As I was still sitting on the side of the bed, Adam quickly donned protection, then gently pushed my torso so that I fell back on the bed, with my legs hanging over the side. Adam then lifted my legs so that the backs of my calves were resting on his shoulders, and quickly thrust into me, building the tension mercilessly until I broke on a wave of pleasure, crying out his name. Adam soon found his release, and collapsed on top of me, saying “Sarah, you are full of surprises”.
The rest of the evening passed like the afternoon, with us discovering different positions, but all of them led us to the same pleasures. Some time in the evening we fell asleep. I woke once in the night and rolled towards him, rubbing my knee against his manhood, until the rising shaft woke him up. Unlike the previous night, after that last effort, Adam slept the deep sleep of the truly exhausted, and so did I.
Just as the night was giving way to the grey light of dawn, I suddenly awoke, and realized that I would have to make my way to my stateroom in either my swim things, which were probably still damp as they hadn’t been hung up properly to dry, or in Adam’s sweat pants and t-shirt. My movements must have woken Adam up, as he sleepily opened his eyes.
“Shhh”, I said, “Go back to sleep, you’ve earned it. I want to shower and change for our day in Suva today, and I don’t want to walk through the ship when everyone else is out and about. It’s still early, so I am going to borrow your clothes and go back to my stateroom. Meet you for breakfast?”
At Adam’s sleepy nod I left the bedroom and put on his clothes from last night, that were still in a pile on the floor. Surveying myself in the mirror, I decided that I would be uncomfortable walking around in the t-shirt without a bra. I checked the bathroom and found that my sarong, being a lighter material, had dried, and so I wound it around my neck like a scarf, leaving the ends trailing down my front. I grabbed the rest of my things and walked back to the stateroom as quickly as I could, considering that I had a very pleasant but persistent ache between my legs. I had been using muscles and areas of my body more in the last two days than in my entire life, and they were protesting!
I lingered in the shower, and then dressed in a light sundress, as I thought Suva would probably be as hot and steamy as Denarau had been. I rinsed out my swim things and hung them up over the cord in my bathroom so that they could dry properly. This tiny chore done (I was really going to miss not having to do any housework when it was time to go home) I grabbed my room card, my bag and my camera bag and headed to breakfast.
While I was waiting for Adam, Judy and Tom arrived. Judy then queried where Adam was and I said that he was on his way. Just then Adam turned the corner, and so we all went in to breakfast together. We were seated at a booth for four, and Adam and I sat together, with Judy and Tom opposite. During the meal, Judy was watching us closely and I knew she was trying to work out what had changed in our relationship, but I wasn’t ready to share that information!
After breakfast we all walked to the gangway together. As Suva is a large city with a working port, large ships can pull in to the dock area, and tenders aren’t necessary. As we left the air-conditioned environment of the ship, the heat hit me, confirming that I had been right to wear light clothing.
17.
We walked down the gangway, I was trying to walk normally. As no-one was looking at me oddly, I thought that maybe I felt more uncomfortable than I actually looked. Adam noticed though, and had the grace to look a little sheepish. I smiled at him to show that I didn’t mind, and gave him a little wink to show that I was in fact expecting a repeat performance that evening!
The four of us fell in step and wandered around the city for a few hours, enjoying a couple of parks that we found and indulging in a little more shopping – I bought a new sarong for myself so that I would have a spare. We stopped for drinks a couple of times, as the humidity was quite taxing. We avoided the dock area, as there was a market adjacent to it, and the smells emanating from the market were quite overpowering. Soon enough it was early afternoon, and all four of us agreed that it was time to return to the ship to refresh ourselves. As we walked back to the dock area, we noticed a commotion at the security gates. Adam had moved slightly to the front of me to allow someone to pass, so he was the first to arrive and to see what was going on. He stopped so suddenly that I cannoned in to him with a little yelp of surprise. The noise must have attracted the attention of the woman who was arguing with the security officials, as she turned towards us, a scowl on her beautiful face.
Suddenly she broke out into a smile and launched herself towards us:
“Adam! You have no idea how glad I am to see you! I have flown all the way from Australia on an awful flight with crying children all around me - eight hours of hell just to see you – only to be stopped at the gate by this bozo who told me he couldn’t let me on the ship as I am not a passenger! But my name is on the passenger list isn’t it? You did make a booking for us?”
I was shocked at this, and at this statement I noticed a pile of baggage at the side of the security gate. Was this crazy woman actually expecting to board the ship part way through the cruise? And how did she know Adam’s name anyway?
“What are you doing here Lisa?” Adam ground out tightly. “I thought we said everything we needed to say back in Melbourne”.
As Adam’s voice had risen a notch during his statement, people were starting to stop and stare at the little scene that was unfolding, Judy and Tom looked very puzzled, and a little horrified. I suddenly felt the world spinning around me as I realized who this woman was – Lisa was the name of the woman who had dumped Adam, obviously she in her opinion it was not over. Surely she was wrong? Now she was looking at me, her eyes narrowing.
“Adam, who is this? Don’t tell me you couldn’t be on your own, so found some dupe to warm your bed for you?”
