by Sara Orwig
“Of course,” she said, “although most of the scrapbooks and that sort of thing are in Santa Fe, not South Dakota.”
“When I come to Santa Fe, I’ll see what you keep there.”
“Jared, you may find you don’t want the responsibility of a child,” she said, receiving a stormy glance and feeling their clash of wills that had returned full force.
“If you’re counting on that, you might as well forget it. I’m going to try my damnedest to get along with my son and be a father to him.”
“That’s different than being a chum.”
“I know that much. How soon will you get him home from your uncle’s house?”
“I’ll drive to Sioux Falls when we get back. I called while I was waiting for you,” she said. “I told them I would pick him up today and take him to the ranch. You can come tomorrow.”
“Did he mind the change in plans?”
“No. You said it yourself—kids adapt. He’s looking forward to seeing me, and I’ll be glad to see him. This has made me miss him twice as much.”
Jared nodded and reached over to take her hand. “Thanks for what you’re doing. I know you don’t want to, but it’s inevitable and much better this way, when you smooth the introduction. Anything we can do to make this transition easier will be better for Ethan, and I appreciate it.”
“I might as well try to do things the best way for him,” she responded, aware of her hand in Jared’s, his dark eyes resting on her.
“I still want you,” he said, sliding his hand behind her head and leaning forward to kiss her long and slowly.
She kept reminding herself to resist him, but she kissed him back instead. And each kiss forged a tighter bond, would be a bigger heartbreak and more of a struggle for her.
He raised his head. “Stop fighting me, Meg. You want this, too.”
“No, I don’t. I will contend with you as long as you kiss and flirt.” She withdrew her hand from his. He stretched out his long legs and crossed them at the ankles.
“Tell me about Ethan,” he said.
They talked about Ethan over a light lunch, and then Jared tried to charm and entertain her the rest of the way home with stories from his life.
Finally, she told him good-bye and headed to the ranch, anxious to see Ethan. And she wished with all her heart she didn’t have to face her son and tell him that his real father wasn’t who he’d thought all these years, but another man—one he had met only recently and briefly.
That evening, she pulled her son onto her lap. He was big enough that his legs dangled almost to the floor, but not quite. “Ethan, I want to talk to you about something important.”
Eight
Thursday morning Megan opened the door and stepped back to let Jared enter. For the first time since he was in his early twenties, he was nervous. He held a package in his hand wrapped in plain gray paper. He also had a junior-size football and a paper sack. Even with all his thoughts on the event ahead, he noticed Megan. He wished they’d stayed at his Yucatán home another day or more, because he wanted more nights with her, and he’d already missed her badly. It was a surprise that he would want her with him so much because he had thought he was over her and she would no longer be so important to him. She had her hair in a braid today and she wore tight jeans, a green T-shirt and boots.
“I left my things in the car. I can get them later,” Jared said and she nodded. “He’s okay with all this?” Jared asked.
“Yes,” she answered. Her eyes were wide, a clear turquoise, and she looked pale and somber. “He’s curious and I think he likes the idea of having a dad, but he’s shy.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s waiting in the family room. Jared, after I introduce you, I’m going to leave the two of you to get acquainted. I may go riding. It’s a pretty June day and he likes to play outside, so that’s good. You can take him out or you can stay in the family room. If you want to call, I’ll have my cell phone. I’ll stay out of the way for the next two hours.”
He nodded. “That’s great, Megan. I want to take both of you to dinner tonight.”
“Thanks, but I already have steaks. We’ll eat here and it’ll be easier.”
They entered the family room and he saw Ethan dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. He sat on the sofa playing with toy cars. As soon as they walked into the room, Ethan assessed him with a mixture of shyness and curiosity. He stood and waited.
“Ethan, this is Jared Dalton. You met in town last week. He’s your real father. I told you about him.”
Jared held out his hand to shake Ethan’s. “I brought you a present.”
