“You must be get along well with him, then,” Sophia said. Her brother had spent years living in the wilderness in Michigan without any computers or hovercars. He had only moved back to civilization when the bear flu epidemic happened and his clan had discovered a way to cure it.
“I respect his hatred of technology, sure. But I do have to say that everything I’ve gone through has made me realize that my big, brave front I put up of not needing any technology was sort of a way to avoid connecting with people. I was afraid of relationships, and if I was the ‘weird guy’ who lived off the grid then I never really had to deal with getting close to someone. I see a lot of my old self in Finn. I think he’s lonely, and hurting, but doesn’t want to admit it.”
Drew shrugged and then took a long sip of his beer. Sophia stared at him with a slightly surprised expression on her face.
“You never told me all that,” she said. “I always thought you just liked being a loner. I didn’t realize you were actually hiding from people.”
Drew laughed. “Yeah, I guess I don’t talk about it much anymore. It feels like a long time ago now. I have Hope, and Nikki, and a whole new clan who accepts me even though I’m not a shifter myself. Life seems so…normal. Sometimes I forget how down on love and relationships I used to be.”
Sophia laughed bitterly. “Well, then get ready for a fun couple of weeks, because I’m sure I’ll be moping around griping about the lack of romance in my life.”
Drew reached over and squeezed her arm. “Hang in there, Sis. Sometimes love shows up when you least expect it. I know it did for me.”
Sophia gave her brother a brave smile, but she couldn’t bring herself to really believe his words. She’d gotten her hopes up before, and she wasn’t going to do that again. Experience told her that the more she wished for a merry, love-filled Christmas, the more disappointed she ended up being.
She took a long sip from her beer and forced herself to change the conversation to Drew’s job back in Kodiak. She was here to spend time with her family, not to go on a fruitless quest for a lifemate. Her best course of action was to just enjoy the time with the family she already had.
And damn, they might not be a traditional family, but they were a hell of a good crew to have on your side.
Chapter Four
Finn Murray wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He was almost done with the food order for Drew, and the woman with Drew whose name was apparently Sophia. Finn wondered who Sophia was. She must have been family. Drew acted like he knew her well. A sister, perhaps? She didn’t look anything like Drew, but that didn’t mean much. Finn knew Drew was adopted. He was also full human, unlike this girl who was clearly a bear shifter.
What she did look like was amazing. Finn had never seen a woman so gorgeous. Her long, wavy hair hung several inches past her shoulders. It was a chestnut brown hue, the same as her dark eyes. Her curves were perfect, amply filling out her tightly-fitting jeans and long-sleeved navy sweater. She was tall, even for a shifter, and she carried herself in a different way than most of the shifters that he knew. She almost walked like she was from the city.
Finn winced. He had to admit that sometimes he missed living in a big city. He’d grown up there, after all. He’d loved how you could just get lost in crowds. How there were so many people who shared your interests, no matter what those interests happened to be. But he would never go back. There was too much technology everywhere. Too many reminders of his parents and how they died.
Besides, Frost Peak was home now. He’d been here a decade, and the Frost Peak Grizzlies accepted him and all his loner quirks. They never made him feel badly for not owning a computer or a hovercar. They accepted that he was gruff and quiet—although he had been known to be quite jolly when plied with too many beers.
Finn furrowed his brow. This was the way he liked things. A gruff exterior, with perhaps brief moments of letting his guard down. He couldn’t say that his life had been all bad. After all, he’d never had to worry about money, and he’d been able to pursue any kind of hobby or educational experience that he desired. But still, he’d suffered some heartache, and that had taught him that loving someone else was dangerous. When you loved someone, you constantly worried about losing them. And nothing in the world tore at your soul more than losing someone your heart was connected to.
Finn stood up straight with a long sigh, then went to finish plating the two dishes he’d cooked up for Drew and Sophia. He always took great pride in how he presented the food he served, but today he was especially careful with Sophia’s plate. He had a strange desire to impress her, even though he knew that any kind of relationship was off limits. Whoever she was, she wasn’t from Frost Peak. She was only here for Christmas, and he wasn’t about to start up some sort of long-distance shenanigans.
Still, he could look, couldn’t he? He was pretty sure he’d never seen anyone or anything lovelier.
As Finn picked up the plates to take them out to Drew and Sophia, he heard the bell above the bar’s front door jangling loudly. Loud laughter filled the air, and Finn couldn’t help but smile. Thanks to the huge shifter reunion Sawyer had organized, Frost Peak was filling up with visitors from all over Alaska, and even a few places beyond the state lines. Finn might put up a grumpy front, but he did enjoy all the new energy the visitors brought. And he loved hearing fresh stories from other cities and states. This Christmas season might be a little more bearable than most.
Finn stepped back out into the main bar area, surprised to see how many people had just walked in. A group of about ten, many of whom Finn recognized as members of Drew’s clan, were all crowding around Drew and being introduced to Sophia. From the snippets of introductions that Finn was able to catch, he learned that Sophia was indeed Drew’s sister and that she’d traveled here from San Francisco. Finn smiled. He’d been right—she was a city girl.
