by Raina Wilde
Suddenly, Josh noticed that Lori was waiting at the bus stop. She shouldn’t have to ride the bus home, when he was perfectly capable of driving her. He jogged over to where she stood and offered her a ride, which she instantly rejected. After much persuasion, upon him forcing her to admit that the bus was usually late, Lori agreed to allow Josh to drive her home.
When they pulled up to the apartment Josh placed the rental car in park and turned to face Lori. He had no idea what to say, but he would do anything to have a few more moments with her.
“How long you been here?” He gestured at the apartment building but never looked away from her green eyes. Lori paused for a long time before answering. Finally, she closed her eyes and spoke.
“Four years.” Her voice was barely a whisper. At first he thought that he had heard her wrong. Four years? That would mean that she was living here almost immediately after graduation.
“How long were you at…” He failed to remember the name of the prestigious school that she had been planning to attend the following fall.
Lori looked up at him with sad, but tearless, eyes.
“I never went.” She admitted. “I’ve been here the entire time.” Her voice cracked with emotion as she spoke. Before Josh had a chance to respond she had vaulted out of the vehicle and slammed the door behind her. She sprinted to the door of her apartment building and never looked back.
Chapter 7
The next day, Lori spent the afternoon with Ashley choosing songs for the wedding ceremony. Lori had been relieved to find out that Josh was not expected to be at the Bennett house today. Apparently, some of his old buddies from high school were getting together to play flag football and he had been invited.
It seemed as if she and Ashley had never been apart. They quickly fell back into the roles of their old friendship and Lori Felt an aching in her heart for the friend she had lost. She had missed this.
Sometime later, Josh walked through the door to find the girls sitting on the living room floor with piles of paper spread around them.
“This look like old times.” His smile was infectious. Lori reminded herself that he had not meant it as a barb, but the comment had been hard to stomach.
“Josh! Look what the cat dragged in.” She gestured to Lori who sitting cross-legged beside her. Josh leaned forward and offered a hand to Lori, who shook it while trying to hide the confused expression on her face.
“It’s nice to see you again, Lori.” His smile revealed nothing of their last embarrassing encounter. “It’s been a long time.”
Lori decided to play along. Keeping their interaction a secret from Ashley, and everyone else for that matter, had always been a silly game that they played. Lori was surprised that, after all this time, Josh had never clued his sister in.
The threesome had been chatting for several minutes when one of the gardeners interrupted to tell Ashley that the tents were being installed in the wrong location. With the wedding emergency as her primary focus, Ashley rushed from the room leaving Lori alone with Josh.
Lori began to haphazardly collect the papers into a pile, while Josh lounged on the couch watching her.
“Do you remember that time that you and Ashley wrote your own musical play?” He asked as he smiled at the memory. Lori had to tell herself to look away. It would be much too easy to get caught up in memories with Josh. “Our old living room was covered in paper, just like this.”
Lori remembered. She and Ashley had run around the Bennett’s house all summer writing the songs for the production that they were sure was going to be a Broadway hit. They had been eleven, and the story had been abysmal.
“Yes.” She laughed. “I also remember that you and your friends burned our master script the day after it had been completed.”
Josh released a roar of laughter. “I could not listen to those songs any longer. They were terrible.”
“They were, weren’t they?” Lori agreed. At the time the loss had been devastating. As her skill had grown over the years, she had later come to appreciate the fact that the boys had restrained themselves for so long.
Lori stood up and carried the stack of papers over to a nearby table and set them down. She evaluated her options for a place to sit and then remembered why she and Ashley had ended up on the floor in the first place. Almost all of the seating was covered with Ashley’s massive collection of wedding-planning materials. There were fabric swatches and silk flower patterns on one chair, an assortment of vases on another. The ottoman was littered with magazines, and the loveseat held several boxes of table favors that had yet to be assembled.
The only place to sit was beside Josh, on the couch. From the look on his face, he was well aware of her dilemma.
“Afraid?” He taunted.
Never one to back down from a challenge, Lori straightened her shoulders and walked over to the couch, where she sat pointedly against the opposite arm. She crossed her legs beneath her and turned to face him. With her back to the arm of the sofa, she felt more secure, while giving off the appearance of calm assurance.
“Do you know what I was thinking about the other day?” She needed to get the conversation flowing again. The silence left too much space for her brain to analyze the man sitting in front of her. Today, he seemed more like his old self. He was calm and casual. She wondered if being out of the public eye eased some of the cockiness that she had seen the day before.
“Hmm?” the low hum-of-a-question sent a shiver down her spine. Why did even his voice have to be sexy? Lori told herself to snap out of it. She needed to focus. She just needed to survive until Ashley returned, then hopefully Josh would leave.
“At the café… I was thinking about the first time that you tried coffee.” She smiled as the memory played across her mind.
“It was a dare.” He stated bluntly. It was clear that he still harbored resentment for the friend that had dared him to chug an entire mug of coffee, a large amount of caffeine for someone who had never had it before.
