I repented for all the times I had told God I wanted a man like Jason. Sweet, sensitive, dedicated to his family, dedicated to his job, and conscientious. And we won’t mention fine.
I forced myself to concentrate. Even though it wasn’t as bad as I’d told Jason, I did need to get some serious work done. I had a deadline creeping up on me for a show idea for the next pitch meeting. I tried to focus for a few minutes, but the lingering scent of his cologne was a huge distraction.
My assistant popped her head in the door. “Going to get lunch. What you want?” She closed her eyes and sniffed. “Ummm, Jason was just here?”
I laughed. “Yeah, girl. He does leave a scent behind, doesn’t he?” I tried to look normal, like that same scent wasn’t about to drive me out my mind.
She walked into my office and sat down in the chair Jason had just occupied. “Ooh, girl. I don’t see how you stand it. I could not have that man up in my face all day.” She closed her eyes and took another deep whiff.
“Girl, you are too silly,” I said. I really wanted to tell her to stop sniffing up all my Jason air.
She put a finger to her lips. “You know, you and Jason would make the perfect couple. You should go out with him.” She nodded. “Yeah, you guys would be great together.”
“Ummm, hello. Earth to Erika. Has the cologne killed off your brain cells? That man is married. You know I don’t roll like that.”
Erika stood, stuck her head out my door, looked both ways then shut my door and sat back down in the chair. “Michelle, where have you been? Jason’s wife left him over a year ago. His divorce was final eight months ago.”
My eyes flew open. “Jason’s wife left him? He’s divorced?” My heart started to flutter. “What! How do you know that?”
Erika squinted her eyes. “Everybody knows that. She left him for some Atlanta Falcons rich dude. He was all messed up. Don’t you remember when he took that sudden vacation last year and came back looking a mess? Everybody was joking that he needed a vacation after his vacation. For months after that, he was looking crazy every day for a while. How did you miss all that?”
I scratched my head. I did remember his vacation last year and him coming back looking worse than I’d ever seen him. He blew off my concern by saying that he should have gotten more rest.
“How could all this happen and me not know about it?”
I felt like a bad friend. Jason had been going through pure hell, and I hadn’t been there for him. In fact, I had pulled on him to help me solve my little problems here at work when he was experiencing a man’s worst nightmare.
Then again, we weren’t friends. We were co-workers who were careful about observing professional boundaries. Still, seems like I would have noticed something.
“I can’t believe you didn’t know all this. I guess y’all really do be working like you say when y’all be all huddled up in the edit suite for hours, huh?”
I raised an eyebrow at Erika’s suggestion that something improper was going on while Jason and I were working behind closed doors. Maybe we needed to keep the door open or something.
“So, are you gonna scoop him up?” Erika was almost salivating. “Talk about a great catch.”
I shook her suggestion out of my head. “Girl, don’t be silly. That would never work. First of all, we work together, and it would be unprofessional. Second, he’s fresh out of divorce court and needs some time to heal and put this all behind him before he even thinks about another woman. Third of all—”
“Okay, you keep adding to your list of reasons. In the meantime, some other smart woman will snatch him up, and you’ll be sitting next to me at his wedding. Men ain’t like women. Women get divorced and spend a year or two in therapy and crying to their girlfriends. Men find them a new woman and get remarried. They can’t handle being alone after they been married. Their primary goal is to fill that spot so they can get on with their life.”
I shook my head, more to get rid of the thought than to say no. “Erika, you know how the boss lady is. She strongly frowns on intimate relationships between co-workers.”
“So.” She sucked her teeth. “That didn’t stop Randy from knocking up Brittany, now did it? And quiet as it’s kept, everybody knows Richard and Sheryl are kicking it. So, you need to go ’head and get yours.”
“That’s different. Randy is a free-lancer. Brittany is an administrative assistant. And Richard and Sheryl aren’t upper level. They’re under the radar. Ain’t nobody paying attention to them.” I lowered my voice a little. “And you know the deal. I want this promotion, more than anything. I can’t afford to mess up.”