I felt so tiny, with my private business being so publically aired, and I was waiting for Adam to step forward and tell Lisa that she was wrong, that I was important to him. Adam looked at me, pain in his face, and said:
“Sarah, we need to talk, but this isn’t the place. I need to deal with Lisa, and you deserve better than to have our business gossiped about in public. Meet me at my suite in an hour will you?”
He said something else I think, but all I saw was Lisa’s smug smile, and the interested looks of everyone around us. I vaguely felt Judy grab my arm, and letting me lean on her a little, guiding me through the security gate towards the gangway. After passing through ship security on board, I turned to Judy, with tears forming in my eyes, and she said:
“Shush now. I don’t know what is going on, but I know what I see. I have no idea what happened before he boarded, but I am sure he cares for you now, no matter what that trollop might say. Go and freshen up, and talk to him later. Make sure he tells you everything though. Do you want any help or are you going to be ok?”
I shook my head at Judy, glanced at Tom helplessly – the poor man looked embarrassed and a little angry – and fled to my stateroom. After slamming the door behind me, I threw myself down on the bed and gave vent to a storm of tears. It had happened again – a man had chosen another woman over me while on holiday! But this time it was so much worse. Even though I had been married to Nathan, I knew know that I never really loved him and it was only my pride and self image that had been harmed. How did I know that I could not have loved Nathan? Because I knew now that what I felt for Adam was really what it felt to be in love, and I didn’t know how I was going to get through this if he chose to return to Lisa.
I must have fallen asleep after howling my eyes out, as I woke feeling foggy and disoriented. Where was I? What had happened? With a gasp, I remembered. As I stood, I realized that the ship was moving. It must be later than I thought. Why had Adam not come to see me? Then I realized, that he had never been to my stateroom. But surely he could have called reception, given them my surname, and they would have called me? I went into the bathroom and stared at my reflection in despair. My eyes were red and s
wollen, mascara had run all down my cheeks, my hair was messed up from a restless sleep. I repaired the damage as best as I could, and changed into fresh clothes, determined to do battle if Lisa was in Adam’s stateroom, and make him explain himself. I marched to Adam’s stateroom and knocked at the door. No response. I knocked again. No response. I put my ear to the door, feeling a bit like a stalker, but couldn’t hear anything.
“Can I help you?” asked a voice behind me, causing me to spin around in fright.
“Oh, I just wanted to speak to Adam, do you know if he is in?” I asked the steward, who was looking at me with curiosity.
“Didn’t you hear?” the steward asked me, “Before we sailed, the bridge paged Mister Adam over and over. He didn’t show up, he missed the ship and we had to sail or we would have missed the tide”.
Something of my shock must have shown in my face, and he said:
“Is there anything I can do for you? Do you know why Mister Adam didn’t come back to the ship from Suva?”
I shook my head and hurriedly walked off, stifling my sob of despair. No, I didn’t know, but I could guess. Adam had missed the ship in Suva because Lisa had talked him into staying. He had chosen her over me, and who could blame him? She was beautiful. She was everything I was not, tall, blonde and classically beautiful, and despite what he had told me, maybe he really did love her and I was just a rebound fling? I ran the rest of my way to my room, and cried all night for being such a fool to believe that such a funny and handsome man would ever pick me over someone like Lisa.
18.
And so passed the first day at sea. I spent the entire day in my room, crying, both for my stupidity, and for the fanciful future I had begun to imagine, that now would never become reality. In between bouts of tears and self recriminations, I slept fitfully. Towards evening, hunger drove me out to the buffet. I could not face getting room service, as it would remind me of that last night with Adam. Nor could I go to the restaurant, as that too would remind me of the meals I had shared with Adam. So I threw something (I don’t remember what) on a plate, and found a quiet table in a corner to eat where I could shove the food in my face without having to make eye contact with anyone, as I was sure that my face was obviously a face that had been crying all day. I ate hurriedly then returned to my stateroom. I had no sooner walked in the door, and noticing that the towel animal was a swan tonight, and that there were three chocolates on the pillow, than there was a knock at the door. I whirled around to open it, and was disappointed to see Eduardo, instead of Adam. I don’t know how Adam could possibly have been on the ship when it had been at sea all day, but hope is a foolish thing. Eduardo had a little dish in his hand with some chocolates, and asked if he had left any as he couldn’t remember. When I told him that he had, he said that I could keep them anyway as he couldn’t take them back to storage, and asked if there was anything else he could do for me. I thanked him and said no, and when I shut my door, I ripped into the chocolates and scoffed them all. This would not do, if I kept this up I would never fit back into that bikini!
The next day started out much the same, then at some point in the day I came to the conclusion that Adam should not have done this to me. I may have been quick to assume that Adam could be attracted to me, but he had certainly encouraged my assumptions. So during the day, I steeled myself, put on sunglasses to hide my eyes, and ventured out. As luck would have it, I ran into Judy before long. She pulled me to a quiet seat in a window.
“Now, I am not going to pry, because if you want anyone to know, you will tell people in your own time, but I want to be sure you are ok,” she started.