“I see that you can hold your caffeine a little better these days.” She teased.
“Very funny!” He shot back with a grin. “I wouldn’t have cared except that it was on the day of my graduation and couldn’t even pay attention to the ceremony because I was so worried that I was going to be sick again.”
Lori laughed. A full, hearty laugh that left Josh staring at her with an expression that she could not read.
“Do you remember yours?” His voice was low and Lori suddenly found it hard to breathe.
“My what?” Why did her voice have to sound all soft and sultry when she spoke? She needed to control that.
“Your graduation.” Josh’s eyes bore into her own. Of course she remembered. How could she not? After weeks of flirting and secret embraces, her graduation night had been the stuff of fairy tales. She and Josh had been able to sneak away from a bonfire that they had both attended. No one had noticed their absence and they had had the entire night to themselves.
They had made love that night. It was something that she would never forget.
Lori could not bring herself to answer, but her silence told Josh everything that he needed to know. She remembered. She remembered every detail as if it had been yesterday.
Josh hooked his hand inside of her bent knee and pulled her toward him. Lori did not resist. She could not resist. Every cell in her body was aching for him. Even though she knew that this was a terrible idea, she knew that a part of her had wanted to see in his eyes what she was seeing right now.
Passion. She only wanted to focus on that part because she was afraid that there was something else that she could see there. Something that she did not want to confront. Something that she was certain was in her own gaze as well. Pain.
When he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, she could tell that he was expecting her to pull away. She should have pulled away, but she did not.
Instead, she felt her lips part and she leaned into the kiss as if it was the last thing
she would ever do.
She had never stopped loving Josh. She knew that now.
She might have been able to cover it up by hiding from him, but every second that she spent in his presence peeled a bit of her resilience away.
Josh deepened the kiss. He was holding himself back, perhaps afraid to scare her, but she wanted more.
Lori brushed her tongue against his lips and Josh broke.
His hands thrust into her hair and he pulled her as close as their seated positions would allow. Their tongues met and Lori knew that there was no resisting. She curled her hands into his shirt and pulled him ever closer.
Suddenly, an image of Emmy flashed in her mind and Lori forced herself away with a jolt. What had she been thinking? What had she been doing? She had a three-year-old daughter at home who needed her and here she was giving into the same juvenile passions that had gotten her here in the first place.
Josh was taking ragged breaths and watching Lori back away out of the corner of his eyes.
“Why didn’t you ever give us a shot?” His words came in gasps with his breath.
“I… I told you.” She was struggling to calm her own body as well.
“No.” Josh’s voice was firm. “You said it was nothing.” He pointed at her. “That… was not nothing. It was something then, and it still is now.”
She hated that he had to be so straightforward. Why couldn’t Josh just let it go? She needed him to because obviously she had been unable to tamper the desire after all of this time.
“Josh… I told you.” She searched her brain for the excuses that she had given all those years ago. “It just… wouldn’t work.”
“Why? Because I’m Ashley’s brother?” He demanded. “Obviously that doesn’t matter because you don’t speak to her anymore either. And while we are on the topic, what the hell happened there?”
Lori was feeling very panicked. She could not answer. She just shook her head in silence.
The answer to both of those questions was the same. Emmy. She could not have maintained a friendship with Ashley without Josh finding out that Lori was pregnant. It had been a necessary evil. One that she would do again to protect those that she loved. All of them. Josh would have never been able to follow his dreams the way that he had if he had felt responsible for Lori and Emmy. No. She had made the right decision and she was not going to regret it now.
Josh scooted toward her and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her shoulder. Afterward, his hand remained to cup her neck, his thumb rubbing distracting circles on her cheek.
Josh leaned forward and pressed his forehead against her own. Lori closed her eyes and did not pull away. How could his touch feel so good and so wrong at the same time? She wanted it, but she was not supposed to. Her brain knew that but her heart was not listening.
“Lori, tell me what I did wrong.” He whispered.
She held back the tears that were threatening to flow. Did he honestly think that he had done something wrong? Had he thought that the entire time?
She shook her head. “Nothing.” She whispered. That was as much as she could trust herself to say.
She felt his hand beneath her chin and her face was raised so that their lips met once more. This time, the kiss was tender and sweet.
“Come to the wedding with me.” He spoke against her lips.
“I am going to the wedding.” She replied. They broke apart and Josh took one of her hands in his own.
“Come to the wedding as my date. The rehearsal dinner too.” She felt a gentle squeeze on her hand.
“Josh, I can’t.” She sighed.
“Why?” He asked. “Ashley won’t care. She’s too happy having you back around to complain about me stealing some of your attention. Come with me.”
Lori laughed. He made it all sound so simple.
“It’s not a good idea.” She was trying to stay firm but the goofy grin on his handsome face was making it difficult. How could he be so utterly happy when all she felt was as if she were about to be sick. Kissing Josh had just made everything much more complicated. She should have kept her distance.
