“You have got to be kidding me? You can feel what I'm feeling?” I turned my head to look at those impossibly blue eyes.
His lips quirked slightly at the edges, his eyes sparkling in the low light of the room. “A perk of the joining it would seem.”
Oh shit. So, I wouldn't be able to hide a thing from him, well not at least what I was feeling. “You can't read my mind too, can you?”
He sobered at the sound of my voice. “No. But I don't need to, your emotions are so expressive, so vibrant, full of life. It is like a drug to me that I could never hope of quitting.” He seemed pretty pleased with this turn of events. I was mortified.
I pushed his arm and the covers away, reaching down to the bag beside the bed to find some new underwear and slipping into them quickly before he could protest. He didn't stop me, he just watched, lying back on the bed like a well fed cat, basking in the afternoon sun. I guess he was probably feeling pretty full right now. Full of my power. Full of my blood. And full of my emotions.
“Why are you so angry?”
I clenched my fists then forced myself to relax again. Shaking my head from side to side. Well, if he really wanted to know...
“Could it be that you hid from me the extent of power you would get in this joining? Or wait, maybe it's the fact that you bit me, without even warning me that could happen? Or, perhaps, I'm a little miffed that we just had sex, when I thought I had made it perfectly clear that that was off the menu? You pick, Michel, but if you give me enough time I'm sure I can think of more.”
I snatched my jeans up off the floor and started pulling them on, my foot getting caught sideways down one leg, forcing me to hop around while I tried to dislodge it. Bugger. Couldn't even be ladylike when throwing a hissy fit.
His arm reached out to steady me before I threatened to topple over completely, visions of when he first entered the room washing over my mind and sending sparks along my skin. Of course, I hadn't even seen him get up off the bed. He turned me towards him, but I continued to do doggedly try to do my jeans up, the bloody zip catching and sticking. He gently reached down and took over, closing the zip with a soft zzzt, buttoning the top closed, but leaving the fingers of one hand resting over the upper edge, just inside, holding me still by that simple contact. His other hand reached up and stroked my bed tousled hair out of my eyes.
“I told you once before, ma douce. Your anger is my aphrodisiac.”
He didn't try to kiss me, his lips curling in that sly grin, then stretching further into a beautiful smile that lit up his entire face. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't look away.
“Stop it,” I whispered.
“Never,” he replied and grinned further.
We just stood there looking at each other, me hardly breathing, heart stammering along, him calm and implacable, but warm and open.
“I can't go on like this, Michel. I'm going to need some space, time to think about all of this.”
“What is there to think about, my dear? We are meant to be together, why do you fight it so?”
“You've practically taken over my life! I'm no longer Lucinda Monk. Bank teller and vampire hunter. I'm now Lucinda Monk immortal Nosferatin, joined to a kindred master vampire and about to come in to an enormous amount of power. And, unable to keep my bloody hands off you.” He smiled further at that. “I need some space to get my head around all of this. I need to go back to my apartment.”
He stepped back then. “Of course. I shall have Bruno drive you.”
“Thanks,” I said, a little unsure why he was agreeing so quickly.
“Um, what's happening with Max? When are we going to face him?” I may have wanted out of there, to be surrounded by only myself, but I hadn't forgotten what this joining had all been for. Max was always in the back of mind, sad but true.
He didn't smile, he just wore that mask he puts on when dealing with his vampire protégé; unfeeling, unmoving, un-anything.
“We are not going anywhere. I am.”
My stomach dropped. “Like bloody hell!”
Chapter 20
Trapped
“I will not be moved on this, Lucinda.” Great. We'd made it to Lucinda already. “You would be in great danger from Maximilian and I will not have it.”
“You don't get to decide everything, Michel.”
“Oh? Why would you think that? We are joined and you are still an immature Nosferatin, yet you believe you can go up against a master vampire who has joined to a Nosferatin himself. A master vampire that will be more powerful than any you have faced before. You cannot imagine the power he will wield against you. Clearly your abilities to judge the situation are lacking and therefore, I must do it for you. You are not invincible, Lucinda and I will not have you harmed.”
