“When will that be?” Sean asked.
“Soon,” he promised. “In the meantime—”
Ellie’s eyes widened. “We won’t say a word.”
He grinned. “That wasn’t what I was going to say, but that works, too.”
She grimaced. “I’m sorry I interrupted.”
“I was just going to remind you guys to take care of your horses.” He let Sean and Ellie slip away but asked Lawson to stay for a moment. “How did you like staying with Doc and Ms. Lettie while I was gone?”
Lawson shrugged as his eyes became guarded. “It wasn’t bad.”
“Doc asked about you today.”
“Why?”
“He wanted to know if you might consider settling with him and Ms. Lettie permanently.”
Lawson stared at him as hopeful silence stretched between them like a thick blanket. “They did?”
He grinned. “They sure did.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I told them they’d have to ask you about it,” he said. “That isn’t your only option. You can always stay with me. You know that.”
“You say that now, but what if things don’t work out with Kate? Where will you go then?” he asked.
“Oklahoma. I told you my pa offered me a job there. You would be more than welcome to come.”
“Oklahoma,” Lawson echoed.
“Just think about it.”
Lawson nodded thoughtfully. He began to turn away, then paused to glance back at Nathan seriously. “Either way, I think you should know that we’re brothers now.”
“Thanks, Lawson. I—”
“No, I mean we’re really brothers. I prayed after Kate came home. Now we have the same spirit or Father or whatever you said.”
“Oh. In that case.” Nathan grinned then held out his hand. “Welcome to the family.”
Lawson shook his hand then smiled teasingly. “Thanks. Now if you’ve got half the sense the Lord gave you, you won’t waste any time in getting your own. You fit, remember?”
He nodded. “I hope you’re right.”
Yes, he hoped. He hoped but he had surrendered the situation to God. It was up to Him now. Nathan could only pray His will would be done.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kate let out a quiet sigh. Her blue eyes lifted toward Nathan as she shifted in the rocking chair until she faced him more fully. The rhythmic cadence of his voice had drawn her attention. “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.”
I don’t remember reading that particular verse in Isaiah before, she thought absently. She dragged her gaze from his distractingly handsome features to stare at the arms of the rocker her father had made. Her mother had rocked her here when she was little, shushing her fears while offering love to replace them. She missed their guiding lights even now. Or was it especially now?
She wished she could ask her mother’s advice about Nathan but she knew what the judge told her earlier was true. Her parents would want her to put aside her fears and live as they did. She thought of the way she had been living for the past two and a half years and couldn’t find a starker contrast.
She had been so focused on protecting her heart, on being careful, on being sensible that she’d nearly forgotten everything they’d taught her about how to live. She’d even allowed the thing that least represented who they were—their death—to become a stumbling block between her and God. She wondered how her life would be different if she followed their example. How would she change if she really allowed herself to trust?
Her gaze lifted to trace the room and its inhabitants. A small kerosene lamp battled the dusk creeping in through the windows and touched the golden strands in Ellie’s hair. The girl lay on her stomach close to the settee as she toyed absently with a piece of string. Flick lazed before her, halfheartedly lifting a dainty paw toward the twisting string, prompting a smile on Ellie’s lips.
Lawson slumped in a wooden chair, his arms on the armrests while he stared in thoughtful consideration at the ceiling. Sean leaned against the cool brick of the fireplace with his brow knotted in deep concentration as he faithfully shaved at the chunk of wood in his hands.
More importantly, how would my family be different if I was able to restore some of what we lost when Ma and Pa died? She bit her lip, then glanced down at her rich green skirts. It would take a lot of courage for her to do so. The fears she’d allowed to distract her from God had become familiar and comfortable. She hadn’t had to depend on anyone but herself—not a man and not even God.
Lord, I want to trust You with my heart. Free me from the distrust of You and this fear of the future. I want what You want for me.
She glanced up as the quiet timbre of Nathan’s voice deepened. “I will betroth thee unto me forever.”
He met her gaze. Her breath stilled as he continued, “Yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving kindness, and in mercies.” A smile tugged at his lips as he regarded her. “I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness, and thou shalt know the Lord.”
Their eyes held and Kate could not have looked away if she’d wanted to. The intimacy of the firelight played across his face, blurring the cozy scene surrounding them. Somewhere a snicker sounded. The world was suddenly in focus again. Kate’s gaze flew toward the sound yet snagged as it drifted past Ellie. The girl lay perfectly still. A string dangled precariously from her fingers with her mouth slightly open as her gaze darted between Nathan and Kate.
Lawson was sitting up in his chair and, though his gaze rested on the floor, a smile pulled at his lips. Sean’s green eyes watched them carefully. Feeling her cheeks warm, Kate turned toward Nathan and lifted her chin. “That was from Isaiah?”
He glanced down at the Bible. “Isaiah?”
“Yes, Isaiah forty-three, starting with verse two.” She watched him suspiciously as he scanned the page.
His warm brown eyes met hers. “My mistake.”
“Thank you, Nathan,” Kate said over Ellie’s giggles. “I think that’s all for tonight.”
