by Raina Wilde
Forty minutes later Jenna, who had been dozing on the couch in her plush terry cloth robe, awoke sharply from a loud noise. For a moment she was disoriented. Her eyes took in the untouched mug of coffee on her end table, her robed body, and the twisted towel that encased her hair and was pulling at her scalp.
The noise sounded again and she realized that it was the door buzzer to her condo.
She padded over to the intercom and activated the security camera.
Alex stood outside her building with a large cardboard box and a guilty grin.
She had almost decided to pretend that she wasn’t home when Alex shifted the apparently heavy box and rang the bell again.
“What are you doing here?” she spoke into the microphone.
“You going to let me in?” Alex responded, raising an eyebrow in challenge.
“You didn’t answer my question.” Though she couldn’t imagine what he was doing outside her condo, Jenna could not suppress the small twinge of excitement that raced through her body at the sight of him.
“I came for Thanksgiving.” He spoke as if stating the obvious.
“What?” Was he crazy? “Alex, I’m not cooking a turkey in here, I didn’t invite anyone over.”
“I know. That’s why I brought dinner to you.” He lifted the box and shook it in front of the camera as if the sight of cardboard was enough to entice her. For all she knew, the box was empty and, even if it wasn’t, she was positive she did not want to be alone with Alex Rockwell in her home.
“Are you going to let me in already or are you going to make me stand out here while all of this delicious food gets cold?”
She was about to buzz him in when Jenna realized what she was wearing. No makeup, wet hair, and absolutely indecent attire. She pulled the robe tighter to cover her breasts but it did little to hide the impressive amount of cleavage displayed through the plunging neckline.
“Oh crap.” She swore. She hadn’t realized that her statement had gone over the speaker until she heard Alex’s chuckle return from the other end.
“You’re not naked, are you?” He peered into the camera lens, pretending that he might be able to see her reflection inside. Jenna knew very well that there was no video feed at the entrance to the building but the act still made a blush rise up her neck and cheeks.
“No, I’m not naked!” Jenna slapped her forehead when he laughed again. Too late she had realized that her overzealous denial had confirmed his suspicions to be dangerously close to the truth.
“Come on, Jen. I’m not going to bite.” The innocent comment wreaked havoc on Jenna’s emotions. She knew he had meant absolutely nothing sexual by the comment, and it was true that he would never actually bite, but a sudden flash of Alex’s mouth being close enough to her skin… well, she felt the flush begin to rise again.
Jenna gave herself a mental shake. Get a hold of yourself, girl.
“Tenth floor.” She pressed the lock release and instantly regretted her decision.
With sheer panic Jenna cast a glance around her quaint condo, silently praising her mother’s training that had instilled an appropriate level of neat freak in her children. She sprinted to her bedroom, estimating the amount of time it would take him to cross the lobby, hopefully wait for an occupied elevator, and ride the lift to the tenth floor.
For one idiotic moment Jenna considered pulling on a flattering day-dress, but she knew Alex would recognize that immediately as an attempt to impress.
Instead, she decided to belie his assumption about her nudity and settle for the casual lounging outfit she would have chosen for a night alone. Jenna pulled on a pair of black stretch pants that were comfortable with the added benefit of slimming and elongating her muscular legs. She then chose a long sleeved, sheer, printed top over a black tank. Jenna did not bother with socks or shoes but rather moved on to a quick application of makeup. She realized that there was no time for a full array of product, instead she settled for a hint of blush, mascara and a pale pink lip-gloss.
She had just finished brushing her damp auburn hair when she heard a quiet knock on the door. She braided it casually as she walked down the hallway and adhered it with a dark tie.
One glance in the hall mirror told her that she had successfully pulled off a look that was both fresh and effortless. Jenna smiled to herself and took a deep, calming breath before opening the door.
As he brushed past her toward the kitchen Jenna gave him a mildly reproving look. Try as she might to hide it, she was amused by his unexpected appearance.
“I like your place.” He was taking in the details of her elegant, but comfortable, home while pulling a series of clear storage containers from the box. From her vantage point she could see sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, stuffing, green beans, and even two slices of crème-topped pumpkin pie.
“Did you cook all of this?” She asked incredulously. Those were not restaurant takeout containers.
“Nah,” Alex laughed. “I got my nutritionist to tell the chef that I could take a weekend off from chicken and rice.” Jenna had forgotten that Alex had now gained enough sponsorship to employ a personal chef. She shook her head in amazement. This account was turning out better than she could have ever anticipated, as long as neither of them screwed this up, her promotion was in the bag.
This thought raised concerns in Jenna’s mind about Alex’s arrival at her residence. Bramble and Bowman had a fairly liberal approach to client/agent relationships as long as they did not affect the contract. Mr. Bramble, himself, had met his wife when she was a young Olympic swimmer under his guidance. But Jenna was uncertain if this situation might end poorly in terms of her working relationship with Alex. Not, she reminded herself, that there was any sort of relationship going on. She simply needed to ensure that her professional conduct remained consistent, even in this private setting.
A little voice in Jenna’s head told her that this would be nearly impossible to maintain.