I was not sure if that last sentence had been tagged on there just because he was getting a doozy of emotional anger rolling off me right then, I really wasn't convinced that he was that concerned for my safety. Sure I get killed he dies, but it's not the same as wanting someone's well-being because you care, is it?
Right now, I really wasn't even sure if he cared.
“How do you think you can stop me, Michel?” Huh! I had him there.
“My powers may have little effect on you, my dear, but Bruno's would. He will contain you until this is over.” Oops. Forgot about that.
“This isn't right, Michel. I am a vampire hunter, I am capable of doing this, you need to have some more faith in me.” My voice had sort of trailed of at the end there. I hadn't meant it to, it was just, well, I was kind of feeling a bit rejected and doubtful really. Rejected by Michel, whom I admit I did seek approval from - sucker that I am - and doubtful of my own abilities. If Michel said I couldn't handle it, was he right?
He just stood there, an odd look on his face, rigid in his body but such conflict in his eyes, like he was battling something inside. He shook his head and let a long breath out. His features softened a bit then and he ran a hand through his hair. “I am not used to all this emotion. How can you live with this? It should consume you, rule you, yet you go from one emotion to the other without pause. I had forgotten how turbulent being a human could truly be.”
I didn't know what to say to that. Serves you right seemed a tad babyish, so I just looked at him. If he was having trouble receiving all my emotions then he should try living in my skin. On second thoughts, maybe not.
He sat back down on the bed then, looking a little defeated. My hopes rose, maybe he would meet me half way on this one. If we were going to work side by side for near eternity then we had to start trusting each other, right?
Unfortunately I'm not as good at reading him, as he is at reading me.
“I am sorry that you cannot understand that this is for the best.”
Not I'm sorry for being a jackass, or I'm sorry for not believing in you, or I'm sorry I'm hurting your feelings and making you feel inferior and a child. No. That would mean he was something remotely like a human and Michel was definitely not. My life was spiralling out of control, I could hear the gurgle of it spinning down the plughole out of sight. If I didn't do something to stop this, I was going to lose complete command and Michel would be my master. I couldn't allow that to happen. I could not allow myself to be anyone's property. Hell, I'm a 21 Century woman, damn it. This is not the middle ages!
I just glared at him and shook my head sadly. I knew he could contain me, Bruno would hold me with just his little finger and without staking him, which I reluctantly realised I didn't really want to do, there would be no way to get away from him. But, I could go along with this and then use my new vision shifting abilities to join the party, couldn't I? Somehow I was sure that I could shift to wherever Michel was, regardless of the distance between us. But, I didn't think it would be good to let Michel know how agreeable I was to this situation. He would know that I was hiding something and probably create an even harder cage for me to break from.
“I'm not happy, Michel.”
“Oh,
that, I can tell, my dear” Good, if I could just hold onto that emotion, it's all he'd see.
“I don't think I can be near you right now,” I continued. “I want to go home.”
He really did look a little hurt at that briefly and then it was gone, replaced again by that mask; that horrible, stiff, controlled and unfeeling mask.
He stood and headed towards the dressing room, turning his back to me and throwing a final comment over his shoulder. “Bruno is ready for you outside.” He shut the door to the dresser with a very final and resounding click. It sounded a little bit like the crack that had just split my pounding heart in two.
Nothing had changed in my apartment. Everything looked exactly as I had left it. The early morning light was starting to seep in through the windows. The sun would be well and truly up soon. I crossed the lounge to stand before the bouquet of roses on my table, unshed tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I grabbed the offending flowers and tossed them in the bin, then sat down and suppressed a shudder at what Michel's residual Sanguis Vitam signature was doing to my pulse. Damn him! Damn him for being what he was and damn me for wanting him despite it.
