by Tammy Lynn
Chapter Eleven
Within the next two weeks Kitten and EJ fell into a comfortable pattern. EJ worked on rebuilding as much as he could, repainting the house with the historic colors that was shown in pictures, and stocking the barns, getting the new machinery into the barns, and then getting started with the horse stables. Kitten had drawn up on her computer program what she wanted and EJ was just starting on that. Kitten had tilled under the ten front acres of sunflower debris that was left over after burning the field, before she went ahead and planted the new seeds. She had received the check from the insurance company for all the damages and the machinery that had either disappeared or was damaged and that helped her out with getting the new things and rebuilding. Everyday she went into town and exercised the horses at Doc’s, came back and worked on the other 490 acres that needed to be done.
Very seldom did their paths cross, except during Jaret’s and Miss Alysia’s wedding. The hour ceremony was the longest in EJ’s life. Seeing Kitten walk down the aisle ahead of her mama in an off white Victorian gown gave EJ a shock. Her hair, piled on top of her head with wisps falling around her face, shone like silk in the sun. Kitten thought the same about EJ as he wore the same kind of Victorian period clothing. It was just too much to handle.
“We have loved each other for a lifetime, have known each other for longer, and will forever be together. Throughout history we were destined to not meet on this Earth, but in Eternity. So from this day forward let our love shine as bright as the stars in the sky that led us to each other again.”
Both Jaret and her mama recited the vow at the same time, leading Kitten to ever wonder if she would look as radiant, and feel as much love as her mama did at this very moment.
Looking over at EJ, he mouthed the word, “Forever.”
She hugged her mama and Jaret and hurriedly left, not being able to bear being around any longer than necessary. In her room, changing into work clothes, she noticed a single page laying on the bed, ripped from a diary, one that Kitten had never seen. It was in Miss Lily’s handwriting. Forever- Alysia had just left for school, walking with her other friends. Two more days and she would be out of school. At 16 she was graduating with a certificate to teach. So very proud of her. As I was sitting on the veranda early in the morning, my ever present iced water on the table beside me, a very handsome gentleman came walking up the drive. I didn’t recognize him far off, but I did recognize the feelings that were swirling around in me. Only one person had ever evoked those feelings and I knew that I would never feel that way again. Even Noah knew I loved him, but also another, and he understood. He swept the hat off his head as he looked at me and smiled. It was the most amazing thing. Like we were transported back in time, young again, just starting out in life. All it took was him saying my name and I had my arms wrapped around Elijah’s neck, never wanting to let go. His arms around me like steel bands, even if I wanted loose I wouldn’t be able to move. All I kept repeating was that I loved him, that I missed him and he said the same to me. As soon as he touched his lips to mine, it was like he had never left me. Desire, white hot and strong, hit me from inside and I knew that I had to have him, whatever it took. He followed me inside and stopped in the foyer as I went into the kitchen to tell the staff I would be upstairs and did not want to be disturbed, unless it was about Alysia. I took him upstairs and we talked for a time and I learned that he had come back to find me. To find out if I was still alive and to let me know that he intended to marry me. Tracing the beloved face that I have held in my heart and mind for so many years was like touching a dream. He threw his hat on the reading chair and started kissing me over and over. Not that I minded, I didn’t want him to stop. I took his hands and put them on my body and even through the clothing I could feel the imprint of them. Not saying a word, but with only a look we both shed clothes and lay together. Wrapped in his arms for the first time in decades I knew that he had finally come home to me and would never leave again, for I would not let him. For hours we lay that way, talking about our future, and where we would live. I knew he had a horse farm to run, and since Alysia would be getting her teaching license, I knew that she could take care of herself, with help of course from the household staff here. I hated leaving my baby, but my life and my heart I hated to sacrifice, which, to think of it, sounds extremely cruel. There were ways around the issue, her coming with us and coming back and forth, but we would iron out those details. We decided we would be married when he came back the following week. Making love with him after all these years was simply amazing. It was like we had never forgotten the other’s body. Right before Alysia came home, we were dressed and sitting on the veranda. He had to be going he said. Horses to get back to the farm before he came back for me for good. One last wild kiss before he walked back down the long drive. It was like I was on cloud nine. For the first time in over a year I remember smiling for no reason. I might not have loved my dear husband Noah like he should have been loved, but I was devastated at his death. I know that I will be with my love forever.
