Lawson’s rapt expression turned into pure shock. “You aren’t?”
He shook his head. “We all fall short of being completely good. It’s when we admit that we aren’t good enough by ourselves that we can finally make the best choice of all.”
“What’s that?”
“We can choose to let God cleanse us of our sins by simply asking Him to do it. As soon as we allow that to happen, He makes us good and fits us into His family, joined together by faith. It’s just like how members of the same family have the same blood. The same spirit that would be in you is in everyone else who has ever believed. I believe, so if you decided to do the same then that would make us brothers, in a way. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it does. I guess it’s something to think about.”
Lawson began walking away, so Nathan figured their discussion was over. Once they reached the cabin, Nathan hung his Stetson on the bed post and sat on the lone chair in the cabin to take off his boots. “That was a pretty deep discussion when I don’t even know your last name,” he said teasingly.
Lawson scrubbed his face, neck and arms with water from the pitcher and bowl, then blotted his face on his shirt before he deigned to respond. “My parents moved to Nebrasky Territory when I was little. Ma said it’d be best if I didn’t come because she’d rather see me gone than bleeding from a beating. That’s why, as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a last name.”
It seemed wrong to delve into platitudes after all the things the boy must have been through so Nathan simply said, “Fair enough.”
“What about you? I bet your family was nothing like mine.”
“I came from a loving family, but we had our own problems.”
“What kind of problems?”
Nathan placed his boots by the side of the bed then admitted, “My pa cut me off not long after I left home. I haven’t heard from my family since then.”
Lawson frowned. “Why did he cut you off?”
Nathan shrugged. “We both wanted to run my life. I wouldn’t let him. He got mad when I tried to do it myself.”
“That’s it?” Lawson scoffed. “You let him cut you off from your entire family because of that?”
“I can’t make them take me back. In my family, whatever Pa says, goes. The rest of us have little choice but to go along with him.”
“When was the last time you tried to contact them?”
“I gave up a long time ago.”
“Try again.” Lawson leaned forward in his bed. “They’re your family. You can’t just let them walk away. You have to stop them. You have to get them back.”
“I’ll think about it, all right? Now, it’s time to sleep. It will be an early morning for both of us.” He leaned over and blew out the lantern.
Placing his hands beneath his head, he replayed Lawson’s words in his mind. What was it about families that made them so hard to hold on to? He’d already lost two—the one he’d been born into and the one he’d chosen for himself. His heavy sigh turned into a silent prayer. He asked God to bless them all and maybe, if He thought it best, to let him hold on to at least one.
Chapter Six
Kate gave the pancake batter one more stir as she waited for the stove to warm up. She heard the front door fly open followed by the familiar sound of loud, clomping boots. Ellie appeared in the doorway breathless and grinning. “You have to see this.”
Kate stared at her sister in amusement but shook her head. “I need to fix breakfast. Why don’t you just tell me?”
Ellie’s eyes widened in desperation, then she surged into the kitchen and grabbed Kate’s sleeve. “Believe me, breakfast can wait.”
Kate decided it was probably in her best interest to find out what Ellie was so excited about. Especially since she was out the door and being pulled toward the barn before she could protest. Sean was waiting by the door with a smile on his face. Kate frowned as she stepped inside. “What is going on?”
Ellie pointed toward the stalls. “Look.” She pivoted toward the cows. “Look.” She turned in a circle. “It’s all done.”
“What’s done?”
“The chores,” Sean explained from his spot near the door.
“Every single one,” Ellie said as she stopped spinning and held her hands out to regain her balance.
“Almost every single one,” a deep voice said behind them. Kate turned to find Nathan entering the barn with a large bucket of water in his hand. Lawson followed with another. “We needed more water for the horses.”
“You did everything,” Kate said more for her own benefit than anyone else’s.
Sean chuckled then shot Nathan a smile. “She’s a little slow in the mornings.”
She flashed Sean a glare, then glanced around the barn with new eyes. She noticed the full grain bins, the fresh hay in the stalls, the curried horses, the full pails of milk covered in cheese cloth and she didn’t like it. She didn’t like it one bit. It gave her a strange feeling in the middle of her stomach. It felt like dependency.
Nathan handed the bucket to Lawson, then tilted his head to survey her face carefully. “You don’t look happy.”
Ellie bounced toward them doing a little jig. “I’m really happy. I hate chores. Thank you. Thank you.”
Sean stepped forward. “What do we do now?”
“I guess we eat breakfast,” Kate said, then led them all back into the kitchen. After everyone had a plate of pancakes she filled Sean’s and Ellie’s lunch pails. She set them aside and started pumping water into the sink. Maybe she could get a head start on the dishes. “Kate.”
She was startled to find Nathan standing beside her. The kitchen was noisier than usual so she hadn’t heard him approach. “Did you need something?”
“We’re waiting for you, to start eating. Where’s your plate?”
She glanced over her shoulder to find the children’s plates untouched. They didn’t seem to care because Ellie was retelling a story of some mishap with Mrs. Greene, but Kate caught her breath. “Oh, you didn’t have to do that. They need to eat. I’ll eat—”
“A biscuit later?” he asked.