Erica nodded slowly. “I guess so.” She took another deep whiff of my Jason air. “Whatever, girl. You can get a new job. Where you gon’ find another Jason Hampton? He is truly one of a kind. Sleep if you want to. I guarantee we’ll be at Jason’s wedding within a year. Now whether you’ll be carrying the bouquet or catching the bouquet is up to you.”
Erika took one final sniff, got up and left my office. As she closed my door, I heard her humming the wedding march, “Dum da da dum. Dum da da dum.”
I looked back at my computer screen at my treatment, begging to be finished. Yeah, right. Like there was any way I could concentrate for the rest of the afternoon with this new bit of information.
I clenched my teeth, grabbed my mouse and scrolled up to the last thing I had written.
Reality television is the latest trend in programming . . .
Jason was divorced. Jason was no longer married and unavailable. Jason was single.
Viewers enjoy it because of the “anybody-can-be-famous” factor . . .
Jason is gorgeous. Jason is smart. Jason is sweet. Jason smells good.
This show would highlight individuals who are . . .
Jason is saved and attends church regularly. Jason keeps a Bible in his desk drawer that I’ve seen him take out and read on many occasions.
I had to concentrate. There was too much riding on this show. It could be the key to my promotion into a position where I had more input about programming. I decided to answer the nagging voice in my head.
Jason is freshly divorced. Jason is three years younger than you. You NEED this promotion.
Unfortunately, none of my thoughts overpowered the scent of his cologne still hanging in the air.
I pushed back from my desk and marched to the restroom down the hall. I grabbed the air freshener off the little shelf, concealed it in my suit jacket and marched back to my office. Once I got inside, I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed until I was sure there was no remnants of Jason left behind.
Of course, that was too much. My eyes watered, and I started choking. I tried to catch my breath, but every time I inhaled, my lungs filled up with the chemicals.
I stepped into the hallway, coughing. Erika looked up from her desk. I was sure I looked crazy—tears flowing from my eyes, stooped over wheezing, trying to get some fresh air.
She came running over and pounded me on the back. “What’s wrong with you?”
I waved her away. “I’m fine,” I gasped.
“You’re not fine. Are you choking on a peppermint? Do I need to do the Heimlich?”
“Really, I’m okay.” I tried to stand up and look normal. I took a deep breath and set off another coughing fit.
Erika took me by the arm and headed toward my office. I was creating a stir in the hallway.
“No,” I croaked.
She stepped inside and attempted to pull me in. Instantly, her eyes started watering, and she started coughing. “What the . . . ?”
We both stumbled back into the hallway, in coughing fits.
“Why did you”—Erika’s question was cut off by a cough. “Why in the world would you”—She coughed again.
I shook my head, not even trying to answer.
She walked toward the break room and waved for me to follow. When we got there, she grabbed a cup and filled it with water. She handed it to me, then poured another. We both dr
ank. The coughing died down.
“Why in the world did you empty a can of air freshener in your office?” Erika looked around and leaned in close to whisper. “You had a bean burrito for breakfast again?”
I laughed. “No, silly.” I took a big sip of water, crumpled my cup and threw it away. I walked back toward my office to avoid answering her question. But before I got out the door, I knew I was busted.
“Oh,” I heard her exclaim. “Oh, uh-huh. I get it.”
As I walked down the hallway, Erika broke into song again. “Dum da da dum. Dum da da dum.”
Somehow I knew that stupid song would be in my head the rest of the day, as would the nagging thought—Jason Hampton was single and available.
four
Angela, Lisa, Nicole, and Vanessa sat around the table staring at me, waiting for me to spill it. My stupid list.
We were at Nicole’s for girls’ night. Her luxury penthouse condo in Buckhead pretty much said everything one needed to know about her. The two-bedroom palace felt like something a celebrity should live in. High ceilings, hardwood floors, a small, sexy kitchen with stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops and recessed lighting made us feel like we were cosmopolitan girls in a scene from Sex and the City. We crowded around her small breakfast table.