Ellie sat up abruptly and placed her hands in her lap. “I have a wonderful idea. Why don’t we go watch the stars?”
Kate stared at her sister in confusion. “The stars won’t be out for another thirty minutes. Besides, it’s a school night.”
Sean set his carvings aside. “It won’t take long this time.”
“Yeah, just long enough,” Lawson added with a sly half smile at Nathan.
Her gaze darted from Lawson to Nathan as she asked, “Long enough for what?”
“Long enough to catch a few fireflies before it gets completely dark,” Nathan said as he closed the Bible and set it on the table. He turned toward Kate. “What do you say, Kate?”
“You want to catch fireflies with me?” she asked with a bemused smile. At his nod, she shifted her gaze to the children. Ellie widened her eyes then nodded adamantly. Sean and Lawson seemed to wait with baited breath. Kate finally understood.
“Oh.” She bit her lip to keep from laughing then echoed Ellie’s nod. “That sounds fine.”
The children jumped up and rushed out the door with a few backward glances to make sure Kate and Nathan were following. Nathan held the door open then stepped back for her to precede him. The children dashed toward the corral fence. She and Nathan followed at a more sedate pace.
“I’ve wanted to talk to you all day,” he admitted.
“You have?”
He glanced toward the corral fence and smiled. She followed his gaze to see Ellie waving them on toward the open land. Kate rolled her eyes then muttered, “Really, Ellie?”
Nathan laughed. “I can take a hint. Come on.”
He caught her hand and led her toward the fields. The sun was sinking slowly behind the tree line to the west, leaving the meadow covered in deep blue dusk. A few early fireflies began lighting up around them as Nathan cleared his throat nervously. “Kate, I talke
d to the judge today.”
Kate glanced up at him as anxiety filled her stomach. Surely Judge Hendricks hadn’t told Nathan about their conversation. She braced herself. “What did he tell you?”
“He said he wouldn’t give us an annulment.”
“Oh,” she breathed, then waited for him to continue. He didn’t.
She bit her lip and glanced away. So Judge Hendricks hadn’t betrayed her feelings to Nathan. He’d just closed Nathan’s only way out of their marriage and left her to do the rest. She didn’t know whether to be amused or alarmed.
“Is that all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say?” she asked softly as she lifted her gaze to his.
He tightened his hold on her hand slightly to pull her to a stop. “I want you to tell me the truth. Do you want me to stay or not?”
She glanced down at their joined hands and swallowed. “I want you to stay.”
“Why, Kate? Why do you want me to stay?”
She finally lifted her gaze to his. “I need you.”
He shook his head. “That isn’t enough. Why do you need me? Do you need me to build your barn and milk your cows and keep the bank from foreclosing? If I’ve learned anything about you in the past two months, it’s that you don’t need me for any of that. You can do it all on your own, but it’s the only reason you’ve ever let me stay around. I need to know if you need me for the same reasons I need you.
“I need you because the world is better when I’m with you. I’m better when I’m with you. I need you because I don’t want to imagine my future without you living in it. I need you because I can’t imagine God creating me for anyone else. Is that how you need me, Kate?”
“I—” she began but fear weighed her tongue down. She was tired of questioning. She desperately wanted to trust Nathan with her heart but it wasn’t really about him at all. It was about surrendering to God’s will—the very thing she’d prayed for just minutes earlier. But was she truly ready?
“I love you, Kate. I love you so much that I don’t want to settle for anything else.” He stepped back. “It’s your decision now. I’m going to the cabin and I’m leaving in the morning. There’s only one reason I’ll let you stop me. You know what that is.”
He began to walk away. She watched him in disbelief, then panic set in. That’s when it hit her. This was life outside of His will. This was life figuring things out on her own. She was so paralyzed by fear that she couldn’t stop the man she loved from walking away from her. It had to change and it had to change now—before it was too late.
She glanced up and saw Nathan had made it a good distance across the field. She bit her lip. Pulling in a deep breath, she yelled, “Wait!”
Her voice traveled quickly across the quiet field. Nathan slowly turned to face her. He didn’t move toward her so she ended up picking her way toward him through the high grass of the meadow, dispelling fireflies in her wake.
“You can’t just tell a woman you love her then in the next sentence tell her you’re leaving. It doesn’t work that way,” she said.
He stared at her in disbelief. “Do you have any idea how long you were silent after I said all of that?”
She stopped in front of him and lifted her chin. “I was thinking. Besides, it wasn’t that long. You’re exaggerating.”
“I don’t know, Kate. It felt like a pretty long time,” he said then stared down at her cautiously. “Why’d you stop me?”
“Why do you think?”
He caught her arm and guided her across the distance that separated them until only a few inches remained between them. “You mean—”
“I mean I need you for the same reasons you need me. I love you, Nathan Rutledge. Completely, irrepressibly, desperately,” she said then smiled ruefully. “Lord knows I tried to fight it, but the funny thing is I don’t think I was ever supposed to. You came into my life and helped God change it completely. I’m so grateful for that and for you.”
A slow grin spread across his lips. “I wondered how long it would take you to figure that out. I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to leave tomorrow. I’m not even packed.”
