by Diana Palmer
She smiled shyly and turned her attention back to the movie again. She didn’t see it or hear it, though, because Justin’s thumb was rubbing gently against her moist palm. She felt the movement like a brand, burning her blood, making her hungry. Her lips parted as she remembered the last time they’d been on this sofa together, and what they’d done. She remembered the leather cool against her back, the weight of Justin’s body over hers in an intimacy that could still color her cheeks scarlet.
“Do you like mysteries?” she asked, for something to say during a lull in the battle scene.
“Sure,” he said easily. “I’ve got a few Hitchcock thrillers, and a copy of Arsenic and Old Lace with Cary Grant.”
“I love that one,” she mused. “I laughed myself sick the first time I saw it.”
“How about John Wayne Westerns?” he asked with a sly glance.
She laughed. “I’ve seen Hondo so many times, I can even growl along with the character’s dog.”
“So have I.” He studied her for a long moment, admiring the way she looked in the red-and-white dress, liking the length of her dark hair. “We always did have a lot in common, Shelby. Especially guitar.” He rubbed his thumb over the tips of her fingers. “Do you ever play?”
She shook her head. “Not anymore. I…lost the taste for it.”
“So did I,” he confessed, because after they’d broken it off, he couldn’t bear the memories the guitar brought back. “Maybe we could practice together again sometime.”
“That would be nice.” She smiled at him. He smiled back. And the television set seemed a long way off as the smiles faded and the look became long and intensely arousing.
His fingers contracted roughly on hers and he drew in a steadying breath. “Come here, sweetheart,” he said softly.
She tingled all over at the way he said the endearment, because he hardly ever used one at all. He made her feel young and vulnerable. She slid closer with subdued eagerness and curled up against him with her head going to rest naturally on his hard shoulder.
“Don’t go to sleep,” he murmured drily.
“I’m not sleepy,” she said with a sigh. She smiled and nuzzled her cheek closer. “You smell spicy.”
“You smell like a gardenia,” he murmured. “It’s a scent I never connected with anyone but you.”
“It’s the perfume I used,” she said.
He took his hand away from hers and paused to put out his cigarette. Then he lifted her and turned her across him so that she was lying in his lap with her head on his chest.
“If you’d rather watch something else, I don’t mind,” he said softly, knowing full well that the movie was the last thing on both their minds.
She couldn’t have cared less what was on the screen, because all she’d seen since the beginning of the movie was Justin’s hard profile. But she didn’t say that.
“This is fine,” she assured him.
“Okay.”
He smoothed her long hair, holding her slender hand to his broad chest while he tried to pretend an interest in the movie. He was aware of Shelby now, of the scent of her, of the softness of her breasts pressed against his hard chest, of her warm hand touching him.
Her caressing fingers made his heartbeat quicken. He felt the first stirrings of desire in his powerful body and when he looked down and saw the hunger echoing in her soft eyes, he lost all efforts at pretence. Unhurriedly, he unsnapped the pearly buttons of his shirt and slowly drew Shelby’s hand against thick hair and hard, warm muscle, coaxing her to touch him. While her fingers worked on his body, his mouth began to trace patterns on her forehead, her closed eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her chin and throat.
She felt her breathing quicken as he drew her closer. His nose brushed against hers. His mouth began to search for her lips, and when he found them, the touch was explosive.
She heard his breath sigh out heavily as his mouth became demanding, intimate. His fingers slid into the thick fall of hair at her nape and arched her throat so that her mouth pushed against his, answering his hungry ardor.
Her heart went wild. Her quick, unsteady breathing suddenly matched his. She dug her nails helplessly into his hard chest, and he groaned against her lips.
“Sorry,” she faltered.
He took her lower lip between his teeth and traced it with his tongue. “I liked it,” he whispered, and his mouth opened hers, very slowly, while he stretched his length alongside hers. He sighed, and she felt the touch of his body from head to toe while the kiss grew warmer and slower and more intense. “Kiss me hard, Shelby,” he breathed huskily.
