by Leah Holt
Ivy had seen the worst side of human nature. The greed, the darkness, the single desire one compulsion could drive.
And after all she had been through, she was still able to smile, she was still able to let someone else in. That said a lot about who she was. It drove my need to keep her smiling, to keep her happy, to give her the life she deserved.
But that meant she had to listen to me. Her safety came first before anything else.
“You have to promise me you'll stay here. I know you wanted to help, but not now. There's no way we can risk it.”
“I know.” Her face pressed against my cheek as she leaned into my chest.
“I love you too much to put you in danger.” Rubbing my thumb across her chin, I tilted her face up. “You're mine, this baby is mine. . .” Staring into her eyes, I let my lips brush hers. “And I'd do anything for you.”
Her breath was warm as it polished my cheek. Her lips soft and dewy as she licked them slowly. “I love you.”
My fingers found her neck, caressing her throat. There was something about her skin, her face, her scent that changed. Knowing she was carrying my child flooded my senses with a raw desire. It was primal, the urge to reclaim her body and feel the woman she had become surged through my chest like the fresh spark of a new fire.
I kissed her softly, licking her lips and tasting this new, sweet version of my woman. Our tongues slipped around each other, eager and feverish. Her skin was hot, turning from pink to red as I laid her down on her back.
My hands kept moving, squeezing her tits, pinching her nipples. The hardened beads thickened, goosebumps flurried over her body as her back arched and her mouth sang the notes to my heart.
My chest was heaving, contracting and working so hard to keep the air flowing in. I couldn't explain in words the feelings that were running through me right then.
I was in love. I was forever connected to this woman by more then just words.
Ivy was my strength, she was the blood that ran through my veins, and the oxygen that kept me alive.
She was my everything.
My fingertips trickled over her stomach, gently cupping where our baby was. “I love you so much.” Whispering to Ivy, I kept my eyes on her belly.
I felt her nails spear through my hair, gripping the roots and holding on tight. “I love you too.” Our eyes connected, hers sparkling like the crisp burst of fireworks.
Sliding her pants over her thighs, I kissed every inch of her skin as it broke free. The sweet musk of her wet pussy sent my cock into a frenzy. I needed her, I had to feel her.
I never thought the idea of a woman carrying my child could be as erotic as it was. I felt feral, lost in her scent, lost in her eyes and body. My dick was rock solid, swelling and aching to be inside her.
Ivy's thighs opened wide, her hands tugging and coiling into my hair. Gripping her thighs, I planted light kisses up the tender skin. I didn't notice her scars anymore, they had disappeared completely. They became invisible to my eyes.
Because Ivy didn't belong to anyone but me.
Pulling my cock out, I teased her soaked entrance, sliding the tip up and down over her clit. Her moan was drawn out, highlighted in need.
Ivy's body lurched up, her back bending as her head rolled to the side. “Take me, Dante, take me and show me I'm yours.” Biting her lower lip, her lashes fluttered.
“You are mine and nothing will ever change that.” My hands gripped her possessively as I let the unhinged beats of my heart parade through my chest. “You are always going to be mine.” I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman, I couldn't imagine myself without her. I didn't want to.
Holding her hips, I snapped my waist forward, splitting her wide open. My cock disappeared inside her, her pussy instantly clenching around my length. My angel in the flesh glowed, her skin flushed, chest lifting rapidly.
Thrusting in and out, I kept my pace steady. Our bodies moved together, her pussy milking my cock with each pump. She was so wet, dripping in silk and melting in gold.
I felt her legs start to shake, thighs folding up and clasping around my waist. She was close, so close to going over the edge. Faster and faster I threw my cock inside her, my balls tightened, tingles igniting in my lower belly.
Her muscles tensed up as she dug her nails into my back and screamed. Her hot pussy convulsed, pulsing and tightening around my cock. I felt the release as it happened, my dick throbbed, shooting my juice deep inside her. We had already created life, but right then. . .
We created forever.
Scooping her into my arms, I pulled her up and into my chest, whispering the last promise I was ever going to make her. “I promise I'm going to end this, I just have to figure out how.”
Her fingers ran long strokes up and down my back. Lifting her face off my chest, Ivy said, “You know how.”
“I wish I could be as sure as you, but I don't. I don't have anyone on my side.”
“Yes you do.”
“You don't count anymore.” Cupping her belly, I smiled. “Remember?”
“I'm not talking about me.” Ivy's brows arched high, her face still and steady.
Who is she—
No, not him.
She can't be thinking him.
“What are you getting at?” I asked, dipping my head and holding her eyes on mine.
“You won't like my suggestion.” Letting go of my waist, she picked nervously at her thumbs. “But I think you should consider it.”
Don't. Don't say it.
The look on her face told me where she was going with this. I didn't want to hear it, I didn't even want to consider it.
Swallowing hard, I watched the lump go down her throat. “Ask Sesto to help us.”
The air around me became soiled, just the idea made me sick. I felt like I was standing on the bow of a boat and the sea was churning my stomach upside down. I wanted to throw up. The feeling was sitting there in the back of my throat, coating my tongue in the most vile burn.