“Before you open it, Ethan,” Megan said, “I told you earlier, I’m going to leave so you and Jared can get to know each other. I have my cell phone and you know how to call me. I’ll be back after a while.” She leaned down and he ran to her, holding up his arms and she swung him up to hug and kiss him. He held her tightly until she leaned away to set him on his feet. “Be a good boy.”
Ethan looked solemn and worried as she glanced at Jared. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Thanks, Megan.” He turned to his son. “Ethan, I also brought you a football,” Jared said. “We can throw it a little if you’d like to. First open your present.”
Ethan nodded solemnly.
“Ethan—thank him,” Megan prompted.
“Thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome,” Jared said, smiling at him, wishing he knew a way to make this easier for Ethan.
“I’ll leave now.” Megan walked away and Jared wondered whether she was crying or not. He looked back at Ethan. “You can open your present, Ethan.”
Ethan slowly tore away the wrapping paper and opened the box to stare at the contents.
“It’s a model airplane and it has a real motor. If you want, I’ll help you put it together and then we can take it out and fly it.”
“Sure,” he said, glancing at Jared with a faint smile, and Jared let out his breath, thankful that it appeared he’d bought the right gift. Ethan looked in the box again and sat on the floor, starting to pour the contents out.
“Wait a minute, Ethan. I brought some things we’ll use. Let’s go out on the porch and work out there.”
Ethan picked up the box and ran outside and Jared followed. “Ethan, I also brought a camera. May I take your picture?”
“Sure,” he said, immediately halting and waiting. Jared pulled a camera out of the sack and took three pictures.
“Can I take your picture?”
“Of course, here’s the camera. Do you know how?”
“Yes, sir. Mommy showed me.” Jared watched Ethan turn the camera in his small hands and hold it out, clicking a picture. He smiled and handed back the camera and Jared showed him the picture he had taken.
“Good job. When I get home, I’ll print out copies and send them to you.” Jared began to empty his sack, withdrawing a newspaper to unfold it. “Now, let’s build the plane and fly it.”
Ethan plopped down and helped Jared spread the newspaper. Next, Jared pulled out an instruction sheet and glue and a sheet of stickers from the sack and sat on the floor of the porch beside Ethan to work with him, letting Ethan do all that he could by himself.
He was surprised how well Ethan took directions, soon losing his shyness and working happily with Jared as if they had known each other for years.
“Mr. Dalton—”
“Ethan,” Jared interrupted gently, placing his hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “I’m your dad. Call me Daddy or Dad, whichever you like, but I’m not Mr. Dalton to you.”
“Daddy,” Ethan said shyly, staring at Jared, and Jared reached over impulsively and picked up Ethan to hug him.
“Ethan, I already love you. You’re my son, my child, my baby even if you’re not a baby any longer. You’re part of me and my love is yours.”
Ethan put his thin arms around Jared’s neck and hugged him. “I’m glad you’re here, Daddy. I’ve wanted a daddy because my friends have da
ddies.”
“Well, you have one and I’m here to stay. If I had known I was going to be a dad, I would have come back immediately, Ethan. I won’t ever leave you again except for short times when I go to work or you go to school,” Jared said, feeling tears well up, surprised he was so emotional about Ethan. He hugged the boy’s small, thin body and closed his eyes, holding his son close. “You’ll never know how much I do love you, Ethan, but someday, when you’re a daddy, you’ll begin to understand.”
Ethan laughed and wiggled to get free, so Jared set him back where he had been, beside the toy plane that was almost complete.
“We have to let this dry for about thirty minutes,” Jared said. “Then we’ll go fly it.” He watched, helping when necessary, as Ethan did the finishing touches and then picked the colors he wanted and lined up the small pots of paint.
Ethan picked up a paintbrush, dipped it in green paint and began to apply it to the fuselage.
Watching as Ethan concentrated on painting his airplane, Jared marveled at how easily a child accepted life. Jared watched small fingers put on a coat of bright green paint, with orange flames along the cowling.
“Great plane, Ethan!” Jared praised his son as he rose to step back and take a picture of Ethan painting his toy model.