Abruptly, a strange thought occurred to Jenna.
“How did you find out where I live?” She asked suspiciously.
“Well…” he shuffled the containers distractedly, “I found out that you were spending the holiday alone so I figured, since neither of us had anywhere to go, that we could have dinner together.” Alex had always been a terrible liar and currently he was unable to meet her eyes.
Jenna sat on a stool across the countertop from where he stood.
She tilted her head to the side.
“That doesn’t really answer my question.”
He raised his guilty eyes and shrugged his shoulders in silence, clearly unwilling to betray his source.
The response told her everything she needed to know.
“I’m going to kill Lena.” She laughed.
Alex seemed relieved that she wasn’t upset with her friend. Jenna recognized the test for what it was, Lena had been becoming suspicious of Jenna’s resurgence of feelings toward the fighter and was giving Jenna a private opportunity to decide if she was willing to satiate her curiosity.
“Don’t be too harsh with her,” Alex’s smile was disarming. “I can be pretty persuasive when I want information.” When Jenna gave him a questioning look he said, “I figured if she was your best friend then you two might be similar…” he paused dramatically. “Chocolate and coffee go a long way for establishing good graces.”
Jenna laughed heartily. Another change she hand not expected from Alex was his sudden attention to detail. If he had plied Lena with chocolate and coffee then Jenna doubted there was much her best friend wouldn’t reveal, especially if she had any inclination that Jenna would be receptive to Alex’s visit.
No, Jenna thought, Lena had simply read the situation with unerring accuracy. Jenna wished she had not been so obvious with her curiosity, she only hoped that Alex was not privy to her interest.
Alex asked where she kept her serving ware, and ordered her to remain seated while he prepared their plates. He pulled a bottle of wine from t
he depths of the box and removed two glasses that hung on a rack beneath the cabinets.
He set the glasses on the counter and instructed her to pour.
It was a surreal feeling to watch him moving so freely in her kitchen as he served them both a meal. Jenna was surprised at how natural it felt to have him here in her home, almost as if he completed the space. Alex placed the spare food in her refrigerator amongst the leftovers and a sporadic sampling of health food.
The time they spent eating dinner was technically uneventful, but significant at the same time. They grazed the buffet that Alex had provided while alternating between lighthearted conversations and cheering for the football game that played across the large flat screen television.
It was well past nightfall before Jenna took note of how comfortably they had interacted for a major portion of the day. She quickly appraised the situation, taking note of the wine glasses on the low coffee table, the nearly empty food containers, and the fact that Jenna was lounging with her legs stretched out on the couch and her feet coming to a rest against Alex’s thigh as he sat on the furthest cushion.
Her heart jumped as an old memory of the two of them sitting in a similar way, all those years ago, flashed across her mind. Quickly, and not at all casually, Jenna pulled her knees to her chest leaving the expanse of a vast cushion now between them. In that instant Alex suddenly seemed very far away and Jenna couldn’t decide if what she felt was relief or disappointment.
She could tell that Alex had felt her sudden withdrawal because his profile became suddenly rigid. He continued to stare blankly toward the television, which was now playing one of Jenna’s favorite old movies.
Jenna heard a shaky exhale come from the far end of the couch, drawing her gaze to the man she had once loved so ardently. She was beginning to worry that there was the potential to love this new man even more than the last time, the potential for him to hurt her in a way from which she wouldn’t recover so easily this time around.
“You just realized that you’d actually been enjoying yourself around me, for once.” He stated in a voice so quiet that Jenna thought she might have imagined it.
One hand flew to her mouth as if to stifle any admission to the truth of his statement. He turned his piercing blue eyes on her and Jenna felt her entire body tremble. She knew, in that instant, that somehow the situation was beyond her control.
Alex swore and placed his face in his hands, elbows resting above his knees.
She sat frozen. Her mind seemed completely empty of any coherent thought, only the deep rhythmic pounding of her heart.
Finally, with a surprising burst of energy Alex shifted himself on the couch, pulling one leg onto the cushion so that he could face her directly. His long arm extended across the raised back of the sofa and hovered briefly over her elbow as if to touch her, before pulling itself away to join with his other hand. He rubbed his hands together as Jenna watched him prepare for whatever speech he was about to make. His rough fighter’s hands cracked as he massaged his own palms in trepidation.
“OK. Here’s the deal,” he began, speaking with a speed that emphasized his nervous state, “I’m going to go crazy if you don’t let me get this off my chest and, I know that you made it clear that you don’t want to hear this, but if you could just listen, then at least if you walk away at the end of our contract I won’t spend the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if I told you.” In the span of one breath Jenna’s curiosity in the subject dissipated. She quickly realized that she was not, in any way, as prepared for this conversation as she had once thought.
She began to peel her hand away from her mouth to respond, though what she was going to say she never knew because Alex held up a hand to stop her.
“Don’t. Please don’t stop me, or interrupt. Just listen?” He was speaking so fearfully that Jenna’s heart went out to him. She would listen, she allowed.
Instinctively her quivering hand clamped back across her lips.
