Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
PROTECT YOURSELF
Copyright and credits
About the publisher
Find out about FunDza
Chapter 1
Lelethu lay in bed next to her cousin. She wished she was far, far away. Outside her aunt’s house there were unfamiliar sounds: taxis hooting, people shouting and music pumping from the shebeen at the end of the road. They weren’t the sounds of the rural village she had come from: the wind in the trees outside the hut, the chickens scratching in the yard and her uncle snoring. No, she was in the big city, like she had wanted to be. And she hated it.
The first day at her cousin’s school had been a nightmare. Her cousin hadn’t introduced her to anybody. In fact, she had turned her back on Lelethu to talk to her friends. They had whispered and giggled and Lelethu had been sure they were gossiping about her.
In class she hadn’t understood a thing. When the teacher had asked her what she thought of a character in a book they were reading she had stared blankly at him, like some village idiot. The teacher in her old school had never asked students their opinion. He had just made them copy notes off the board.
The next lesson was even worse. The teacher had made her stand up and tell everybody about herself. The whole class had laughed at how bad her English was and she had wanted to disappear. Why had she ever asked to come to the city? Why had she begged her mother to send her?
* * *
“Wake up, Lelethu!” She felt someone’s sharp fingernails poking her shoulder. “Wake up, you lazy girl! Your mother promised us you would work hard in the house. Get up and help me make porridge.” Lelethu’s aunt was leaning over her, shouting in her ear.
Lelethu sat up, bumping her cousin who groaned and rolled over. “Be careful, you clumsy girl. Don’t wake up Bontle. She needs her beauty sleep,” hissed her aunt.
In the kitchen Lelethu stirred the porridge on the stove. Her eyes were burning with tiredness; she had hardly slept. “You’re going to spill,” her aunt warned, watching her every move.
Lelethu felt a surge of anger. She hadn’t come to Cape Town to be her aunt’s servant! “And don’t you look at me like that, girl, unless you really want trouble,” her aunt went on.
Lelethu looked away. She wouldn’t say anything now. But soon … soon she would show her aunt and her cousin that she couldn’t be pushed around. She would show them, she thought, as she banged the pot down on the stove as loudly as she could.
“I’m hungry,” Bontle said, coming up behind Lelethu and looking to see if the porridge was ready.
“Lelethu will serve you, my baby, sit down,” her mother said. Lelethu turned to look at the two of them, waiting to be served. She wouldn’t do it.
“I am not your servant,” she said, “I will not serve my own cousin.”
The slap came before she knew it. Her aunt’s hand stung the skin on her arm.
“You do not talk to me like that. Do you hear me?” She looked like she was going to slap Lelethu again. “I knew this was a bad idea, letting you come and stay in our house. Is your mother paying me for your keep? No. She said you would be helpful to me. I’m going to tell her what an ungrateful, cheeky girl you are.”
Lelethu couldn’t believe her aunt was like this. Whenever she had visited before she had been friendly and kind. But that was when Lelethu’s mother had been there too. It was hard to believe it was the same person. Still, Lelethu wasn’t ready to be sent home. “I am sorry, Auntie,” she said softly, thinking of her mother, whose blood pressure was high enough already. If she heard bad stories about Lelethu it would make things so much worse for her. Lelethu was her shining hope, especially now that her daughter was getting a good education in a better school. That is why she had agreed for her to come to the city. But here was Lelethu, feeling sore and angry and lonely. How was she ever going to carry on?
She spooned out porridge into the bowls, and saw her aunt checking that she had not taken too much for herself. Bontle muttered a word of thanks without looking at her. They sat down together at the table and her aunt said grace. Lelethu felt bitterness in her heart. What would God think of her aunt’s behaviour, she wondered, as they ate in silence.
When they had finished Lelethu and Bontle quickly got ready for school. Bontle had had her own room before Lelethu arrived. And she had made it clear to Lelethu that she was not happy that she now had to share it with her cousin.
Lelethu did feel bad. If she had her own room she would not want to share it either. But that was just a dream – it would never happen. Back at home she shared a room with her mother and two cousins. Until she came to her aunt’s house she couldn’t imagine living in a place with a bathroom inside the house with taps for hot and cold water. At home if they wanted water they had to fetch it. It was a long walk to the river and it was freezing in the winter. If you had told her then that she would be able to walk into a bathroom and turn on a hot tap she would have sung for joy. But this morning she would do anything to be able to go back to her village, to talk and laugh with her friends as they walked across the fields to fetch water. It was so much nicer than being here with this strange silence between her and Bontle.
She waited to use the bathroom. Once inside she looked in the mirror. She had always thought of herself as pretty, with her heart-shaped face, full lips and slender body. But this mirror seemed to be mocking her, looking for Bontle’s soft cheeks and curves.
On their way to school Bontle walked ahead of Lelethu. She spotted a group of friends outside the spaza shop and ran to greet them. Lelethu had only just caught up when they walked off without even looking back to see if she was coming with them. Lelethu was not surprised. That was exactly what had happened the day before. Bontle was a year older than her, and had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with her – in or out of school.