“How did you know?”
“It took me a while but I caught on.” He sent her a knowing look. “Are you trying to save time or money by not eating breakfast? I guess it’s probably a little of both, right?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t see how my eating habits are any of your business.”
He smiled as though he wasn’t intimidated by her bluster in the least, then he nodded toward the table. “Eat with your family, Kate. Sit down and say grace. Take my plate. I’ll fix myself some more.”
“Fine.” She complied more for the time she’d save from not arguing than anything else. As she slid into the seat he’d vacated she said, “Please, bow your heads for grace.”
Sean frowned at her. “Kate, we never say grace at breakfast.”
She bit her lip but refused to allow her eyes to move guiltily toward Nathan. “I guess we’d better start then.” She bowed her head. “Lord, thank You for providing this meal. We are truly grateful for another day. May this day be blessed as we live it in Your presence. Amen.”
Everyone echoed her amen. The conversation lagged as they began to eat. Nathan slid into the seat across from her with a modest pile of perfectly round, perfectly golden pancakes on his plate. They almost looked better than the ones she’d made. She hid her frown by taking another bite.
Ellie slid closer to quietly say, “Kate, we’re using all the chairs again.”
It took a moment for Kate to realize what her sister meant. When she finally did, her entire being stilled and she glanced around the table. Ellie was right. They were using all the kitchen chairs again—even the two that had been vacant since their parents’ deaths.
She swallowed a lump of pancakes, then glanced at the two men filling the seats. The one to her right could hardly be called a man. He wasn’t much older than Sean but from what she had heard, he was just
as much an orphan as they were. Her heart broke a little each time she saw the cautious world-weary look in his eyes. He hesitantly took a biscuit from the plate in the center of table, then glanced around to see if anyone minded. She caught his gaze and sent him an approving smile. He offered a cautious one in return before returning to his meal.
She glanced past him to the man sitting across from her. He was saying something that made the children laugh so hard they could hardly eat. Kate stared at her plate and had to bite her lip to keep from speaking out. She wanted to remind them that this situation wasn’t going to last forever. They wouldn’t always have someone to do their chores or teach them to lasso or give them rides on a half-wild horse.
Nathan was leaving and it would be best if they remembered that. In the meantime, she hoped he would live up to the hero worship he was receiving. They had already learned the hard way that not everyone could be trusted and villains easily masqueraded as heroes.
Nathan didn’t have to look up from his plate to know Kate was seething. He could literally feel the heat of her glare from across the table. He rubbed the moisture from his forehead as he reminded himself that he was prepared for this and knew exactly what he was going to do about it. He used the last few minutes of breakfast to remind himself of what he needed to say. When Sean and Ellie grabbed their lunch pails and left for school, Nathan caught Lawson’s gaze and cut his eyes toward the door. Lawson gave a short nod then murmured something about needing to do something in the barn before he slipped out.
They were alone. Kate refused to meet his gaze as she gathered the dishes and set them in the sink. He watched her pump the faucet with a bit too much force and realized it was now or never. He winced at the pain that raced across his back as he stood to carry his plate to the sink.
Oddly, the room seemed to sway so he gingerly leaned against the nearby counter. “Kate, I think we need to talk.”
She whirled toward him and lifted her chin in defiance. “So do I.”
“As your hired hand, I’d like to go over my job responsibilities with you. I figured it would be best for me to take over the bulk of the barn chores. I did them all today just to give everyone a nice surprise but I guess you’ll probably want Sean and Ellie to retain some of their responsibilities there.”
He’d managed to regain his equilibrium and he waited with baited breath to see if he’d pulled the right bee from her bonnet. She began to speak then stopped. Her chin lowered just a tad. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want.”
He didn’t dare give the sigh of relief he wanted to, but instead allowed himself a serious nod. “Good. Just let me know what to leave for them.”
“I will,” she said almost reluctantly, then turned to sprinkle soap on the dishes.
“I thought you’d also want me to take on most of the outside chores.” He hid a smile at the suspicious gaze she leveled on him. “I may not know much about wheat but I’m a quick learner. I hope you won’t mind teaching me.”
She bit her lip. “I suppose I won’t.”
“While I’m here, I figure I might as well make repairs to whatever might need fixing. Why don’t you make a list for me with the most important ones first? I’ll take care of those, too.”
She frowned and he sensed she wanted to resist but she gave him a short nod. “I’ll have it ready for you tomorrow.”
He swallowed, knowing that if she was going to balk it would be about this next part. “The Bible says if you don’t work, you don’t eat. I figured Lawson and I are working for our food.”
He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a folded-up envelope. He handed it to her. She looked at it in confusion. “What’s this?”
“That’s for our rent,” he said.
She frowned, then opened the flap of the envelope and looked inside. Her eyes widened. “Nathan, you don’t have to do this. You’re already paying by working for me.”
“You didn’t think I expected to stay here for free, did you?” He placed his hands in his pockets when she tried to give the envelope back. “Count it. Make sure it’s enough for the first month.”
“Nathan, you really don’t have to do this.”