Nicole never cooked. She always picked up something from one of her “she-she-pooh-pooh” restaurants with elegantly named foods that exercised the taste buds, things like goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes, and spices like rosemary, dill, and cilantro.
Nicole set out some glasses and pulled a bottle of San Pellegrino out of the refrigerator. I frowned. I knew it was supposed to be chic and all, but I never understood why she paid so much money for some sour-tasting fizzy water.
Angela poured herself a glass and squeezed a lemon wedge into it. Lisa did the same. I gave Nicole a look, and she pulled me a bottle of Dasani out of the refrigerator. Vanessa held out her hand, indicating that she wanted one, too.
“Well,” Lisa said, “tell us about Mr. Wonderful.”
All eyes were on me. I felt ridiculous, but I knew they weren’t going to let me out of it.
I flapped my piece of paper and cleared my throat. “To begin with, the essential must-have’s.” I twisted the cap off my water and scanned my short list. “He has to be a man of God, completely submitted to God, in love with God and all about God. I think that shrinks my choices to a very small pool right from the jump.”
Vanessa frowned. I couldn’t tell if she disagreed with my statement, or whether she didn’t like the appetizer tray Nicole placed on the table. “I wouldn’t say that. There’re plenty of godly men out there.” She looked over at Lisa. “And they’re not all married.” She looked at me again. “Remember, let’s not be negative about this.”
I nodded. “Okay, number two—he needs to be financially stable. He doesn’t have to be rich or anything, although I wouldn’t send him packing if he was. But he has to be able to manage finances. Third, he has to be a good father to his kids or potential father to my future kids.”
Lisa’s eyes widened. “You’d marry a man that already has kids?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m trying to be realistic. I’m thirty-five years old. I’m not sure of the likelihood of me finding a man without kids.”
“Yeah, but you’re supposed to be putting what you want, not what you’d put up with because you think you’d have to.”
I thought for a minute. “I love kids, though. I feel crazy that I don’t already have some. So, if he has some, that would be okay with me.”
Lisa shook her head and gave me a look of pity. “Clearly you’ve never dated a man with kids. You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d ever dealt with some crazy baby mama drama.” She looked around the table for someone to agree with her.
Angela was her usual quiet self, and sat munching on one of the funny-looking appetizers from the tray. Vanessa shrugged like she had no idea what Lisa was talking about.
Nicole shrugged too. “I’ve dated men with kids. Let me remember.” She scrunched her eyebrows and thought for a moment. “None of them had full custody. One of them had a cool relationship with his child’s mother, so it was never an issue. Wait a minute—they were too cool, and it was an issue, because they ended up getting back together.” Nicole frowned. “And the other, his ex-wife had moved out to California, so he didn’t get to see his kids often.”
Lisa grabbed a couple of appetizers from the tray. “All I’m saying is I’ve dealt with enough baby mama drama and bad Bebe kids that my list requires that a man have no children.”
We all looked at Lisa like she was crazy.
“No children? As in, kids are a deal-breaker?” Vanessa asked.
She nodded.
“Ummm, Lisa, you’re thirty-eight years old,” I said. “What are the chances?”
“It’s possible. Look, I believe in telling God what I want, then trusting Him to bring it.” She folded her arms resolutely, as if there were no further discussion on the issue.
Nicole rolled her eyes. “I thought Michelle had a disconnect with reality. Anyway, Michelle, how many kids would you put up with?”
Vanessa frowned.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m guessing no more than two. Or if they’re grown and gone, he can have as many children as he wants. Or if he’s a great guy with three well-behaved children, I could see dealing with that. It depends on the situation.”
“Okay, that’s fair. What else?” Vanessa asked.