“Now, Ethan, we wait for it to dry,” Jared said, closing the pots of paint. “We’ll clean up. And since I brought a football, we can go toss it, if you’d like.”
“Yes, sir. I want a drink of water first.”
“Okay, come with me to the kitchen.”
Jared held the door and went inside the quiet, cool house, feeling Megan’s presence even though she wasn’t there, seeing her touches in a vase of cut red roses, seeing a book she was reading that was on the table beside a chair. If only she would agree to the marriage of convenience, or at least to move to Dallas, they could so easily share Ethan’s life. Instead, from all she’d said, she was preparing to go to court, and Jared dreaded it. It would hurt all of them—a bitter, damaging battle. One he expected to win, which would hurt Megan even more.
If they went to court, though, he vowed to fight for full custody. She’d regret not cooperating with him. He could get better lawyers than she could, and more of them, he was certain. The whole prospect was dismal and distasteful. And so unnecessary. They’d had a wonderful night in the tropics. Megan was the most exciting woman he’d ever known, and since their return to South Dakota, he’d missed her terribly.
He poured Ethan a glass of water and watched the boy’s small hands encircle the little glass. He was totally fascinated with his son, and thankful Megan had suggested they get to know each other right away.
As Ethan finished and handed the glass back to Jared, he cocked his head to one side. “Where’s the football?” he asked, running toward the porch. Jared followed, stepping out to see Ethan already in the yard, tossing the ball up and then running to get it when it fell in the grass.
He turned to throw it to Jared, who had to leap to one side to catch it. Jared moved closer and threw an easy toss underhand, which Ethan caught with both hands. He beamed with pleasure, throwing it back toward Jared.
After ten minutes, Ethan tired of catch and ran to climb on his swing. “Come push me.”
“How about a ‘please’?” Jared asked, strolling over to swing Ethan.
The morning passed and they were flying the plane when Megan emerged from the house carrying a platter with sandwiches, which she put on the table on the porch. She came out to join them as Ethan called to her.
“Look, Mommy! Look at the plane I built. And it flies!”
“Good job, Ethan!” she complimented him, walking up to Jared. He watched her approach, and he longed to go take her into his arms and kiss her and thank her for the morning with Ethan. Instead, he stood quietly waiting, wanting her in his arms and in his bed again with an increasing urgency.
“Looks like you’ve won his friendship, which I knew you would,” she said solemnly.
“Don’t sound so disappointed,” Jared said, annoyed with her tone—even as he desired her.
“I’m not. I know he needs a father in his life. I brought lunch, if either of you are hungry. Looks as if I may not be able to tear him away from flying his plane.”
“He can come back to it,” Jared said, turning to Ethan. “Ethan, land your plane and let’s go eat lunch.”
“Watch, Mommy. Watch my plane. Look at this,” Ethan called, pressing buttons and toggling a switch on his remote control, bringing the plane to the ground with a bounce. Jared and Megan both clapped and she smiled.
“That’s great, Ethan,” she said.
He dropped the remote control and ran toward the table.
“Go wash your hands,” Megan called after him, and he disappeared into the house.
“I think I’ll do the same. We’ve had an assortment of activities this morning, and I feel dusty,” Jared said, heading into the house behind Ethan.
They all reconvened on the porch to eat lunch, which Ethan wanted to escape after only a quarter of a chicken salad sandwich. Megan excused him and he ran off to play with the airplane again.
“So you bonded instantly. I’m relieved to see that you get along and can communicate with him.”
Jared smiled at her as he sipped ice tea. “You’re surprised and I would guess you’re disappointed.”
“Not really. I’d be unhappy if you couldn’t.”
“He asked me why I didn’t marry you. I told him I asked you a few days ago and you didn’t want to change the life you have with him right now. You may get questions yourself.”
“I have, and I expect to get more. I try to be as up front with him as I can. Your answer was a stretch, because what you proposed was a marriage of convenience. Of course, that’s the only kind it could be, because we’re not in love.”