Even now, though, she knew that staying away from Josh was practically impossible.
“Lori, I promise, if you never want to see me again after the wedding, I will leave you alone.” She could see the determination in his face. He was not going to give up until she said yes.
Lori rubbed her temple. Two dates with Josh and he would promise to stay away forever. That was what she wanted, wasn’t it?
With a deep sigh, Lori agreed. She only hoped that she could go through with it and come out unscathed. No matter how she tried to rationalize it, Lori was certain that she was on the fast track to a broken heart.
Chapter 8
The next evening, Josh was sitting at a local bar sharing drinks with his buddies when he had the sudden urge to leave. All evening women had been throwing themselves at him. Apparently a recent magazine article had labeled him the country’s hunkiest bachelor and, upon finding out that he was in town, the women had come out in droves.
All except Lori, that is.
He had called her to ask if she wanted to go to dinner that night but she had refused. She had rushed through the phone call and hung up without much explanation. She had seemed distracted. He hoped that she was not regretting her decision to attend the wedding events as his date.
When he felt a pair of fingers sweep through his hair for the third time that night he knew that it was time to leave. This was not where he wanted to be. He wanted to see Lori.
She was all that he had been able to think about since coming into town. Hell, even before that, but after kissing her the day before he knew that he was a goner.
There had never been anyone for him except Lori. Somehow, he needed to prove to her that they were meant to be together. Even though she said that she was not interested, her actions had told him otherwise. There was no denying the passion that flowed between them. Lori might not want to admit it, but it was right there at the surface every time that they met.
On a whim, perhaps fueled by alcohol, Josh decided to go to Lori’s apartment. He needed to see her, to feel her, to know that she was not going to change her mind and run away from him again.
The door to the apartment building was locked. Even if it had not been, he had no idea which unit belonged to her. He decided to throw caution to the wind and call for her. By the time he had shouted her name four times, half the building was awake.
Lori stepped out onto a second-floor balcony and stared down to where he stood in the grass.
“Josh! Go away!” She was attempting to keep her voice down. One of the neighbors shouted for them to be quiet, while another female offered to let Josh into her own apartment.
“Lori, let me up.” He stood beneath her balcony and spoke as quietly as possible.
“Are you drunk?” She hissed.
“Yup.” He smiled. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
Lori had a look of panic on her face that Josh did not understand.
“Go away, Josh. We can talk tomorrow.” She rolled her eyes in frustration.
Josh evaluated the situation and made the only decision that seemed appropriate at the time. He scaled the side of the building until he was able to pull himself up over the edge of Lori’s balcony.
There she stood wrapped in a silk bathrobe with her arms crossed over her chest and a look of pure agony on her face.
He wasted no time. He walked over to her, grabbed her by the shoulders, and kissed her.
After a moment he pulled away but continued to hold her.
“Madison Stone, I am in love with you. I know that…” He never got to finish the thought because a moment later a small voice piped up behind him and he felt as if the floor had fallen out from beneath him.
“Mommy? Is that a burger-ler?”
Lori instantly took control. That was a good thing because Josh stood frozen after he turned to face the small blonde-haired girl who was the
spitting image of Lori.
“No honey. This isn’t a burglar. It’s just an old friend.” She shuffled the tiny girl back inside and Josh could still hear Lori talking. “Let’s get you back in bed, sweetie.”
“I love you, mommy.” The tiny voice was already yawning.
“I love you too, Emmy. Sweet dreams.”
When Lori came back out onto the balcony she did not speak.
“I didn’t know you had a daughter.” He stated dumbly.
“Well, now you do.” Lori crossed her arms over her chest once more. She was annoyed.
“How old is she?”
“Three”
“Is she mine?” He asked. He held his breath as he waited for the answer. He was not sure which answer he wanted to hear.
“Don’t be silly, Josh.” Lori stated with certainty. “We had sex once. I had plenty of partners that summer.”
Chapter 9
Lori lay in bed for hours agonizing over the lie that she had told Josh. She could not have pretended that there had been any partners before him, he was well aware of the fact that she had been a virgin on the night of her graduation. However, there had been no lovers after him that summer. There had been no lovers since him, period.
Of course Emmy was his, but there was no way that she was going to saddle him with that information. In a few days he would be gone. Then, she could make him hold true to his promise and stay out of her life for good.
Josh was sleeping on the couch on the other side of the thin apartment wall. She had let him in after Emmy had fallen asleep, hoping that he would sleep off the stupor and leave before Emmy woke in the morning. With any luck, the tired child would not remember the incident.
She heard him roll over and groan. Heavy footsteps crossed the room and he entered the bathroom. What was he doing in the shower?
She continued to listen for a few minutes before she was certain. Yes, the man was taking a shower in the early hours of the morning, in her apartment.
She squeezed her eyes shut. That was the sort of image that she had been trying to force out of her mind. Unfortunately, her mind provided a surplus of fantasies about Josh in the shower that made her blush in the darkness.