I didn't want to ask him for help, I didn't want to ask him for a fucking thing.
“Ivy, I can't, you know I can't.”
“Well what about your other guys? Did you talk to any of them?”
Shit, how the fuck do I tell her.
I didn't want to tell her that all of my guys were working for the enemy. They had betrayed my family, I had no one left.
But Sesto wasn't an option, no fucking way.
“No.” Shaking my head, I couldn't look at her.
“No, what? No you didn't talk to them or no they won't help you?” Ivy tried to move, lining her face up with mine. She knew I wasn't telling her everything, there was no point in lying.
“They won't help, they can't.” Puffing my bottom lip up, I shrugged a shoulder.
“Why not? What's stopping them from doing this after all the other shit they've done for you and your family?”
“Ivy, I didn't want to tell you this, but all my guys work for Remo now. Vince said they had no place else to go, that they needed the cash.”
“Vince said— So just because Vince said, that means that's it?” Her back jerked, spine straightening firm. “That's not good enough, how could he do that to you? Fuck that guy, Dante.”
Holding up my hand, I stopped her from talking. “It doesn't matter, I'll figure it out, I always do. But Vince isn't an option, Sesto isn't an option, none of them are.”
“I don't think we have a choice, Dante. I understand you're not going to let me help, and I'm okay with that.” Looking down at her stomach, she gently caressed just below her belly button. “But you need someone you can trust—” Before I could interject, she kept going. “And I think you can trust Sesto more than you might believe. I feel it in my gut and my gut's never wrong.”
I wished she was right. But how could I trust him?
He rolled, he gave up so much information that my father was next in line to be indited. The cops had started to tap his phone and tail him like a bad habit. My f
ather literally had to drive for miles just to get them off his ass.
And I knew I wouldn't be far behind him. But the cops wouldn't be able to pin shit on me no matter how deep they tried to dig. I kept my slate clean, nothing would come back to me regardless of what they thought.
I was the black shadow that followed you, there at every turn, unable to shake off.
But when the sun went down, I was gone. It was like I was never there.
Holding up my hand, I asked, “Does he know about this?”
Ivy was so firm in her belief that Sesto wasn't who I thought, that he could be trusted. Was there something she knew that she hadn't told me?
How long was he here talking with her?
What did they talk about?
I didn't know why it bothered me that he might know about her pregnancy. Sesto wasn't after me, he would never come to get revenge. Even though I didn't trust him for shit, I also knew that he wasn't a threat to me.
And he wouldn't be a threat to Ivy or our baby.
Biting her lip, her eyes grew large. “He bought me the test, so he knows there's a chance, but I didn't take them while he was here. So no, he doesn't know it came back positive.” Her fingers worked up my wrist, gently stroking my forearm. “Just try to remember he's still your brother.”
“I wish it was that easy.” Placing my hand on her stomach, I felt the smile hit my lips before I even had time to register it. “You're having our baby, I'm going to be a father.”
Her eyes slit, igniting in joy. “We're going to be a family, Dante.”
The word 'family' struck a nerve.
What kind of family can I give this baby?
I don't know if I can do this anymore.
“What's wrong, Dante?” Ivy leaned in, resting her palm on my cheek. “You're thinking, I know that look.”
“I don't know if I can do this.”
“It's a little late for that now, don't you think? I'm pregnant, there's no taking it back.”
My lips pulled in as I let out a tender laugh. “No, not that, it's not the baby part.” My eyes drifted around her face, just taking her in. She was the most precious and beautiful person I had ever met. Her eyes held strength, her mind was power.
The light freckles that spotted the skin under her eyes made me want to taste each and every one. Her lashes were so long they fanned the entire length of her lid like a canopy. She was my angel.
Just knowing that my name brought danger, that it held a tag that would never go away; I felt sorry because it wasn't something that would just disappear.
“This life, everything that comes with who I am. I'm a Pisani, that's going to follow our child for their entire life. I don't want my past or my name to brand you or our baby, that wouldn't be fair.”
“Dante, nothing is forever. There's room to change, there's time to do things differently. Just because this part of your life isn't what you want anymore, doesn't mean the rest has to be the same. We have time to figure out the future, the past is just a lesson.”
I wanted to believe her, I wanted to agree and tell her she was right. But we had come for the worst reason. We had come back to kill.
There was always the risk that this could come back to haunt me. I could end up dead, I could end up in prison for the rest of my life.
The question I found myself asking; Is it worth it?
Did I want to risk my life and never get the chance to be there for my baby?
Did I want my child growing up without their father?
I knew what it was like to grow up without my mother, that wasn't a pain I would wish on anyone. And I had been lucky enough to have had seven amazing years with her.
My baby might not be so lucky.
“Ivy, I don't want this child to grow up without me.”
“It won't.”
Taking in a heavy breath, my jaw crooked to the side. “You know as well as I do that nothing is certain. We both know that if we stay and go through with this, there's a chance I won't make it home.”