I assured her that I was, at which she breathed a big sigh of relief.
“When I heard them paging him, I thought to myself, what a louse, and you are well rid of him. I thought he was a nice guy, but clearly I was wrong, and obviously he hurt you, which makes me really angry!” she continued.
Just then, a couple of passengers walked past us, and seeing me, whispered to each other and tittered. I started to get up, but Judy stayed me with a hand on my arm.
“Don’t you worry about small minded people”, she said loudly enough for them to hear. “They are just bored and have nothing better to do. Perhaps they should mind their own business, you are much better than they are”. Judy turned her head as she made the last statement, angling herself so that her words would follow those people down the passageway. She then turned back to me. “So, what are you doing when the ship docks, are you going home, do you have a good friend with a shoulder you can cry on?”
I managed a mirthless laugh at this.
“Yes, I do. The friend who was supposed to come on the cruise with me will most certainly work out something is wrong, and she is relentless. I may as well tell her straight away that I had a failed romance on board, because she won’t stop nagging me until she finds out anyway”.
“Good”, said Judy, “It sounds like she is just what you need. Now, Tom and I are hosting a barbeque at our house on the Saturday after we get home, as some of our friends are thinking about going on a cruise, so wanted to catch up with us and ask what it was like. You bring your friend, we would like to meet her, and we want to keep in touch with you. I won’t take no for an answer, you know. Here is our address”, and she wrote her address on the back of a drink coaster and handed it to me. “Come at five, and you don’t have to bring anything unless you want to drink something other than beer, wine and soft drink, because we will have plenty of that”.
She then checked her watch and said “Come one, just time to make trivia if we hurry”. At my attempt to demur she said “You don’t want to let any man spoil your fun. Tom has been worrying about you all night, he watches too many drama shows. He was convinced you were going to jump off your balcony or something. It was all I could do to stop him calling the Captain, I knew you were stronger than that. But if you don’t come with me and show him yourself that you are still with us, he is not going to let me rest!”
I gave into Judy’s good natured and well meaning gentle bullying and went to trivia. She was right. I had nothing and nobody to hide from, I had done nothing wrong and had nothing to be ashamed of. Tom did look relieved when I appeared, bless him. It was good to know that even though my romance had failed, I had at least made two new friends. For some reason, whether it was because I wasn’t distracted by a warm, sexy body next to me, we managed to win trivia again, and walked out to lunch with our dinky coin purse prizes.
Somehow for the next couple of days, I seemed to gravitate towards the company of Judy and Tom. I did tell Judy a little of how Adam and I had met, but of course left out a lot of details. Judy was amazed that we had presented so well as a couple from day one – she said that she was normally such a good judge of character and was amazed that she had read Adam so wrong. I don’t know how much of what Judy said was said in an attempt to make me feel better, but Judy’s gentle barbs at Adam’s expense were just what I needed to hear. She did not say a lot, but she did manage to soothe my hurt feelings a little.
I also noticed that I seemed to be getting a lot of chocolates on my pillow each night. Eduardo was also frequently checking in with me so see if I needed anything, far more than he had done before. I had some suspicions that perhaps Judy or Tom may have asked Eduardo to look after me, as I knew from observations of the crew that they were too busy to spend so much time on one passenger, but it felt good to know that someone was concerned about my welfare.
On the morning of the day we arrived in Sydney, I woke very early. I had gone to bed early, after hearing what the arrangements for disembarking were. Passengers were instructed to keep only what they needed for the morning in their carry on bags, and to put their suitcases outside their doors the evening before. These would be stored, and delivered to the baggage hall for collection the next morning. Passengers would leave the ship in groups when called, and collect their cases as they passed through the baggage hall. So I found myself in my room with only what I needed
for that night and the next morning, and the bottles of alcohol I had purchased earlier in the cruise that had been delivered to my stateroom as promised. As I hadn’t felt like going to the goodbye show in the theatre with Judy and Tom, I had said my goodbyes and gone to bed early.
Now I was lying awake, wondering if maybe I had misjudged Adam. What if he had a good reason for missing the ship? Would he be at Circular Quay waiting for me? I had to admit that I was really hoping that was true, and although I found myself in the predawn light taking up a position on the open upper deck, camera at ready ostensibly to take photos of the harbour, I was hoping that if I trained the long lens on Circular Quay, I would see Adam there.
I took some beautiful photos of Sydney waking up, various boats and ferries moving about the waters, the Opera House and Bridge looming closer, but try as I might, I could not see Adam anywhere. After the ship docked, I went down to breakfast, then to my stateroom for a last check of all the drawers and cupboards. I opened the safe to retrieve my passport and phone, realizing that the phone had gone flat because I had left it on when I put it in the safe all those days ago. I found Eduardo in the hall, thanked him for his hard work looking after me and tipped him very generously before disembarking for the last time. I collected my luggage in the luggage hall, and made my declarations to the customs official. I walked outside and dragged my bags the short distance to the hotel that Emily and I had chosen which was only a short distance away in The Rocks. My heart was heavy, as it was obvious that my wish was not to come true, Adam would not appear.
Sarah's Journey Page 8