Finn glanced at the clock. It was almost five-thirty. Thankfully, the two employees working with him tonight were due to arrive any moment now. Finn couldn’t handle cooking and grabbing beers for this many people. On nights that he knew would be busy, he let his employees handle the bar while he hid in the back and whipped up food orders. The kitchen was his happy place, and, since the whole town knew how good the food at his tiny bar was, he got to spend a lot of time in that kitchen.
As he glanced over at Sophia, though, he had to admit that he almost wished he could work out in the front of the bar tonight. He wouldn’t have minded spending the next several hours surreptitiously admiring Sophia while refilling her beer glass. She looked even lovelier now than before, as a smile graced her face and she laughed while she shook hands with the shifters from Drew’s clan whom he was introducing to her. Finn could tell she was nervous, though, despite her happy outward appearance. She was holding her shoulders a little too stiffly, and her smile was just a little too wide. Something was bothering her, and Finn was suddenly overcome with an intense desire to find out what it was and make it better.
He turned quickly away at the thought. He had to get a grip. She wasn’t his problem, and he was a fool if he thought anything good would come of getting to know her better. He didn’t want a girlfriend, and he especially didn’t want a girlfriend who lived hundreds of miles away. And yet, he couldn’t resist one last, longing gaze at her before disappearing back into the kitchen.
And for the next several hours, that’s where he stayed. His bartenders took orders and got drinks for people, while he merrily cooked dinner for what felt like half the city. The bar was small, but there was always a steady stream of people in and out. The shifters of Frost Peak loved his food, and they were patient while he cooked as quickly as he could. Finn was efficient, and he did a lot of food prep during the day before the bar opened, so usually things ran smoothly. Tonight was no exception. Finn felt like a well-oiled machine as he blazed through orders, until, finally around ten p.m., the last dinner was served.
Finn always closed the kitchen at ten, althoug
h the bar stayed open much later. He found that not many food orders came in after ten, so it was better to just get things wrapped up. He always had a lot of cleanup to do, but, tonight, he wanted a quick break before starting in on the mess.
He slipped to the front of the bar, where dozens of shifters were packed in, laughing and talking noisily. Finn saw that Sophia was still there, sitting in the same barstool and deep in conversation with her brother over a nearly empty mug of beer. He felt a strange sense of relief that she was still here, although it shouldn’t have mattered. He wasn’t planning on talking to her. Still, it was nice to see her again. Her beauty was astounding, and seeing her lovely face felt like a welcome reward after the hours of hard work he’d just put in.
Finn turned his eyes away before anyone could notice that he was staring. He grabbed a glass and the best bottle of whiskey that the bar stocked, then poured himself a generous serving. He replaced the whiskey bottle, then grabbed the glass and slipped out the side door of the bar.
The sudden silence as the bar door closed behind him felt startling. Heavy snow was on the ground, muffling even the occasional whiz of a passing hovercar. Finn felt his body temperature cooling as the chilling air hit the perspiration on his forehead. He should have put his jacket and gloves on before coming out into the freezing cold, but he’d left them by the front door and he hadn’t felt like fighting through the crowd to get them. He’d be okay for a little bit. His inner bear would keep him warm enough.
Finn took a long, slow sip of his drink. This whiskey had been one of his dad’s favorites. It was pricey, but not too pricey. For a rich man like his father, it had been downright cheap. No one in Frost Peak ever wanted to buy shots of it, but Finn still stocked it in the bar so that he could drink it whenever he felt like it. The taste reminded him of his dad, which was strange since Finn had still been too young to drink when his father died. But, over the years, just knowing that this was what his father drank had somehow caused the taste to be a reminder of the man.
Finn looked out over the town of Frost Peak. Here and there, lights glowed from windows, or wisps of smoke rose from chimneys. But overall, things were quiet right now. This was the calm before the storm. Christmas was a big deal in Frost Peak, and the reunion this year was making it a bigger deal than normal. There were all sorts of festivities planned, starting with the decoration and dedication of the official Frost Peak Christmas Tree this weekend. A large tree would be placed in the town square, and Sawyer, their alpha, would make a speech to dedicate the tree. Then the people of Frost Peak would decorate it. Over the following days and weeks, there would be parties, parades, dances, and musical performances. Townspeople would get together for everything from afternoon tea and hot chocolate to five course dinners to dessert buffets to eggnog socials. The merriment in the air would be almost palpable. Love, peace, and joy would radiate from every face.
And, like always, Finn would go through the holidays alone.
He sighed and took another long sip from his whiskey, then shivered as a gust of cold air hit him. Even with the warmth of his inner bear, he was starting to chill. He really should go inside, but he couldn’t resist just a few more minutes out here in this peaceful silence. He wondered, as he always did around Christmas, whether he should leave Frost Peak. He’d moved here to feel like he was close to his parents. This was their hometown, and where they’d both grown up. He felt like it was still who they had been, even though they had later spent so much time in New York.