“I’m not exactly sure where to begin.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I guess the very beginning might make the most sense.
“All that time ago, when we dated, we were so happy, but I was stupid. I had these huge, pie-in-the-sky dreams and no matter how hard I worked it never seemed to be enough. One day I met this agent. He was a total ass but I didn’t know that at the time. He seemed so successful and like he had all the right answers so when he asked me to leave with him, I did.”
He scooted himself closer to her so that their knees were nearly touching. Jenna imagined the contact and for a second she wished that he had not stopped himself short.
“Jen, I never wanted to leave you without any warning. Hell, I never wanted to leave you at all, but Smithson had me convinced that I couldn’t have any distractions. He said that I needed to rebuild myself into a true fighter and, for some stupid reason, I believed him.” Alex touched her cheek with a feather-light caress that caused a rogue tear to fall from the corner of Jenna’s eye. She watched his heart break as he followed its trail onto his hand.
Alex took a deep, steadying breath and withdrew his touch.
“Smithson made me famous, but he didn’t make me a great fighter, I did that on my own. He taught me how to create this tough, macho image with a terrible attitude and tons of female attention. He said that I needed to make people WANT to be me.
“One day I woke up and I hated myself. I wasn’t pretending anymore, I had actually become a person I was ashamed of. I didn’t know how to sort it out on my own so I fired Smithson. Marco, my trainer, has always been great. He said that he needed a vacation anyways and that, if I took six months off, he promised not to book another fighter. Anyway,” Alex shook his head. “none of this is really important, except that I ended up Brazil with a Jiu-Jitsu master that Marco got me in touch with.
“This guy was super tough. He kept telling me that I could never be the best version of myself, as a fighter, unless I became the best version of myself, as a person. I worked really hard to re-discover the type of person that I wanted to be but the Master said that something was still missing, that my passion was devoid of purpose, of happiness.
“I knew at exactly that moment what was missing. I knew that I couldn’t make things right with you after leaving without a word, after all of my terrible publicity with Smithson. I couldn’t hope that you would ever give me another chance. I convinced myself that I would have to settle for forgiveness. If I could right the wrongs that I had done to you, then maybe I could finally find some peace. I figured you had probably changed a lot too, moved on, maybe even become the kind of person I wouldn’t miss being around.
Alex’s face changed from a tortured expression, to a sweet boyish smile, as Jenna watched his mind latch onto a memory.
“That lasted for about two seconds. The minute I saw you at the airport, with your pain-in-the-butt sign, I knew you hadn’t changed. You stood there looking so beautiful, and even though you tried to hide it, your self-protective attitude gave me hope. Hope that some small part of you might still care. I thought, if I showed you that I was a better man than before, someone who wouldn’t just disappear one day, you might learn to trust me again.”
Jenna realized that the tears were streaming freely now. She had expected the conversation about their past to raise painful memories that reminded her of how much she had come to hate that man sitting before her. Instead, her heart broke for the terrible journey that her love had endured.
That was the truth of it. She loved him. Jenna realized that what she felt now, for the amazing man Alex had transitioned into, was much more powerful than anything she had ever felt before.
“I thought, that this day together, had been great, a small step toward you allowing me back into your life. Then, when you pulled away… I could feel you shut yourself off from me and I knew I had hurt you much worse than I ever realized.
“Jenna,” He placed his hands once again over his face and shook his head in shame, “I’m so sor
ry. I understand how much you hate me and I am truly sorry if my attempt to find forgiveness has made you uncomfortable.”
Jenna exhaled sharply unable to believe how he was misinterpreting her response, if only he would look at her and see the love in her eyes…
Alex groaned at the sound, clearly thinking that the noise she had made had been a sardonic laugh.
“I’ve been really selfish, forcing you to spend all this time with me, putting your promotion on the line in order to make sure you wouldn’t turn me away as a client.”
Jenna wasn’t surprised that Alex knew about her promotion, or that he had used it as a leverage point to gain entry to her services as an agent. She realized that if he had been the arrogant client she had been expecting to work with this fact would have angered her immensely. Instead, she found herself pleased to know that such a remarkable man would go to such lengths for her forgiveness.
The room fell into a deep silence as Alex mentally berated himself for his behavior. Jenna stared in awe that such a large, masculine man who routinely pulverized other human beings in a metal cage fight, could sit at her feet as meekly as a chastised child.
Jenna felt the sudden urge to embrace him when, before she had a moment to react, he was standing and heading for the door, not even bothering to collect his belongings from the kitchen.
She allowed herself one calming breath before rising to place a halting hand on his forearm.
Alex looked down at her sadly. Without the benefit of high heels Jenna’s face levelled directly with the wide expanse of his muscular chest. She craned her neck to look up at him and allowed only a moment of confusion to flicker across his features before she hooked a hand around his neck and pulled his mouth firmly to her own.
His reaction was instantaneous. Both arms encircled her soft waist and he lifted her to the tips of her toes as his warm mouth wreaked havoc on her own. Once again she was surrounded by the exotic scent of him and Jenna found herself moaning with approval against his mouth.