“I understand,” he says. He taps me on my shoulder. “I’ll see you downstairs in a few minutes.”
I turn back to my desk and finish what I was working on. It’s hard to believe that my year is up. I’ve learned so much and can’t wait to get back home to Beaumont and join my practice again. I know that when I see Josie, I’ll be able to smile at her and wish her a good day. I no longer harbor those types of feelings for her. I finish the letter I’m leaving for my replacement and set down my pen.
With one last look I walk into the great room. My friends are all here to say goodbye. I seek out Aubrey as she extends her hand to mine, linking our fingers together. We’ve been together for three months now. I know it’s not a long time by some standards, but for us it’s enough. Tonight, when we reach London, I’ll finally be able to make love to her. We’ve waited. We’ve been good. And until last night we hid our relationship from our colleagues. We know some suspected, but we kept everything platonic and professional during the daylight hours.
When Aubrey asked me to marry her, I wanted to say no, but then I remembered what it felt like each time Josie said that word and couldn’t do that to her. Unconventional? Yes, but perfect for us.
We walk hand in hand to the center of the room where the pastor is set up. I kiss her hand and look at him, nodding that we’re ready.
“We’re gathered here to celebrate the union of Nicholas and Aubrey…” I look at her, giddy with excitement. She’s going to be my wife and she’s coming back to Beaumont with me. She’s hasn’t decided what she wants to do. I told her I didn’t care, as long as she was with me, it didn’t matter. Secretly, I’m hoping there’s a baby in our future and that she’ll want to stay home and be a mom and if not, so be it. We’ll be together. That’s all that matters.
When I look at her, I know what true love feels like. It’s the butterflies you get every time that person walks into the room or you get a whiff of their perfume from another room. Aubrey does that to me. I knew that night, not so long ago, when I opened up to her that she’d be my wife. If I had to stay here another year to prove it, I would’ve, but I’m thankful she was smart enough for the both of us.
I soon realize I was too focused on watching her that I missed my ceremony. “You may kiss your bride,” the pastor says. I pull her close, my hands cupping her delicate face and press my lips to hers.
“I now give you, Dr. and Mrs. Ashford.”
We raise our hands to the cheering of our friends. We walk down the aisle hand in hand. I pick up our bags and we head to the waiting van. Aubrey gives out hugs while I load our bags. I stand there watching her and thank God every day for her. She showed me the true meaning of love and patience. Maybe I should thank Liam. If he hadn’t shown up, I probably wouldn’t be here today.
I lift my bride into the van and wave at everyone as we head off into the sun to start our next chapter.
Chapter 6
“Good morning.” My lips skim against her bare skin, desperate for her. Since arriving in Beaumont our honeymoon has come to a screeching halt. I suppose living with your new in-laws, ones you’ve never met, sort of kills the mood. I’ve promised her we’d move as soon as we found a place of our own.
“What’s so good about it?” I pull her blanket down, slightly, uncovering more of her. For two weeks I’ve grown accustomed to her sleeping in the nude and now she’s covered in a very offensive tank top. I kiss my way down her body, lifting the hem of her shirt and placing my lips on her back.
“Nick.” She mumbles into her pillow. One thing I learned about Aubrey since being here is that she does not like the cold. At all. Not even in the cute winter jacket my mom picked up for her. I suppose I should’ve warned her before we got married, but honestly the thought never crossed my mind.
I flip her over and attack her lips. This is as far as we can go and it sucks. Falling in love with her in Africa was hard enough, but to have already had her and not be able to touch her, it’s going to be the death of me.
“What do you want to do today?” I trail my lips over her collarbone.
“Don’t you have to work?”
“Doctors don’t work on the weekends.”
Aubrey adjusts under my weight causing more problems. I groan and bury my face in her neck.
“I want to look for an apartment or a house. Something for us to live in as husband and wife because I’m getting really needy.”
I sigh. “I know, me too.” I rise up and look at my wife. I can’t believe that just over a year ago I was arriving in Africa with my tail between my legs and my heart broken. I knew I’d return home, but I didn’t bank on a wife coming back with me. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she pulls me close and kisses me deeply, making me pull away all too soon.
“House hunting it is.” I jump up and get out of bed with my mind set on a cold shower.
“I want to go to that little café on Main Street for lunch. Can we do that?”
It’s a good thing my back is turned because the expression on my face will tell her exactly what my brain is saying. Hell no.
“Sure, babe.” I exit the room as quickly as I can.
I love our Sunday afternoons. Noah goes to the Preston’s and we get to just relax. Today, Josie has a surprise for me. I’ve tried to figure it out, but she’s kept it a secret. Even Katelyn wouldn’t tell me.
Josie drives us to the park. I look at her questioningly; she just shrugs playfully as she gets out of the car. I follow and jog to catch up with her. I reach for her hand, bringing it to my lips. I place a lingering kiss and wish my ring were gracing her finger.
I can’t help but think this is the right moment. The one I’ve been waiting for, but I can’t take any more rejection. I’ve resigned myself to living as her partner and not her husband. It’s not going to be enough, but I’ll find a way to make it work.