Kitten didn’t understand. If they were to be married, what happened? Why were they not? Going to the stack of journals that were from Elijah she went through the years until she found what she was looking for. Some of the account was a bit smudged, but she could still read it. She didn’t want to read what happened at Tara, only after, so she skipped to the end.
May 29, 1945- I walked down the drive knowing I made a promise I may never be able to keep. I intend to marry Lily, but right now I’m still married. Our marriage is almost over, we barely talk, barely see each other as we both live separately right now. I came to see if Lily was still alive, still loved me, and I know she does. As soon as I get back I will bring up the ugly word of divorce. I do not know what else to do. I know that we are both saddened over our marriage, but she knows that I have loved another for almost my entire life. She knows the history and I do not know why it has become an issue all these years later. June 6, 1945-I regret not getting in touch with Lily. I fear she thinks something has happened, but our impending marriage has been put on hold indefinitely. Shanna has told me why she has been so indifferent to me. She has read my diaries and my journals, and I know she should have seen them before now. I had told her many times about Lily, but I don’t think she realized the depth of my love for her. Shanna and I have decided to stay married, but I can’t stop feeling like I’m being disloyal to Lily. Somehow, someway I need to get a message to her. June 19, 1945- Finally an answer back from my beloved Lily. She does understand my situation and knows that I will be coming to Albemarle to buy a stallion and I will be meeting her in town. Tara holds too many memories and I will never be able to leave if I go there. June 30, 1945- Seeing her a few days ago was like having the breath knocked out of me. Such a beautiful sight as she stood inside the general store. I stared for awhile before going to stand just outside, waiting for her to leave. Watching as she walked out, I again hated the reason I was here, hated seeing the recrimination I knew I would see on her face. We walked to the room that I had in town for the night. No recrimination did I see in her eyes, only a pure love shone there. I told her about Shanna, about our problems, and to my disbelief, Lily understood it all. I took her hand in mine and vowed that in my heart she was my wife, and she vowed to me that I was her husband. Such a burden lifted off me at that moment. In the eyes of God, I know that this is not condoned, but in our hearts and our eyes, it is right where we both belong. Lily knows I probably won’t see her again in this life, but knows when I do pass on, I will be with her forever then.
Kitten closed the book, tears in her eyes. She could understand now. Understand her feelings that overwhelmed her, even in her deepest sleep. Elijah was ready to divorce to have Miss Lily. She remembered the conversations that she used to overhear between Miss Lily and her mama about “the other men” and now knew a little reason why. EJ would be just like Elijah. Going back to Candra and staying, while they had a connection, but she knew she couldn’t hold on. If E
J came back to her, then they would take it from there. If not, she would go on with her life, just like all three generations before her.
Opening her nightstand she took out the journal she kept there and simply wrote: Only Time Will Tell- Today Mama married Jaret Chamberlain, the first one to actually accomplish that goal legally. I haven’t finished reading all of the accounts, but there have never been any stories about a Chambers woman and a Chamberlain man being wed. EJ and I love each other, but he is committed to someone else and I can’t and won’t break that up. Will we end up like Miss Victoria and Josh, only to catch glimpses now and then? Will we be like Elijah and Miss Lily and be wed in our hearts and souls, never to be legally wed and see each other whenever they could? Or will we be like Jaret and Mama and wait sixty years to finally be wed? I guess only time will tell our fate.
Kitten shook her head. That had been over a week ago and it was time to move on. Out in the back hundred acres she was cutting hay and knew she still had a long ways to go before she was done for the day, especially if she wanted to get in the house before EJ did. Avoiding him was hard, but she was getting used to it. Coming to the end of a long row, she turned and saw the object she had been avoiding standing in the middle of the field with his arms crossed.