She reached up, her inhibitions wearing away under the deep caresses. Her fingers slid into his thick, black hair and savored its coolness as her mouth began to answer his.
The movie blared away, the battle scenes loud in the stillness, but neither of them heard. The kisses grew longer, drugging, aching as Justin’s hands worked at buttons and snaps. Shelby felt his bare chest against her breasts without a protest. It was delicious, the touch of skin against skin, just as it had been a few nights earlier. But this time, the old fears were greatly diminished, because now she knew that what he did wasn’t going to hurt her. She knew how gentle he could be, how patient.
She felt his hands sliding the dress away, tenderly smoothing it down her long, trembling limbs. She caught her breath and in the dim light of the lamp, he smiled at her softly.
“It’s all right,” he whispered. “I won’t go too fast. You can still stop me if you want to.”
That gave her back the choice and made everything all right. She began to relax, letting her hands slide hungrily over his hard, hair-roughened muscles. It was heaven to touch him this way, to be given the freedom to learn him with her hands. She looked up into his dark eyes with the discoveries lying vulnerable in her soft eyes, and he smiled down at her.
“Oh, Justin,” she whispered huskily. “It’s so sweet!”
He bent and lowered his mouth onto hers, feeling the words sigh against his lips. He slid his hands gently over her, feeling the ripple of her skin under them. She was like satin to the touch, and he’d gone hungry for what seemed forever.
In the back of his mind, he knew there was no chance that he was going to be able to stop, but she didn’t seem to be worried about that. She pulled him down to her and her mouth was suddenly as ardent as his, as uninhibited.
Still kissing her, he managed to get out of his own clothes, and then she was against him, trembling, while he slowed his pace and began to arouse her all over again with exquisite patience until he felt the passion shaking her slender body.
“Now,” he whispered when she was crying with her need. He eased down, turning her face up to his with a caressing hand. “No. Don’t turn away. I want to see.”
She colored feverishly, but she looked up at him the instant his body took possession of hers.
His lips parted. It was the most profound experience of his life. All the long years of loving her, needing her, and it was finally going to happen. She was his. There were no more barriers. He felt her accept him totally and his breath caught.
She stiffened just a little at the newness, the stark intimacy, but he slowed and hesitated.
“It’s all right,” he whispered tenderly, and bent to kiss her, coaxing her to relax, to let it happen. “Yes. Like that.” He laughed jerkily at the ease of it, at the exquisite sense of oneness. “Oh, Shelby!”
Her face was bloodred, but she didn’t look away. His face was taut with victory, his eyes glittering blackly with it. She reached up, her trembling hands going to his cheeks to bring his head down so that she could reach his mouth.
“Love…me,” she whispered, her voice breaking as he moved and she felt the first sweet piercing pleasure. “Justin…love me!”
The words broke his control. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, much less what he was feeling. He went under in a wave of white heat, crying out as the force of the pleasure took his restraint and left him hel
pless in the drive for fulfillment.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, Shelby knew that she should be frightened by his lack of control. But his movements were causing a kind of silvery tension that made her body sing with pleasure. Ecstasy was just out of her reach, and she stretched toward it with her last thread of strength just as Justin caught her hips and pulled.
She felt the world go spinning down under her, and she cried out his name again and again and again…
He laughed. She felt his lips at her temples, on her cheeks, her mouth, in kisses that were as tender as they were comforting.
“The first time,” he breathed, laughing again as his mouth covered hers, trembling. “My God, the first time!”
She opened her eyes, still shaking from the sudden descent from a kind of pleasure she’d never dreamed existed. She gazed up at him, fascinated by the way he looked. He seemed years younger. His hair was damp, his face sweaty, his eyes glittering with exultant pleasure. He was shuddering, his body heavy over hers, damp.
“Justin?” she whispered, disoriented.
“Are you all right, sweetheart?” he asked softly. “I didn’t hurt you?”