Josie leads us to the park bench that faces Main Street. About two years ago the city officials decided to revitalize this area. Wrought iron light poles were installed, a nice fence put up around the park and park benches were added. Across from the park, businesses started rebuilding and redoing their façades, bringing back the old hometown feel. The only problem with it is some couldn’t afford to upgrade and their businesses folded, leaving empty storefronts.
We sit down, her hand in my lap. I love this. I love that we are a couple, raising our son and living a fulfilling life. I don’t need her to have my last name to make us a family. We already are.
“What are we doing here?” I look around and wonder why of all the benches she chose the one facing the dilapidated building.
“What do you see when you look at that building?”
“Ruins.”
“No, Nick, really look at it. What do you see?”
I do as she asks and study the building. It was once a toy store. Mr. Preston told me that he worked there when he was a youngster and that he learned to carve a wooden train from the owner, Mr. W. He said no one knew what the W stood for and no one ever bothered to ask. He died a few years back and didn’t have a family to run the store for him. It’s been empty and falling apart since.
“I see the toy store in its heyday. Kids running to the shop after school to see what new toys Mr. W made.”
“My dad would’ve done that.”
“I know that’s how I can picture it. He tells Noah about what it was like all the time. Tell me, Josie, what do you see?”
Her expression is what I want to see when I ask her to marry me. Her face lights up, her eyes go wide and her grin is from ear to ear. It breaks my heart to know that an empty, broken down store can get the reaction that I so desperately need.
“I see my dream.”
“Your dream?” I don’t mean to sound like an insensitive boyfriend, but this is the first time I’ve heard of a dream.
“I want to open a flower shop in the old toy store and call it Whimsicality.”
“Why?”
Josie looks at m
e and I can’t decipher if she’s pissed off or genuinely concerned that I don’t know the answer to my own question.
“I want to bring the same happiness Mr. W. did to people, but with flowers.”
“Okay.”
“I talked to my dad. He’ll give me the loan to get started and Henry is going to do all the construction at cost.”
I see the way she talks about her dream and know that she’ll be successful. I can see everything taking shape in her mind and in mine. The sheer joy that is showing on her face as she talks about opening a shop is mesmerizing. If this is what she wants to do, we’ll make it happen.
“When do we get started?”
Josie jumps into my lap and wraps her arms tight around my neck. I start to think this could be the moment, but hold back and just enjoy what we are celebrating.
“Nick, are you coming?”
I blink a few times to clear my thoughts. I don’t know what I expected. Maybe I thought the park bench would be gone, or this café never took off. I’m wrong on both accounts. Aubrey has had to drag me down the street since my feet decided they no longer function for their intended purposes.
I thought about telling her that I didn’t feel well and that I needed to rest before returning to work tomorrow, but I owe her this. I can’t expect her to stay cooped up in my parent’s house the whole time. I want Beaumont to be her home and sadly that means I’ll be running into Josie.
“I’ve been dying to try this café since your mom and I drove by it the other day.” Aubrey climbs the three steps that lead to the café. When Josie told me about the expansion I flipped. I thought she only wanted to do it so Liam had a place to play. I told her it was stupid and a waste of money. Looks like I was wrong.
There are only a few chairs available with a line of people at the counter. No music right now, thank God. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw Liam. I know we are going to end up talking sooner or later, but I’m hoping for much later. Actually what I’m hoping for is to find out he’s gone back to L.A. leaving Josie here. At least then I can be in Noah’s life and have a somewhat reasonable relationship with him.
I stand in line behind Aubrey. Josie has created one large space, combining the flower shop and the coffee shop into one. I look around for Jenna, but don’t find her. I always liked her. She was real good to Josie when we were dating.
“Why are you so fidgety?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes you are. Here give me a kiss.” Aubrey pulls me down, not afraid of public displays of affection. I pull away from her when I hear a throat clearing. I look up and instantly wish I was back in Africa.
I wish I had a mirror so I could see what my face looks like because Josie’s face is impassive. I look from her to Aubrey, who is oblivious to what is going on and back at Josie who smiles softly as if she’s greeting the next customer.
Aubrey steps forward and places her order. Josie is calm, respectful, but I can see the questions swirling in her mind. I know what she’s thinking and for some reason it bothers me. Why is it okay for her to move on, but I can’t? I see the ring on her finger, the one I so fiercely tried to cover. I notice her eyes as they travel down my hand and then over to Aubrey’s. We wear simple wedding bands nothing flashy and eye-popping, but enough for us and the moment when we said our vows. She doesn’t show any sign of recognition. No annoyance or happiness.
“What can I get for you, Nick?” I thought that hearing her voice for the first time in over a year would bring back the pain I felt when I left, but it doesn’t. My heart isn’t aching and threatening to burst out of my chest. I’m not remembering the night I left or the life I left behind. The shared kisses and romantic moments that we had aren’t flooding my conscious. I look down at my wife and know that I’ve married my soul mate. I kiss her on the nose, thankful that I made the decision – the right one for me – and married her. “Just black, Josie.”
The recollection of our long heart-felt conversations is evident on Aubrey’s face. I’m not sure what to expect. We didn’t talk about my life back here and what it would mean when we came face to face with my past.