“Well, you’re staying so don’t even think about it.”
“In that case,” he said, stepping back and kneeling on one knee, he reached into his pocket to pull out the wedding ring Ellie had been so curious about months earlier. “Kate O’Brien, will you marry me?”
She responded with one word. “Rutledge.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry, what?”
“My name is Kate O’Brien Rutledge.”
He grinned then asked, “And what, Kate O’Brien Rutledge, is your answer?”
“My answer is yes.” She smiled. “I would love to marry you.”
He slid the ring onto her finger, then stood and took a slow step that erased most of the distance between them. She caught her breath as his arm slid slowly into place around her waist. The corners of her mouth lifted into a gentle smile as she watched those dangerous gold flecks in his eyes warm to lustrous amber. She closed her eyes as his thumb trailed softly over her lips and he lifted her chin.
Her lashes flew open at the last moment. “What about the children?”
“I don’t think they’ll mind,” he murmured. Then softly, stirringly, sweetly his lips captured hers.
Epilogue
Kate sat patiently in a wooden chair in a small room in Peppin’s church as Rachel and Ms. Lettie made a few last touches to her hair and endeavored to attach a veil to their wondrous creation. Ellie let out a less-than-patient sigh where she stared up at Kate from a nearby footstool with uneven legs.
The girl was so full of nervous energy that she rocked the footstool side to side at a nearly feverish pitch. After a moment of watching Ellie’s ribbons quiver to and fro, Kate barely stopped herself from shaking her head and upsetting her curls. “Ellie, you’re going to fall over if—”
She was scared speechless as the footstool tilted too far to one side sending Ellie perilously toward the floor. At the last moment Ellie shifted in the other direction to regain her balance and set the leg of the footstool down with a loud thump.
Ellie seemed to stop breathing for a second, then her wide green eyes lifted to Kate’s. They stared at each other. Kate bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. “Why don’t you fetch Sean? It’s nearly time to get started.”
“Right.” Ellie nodded and eagerly bounded from the room closing the door behind her a bit too loudly given the church service was going on just down the hall.
“Finished!” Rachel exclaimed. “Come, see yourself in the mirror.”
Kate carefully stood and turned toward the mirror. Ms. Lettie smiled, then handed her a bouquet of wild-flowers in a riot of different colors before stepping aside. Kate caught her breath at her reflection in the mirror.
Her hair was pulled back into an elaborate chignon but it was the dress that made her eyes fill with tears. The wedding gown was trimmed with the Irish lace Ellie had mentioned in her letter to Nathan, given to Kate by her mother, and had been altered only slightly to bring it into style. It had also been tailored to fit Kate’s figure perfectly. She shook her head in wonder. “I look…”
“Beautiful?” Rachel questioned.
“Enchanting,” Ms. Lettie stated.
Kate laughed. “I was going to say, I look like a bride.”
Rachel grinned. “An enchantingly beautiful bride.”
She turned to hug each of them. “I can’t thank you two enough for everything you’ve done to help me plan this in just two weeks.”
Ms. Lettie hugged her in return. “I believe you just did.”
A rap on the door sounded. Butterflies began to flutter in Kate’s stomach. She pulled in a deep breath. “That must be Sean.”
“We’ll make sure everyone is ready.” Rachel picked up her smaller bouquet of flowers, then opened the door for Sean to enter before she and Ms. Lettie stepped out.
Sean caugh
t sight of her and his expression shifted to one of awe. “Wow.”
She laughed. “Thank you.”
“You look wonderful, Kate.” He swallowed. “So much like Ma.”
She reached out her arms to her younger brother who always seemed mature beyond his years. His gangly arms pulled her into a tight hug. She sighed. “I miss them, especially today.”
“I wish they were here. Pa would know just what to say at a time like this. Even so, I’ll try my best to say what he’d want me to.” He stepped back to clear his throat and met her gaze seriously. “I couldn’t be prouder to have a sister like you. You kept us together when everything around us was falling apart. I am so grateful for that, and even more grateful that now you’ve found a love like Ma and Pa had. I know they are happy for you, too.”
A smile blossomed across her face even as tears slipped from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. “Oh, Sean, I couldn’t have been more blessed than to have you for my brother. Thank you for stepping up in Pa’s stead and giving me away.”
He presented her with his arm. “We’d better hurry up if you still want me to do that.”
“Of course,” she said. Slipping her arm through his, she let him lead her out the door to the where Ellie and Rachel stood waiting.
“Doc and Ms. Lettie already took the seats on the front row you designated for them next to Judge Hendricks,” Rachel said.
She had asked them to sit in the front row to honor everything they’d done for her family both before and after her parents’ deaths. “Good.”
Rachel grinned at Sean. “Don’t you look handsome?”
“Thanks,” he said with a wry grin. “It isn’t the most comfortable getup, but I guess it’s all right.”
Kate chuckled, then after receiving a curious look from the rest of the party she explained, “I just realized something. After me, Sean will probably be the next one in our family to get married.”
The look on his face was a mix of confusion and horror that slowly faded into resignation. “I guess you’re right.”
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