Finn shivered again, not from the cold but from a cold wave of grief at the thought of his parents. Even all these years later, Christmas without them filled him with grief. He’d been told that he should move on and start a family of his own, and that this would lessen the pain. But all he could think about was that loving someone else meant potentially losing someone else.
So, no, he wouldn’t pursue a family of his own. He’d enjoy the company of the townspeople, and enjoy cooking up new dishes for them. And when the sting of loneliness got too strong, he’d pour a glass of whiskey for himself to take the edge off.
Finn drained the rest of his current glass of whiskey in one long, smooth movement. Then he turned and headed back into the bar through the side door, only moments before Sophia left out the front.
He couldn’t admit it to himself, but a definite twinge of disappointment passed through his heart when he looked around the bar only to find that she was gone.
Chapter Five
Sophia quietly stepped into the Frost Peak library, then looked around uncertainly. The place still had a surprising amount of paper books, which perhaps wasn’t all that strange for a town that was so isolated in the middle of nowhere. Most of the libraries back home had become nothing more than study centers, offering electronic books you could download and plenty of computers and workstations where you could access the internet for free.
Frost Peak’s library, like so many other places in this town, still boasted of significant pieces of the past. Sophia could hardly believe that there were shelves of books just sitting there, available to pick up and touch. Due to the scarcity of paper, the collection this library had was likely worth millions. But the Frost Peak citizens didn’t think of their books as some sort of cash cow or investment. They just viewed them as a treasure for all the townspeople to enjoy.
Sophia had come here specifically to use the computers—she’d forgotten her laptop back in California, and her phone was too small to comfortably use for anything more than mindless internet searching. Sophia wanted to get started on her job search, though. Drew had tried to tell her to wait a few weeks until she got home, but she wouldn’t listen. She was feeling anxious, and she knew that looking to see what was available would at least relieve the constant loop of “what-ifs” running through her head. The rest of her family, along with Drew’s clan, were all lazing around this afternoon, still recovering from a day of travel and a late night at the bar, respectively. Sophia decided this was as good a time as any to sneak off to the library and use the computers.
And yet, now that she was here and had seen the shelves of books, the idea of a job search sounded far less appealing. She was much more interested in seeing what surprises were hidden away right in front of her. She ignored the quizzical look from the librarian at the front desk and headed toward the section labeled “Adult Fiction.”
Sophia knew she stuck out like a sore thumb here. Frost Peak was large for a shifter community, but it was still a small town. All of the locals knew she was a newcomer, and most of the ones she’d talked to were keenly interested in learning her life story. Sophia should have felt flattered that they were so fascinated by her, but instead she felt embarrassed. She didn’t have much of a life story to tell. It was hard not to feel like a failure when everyone around her had successful careers and growing families.
Sophia frowned and pushed away her depressing thoughts. She hadn’t come here to mope. She reached the fiction shelves and slowly, reverently, ran her fingers over the spines of the old books. They were in surprisingly good condition, considering the newest of the books were probably about twenty years old. It had been that long since any books had been printed in hard copy. She found a whole row of Jane Austen books and smiled. These had been her favorite when she was a little girl. Sophia pulled one off the shelf and traced the fading gold lettering on the cover. Pride and Prejudice. She opened it and let the smell of old book pages reach her nose. Memories flooded her as she breathed in deeply. Modern technology, as wonderful as it was, could never replace certain things. The smell of a book was one of those things.
As Sophia flipped through the pages, something fell out and fluttered to the floor. Sophia jumped, startled, and then bent down to see what had fallen. There on the floor was a dried wildflower. Sophia picked it up gently, and looked at it in awe. The faded purple petals still looked beautiful, even though they had likely been in the pages of the book for decades. Sophia smiled and carefully placed the flower back in the book. The
n she flipped the front cover open, curious whether there was a name or anything else written in the book that might indicate who the owner had been. There was no name, but there was an inscription in neat script on the first page. It read: My dear J, The only thing stronger than your love for books is my love for you. May our story be timeless, just like your favorite romances. Merry Christmas, and here’s to many more together. Yours forever, B.
Sophia was surprised to find tears stinging the back of her eyelids. The sentiment was so simple and sweet, and she couldn’t help feeling a pang of sadness at the thought that she might never have someone say the same things to her. There were reminders of Christmastime and the love and joy it should bring everywhere she turned, even in the pages of a library book. And yet she had no one to share the season with, and no hope finding that any time soon. Sophia tried to blink away the tears, and fumbled as she tried to quickly put the book back on the shelf. Maybe she should just stick with looking for a job, like she came here to do.
Just as she managed to slide the book neatly back into its spot on the shelf, she heard a voice behind her that sounded strangely familiar.
Christmas in a Fur Coat (The Fur Coat Society Book 7) Page 3