I had tried to wait, but I was starving. I picked up an appetizer—a weird, triangle-shaped, breaded thing with some type of filling. “He has to be intelligent, so we can have great engaging conversations.” I took a bite. Wasn’t bad. Tasted like teriyaki something.
“College-educated, professional degree?” Angela finally joined in the conversation.
“Uh, I guess. I mean, I would think he would need a college degree to be intelligent enough to keep up with me.”
“What if he didn’t, though? What if he never went to college, but is a smart guy who reads books all the time, and learned everything in the school of hard knocks?” Angela leaned forward, as if challenging me with the question.
“I never thought of that,” I said. “I guess I wouldn’t require a college degree, if he was smart enough.”
“Are you sure about that? Like, would you date a bus driver or a cook or construction worker?”
I always wondered what made Angela decide to talk. She’d sit silent for up to an hour sometimes then, suddenly, something would interest her and she’d come from that private little world of hers and become totally engaged.
“Sure. As long as he’s intelligent, well-rounded, and godly.”
“Yeah, right.” Lisa gave me that look of hers again. “You would date a construction worker? You would date a man that makes less money than you?”
All of us stared at Lisa. I said, “Ummm, yeah. Once again, I’m trying to be realistic. I make a nice bit of money and plan on making much more. It’s possible that I’ll make more than him. As long as he’s not insecure and can handle it, I’m cool.”
Lisa shook her head. “Call me old-fashioned. I think a man should make more money than a woman.”
Nicole opened her mouth with disbelief. She started to say something, but then shook her head.
“What?” Lisa asked, as if she didn’t sound completely ridiculous.
Vanessa looked at Lisa as if she had new understanding about her singlehood. “What else, Michelle?”
“That’s about it. I’m not too hard to please,” I said in Lisa’s direction.
“That’s all?” Nicole asked. “What does Mr. Right look like?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not particular about looks. It’s more of what’s on the inside of a man that matters to me.”
Nicole chuckled. “Really, now?”
“Yeah. I mean, he should be pretty all right-looking, I guess. I can’t see finding a perfect man who’s godly, int
elligent, financially stable and great father material and rejecting him because he might have a few extra pounds around his waist or because he doesn’t look like Taye Diggs.”
Vanessa nibbled on a teriyaki triangle and then said, “So if he was three inches shorter than you and weighed four hundred pounds, you’d love him just the same?”
I winced. “Uh, I guess.”
Angela broke her silence again. “That’s what you think now—that you’re not shallow enough to be concerned about a guy’s looks. Just wait until you date someone and he’s not the cutest in the world. All of a sudden, everyone else will look cute and sexy, and he’ll look uglier and uglier to you.”
Everyone turned to look at Angela.
“What? I’m being honest. I know I’m not the prettiest girl in the world and don’t have the most outgoing personality, but still, I want a guy that I find attractive. He may not be a model, but I need to think he’s cute.”
Vanessa put on her concerned therapist face. “You don’t think you’re pretty, Angela?”
“I don’t have a Halle Berry face and Beyoncé body like Nicole. And I don’t have perfect skin, a great smile and exciting hair like Michelle. And I’m certainly not a model like Lisa. Like Michelle said, I’m trying to be realistic. A guy I can pull won’t be as cute as what any of them could pull.”
Now we all had concerned looks on our faces.
“Angela, you’re pretty. What are you talking about?” Nicole looked almost disgusted.
“Yeah. Okay. Let’s face it. I’m a pretty nerd,” Angela said.
“Well, there has got to be some fine nerds out there. We’ll just have to find you one.” Nicole leaned over and hugged Angela.
Angela laughed and pushed Nicole away. “A fine nerd?” She thought about it for a second. “Okay, I could do that.”
We all laughed.
“Well, I ain’t gon’ lie.” Lisa put her hands on her hips. “I want me a fine man. He has to be at least six-three, athletic and chiseled, great face, nice skin, nice hair or shiny bald. We’ll be one of those stunning couples with beautiful children.”
The List Page 4