“I must. Now, rest, my son. And remember, you are loved.”
I wake feeling more peace than I have in months, maybe years. The vivid dream rewinds and plays again as I lay in the morning light. Rolling over, I glance at the time. I still have time to make it to work on time.
I can’t believe how rested I feel. As I sit up and put my feet on the floor, I feel something strange under my foot. Glancing down, I freeze.
There is a leather bound journal on the floor, the one my mom gave me in the dream.
Chapter Nineteen
Devin
Cora lays naked and sleeping in my bed. Finally, she’s mine. I don’t have to share her, or pretend anything. I can be me now.
My wings and eyes don’t frighten her now. The fear came off and on the first few days, but now the darkness is starting to take root, and she’s beginning to forget.
She doesn’t mention Andrew now, or that baby she wanted. The one that started this whole mess. I thought about asking her about him, to gauge her reaction, but decided against it. It’s only been a week. A bit early in the game for her to have completely lost herself to this place.
I’ve had people here before, once or twice. It’s been hundreds of years, and this is the first time that I’ve ever taken someone by force. In the past, it’s been their choice. What Cora doesn’t know is that she could leave, all she has to do is ask. I’d be forced to let her go.
Judging by the look in her eyes, she’s past that point now. When she looks at me, she appears lost.
I can see the darkness leaking into her soul. Eventually, her eyes will change. For now, when she’s awake they are still brown, but they lack the light that they had before. The spark is fading.
It’s a beautiful sight.
I walk out of the bedroom and sit across from Xander at the table. He stares at me with a cocky smile, telling me he’s finally satisfied with the situation.
“How is she?” he asks, as if he didn’t already know.
“Losing herself. Forgetting, just as you wanted. She believes that I… have… feelings for her.” I can’t force out the word love.
He smiles. “Just what you wanted. But you have your pet now, and we seem to have accomplished our goal. But we can’t relax, you know that can never really happen.”
I swallow, glancing towards the bedroom door. “I understand. She’s almost there, but not yet. I can’t risk mentioning him and bringing back any memories at this point. I’d have to start all over. And what of your back up plans?” I drum my fingers on the shiny black glass tabletop. I glance at his reflection in the surface; his abysmal eyes disappear in his reflection.
“Well, the husband is at his breaking point. He’s a mess, calling and texting me every day to see if I’ve talked to you. He has no clue what’s happened and everyone telling him she’s just left him has taken a major toll on him. And Marilyn, she’s…,” he laughs lightly and cocks his head. “She’s a goner. It’s only a matter of time before she’s pregnant with my back up plan.”
I raise my eyebrow. “I never expected you to pick such a woman to be his mother.”
His smile fades and I know I’ve crossed a line. I swallow.
“Well, this… dark messiah… if you please… where would you expect him to come from? The antipode of Christ can’t come from a nun now can he? Just a man, born of a woman whose mind has become lost to the devil himself. She’s going to lose her job and end up looking for ways to pay for her new habits.”
He must be in a good mood to overlook my slight insubordination. I breathe relief.
“So, the child isn’t your son?”
“No, the Anti-Christ is not my son. You know how it goes, don’t be stupid. He’s ruled heart and head by me when the time is right. Cultivated from conception to be… special. With Cora’s child eliminated and our dark messiah soon to be, we can’t lose this one.” He smiles a slow, knowing smile.
I heard Cora stir in the bed. A strange moan floats out of the room.
“Have you remembered to feed her?” Xander asks me.
I search my memory.
“You know, she is mortal, stupid. If you don’t feed her she will die and your plaything will be gone. Don’t starve her to death. We are bound by His orders not to harm her.” He furrows his brow at me.
I nod, moving to the fridge that sits empty. I summon food, and when I open it, I find some orange juice and a sandwich. He’s right, I have to remember to feed her. I grab the plate and the bottle and pass Xander on the way to the bedroom to leave the food for her on the nightstand.
***
Andrew
The book stares up at me from the floor by my bed. Dark, buttery leather, embossed with strange markings I’ve never seen before. A long, leather strap secures the pages.
“This can’t be right.” I toe the book. It’s real enough.
The dream is vivid, so vivid that it seems like it really happened. Bending, I pick it up. Just a little bit larger than my big hands, I untie it, thumb the empty, lined pages. Dream. For the first time in months, I laugh. It’s more from relief than joy. My mom came to see me. It’s one of those thinks that you like to believe in but never think is real.
My dead mom came to me. She wrapped her arms around me. I put the book to my nose; I can still smell the faint hints of her perfume. White Diamonds. I laugh again, casting my gaze towards the ceiling.
It doesn’t seem real, but it apparent that it is.
Unfortunately, I still don’t have any real answers. She told me that Cora is alive, but she’s been deceived, and told me to write to her in the book, and that she will forget.
You must make her remember.
Remember what? Me? What am I supposed to write?
Confused, I set the book aside and retrieve my clothes for work. It won’t help if I’m unemployed on top of everything else.
A child. She will be a leader.
I smile, warmth surrounding me. What will she look like?