Cursing in her mind, she got off the tractor and walked to him. “What?” Forget the sweet lady she was supposed to be.
EJ just looked at her. “You’re avoiding me again. Why?”
Kitten turned around and said, “I have work to do. We’re not discussing this anymore, and you’re a married man. I have to get back to work.”
EJ stared at the lady wearing jeans with her long hair coming out of it’s ever present bun, jump on up on the tractor. “Listen, lady, I’m not coming up there, so I suggest you get down.”
Kitten started the tractor and inched it forward. “Get out of my way EJ.”
EJ stood there, unmoving and looked at her, staring her down, actually. “Get down, Kitten, we need to talk.” Kitten stopped the tractor and yelled down at him, “I’m not getting down. Move out of my way.”
EJ ran to the tractor and climbed up to where she was. “Dammit Kitten, I’m not playing games.” Kitten looked at him with hurt in her eyes. “I’m not playing. I can’t do this anymore. Just let me finish what I have to do, and you finish what you have to do and then you can leave.”
EJ stared at her. “That’s what we need to talk about. I’m going home. Randall hired two guys to finish the inside of the stables. I’m going to get Shilo, bring him back and then I’m going home. I thought I should tell you.”
Kitten was numb. She knew the day would come, but never thought she would actually hear the words. Not making a scene, too much of a lady for that, she took a deep breath and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Good-bye, EJ. I’ll see you when you bring Shilo back. Now I need to get back to work.”
EJ couldn’t believe this. He was expecting her to beg and plead with him to stay. He jumped down and walked to the house getting his stuff ready.
Kitten waited until he was totally out of sight before she broke down and cried. Now she knew how someone could die of a broken heart. He wasn’t even gone, but he took her heart with him. She bid him a mental good-bye. Feeling the vibration of her phone, she answered it without feeling. “Hello?” She wiped the tears from her cheeks as she waited for the other person on the phone to say something.
“I know how you feel. Don’t pretend you don’t hurt. I’ll be back, if only for a day.”
Kitten closed the phone without saying a word. Before she started up the tractor once more she heard the soft southern voice she was becoming accustomed to hearing. I said they always come back, you’ll see. Kitten tried to imagine her life without EJ and found out she couldn’t, but would she take another woman’s husband? She knew the answer to that and the consequence. She would fight for her love, but she would also let him go?
Kitten stayed out until she knew that EJ was in bed. She knew he hadn’t left yet, hadn’t heard the loud diesel truck he loved, start up. Walking in the moonlight always had help her think out things before, but all of her thoughts were muddled in her mind. She warred with herself with what she wanted to do and what she knew she had to do. She walked to the stables and saw just how much had been accomplished. She had her fifteen stalls already roughed in, plus her extra three rooms for when and if she decided to hire someone to work with the horses.
Inhaling deeply, she loved the smell of fresh cut wood, Kitten felt her tension dissipate and hope rise up through her body. Smiling, she nodded. It was as if she could feel the generations before her giving her that hope, silently telling her not to worry, that she would have him back in her life. Looking at her cell phone, she saw it was way past 2 am and an early morning awaited her.
Walking slowly back to the house, locking the doors, up the stairs, she stopped in front of the General’s room, touching the doorknob and feeling the power of desire slam in to her from all sides. Gasping for breath, she unlocked the door and went in. Overwhelming love, a yearning like none she had ever felt before, and passion, all whirled around her, calling her.
Kitten moved the General’s things, placing them gently on the rocker next to the bed, and then she lay down, on top of the comforter. Closing her eyes for just a second, she inhaled and could smell verbena, lilacs, roses, and the smallest hint of vanilla. Such intoxicating smells from a room that had been closed up for decades.
Kitten relaxed more and more into the comforter and felt herself floating. Felt her clothing loosen and had just a hint of air pass over it. A soft touch on her face, a whiff of body soap that reminded her of EJ, and the weight on her head was gone. Such a sensual feeling as fingers wound their way through her hair and over her scalp. If she woke up now, such a disappointment it would be, so she snuggled deeper into bed.