I'd been up all night but I wasn't tired, on the contrary, my roller coaster of emotions had just keyed me up, there was no way I could get any sleep now. I glanced up at the calendar on the wall of my kitchen and noticed that Rick should be at the gym early this morning. I'd long ago taken to keeping a copy of his roster, his hours were so chaotic I never knew when I could catch up with him.
Suddenly, I really needed to see my friend.
Despite his reaction to me just before the battle, I didn't even consider the fact that he wouldn't want to see me as much as I wanted to see him. We were mates, buds, the best of friends and had been from the first day we met. I needed to hear his voice, to have him joke with me, to make me feel like everything that had happened in the past 24 hours was just a bad dream. I needed the gravity Rick brought to my world, he made me feel stable, he steadied the spin when it threatened to suck me away.
I took a quick shower and dressed in my usual Gym garb; ¾ length yoga pants and a tight fitting tee, stuffed my bag full of all the necessary paraphernalia; stake, knife, change of clothes etcetera - everything a modern day girl should need - and headed out the door. The six minute jog to the Gym was a nice warmup, people were already at the weights and running on the treadmills. The usual pre-work workout. Live in a city and exercise in a box. These guys wouldn't even know what it felt like to race though a paddock chasing little lambs, with the wind in your hair and the quiet of the country calming your mind.
Rick was punching a bag on his own, no client or class it would seem, just working out his muscles and loosening up for the day. He didn't hear me approach, I think my stealth abilities had improved lately, another vampire hunting bonus.
“Hey.” I didn't say it loud but he practically jumped right out of his skin. I smiled widely.
“Jeez, Luce! You damn near gave me a heart attack. Don't do that!” And then he stilled. He just looked at me, with this unusual expression on his face, like he was seeing me for the first time and he wasn't sure if he liked the view.
“What's wrong?”
“You look different. Like you have a glow or something. It's strange.”
I tried to smile, but it sort of came out as a bit of a grimace. “Maybe it's something I ate?” I joked, but it didn't feel that funny.
He wasn't saying anything, so before it got too uncomfortable, I decided to ask the one question that had plagued me since I woke up from my sleep, or whatever it was.
“How's the Hapū? How's Celeste?” OK, so that was two, but you get the picture.
I had heard Celeste had survived, she'd been badly hurt, but had managed to escape any further harm once I'd left her. Michel had kept tabs on the Hapū while I was out of it and had also let them know where I was and what was happening. I had found that a little unexpected, I hadn't thought he'd have it in him, but I later found out Jerome had phoned twice daily for three days before Michel finally caved in.
Rick relaxed a little then, as though we were back on familiar territory. “She's doing great, she got up out of bed yesterday and spent the day out on the deck reading. She's tough, she's gonna be all right. It's Joe we're worried about. He misses Rocky.”
Rocky, dear sweet, funny Rocky. I'd missed the Tangi, that was probably a good thing, I'm not sure I would have been welcome. The Hapū must be hurting right now, I made a promise to myself to go and see Jerome when this was all over, give him my condolences and thank him for his help. A phone call just wouldn't cut it.
“I'm so sorry, Rick. This is all my fault.”
“Don't say that, Luce! It is Not. Your. Fault. Got it? We were proud to be fighting. You have no idea, it felt so right, like we had been denying ourselves this for so long. We are meant to fight alongside you and kill the vampires.”
I was a little concerned at the vehemence in his voice just then, as though this was a pledge, not only to me, but to himself, to kill as many vampires as he could. Great. Just what I needed.
Just then his 7:30 appointment walked in, so he had to leave me. I spent the next hour punching my frustration out on a bag, kicking and hitting and throwing my full weight into it. It felt fantastic. I noticed Rick glancing over every now and then, but he was pretty busy with his novice, trying to control the loose kicks and fly-away punches. When I felt I'd had about enough, I stripped my gloves off and went and had a shower in the female locker room.
When I came out Rick's client had disappeared and he was tidying up the area, as though filling in time for me to come back. I took a deep breath, not sure what he was about to say. It was weird walking on eggshells around Rick, I wasn't used to this.