“Well, Mom, I’ll try it. I’ll write. I have no idea what’s going on, or how to get to her, but I guess that if you helped me once maybe you will help me again,” I say to the ceiling, pulling on soft worn jeans. “Thanks.”
With renewed hope, I finish dressing and walk out the door.
My boss, a fifty-something guy with a perma-tan from working in the sun for thirty years, removes his sunglasses as I walk in. I pick up my welders mask and supplies.
“Well, nice of you to join us here again,” he says, as I pass the open bay door and into a garage style warehouse with a massive fan running instead of an air conditioner. “You finally get all your drama resolved then?” he calls louder, over the invasive noise.
I glance over my shoulder at him as I walk by. “No. Nothing has been resolved.”
“What did you do, give up?” He lowers his dark glasses, pulling out a cigarette.
“No. I found a little bit of faith.”
He snorts as if I’ve told a stupid joke, then waves me off with a get to work.
That night, I sit alone in the room that I’ve started to call mine now that I’ve been here so long. Wadded up trash from a nearby burger joint sits on the bed. My wet hair drips on the open, blank page of the book that lays open before me. I rub the damp towel through my showered hair one last time and toss it into a corner, wishing Cora were here to yell at me about not hanging it up.
Knowing that she is alive, somewhere, has almost been enough to give me my smile back.
I’d take anything right now, yelling, crying. Any of it is better than this not knowing. The insurance man called me to set up a meeting about our house and the fire; she would be on my ass about that, too. Telling me that two hundred and fifty thousand dollars is nothing to drag my feet over. Nagging me about finding an apartment instead of bunking here at Eric’s house for months now.
She’s right, of course. I laugh at myself for succumbing to her pretend nagging in the back of my brain. I click the pen in my hand and touch it to the pag
e.
Part Three: The Fall
Chapter Twenty
Cora
My stomach grinds and growls as I turn in the bed. My back aches from laying here too long.
Where am I again? Oh, Devin’s place, the sight of Eve, the darkness.
I sit up, stretching my sore back with no tangible way to know how long I’ve slept. No sunlight in this murky world. No moon shining in the night sky, no clocks anywhere in this apartment. Devin said that for him and his kind, there is no such thing as time. They are eternal creatures.
It appears that I’m here alone. I make my way to the fridge. Devin promised me that he wouldn’t forget to feed me again, swore that there would be food if I needed it. I rub my painfully, empty stomach and open the door. A plate of what looks like chicken fried steak and potatoes with gravy, corn, and some rolls sit on the top shelf. The rest of the fridge is empty. Ravenous, I take the food, not bothering to sit. I devour it at the counter, filling my stomach.
This place is so strange but, somehow, it’s grown on me. Like home, but not, if that makes sense. And I’m alone most of the time now. Devin comes back when he’s hungry for me, but that’s pretty much it. It’s no relationship. There’s no TV or anything, so somedays I just sit and stare out the window. Other days I sleep. I haven’t tried to leave, but I did try the door once and found that it wasn’t locked.
With nothing else to do, I trek back to the bedroom. I’ll have to ask him for some form of entertainment, a book or something. He’s such an airhead that he forgets that I’m a human and I get bored just sitting here waiting for his return after his extended outings. I have no idea what he’s doing, but considering that he’s a demon, I’m sure he’s up to no good.
It doesn’t matter. Nothing really does now. I fall back into the unmade bed with a sigh, watching the patterns in the darkness as they move like strange clouds hanging all around me. My head falls on something hard. Reaching under my pillow, I find a leather book that appears to be a journal.
This wasn’t here before. I wonder where it came from.
Unfastening the long leather strap, I open it to find familiar handwriting on the first page and a dim, yet somehow alluring light seeping from the pages. It’s somehow familiar, but I can’t place why.
I trace the words with my fingers, feel the weight of the heavy paper as I thumb through the book. The book smells of cologne. I put it to my nose and it stirs something deep inside my chest, something that awakens an almost painful ache that I don’t understand. Despite the strange sensation, I breathe deep, and find the pain almost comforting.
It’s nice to feel something. Since I’ve been here, I find myself growing more and more numb. Sometimes I’m aware of it, other times I just roll over and go back to staring at the walls until I fall asleep.
My name is on the first page. I settle back on the pillow and take in the scent of the page once more before I read it.
Cora,
You know that I’ve never been good with words, yet here I am. My mom brought me this book and told me that I need to write to you. I guess starting out a letter saying, ‘my mom told me too’ isn’t really romantic but, somehow, this book won’t let me cross out anything after I’ve written it. Not to mention, my mom died two years ago.
I guess I can start there. You’ve been missing now for a short while. It feels like an eternity. I try not to count the days, but I can’t stop myself. Anyway, I slept for the first time in days last night and Mom came to me while I was sleeping. I thought it was a dream but, when I woke up, I found this book and it had her scent on it just like in the dream. She gave it to me and told me that God had allowed her to come to comfort me. She held me and told me that you are alive, and that you have been deceived. I don’t pretend to know, or understand, what that means but she said that I would. She also told me that I should do this to protect our child.
Our child. She said it’s a girl. She is to be a leader. Can you believe this? All this crap started because of kids and now I find out from Heaven itself that we will have some sort of blessed child?