Aubrey turns and extends her hand to Josie. I watch as my former love and my forever love shake hands. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Josie’s face deadpans and as much as I want to laugh I know she’s thinking the most horrible things. “I’m sure you have.” Josie glances away and busies herself with our order.
“Nick wouldn’t say anything bad about you. He has the utmost respect for you.”
Josie dips her head slightly. I know she’s having a hard time believing Aubrey. I probably have every right to sling her name, but I didn’t and I won’t. We are adults and things happen. Am I upset, yes, not because we aren’t together, but because I’ve lost Noah?
“I’ll bring over your coffee,” she says as she disappears behind the large coffee machine.
I guide Aubrey to a table and pull out her chair. When I sit, I inspect the café. Needless to say, I’m shocked. When Josie bought this run-down space I never expected we’d be able to make her dream come true. Only days after opening Whimsicality she has a line out the door and down the street all just to buy flowers. The four of us, Mason, Katelyn, Josie and I, worked night and day to get this place up and running. I took a week off – our planned vacation to Disneyworld canceled – to help open the store. I should’ve been more accepting when she came home with her expansion plans, but we all know how I felt about those.
I’m happy for her. I’m happy for me.
“Are you going to ask her?”
Aubrey snaps me out of my musing. “Ask her what?”
“If you can see Noah.”
“No.” I pull out a packet of sugar and fiddle with it.
Aubrey places her hand gently on mine. I move mine ever so slightly so I can hold her hand. “Noah is the one person you talked about daily. You need this, Nick. You need to see him and tell him that you’re sorry for just leaving.”
“I don’t know. She has no reason to let me see him.”
“Just ask.”
I don’t respond because Josie is making her way toward us. She sets down our coffee and an assortment of pasties.
“On the house,” she plasters on a smile and I can’t tell if it’s fake or not.
Aubrey kicks my leg. I scowl at her, but the look she’s giving me is much worse. I have a feeling if I don’t do as she suggests, I’m in for it.
I look at Josie, who is observing the both of us. I can’t maintain eye contact with her. I don’t know what I’ll do if I see the negative look in her eyes when I ask.
“Can I see Noah?”
Chapter 7
I want to take the words back as soon as I’ve said them. I should’ve waited. Asking her today, the first day that she knows I’m back in town, is probably not the best idea. I’m afraid to look at her for fear that the answer is written all over her face. I’m not sure I can handle this rejection. I need to see him, apologize for my actions, and ask for his forgiveness. He’s by far the most important person in my life, aside from Aubrey, and I want to have any semblance of a relationship I can with him. I think I’m at least owed that.
Josie takes a step back. My eyes are on her now, waiting for her reaction. She looks around the shop, smiling at the patrons that have just walked in. She hangs her head. Is she ashamed?
“This isn’t a conversation for here, Nick.”
“Where can this conversation take place?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“Yeah, well I wasn’t expecting a lot of things, but life has a funny way of determining its own path.” I try to hide the sarcasm in my voice. Deep down, I know she had no choice when it came to Liam. I just wanted to hope that I was enough for her.
“Where are you staying?”
I want to shout ‘in the house we shared’ but I bite my tongue. That was always her house. I just squatted in it for years.
“We’ve been staying at my parents, but we just rented a loft across from the park.”
Josie looks out the window. I know she can see the loft from here. This is what Aubrey wants and I’m not going to deny her.
“When are you moving in?”
“We’ll be in by next weekend.”
Josie nods. “What if Liam and I come over to your place. We’ll bring dinner and we can all sit down and talk about what’s best for Noah.”
I look to Aubrey who nods. I’ll never thank her enough for being supportive of me having a relationship with another woman’s son.
“My number hasn’t change. Why don’t you hash out the details with Liam and call me.”
“Okay.” Josie leaves and tends to her other customers. In the past, I’d watch her walk way. Let my eyes linger on her body longer than necessary, but not now. With one last glance at her retreating form, I shake my head. Aubrey’s thumb caresses over the top of my hand.
“You did well.”
“I feel like an idiot. I’m setting myself up.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Liam and I are anything but friends. He has no reason to let me see his son.”
Aubrey leans over the table. I meet her half way and kiss her lightly. “Everyone is reasonable, you just have to believe.”
I want to tell her she’s wrong that not everyone is reasonable, especially Liam Westbury or Page, whatever he goes by now. I also need to find the right moment to tell her that I hate the tank top that she sleeps in and that she’s about the meet the lead singer of the band that adorns her chest at night. I didn’t know she was a fan until we got here. I suppose ‘who’s your favorite band’ was a topic of conversation we should’ve had in Africa. Not a conversation I’m excited to have.
We hold hands as we walk down the street. Aubrey huddles close to me, cold. I feel bad for her and know that we need to hit the mall and buy her some more functional clothes. The stuff she bought with my mother is too… fashionable or maybe she just needs to get used to the cold. I mean, it’s not that cold, but it is when you’ve lived in the scorching heat your whole life. I wrap my arm around her, hoping to provide more body heat.
My Everything Page 4