“Have you had brekkie? Wanna grab something at the café?” he asked, all bright eyes and familiar cheery face.
And just like that, I had my best friend back. I shouldn't have doubted him at all.
Coffee, that wonderful elixir, that giver of verve. Not everyone can make a decent coffee, but thankfully, the café at Tony's Gym has a philosophy. You're not going to want to come back for their healthy low-fat you're-eating-in-a-gym food, but you bloody well will for the coffee. It was bliss. I savoured every mouthful, letting it roll around my tongue like a lover.
“So,” Rick said with a mouthful of blueberry non-fat low-sugar muffin. “What's with the glow?”
I glanced down at my hands. I couldn't see any glow. “What are you talking about?”
“You're glowing, Luce, even just sitting here, it's a pale violet hue all around you, but when you were kick-boxing before, it was an intense purple shimmer. Awesome, but freaky.”
I cringed at the freaky comment, not my favourite word in the world. But, I also hadn't missed the colour choice of my glow. Purple huh? Now, I wonder why that would be? Bloody Michel, now he was making me glow.
“Do you think anyone else can see it?” I suddenly thought. Panicked that I wouldn't be able to return to work at the bank and a semi-normal life when my unscheduled leave expired.
“Nah. You've always kinda shined to the Taniwhas, I guess it's just the way we recognise you. But now, you glow. Kinda cool.”
Yeah, if you want to walk around with a supernatural neon sign above your head announcing you're joined to a master vampire. Moment of truth time. Rick is my best friend after all.
“Max-has-found-a-Nosferatin-and-is-joining-with-him-tonight-so-I had-to-join-with-Michel-or-he-wouldn't-be-strong-enough-to-fight-him.” It came out as one big non-stop word, all jumbled together and tripping over itself.
“Wh... why, what? Hang on a minute. You joined with Michel?” Figures he'd pick up on that little bit and gloss over the mega-master vampire doubling his powers and about to take over the world.
I took a deep breath. “You know I would have had to anyway. I really didn't have a choice.” My little internal monologue chose that moment to pipe up and tell me but you weren't entirely opposed to the id
ea either, were you? Shut it, I said back.
Rick's brow was furrowed and he was biting his lip in deep concentration. I held my breath again, I'd never before questioned his friendship as often as I was now finding myself doing, but right now, I couldn't tell how he felt about all of this and whether he would just cast me aside as something for the too hard pile.
“Well, that's a bugger, isn't it?” I let the breath I was holding out. “Somehow, I just thought we'd find a way out of it, you know, there'd be time. I never really thought you'd have to go through with it. I mean, he's a vampire, Luce, he's one of the bad guys and now you're tied to him for life.”
“At least he's not as bad as some of them, Rick, he does have some good in him.”
“If you think that, you've gone soft. They make you believe that, they trick you into being on their side, but they are nothing but evil, Luce, they feed off your vulnerability and they take advantage of your trust. I have yet to meet a vampire who is good.”
I sighed, maybe this was a battle I couldn't win today. Part of me acknowledged that I had changed. I used to think that all vampires were bad too, some more than others, but all of them capable of treachery. And, it's not as though I don't know that Michel is capable of that too, hell, he's just proved it again this morning, but, I see good there too. I see it and I want to draw it out, I just can't help it. Maybe I've just got to accept that on this, Rick and I are not on the same page, hell, maybe we're not even reading the same book any more.
I suddenly felt quite tired and the thought of curling up in my bed was very welcoming. It had been a long night and also an emotional morning. I hugged Rick goodbye and slowly walked home, no energy to run, just dragged my feet and took my time, listening to the deafening sound of morning rush hour traffic, honking horns, voices raised and the general hub-bub of the city waking up and coming alive. The vampires missed all of this, all this activity, teaming with life. No wonder they were called the undead.
Kindred (Kindred, Book 1) Page 21