She walked behind the giggling schoolgirls, kicking a stone along the pavement. All the girls had nice cell phones, and one of them was showing Bontle a picture of some guy she liked. Their laughter made Lelethu feel even lonelier.
She thought of her friend, Pholisa, back at home. They had been friends from when they were tiny and knew each other inside out. When they were smaller they had formed a special gang, with a sign they gave each other: a closed fist with just the small pinkie finger standing straight. It meant you belonged to each other. The gang was over now. But Pholisa and Lelethu still made the sign to each other. It was their sign of friendship.
Lelethu made it now, looking at her pinkie. Where was Pholisa at this moment? She had been angry when Lelethu had decided to come to Cape Town – they had even fought about it. But then they had cried and laughed together, and promised to stay friends forever. Pholisa had told her Cape Town was horrible and Lelethu hadn’t believed her. But maybe she was right.
There were so many people walking up and down the road. They were busy. They had places to go and people to meet – all except her. A man leered at her as she turned the corner. “Why do you look so sad, girlie? Come over here. I’ll show you a good time.”
The anger and loneliness in Lelethu exploded in her. She spat on the ground in f
ront of him and ran off, hearing his angry shouts behind her.
Chapter 2
She walked into her first Maths class. It was less crowded than the Maths class in her old school, but there were still the same kinds of kids. At the front were the keen girls: their skirts long, their books open in front of them, their heads huddled over homework. One of them looked up and smiled at her. The naughty girls were at the back of the class – the ones who didn’t listen to the teacher and tried to avoid doing any work at all. Now they were sitting in a group around one girl’s desk, laughing and joking noisily.
The teacher walked in and banged on the desk. Lelethu remained standing by the door, waiting to be told what to do. Most people, even the tall slouchy boys in the far corner, sat down, but the girls at the back stayed in their group. The teacher banged again.
“You girls! Get to your seats so we can start the class.”
Lelethu couldn’t help smiling to see their pouts and their defiant walks as they swayed their hips slowly from side to side on the way back to their desks.
“So, you’re the new girl,” the teacher said. Lelethu felt everyone’s eyes on her.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Sit down there,” he said, pointing to a desk near the door.
Lelethu sat down, hoping everyone would stop looking at her. One of the girls in the front lent her a textbook and shared with a partner. Lelethu read the name on the cover: Busi Mafanya. Busi smiled at her again. Lelethu smiled back. But before opening the textbook she couldn’t help craning her head to see the girls at the back. Two were whispering, the others looked on the verge of sleep.
In the next class the Life Science teacher was absent and the class went mad. One girl was drawing a big heart on the blackboard with the words, “P and M forever”. Lelethu sat at the back, watching the boys trying to impress the girls. She spun around when she felt a tap on her shoulder. One of the boys was leaning across the desk behind her.
“Hey, mafikizolo,” he said, “what are you staring at?”
“Nothing,” said Lelethu. But it was too late. Three of the biggest, loudest boys were already at her desk before she could get up.
“She smells like cow shit, don’t you think?” one asked. Nearby girls shrieked with laughter. Lelethu gave them a deadly look.
“Pasop, she’s going to hit you,” another teased the boy.
“You want to hit me, noh ten days, here’s my cheek,” said the biggest of the boys, pushing his face into hers.
Before she knew it Lelethu had slapped him across the face. She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop herself. Her mother had always complained about her quick temper. Pholisa had warned her that her hot head would get her into trouble. The boy shouted and his face contorted. Then he pulled her up by her shirt and threw her down to the floor. It was so quick she had no time to get away, or even to realise what was happening. Her head hit the dirty concrete. Then the boys walked away slowly, laughing.
Most of the class hadn’t realised what had happened – it was so fast. Busi saw, and came over to her. But Lelethu didn’t want her pity. “I’m fine,” she said, and Busi backed off.
She brushed down her skirt and sat down at her desk. Her head was pounding, and she felt shaky. She knew bullies like this who hit girls. But they didn’t know her. They didn’t know how strong she really was. They couldn’t crush her. Let them laugh now; she would get her revenge.
* * *
She was late for English and hoped the teacher wouldn’t notice her creeping in and sitting down at the back. But she didn’t miss a trick. “Late on your second day – that’s not a good start, Lelethu.” When Lelethu didn’t answer she said firmly, “Lelethu, I am speaking to you. Please stand up and apologise.”
“Sorry, Miss.” She looked down at her shoes.
“Sorry, Miss,” the other students echoed, imitating her strong accent.
“Be quiet, the rest of you!” the teacher said. “You know what will happen if you make fun of the way people talk.”
Everyone immediately kept quiet. At the unusual silence, Lelethu looked up. So this teacher could make people listen to her; not many of the others could. And she liked the fact that this teacher had told off the students for mocking her. She would not be late for her class again, she told herself.