“No.” She blushed and lowered her eyes to the pulse in his throat.
“Look at me, you coward.”
She forced her gaze up to his, and he bent and brushed his mouth over her closed eyes.
“I…I never realized…” She couldn’t find the words. She clung to him, hiding her face against his damp throat.
He turned, holding her warmly against him on the long leather sofa, sighing with exquisite pleasure at the way she held him. “So many lonely nights, Shelby,” he whispered. “So many dreams. But even the dreams weren’t this sweet.” He pulled her closer. “Kiss me, honey.”
She lifted her face to his, obediently putting her swollen lips against his. He trembled and eased her gently onto her back, so that they were completely joined. He looked into her eyes with a dark, soft question in his. She didn’t answer him. She lifted her body against him, and he saw the words in her eyes. He bent, sighing unsteadily, and his mouth opened over her parted lips. He moved down, and she clung, and the world went again into shared oblivion.
He carried her upstairs a long time later, cradling her in his arms like the most precious kind of treasure. He put her into his bed and climbed in beside her, turning off the lights. He curled her against his tired body and sighed with haunted pleasure. She was asleep only seconds before he was.
Shelby felt a kiss brush her lips. “Justin,” she whispered softly and opened her eyes.
He was sitting on the bed beside her, dressed in jeans and a chambray shirt, smiling. “I have to go to work,” he whispered.
“No,” she moaned, reaching up.
He eased the covers away and brought her across him, touching her soft breasts with exquisite tenderness while he kissed her. “We made love,” he whispered.
“Several times,” she whispered back, and then spoiled her new image by flushing furiously.
He nibbled her lips. “I didn’t use anything,” he said quietly, searching her eyes.
The blush got worse. “Neither did I.”
He touched her lips with one lean finger. “I know. Is it going to matter if you get pregnant?” he whispered.
“No,” she moaned. “I want a child with you.”
He caught his breath and bent to kiss her with aching tenderness, pleased beyond words at the way she said it, at the need he felt in himself, in her. “Did you sleep?”
“I’m still asleep,” she whispered at his lips. “I dreamed it all, and I don’t want to wake up.”
“It wasn’t a dream.” He kissed her. “Have I hurt you?”
“Oh, no,” she whispered quickly. “Not at all!”
His dark eyes sketched her face adoringly. “You’ll sleep with me from now on,” he said. “No more walls, no more looking back. We start here, now, together.”
“Yes,” she whispered, sighing, her heart in her eyes. “Don’t go to work.”
“I have to. So do you.” He glowered down at her. “But no more rides with the boss, got that?”
“I’ll call you. I promise.” She reached up and kissed his cheek. “You can’t possibly be jealous after last night.”
His lean hand smoothed her breast. “Don’t kid yourself,” he said softly. “I’ll be ten times as possessive now that I’ve made love to you. You’re mine.”
“I always have been, Justin,” she said quietly, wondering at the way he was looking at her, at the heat of possession in his black eyes. Surely he was sure of her now?
He searched her eyes and then let his gaze run hungrily over her slender body. “Exquisite,” he breathed. “All of you. I’ve never felt anything half as profound in my life as what I felt with you. I feel…whole.”
Her heart skipped a beat, because that was how she felt. But she loved him, and he only wanted her. Or was it possible that he was finally beginning to feel something for her?
“I feel that way, too,” she said.
He smiled. “But you were a virgin, honey,” he mused, brushing his mouth over her nose. “I wasn’t.”
She glared at him. “So I noticed.”
That glare made him feel all man and a yard wide. He bent and nipped her mouth with his teeth, softly arousing. “It was a long time ago, and it has nothing to do with you. For the past six years, I haven’t even kissed another woman, and that’s gospel. You don’t have a damned thing to be jealous of.”
She hugged him fiercely, her head against his bare chest. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” he replied. He kissed her forehead with breathless tenderness. “I’ve got to go,” he groaned. “I don’t want to, but Calhoun’s going to be out of the office all day, and I have to be there.”