“I already did. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your schedule today? Lawson and I will need to know what you want us to do.”
He waited through the long moment of silence, then watched as Kate slipped the envelope into her apron pocket. “I’ve never had a hired hand before.”
He smiled but tried not to show his relief as she went over the day’s schedule and told him what she needed him to do. Keeping the farm was obviously important to her. All of her hard work was meant to take care of her siblings and preserve her parents’ legacy. He might not have gotten the future he’d hoped for, but maybe he’d be able to help Kate get hers.
The next day, Kate stilled at the sound of someone shouting her name. She slipped the potato seedling into the ground and covered it with soil before shifting on her knees toward the sound. Lawson stood near the edge of the field waving at her. She waved back in confusion for a moment before she realized he wasn’t really waving. He was beckoning her.
She set her garden trowel on the ground and wiped her hands on her apron as she stood and hurried toward him. “What’s wrong?”
Fear etched across his features as he led her into the field. “Something is wrong with Nathan. We were working and he suddenly knelt down and now he can’t seem to get back up. I think he must be sick.”
Kate spotted Nathan a few yard ahead of them. He sat on his knees with one hand braced on the ground in front of him while the other rubbed his forehead. “Nathan.”
He glanced up at her and grimaced. “I told Lawson I’d be fine in a minute. It’s just a headache.”
Lawson placed a hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “Did you throw up like you said you might?”
Kate let out a frustrated breath. “Obviously it isn’t just a headache.” She knelt beside him. She was close enough to notice he was sweating profusely. Narrowing her eyes, she gently moved his hand out the way to feel his forehead. “You’re burning up with fever.”
He groaned. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I was fine earlier, but now I feel too weak to even stand up.”
“We’ll help you,” she said then glanced over Nathan’s bent head to Lawson. “We need to get him into the house. You take one side and I’ll take the other.”
He nodded then slipped his arm around Nathan’s back. She did the same. On the count of three they helped Nathan to his feet. He immediately let out a cry of pain. Her worried eyes lifted to his pain-filled gaze. “Is it your head?”
“No, it’s my back,” he bit out as he walked between them. “Doc said it would heal on its own but it hurts.”
“Wait. What’s supposed to heal on its own? I thought you just had a concussion.”
He grimaced guiltily. “I didn’t tell you. When the horse reared…one of its hooves…hit my back. It cut the skin.”
“Why didn’t Doc tell me?”
“I was supposed to…but I didn’t want to bother you. I thought I was leaving. I tried to clean it on my own.” He swallowed harshly. “If I keep talking I might get sick.”
She glanced at Lawson in time to see the boy’s eyes widen. “Then don’t talk.”
They helped him into the house, then into Sean’s bed. Lawson pulled off Nathan’s shirt while Kate prepared a cool cloth for his head. When she stepped into the room again Nathan was under the covers but his back lay exposed. She took one look at the cut and grimaced before meeting Lawson’s gaze. He frowned. “It’s infected, isn’t it? That’s why he’s sick.”
She nodded then pulled a chair close to the head of Sean’s bed. “I need you to go in to town and bring Doc. If you can’t find him, bring Ms. Lettie.”
“I think I know how to get to town but I don’t know who those people are.”
“Oh,” she breathed. “You know who the sheriff is, right? Ask him to help you. Take one of the horses.”
Kate and Lawson exchanged a confused glance before he hurried out the door. Kate laid the cool cloth over his head. She knew Doc would want to clean the wound so she decided not to mess with it. There was really nothing she could do but wait and try to make Nathan as comfortable as possible. He groaned. “I’m sorry, Kate.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me. Why don’t you just close your eyes and rest until Doc gets here?” She watched as he smiled faintly then closed his eyes. She began to pray.
Nathan strained toward the voices edging in and out of his consciousness. Every so often they called to him but he could never reach them. The heat engulfing his body stood in stark contrast to the streaks of cool relief that intermittently traveled from his brow to his chest or back. He slowly slipped further away from the sweet familiar voices as the whisper of haunted memories filled his mind.
Nathan. Nathan.
Eli, he breathed then spun to face the desperate whisper.
Eli backed away. His were eyes filled with panic. His appearance was disheveled. His hand crept toward his holster. Let me go, Nathan.
You know I can’t do that. Stay, Eli. Stay.
A struggle, then the room exploded in sound. He dropped to Eli’s side but it was too late. Blood spilled on the floor and covered Nathan’s hands. He couldn’t get it off. It spread until it was everywhere. There were traces of it on his arm, streaks of it in his hair. The smell of it sickened him. Get it off, he demanded.
He heard a gasp and the heat increased. Pale faces stared back at him in disbelief, then condemnation. You did this, they whispered. Murderer. Murderer.
“No.” They wouldn’t listen. They were trying to restrain him. They were trying to lock him up. He had to get out. “Let me go. I didn’t. I didn’t do it.”
“I believe you.”
He stilled. He turned toward the voice. It was out of place. He knew this nightmare well. That wasn’t what happened next.
Unlawfully Wedded Bride (Love Inspired Historical) Page 7