I wish I knew what was going on. I feel so helpless. I can’t seem to make myself do anything without you, like sort through the insurance for the house fire, or get an apartment to get out of Eric’s house. He said I can stay but I feel like I’m in the way because it’s been so long now. But, without you, I can’t. Moving into a new place without you feels like moving on, and I can’t ever do that.
You are my every thought, Cora. I’ll go anywhere this journey takes me to find you and bring you home. I am no poet, all I know is how I feel. Right now, I feel empty and alone. I had you back in my arms for less than two days, and my world was complete again. I realized what a stupid thing I had done only to have you snatched away from me to oblivion.
I’ve talked to Xander and tried to reach that guy Devin. Devin has vanished too. I assume he has something to do with this? Wherever you are, don’t give up. Don’t forget me. I love you with my whole heart, my soul, and I’ll never stop looking for you.
Love,
Andy
Andy. The name echoes. Andy.
I see his face, but it’s like a long forgotten dream. I am only able to recall the shadows of what might have been, not the details. My love. It must be his scent on the pages. I breathe it in again, and it both hurts and sooths and I don’t understand it.
Why did Devin take me from him? My head aches as I reach for an answer, but I don’t find it.
I turn the page, and a pen falls from the pages that wasn’t there before.
***
Devin
I walk in the door, hungry for her. She’s in the shower. I open the glass door without warning; she shows no hint of alarm. Her once bright eyes now swirl with darkness. It dances in her gaze when she turns to me, soap dripping down her naked flesh. I push her against the wall and bend my head, the water dripping and soaking my long hair. I take in the scent of her bare skin deep into my lungs as I slide my hands roughly over her body.
Cora inhales, and looks up at me as I push her hair out of her face. It’s been over two weeks, and we don’t really talk anymore. It’s not necessary now that she knows where she is, and who I am. Especially now that the darkness is burrowing inside her. Eventually, she will die inside leaving her blackened and hollow, a mere shell of what she once was. The formality of conversation is pointless. We both know why she’s here, and she isn’t complaining.
She watches as I move to touch her, she pants when I move, digs her nails into my shoulders when I pull her hair and growl in her ear. The sounds she makes, the smell of her, the feel of her warmth wrapped around me makes me ferocious, and I take it out on her.
When I’m satisfied, she sits on the shower floor, exhausted and shivering in the cold spray of the shower. I wave my hand and the water warms again. She thanks me.
“Have you eaten?” I ask, as she looks up at me.
She nods. “Yes, I ate. Do you have to leave? I’m…” She hesitates.
“What do you need? Whatever it is, I’ll take care of it.” I turn off the water, hand her an oversized towel.
I watch her stand, wrap the towel around her body. She’s lost some weight. Her gaze falls to the floor as if she’s afraid to ask me, which is strange. Fear of my reaction leads me to believe there are emotions involved, and I know that can’t be right, not in this place, not with me. If she were with an angel, maybe, but not here with me.
“Nothing, it’s just I’m here alone all the time and there is nothing to do.”
She steps out of the shower. I don’t move away, and she’s forced to brush against me. I catch her face, turning it up to mine with one hand under her chin. I touch her lips with my thumb, she breathes in, and I sense her arousal. “Name it and it’s yours.”
The black clouds in her iris’ dance. She lowers her towel, purposely revealing her thick, bare breasts to me. “Just stay a bit longer, and entertain me.” Cora trails her fingers down my chest, down to my engorge
ment and she grabs me. I suck in a breath. It’s the first time she’s been bold enough to act like this.
I smile, glancing up from where her hand wraps around me. She bites her lip and I grin.
“Of course. All you have to do is ask.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Andrew
If Cora was in my thoughts before, now, with this book waiting for me, it’s even worse. I haven’t opened it in a couple of days, unsure of what to expect or what to say when I do. It taunts me, shoved under the mattress. I dream about the damn thing when I can find sleep.
At least I have some form of relief knowing she is alive. It’s not much, but it is something.
“You will think I’m nuts,” I argue. Eric brings me a beer.
“How’s that different from any other day? We are family. I won’t commit you or anything.” He pops the top of the Mexican import and throws it towards the trash. It bounces back, missing by a mile.
I hesitate. We were raised by the same family, same belief system, mostly. However, going into what I believe and what’s happened is another story. I don’t begin to understand it myself, how am I supposed to explain it to someone else? He’s the only person I really talk to, but I don’t know how to talk about this.
He leans forward on the dining chair, putting his elbows on the table.
“Look, Andy. Just get it out. You obviously need to talk about it. You think I can’t hear you at night? Yelling from those nightmares you have? You call for her in your sleep every night. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes.”
“It’s not just that. It’s….” I meet my cousins hazel eyes. “It’s what has happened. I don’t know how to explain what I don’t understand.”
“Just tell me.”
I swallow a long sip. The story finally tumbles out. My mom, the prayer, the book. He stares at me with ever widening eyes, and I’m not sure if he believes me or is ready to call an ambulance for me.
“… So you have the book? Can I see it?” He leans back.
“No, it’s private. I don’t want you to read what I wrote to her.”
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