Ivy's eyes flashed, her lids came down hard as she took in my words. Watching her, reading her, I didn't think she had really let the idea of death sink in. She had said it before, she had worried about it before, but that was when she kept herself from actually feeling the word.
Now she was completely open, no walls, no artillery, no way to shake it off. She was different, she had changed with me. We had a bond that went beyond what we had been through.
Together we found new life.
“What do you want to do, Dante? We can't run anymore, this needs to end. Our child deserves to live a normal life.”
“I know.”
“So ask for help, let your brother help you.”
“Ivy—”
“Just talk to him, Dante.”
Talk to Sesto? I had done nothing but rub dirt all over his name. I wrote him off the day he got busted.
Where the fuck do I begin?
Thirteen
Ivy
I was alone. Again.
But this time it didn't bother me. Dante said he would think about talking to Sesto; Hopefully he decides to go through with it. What choice did we have?
Remo had done a great job of tearing the rug out from beneath Dante. First, he killed his father, then he sweet talked Dante's guys into becoming his minions. Everything he was doing was simply to get under Dante's skin.
And it was working.
Sesto was the only one who might be able to give us a fucking shot at having our lives back. Dante had to get over the whole fucking rat issue. I knew that we had grown up worlds apart, but this wasn't a fucking joke. We needed all the help we could get.
Why should Dante even give a shit at this point about what Sesto may or may not have said? He wasn't in that room, he didn't sit in the courtroom when the judge handed out his sentence.
And now, everything they had was gone anyway.
He wanted to talk about trust and loyalty; Dante had to take a good look at himself. He wasn't exactly the golden child, he had done something just as bad. . . Maybe even worse.
Dante had turned from obedient soldier to vigilante. He had deliberately disobeyed his father's orders and went against the grain, but he wanted to point fingers at Sesto.
Mirrored choices with a one way view.
He couldn't see the similarities between them, he refused to.
In my eyes, none of that was worth it. Family was family. Period.
My father had let a monster take me away, but I was able to find it in my heart to forgive him. Why?
Because there was absolutely no way he would have done that unless his hands were tied. I knew that, I knew my father. He wasn't a callous asshole who wanted to abandon his responsibilities and wash his hands of me.
Dante thought it was for the money, he was certain that money was the root of all evil. And no matter what the object was, money could buy anything. . .
Even me.
He was wrong.
When all of the shit we were living in was over, I was going to prove it to him. I loved my father, nothing would change that. He was a good man.
And that's exactly what I was going to raise our child to believe. People make mistakes and that's alright. No one is perfect.
Sometimes life isn't fair, sometimes choices are taken away from you, and you have to do what's best in the moment; Even if your decision could ruin someone you love.
My father made a choice, and I knew he had done it for a good reason. I had to believe that his choice was to help others, that some good had come from my hardship and pain.
Remo must have held a gun to his head. My gut was telling me I was right, I just didn't have the answer as to why.
Where did Remo fit into the puzzle, what had my father taken to owe him my virginity?
I might never get the real answer and I might have to live with that. Either way, my dad would always have my love.
Because if you don't have your family, then who do you have?
&nb
sp; No one.
Skipping down the stairs, a smile was firmly gripping my lips. There was a different dance in my step today, a new found joy that hadn't been there in ages. I was happy.
The life growing inside me made me feel warm and excited for the future. I wondered if it would be a boy or a girl, if they would have my color hair or Dante's.
What will it feel like to be a mother?
There was so much to be curious about, that I lost myself in my thoughts. So being alone wasn't an issue right then. I kept touching my stomach like I was going to feel something. As if tiny feet were going to miraculously start thumping against my skin.
I knew it didn't work that way, I couldn't have been more then a month along, but it was exciting to think about that moment.
Would it scare me?
Would I be nervous the first time I was actually able to feel the tiny life inside me?
I remembered when my mom was pregnant with my little sister, she used to say it felt like real live butterflies in her belly. She would tell me that the baby's toes were tickling her insides.
Taking my hand, she had pressed it against her giant tummy, and a huge smile spread across her face as Rachel's foot popped up.
The first time I felt it, I screamed and ran to my room, hiding under my blankets and crying. My mother came up and cradled me in her arms, telling me stories of what it was like when she had me in her stomach.
I miss her.
I miss my family.
There was nothing more I wished for right then than sharing this with them. I wanted to call them and tell them they were going to be grandparents, I wanted to tell my sister she was going to be an aunt.
I can't, not yet.
It was too dangerous for me to do that. Remo had threatened their lives so many times, it was burned into my brain. As long as they didn't know where I was, I had to convince myself they'd be safe.
Sadness swept in, washing me in tears. I hadn't allowed myself to cry for them in so long that it hit me with such force I almost collapsed. Reaching out for the back of the chair, I held it tight.
When this is all done, I'm going home. We're going home.
I need them.
Lowering myself into the chair, I rested my forehead in my hands and just sobbed. I couldn't stop the tears from coming. My chest was struggling to catch its rhythm, my muscles ached from head to toe.