Soft words spoken into her ear, barely loud enough for her to hear. “I love you. I’m sorry I’m leaving. I’ll be back.” What the heck she thought, such a dream that she wanted to make her feelings known too before opening her eyes.
“I love you, too. I wish you would stay, and when you come back I don’t want you to leave. Please, EJ, never leave me again.”
A slight pressure on her lips before, “I don’t know if I can leave you again.”
Then all was quiet, except for the wind picking up outside. The howling of the wind woke her up a few hours later, that’s when she found herself in her room, under the covers, a note beside her on the pillow, Always, my love, EJ. That’s when she realized that everything she felt last night really happened. The words, the way he touched her, the love she felt when she was carried to her room.
Getting out of bed, she noticed how the howling had picked up. Getting quickly dressed, she first went to the General’s room and went inside. The mementos were placed on the bed as they usually were, and the room smelled like the polish that was used in the room once a week, not the smells of last night. She came out, locked the door and hurried down the staircase, putting her hair up in a long ponytail for a few minutes.
Checking the computer for the first time in weeks, she pulled up the weather and saw something she didn’t like. Hurricane Emma a category 5 hurricane, heading toward the northwest while it was already a couple of hundred miles off the coast of Florida. It was expected to hit the Outer Banks and then ricochet off out to sea. Looking at the radar, she saw some storms that were popping up over her, the reason for the wind. Deciding to check the weather later, she took her rain poncho out, just in case, and headed for the pasture on the east 200.
EJ, meanwhile had the radio on and heard the update about Hurricane Emma. Hurricane Emma, moving northwest at 15 miles per hour, with winds of 160 miles per hour, is now expected to make landfall around Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, as a very dangerous category 5, move over the major city of Charlotte, North Carolina, still a dangerous category 4, before turning directions and heading over Baltimore as a tropical storm. Everybody in the path of this very
dangerous Hurricane needs to start making preparations now. More on this storm and possible effects can be heard on -
EJ didn’t wait to hear what station to turn to. Speed dialing the number, he didn’t wait for her to say hello. “Candra. There’s been a change of plans. I won’t be coming home tonight or tomorrow. I’m heading back to Kitten’s. Have you been watching the news?”
Candra told him she hadn’t.
“Hurricane Emma. Heading toward South Carolina, heading over Charlotte, North Carolina , which means-”
“Oh, no, which means she’s in the path of this. Do you want me to tell Jaret and Alysia? They’re here right now.”
EJ knew they would want to come back immediately. “No. I’ll tell them if anything happens. Candra, we’re almost completely finished. For this to happen now, what are the chances?”
“I don’t know sweetheart. Just be careful. Don’t worry about anything here. EJ, I love you.”
EJ knew he loved her, but didn’t say it. “I know you do, Candra. I’ll let you know what happens.” He felt bad about not saying it to her, but he just couldn’t right now. Speed dialing another number he heard Kitten’s voice mail, so he called the house.
“Triple C Plantation.”
“Lissa, it’s EJ. Where’s Kitten?”
Lissa hadn’t seen her all morning, but the telltale drone of the tractor pulling away from the house told her where she was going. “She’s off to the east 200 acres today. Why?”
“Has either one of you watched the weather lately?” He knew that was a stupid question. Even though they had a television, it hadn’t been turned on the entire time he was there.
“I haven’t watched the weather, but I’ve heard it on the radio.”
EJ told her to hang on for a second and he got back on the interstate toward Albemarle. “I’m heading back to Triple C. If Kitten gets in before I get there, tell her I’m coming back.”
Lissa was confused. “Why are you heading back for? You just left. What’s so urgent?” He didn’t have time to explain. “Hurricane Emma. I’m on my way back. Tell her I’ll be there soon.” EJ hung up. After all they had went through, they didn’t need a hurricane flattening everything back down again. He looked up toward the sky and prayed. “Lord, if you’re doing this to show me something, can’t you do it in another way?”