, and hit the button. It opened within seconds.
Fortunately, no one was in the lobby when the door opened. He once again grabbed her wrist, and they rushed out to his car.
Before she could ask where they were going, he put the car into Reverse, ready to back up.
Heather’s car came around the corner, then turned to the entrance for the underground parking.
Instead of watching her sister, she turned to Jeff. He gritted his teeth and clenched the steering wheel in a death grip. “I know the perfect place. Buckle up.”
* * *
Jeff grasped the steering wheel tighter to stop his hands from shaking.
When he’d gotten out of the elevator on Tasha’s floor and looked down the hall, he’d had a flashback of the moment he’d seen Heather locked in the arms of the other man.
Not only was she not sorry, now she’d upset Tasha.
He didn’t know why he’d dragged Tasha with him, except that he didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe it was because after what happened, even though he didn’t know all the details, he didn’t want Tasha to be alone, either.
What a pair they made.
One day, they’d be able to look back and analyze the decisions they’d made. But for now, he knew he wasn’t thinking all that rationally. He’d dragged her out of her home when she obviously wasn’t prepared to be seen in public. He would have to make it up to her.
He turned to her and tried to smile, but knew it looked as lame as it felt. “I think I left the doughnuts on your table. Are you hungry?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Did you eat supper?”
She shook her head again, and pressed her hands to her stomach. “No.”
Then he needed to find her some comfort food, except he didn’t know anywhere that served bacon on a take-out basis at suppertime. “I promised I knew the perfect place to go, but it would be more perfect if we brought something to eat. How about if I pick up a couple of burgers, and we’ll have something better another time.”
Her hands remained pressed to her stomach. “I’m really not hungry.”
“I am, and I don’t want to eat alone.”
He headed for the nearest burger place that had a drive-through window. Once the bag of warm food was in the car, her stomach grumbled, which confirmed his suspicion. He drove quickly to the park and pulled into a spot at the far end of the lot, away from the other cars.
She looked around them, but didn’t get out of the car. “What are we doing here?”
“We’re going to have supper, then we’re going to go for a walk. Is that okay with you?”
She looked out the window. “We were just here a few days ago.” She turned back to him. “Are we here because you’re hoping to see more ducks?”
“We won’t see any now—it will be dark in less than an hour. But it’s a nice walk, and I think we both need it.”
She turned toward the sun, which was already golden and nearly touching the horizon. “I think even less than half an hour. It’s getting cold in the evenings. I wonder if we’re going to need jackets?”
He hadn’t brought a jacket because when he left home he’d only thought of going from the car to the building. Likewise, all Tasha had was a T-shirt, leaving her arms bare. People already on the path all wore jackets. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all.”
She turned to him and rested one hand on his arm. “It’s okay. How about if we eat in the car, then instead of going for a walk we can just jog to the lake, look for some ducks and jog back.”
“Sure.”
They ate in silence, which was fine with Jeff. He didn’t know what to say, anyway.
Tasha sighed. “The sunset sure is pretty, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Sitting in the car at the almost-deserted park watching the sunset made him think of high school, how the guys would bring a girl here hoping for a romantic moment, which hadn’t ever happened to him. Of course, now he knew what to do to make such a moment romantic, but he was with Tasha.
It was getting a little chilly, and he wished he’d bought two coffees instead of iced soft drinks. He was about to ask if she wanted to just forget it and go home when she stuffed her empty wrappers in the bag and started digging through her purse. “What are you doing?”
“Getting my camera. That sunset is really pretty. I think the prettiest sunsets are in the fall, don’t you?”
“I guess. I’ve never really thought about it.”
“I’m ready, let’s go.”
The second the doors opened, a cold draft blew through the car. “Wait. I just thought of something. I need to get something out of the trunk.”
She didn’t wait. While he went to the rear of the car, Tasha jogged to the shore of the lake. As soon as he got what he wanted, he joined her.
“Hold still,” he said, then stepped close beside her and tossed the blanket around their shoulders.
“How did you get this?”
“I always keep a blanket and a bag of kitty litter in the trunk. Just in case.”
She turned to him. “In case of what? You think you’re going to find a cat in distress from holding it too long?”
Jeff shook his head. “No. If it snows and you get stuck, you put cat litter in front of the drive tires to provide a little traction, and you can get out.”
“Really?”
“That’s what I read. It’s never happened to me, but if it does, I’m ready. That’s also why I have the blanket. It’s part of my emergency kit.”
Tasha giggled, which he thought was a good thing. “This isn’t an emergency. But the blanket is probably a good idea.”
As he steadied the half of the blanket on her shoulder, Tasha raised her camera and started taking her pictures. When she lowered the camera to check her shot he flipped the blanket so his arm was under it, then grasping a handful of it, he put his arm over her shoulders and held the corner under her chin to cover her more completely. To get maximum warmth, he shuffled so they were pressed together side by side, and pulled the blanket more securely around both of them.
Tasha stiffened. “What are you doing?”
“Keeping us warm. It’s cold with the breeze coming over the lake.” The blanket felt comfortably warm, and good. But not only the blanket... He liked having Tasha snuggled in beside him, his arm around her shoulders. It somehow felt...right.
“I guess you’re right. Just before you came with the blanket my teeth were starting to chatter.” She raised the camera and moved it around in front of her to compose her shot.
He raised his left hand, with his side of the blanket still grasped in his fist, and pointed to one of the tall trees. “That would make a good shot. See how the red of the sunset is peeking through the branches?”
“Yeah. That looks good.” She turned and snapped a few shots, then turned back to the way she’d been facing before.
Jeff simply watched. He hadn’t taken the time to just relax and take photos for a long time. I
t was something he’d always enjoyed, and he didn’t know when, or why, he’d stopped. Although mostly, he suspected it was simply because Heather didn’t like to take walks in the park, especially along the dusty path. As time went on, instead of walking on the trails, they’d done their walking on the concrete, window-shopping. He didn’t mind window-shopping, but now that he was at the park, it was no contest; he liked walking along the trail more.
Almost as if he needed to prove a point, Jeff motioned to the left with his head. “I think we’d be warmer if we walked a bit. Want to?”
Tasha paused for a few seconds, then shrugged her shoulders, turned off her camera and slipped it into her pocket. “I don’t see why not. The sun is almost down, but we still have a few minutes.”
He almost asked if she wanted him to bring the blanket back to the car, but then thought of how nice it felt to be sharing their body heat against the breeze off the lake.
As he turned she looked at him with raised eyebrows. All he did was smile at her and give her shoulder a little squeeze. She capitulated by allowing him to guide their turn toward the trail, then walked with him, tucked in the blanket, along the shoreline.
All Jeff could think of was how relaxed he felt as they ventured slowly alongside the water’s edge. How right this was, and how much he needed this break. He hoped she felt the same, but he didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words.
Beside him, Tasha sighed. “This was a really good idea. Getting away from it all. Thanks.”
“No worries. But we need to turn around. I brought my blanket, but I didn’t bring my emergency flashlight. I don’t want us to trip on the uneven ground on the way back to the car.”
He felt the movement of Tasha wiggling under the blanket. One hand stuck out from beneath the blanket, holding her cell phone. She pushed the button and looked at the screen. “I have lots of battery left. This is my emergency flashlight.”
He grinned at her ingenuity, and they kept going in silence.
They walked until they couldn’t make out any detail in the gravel path, then stopped to look at the lake, shimmering in the last feeble glimmers of light.