“Open your books on page 92. I want you to take turns reading with the person next to you.”
The person sitting next to Lelethu was Busi. Before she started reading she leaned across to Lelethu and said in a low voice, “You should tell Miss about Dumile.” Lelethu looked at her, confused. “You should tell her about Dumile – the boy who hit you. Miss Nombembe, she will send him to the principal.”
“And then what?” Lelethu asked. “He’ll just beat me harder next time. No, don’t worry about me. I’ll get him.”
Busi started to say something, but the teacher was coming towards them, and she quickly started reading. Lelethu was glad to notice that Busi read slowly, making many mistakes. When it was Lelethu’s turn she read very softly, hoping that nobody would hear how difficult she found it.
* * *
At break Busi and her friends were sitting in a circle. Busi called out to her. “Hi, Lelethu, do you want to join us?” She looked at their friendly faces, all turned towards her. She knew they had heard about Dumile beating her. She did not want their pity.
“No thanks,” she said. “I’m OK.” She put her head down and walked past as if she was going somewhere important. She made her way to the toilet. But it was stinky, not a good place to hang out. As she walked out she saw Busi going in. Was she following her to see if she was all right? Why was she being so friendly?
At the other end of the courtyard she saw her cousin Bontle and her friends chatting to a group of boys. They didn’t even look up when Lelethu walked past. “Just you wait,” Lelethu thought to herself. “I’m going to make friends without your help.”
On the way to Geography she passed the group of girls she had seen at the back of the Maths class. Princess, who seemed like the leader, was telling a funny story and wiggling her hips, which made the others collapse with laughter. Then they started singing, and all of them were swaying their hips sexily. They were confident and cool, just like she had been back in the Eastern Cape, where everyone thought she was so wild and fun. And now everyone saw her as the green girl raw from the village.
* * *
The day dragged. It seemed ages till she finally got out of the school gates and walked home, alone. She heard her phone beeping with an SMS. It was Pholisa. Her heart raced to see her familiar name.
Hud?
Kwl
Then her phone rang. Pholisa was calling!
“Chommie,” said Lelethu. “I can’t believe you’ve actually got airtime. Did you win the lotto or something?”
“Shut up, Lele,” laughed Pholisa. “I’m missing you, my girl. How’s the big city?”
“It’s so cool,” answered Lelethu.
“Have you made new friends already?” Pholisa asked.
Lelethu thought of her lonely break. “Of course,” she said. “Everyone’s fighting to be friends with me over here.”
Pholisa laughed again. “Oh, I miss your jokes,” she said. “You sound the same even though you’re in Cape Town. I would be absolutely terrified!”
“Oh, it’s easy,” said Lelethu. “I’m having a great time.”
But the phone was already beeping. Pholisa was cut off with no more airtime.
Lelethu thought about phoning her back. But she didn’t want to tell Pholisa the truth either – that she was lonely, that she hadn’t made any new friends yet. So she carried on walking. She unlatched the little gate to her aunt’s house and opened the door. Bontle was already there, drinking coffee at the kitchen table.
“Do you like our school?” she asked.
Lelethu felt angry. Why was Bontle so friendly at home when she hadn’t even spoken to her at school?
“Didn’t you see me at break time?” she asked. “I came looking for you.”
“No,” Bontle stammered. “Sorry. Do you want some coffee?”
But Lelethu walked past her to their bedroom without answering.
Chapter 3
“Hurry up with the porridge,” her aunt called. Lelethu dragged herself out of bed. She was surprised when Bontle got up with her.
“I’ll do it,” she said to Bontle. She did not want Bontle to be nice now – it made it harder to be angry with her.
“Thanks, cousin,” said Bontle, lying back in bed.
“Your mother phoned,” said her aunt, as Lelethu walked into the kitchen.
“What did you tell her?” asked Lelethu.
“What do you think?” said her aunt. “I said you seemed fine. But it’s early days. I can see that you don’t like obeying me. So just you watch yourself.”
“Yes, Auntie,” said Lelethu, trying to hide her anger. But she served the porridge roughly, and the spoon scraped and clattered against the metal pot.
This time, on the way to school, Bontle tried to walk next to her before she met her friends. But Lelethu pretended she needed to buckle her shoe. “Go on,” she said to Bontle. “Your friends are waiting.”
Bontle waited for a second, but Lelethu took her time, so Bontle walked on to meet the group of girls waiting for her.
* * *
Lelethu walked into the classroom. She had noticed a desk that no one sat in, a desk near the noisy, rebellious girls. She marched confidently to the back and sat down. The girls came in later and ignored her, buzzing among themselves.
“Did you hear what Lonwabiso said to Zikhona? He really thinks he’s isibethi.”
Lelethu craned her head to hear more, but they spoke softly, erupting in laughter every now and then.
A boy came up to them. “Hello, ladies,” he said cheerily.
They all screeched with laughter. “Go home to mama, baby boy,” said Princess. “We don’t have time for you here.”
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