He leaned forward to touch her cheek lightly. “It doesn’t mean that love isn’t going to happen. It could occur if we both try to be friends.”
“Forget it, Jared. I’m not marrying you and we’re not going back to the way we were.”
“I thought we got along great at my Yucatán home,” he said.
“The time in the Yucatán was a rare moment that won’t happen again. Let’s drop it. Here comes Ethan.”
Jared straightened and turned to watch Ethan, who came to sit with them and talk about his airplane. “Daddy, will you come fly it with me?”
“Sure will,” he said, looking at Megan, who was frowning. “If Mommy will excuse us.”
“Of course,” she said, and Jared left with Ethan, who ran to jump off the porch steps, half-stumble and keep running to his plane. Jared watched him get the plane in the air. He thought about going back to help Megan clean up, but decided to stay out of her way.
After Jared had grilled dinner, they spent the evening in games with Ethan. Megan finally stood. “Ethan, it’s bedtime. Say good night.”
“Mom! School’s out and I’m not sleepy.”
“Give me a good-night hug, Ethan, and do what your mother says. The first thing you know, it’ll be morning and we can fly your plane again,” Jared said, pushing his chair away from the game table and standing to hold out his arms and pick up Ethan, who put his arms around Jared’s neck in a hug.
“Will you come kiss me good night?”
Jared looked over Ethan’s head at Megan.
“He can come kiss you good night in about thirty minutes. You have to have a bath and then I’ll read a story to you,” Megan said, reassuring him.
“All right. I’ll be there in about thirty minutes from now. For the moment, good night, Ethan,” Jared said, kissing Ethan’s forehead. He set him on his feet. “Now go and get to bed so you can get up.”
Ethan turned to scamper away ahead of Megan. “Well, thanks. Tonight he’s cooperating fully with you and that makes my job easier.” She left the room and Jared hoped she would return and sit with him in a while. He wanted to be with her. He missed her and their night toget
her had been paradise. But the future wasn’t going to be rosy if she was going ahead with what she’d threatened.
He moved to the porch and sat, propping his feet on the railing and staring out into the yard. Light from a lamppost shed light on a flowerbed, and faded into darkness beyond.
He glanced at his watch and headed toward Ethan’s room. As he approached he heard the sound of Megan’s voice. At the doorway of Ethan’s room, he paused. Megan was stretched out in bed with Ethan beside her, and she held a child’s book in her hand. She read quietly to Ethan, who was curled against her, his eyes barely open. One hand held his toy airplane and another held a frayed blue blanket that he fingered as she read. A battered white bear lay in Ethan’s lap.
Jared entered and sat quietly in a rocking chair. She glanced at him, though Ethan seemed too sleepy to notice. Jared rocked and watched her. A small lamp burned and showed Megan beautiful in the low light. Her midnight hair spilled forward, glints shining in the cascade of thick, straight strands. Jared wanted her, but he was also held captive watching her, hearing the love and tenderness in her voice.
He knew whatever happened in the future, he could never take Ethan from Megan. All afternoon and evening love radiated between them constantly. When he’d been around her, Ethan had hovered next to her, touching his mother as if to reassure himself she was there. And she watched him with obvious love and pride in her gaze. Sadness swamped him that they were caught in a dilemma that could so easily be avoided if she would drop her bitterness over the past.
Jared realized he’d let her father intimidate him. He should have stayed.
In the end, right before he’d left, he had gone to his own father to let him know about Sorenson’s threats. Jared could remember his father’s rage and insistence that Jared stay and try to talk to Megan, but at twenty-five, after growing up watching the two men fight over every ranch problem that involved his neighbor, Jared had no doubts that Edlund Sorenson would carry out his threats.
At the time, deep down, he’d felt Megan probably had known what her dad was doing. He was her father, after all. If she didn’t, Jared figured they would get back together, and shortly after he had gone, he wrote her the first letter. All his letters went unanswered, which to him, at the time, seemed an answer in itself.