“I know.” She rubbed her cheek against him. “Will you drop me off at work?”
“Of course. What do you fancy for breakfast?”
She looked up at him with the answer sparkling in her eyes. He laughed with pure delight, stood up with her in his arms and tossed her into the center of the bed, watching her scramble under the sheet with indulgent amusement.
“Not now,” he murmured drily at the blatant invitation in her eyes, even through her shyness. “Get dressed before all this stoic control melts.”
“Spoilsport,” she said, sighing.
“I don’t want to overdo it,” he said with sudden seriousness. “You’re still new to this. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her eyes softened. “And I was afraid of you.” She shook her head.
“I can understand why. But you won’t need to be ever again.” He turned away, stretching hugely. “God knows how I’ll keep my mind on work, but there’s always tonight,” he added from the doorway with a slow grin. “What do you want for breakfast?” he repeated.
She smiled shyly. “Eggs and bacon.”
“It’ll be waiting.”
He went out, and she got up and got dressed, feeling as if her feet weren’t even touching the floor when she walked.
He was at the table waiting when she got there. She’d put on a simple gray skirt with a pale blue blouse for work, and her hair was in a neat French twist. It was a sedate outfit, which was what she’d meant it to be. Since she knew how possessive Justin was, she didn’t want to spoil their delicate new relationship by making it look as if she was taking special pains with her appearance to go to work.
He looked up when she came into the dining room, and he smiled at the image she projected.
“Very businesslike,” he said with approval. He leaned back in his chair, the action pulling the shirt taut over his hard-muscled chest. He looked devastating that way, with the light shining on his black hair and emphasizing his deep tan. He wasn’t a handsome man, but Shelby thought he was the most attractive man she’d ever seen.
“I’m glad you approve,” she said, smiling at him.
He got up and seated her next to him, pausing
to drop a warm, slow kiss on her mouth. His eyes searched hers, warm and soft and darkly glowing. “Pretty creature,” he whispered. “Eat your eggs before I make a meal out of you.”
She laughed with pure delight and dragged her eyes down to her plate. She could hardly believe the way things had changed in the past few days. Her eyes adored him. He was hers, now. For the first time, she felt really married. Finally they were on their way to a lasting relationship.
The following days emphasized it. She thought about Justin all day at work, and when they got home at night, there were no more arguments, no more barriers. He kissed her coming and going, and every night he made love to her, and she slept in his arms. It was as close to heaven as she’d ever been, like a waking dream that never seemed to sour or end. They spent time together, riding, playing the guitar, watching movies on the VCR. It was a new beginning, and Shelby could almost believe that what they had was perfect.
But even as they drew close physically, even as they spent more time together, Shelby could still feel the emotional distance between them. Justin shared none of his deepest feelings with her. He never spoke of love, even when they were the most intimate. He didn’t talk about the past or the future. It seemed to her as if he was doing his best to take it one day at a time, without bothering about tomorrow.
His reticence worried her. She was as much in love with him now as she had been in the very beginning, but Justin was adept at hiding what he felt. He had a poker face that she’d never been able to see through. He wanted her. That was obvious and delightful. But if there was more than desire in him, Shelby never saw it.
She kept on with her job, even though she knew that Justin wanted her to give it up. He was only fractionally less jealous of her boss, but he didn’t make any more harsh remarks. Meanwhile, Barry Holman had talked Tammy Lester into coming back to work, and things were developing very nicely between them. Shelby expected a breakthrough any day, because they were already exchanging heated looks.
And there was another development at home, too. Over four weeks had passed since Shelby and Justin had been intimate for the first time, and there were growing signs that their intimacy might bear fruit. She hadn’t mentioned her suspicions to him, but she was almost sure that she was pregnant. The thought made her delightfully happy. Having a child with Justin would make her happiness complete, and he’d said himself that he wanted children. It would be the final balm, to heal the breach that existed between them. And when the baby came, Justin might begin to care about her as well as the child.