by Jodi Thomas
Molly climbed in and headed west toward a place called Barton Springs. The horse pulling the buggy was an old nag. She had to keep a firm grip on the reins to turn. Molly guessed Charlie chose the horse because there was no question of such an ancient animal running away with the buggy.
On the road to the springs, she passed wagonloads of folks who’d spent the noontime enjoying a swim. She barely glanced at them. Wolf wouldn’t be in the crowd. Whatever he planned to say, he wanted to say in private, or he wouldn’t have struggled over the note.
Finally, the road became little more than a trail winding between trees with branches that touched the ground in heavy summer growth. She spotted Wolf standing alone on a rise a quarter mile past the springs. His hands rested on his hips, his feet wide apart. He looked like a giant facing her as if about to go to battle. He wore black trousers covered to the knees with the strange moccasins and a white shirt that made his shoulders seem even broader than usual.
Molly pulled the buggy into the shade and walked slowly toward him. She’d face what he had to say head-on. It was long past time they talked.
The warm breeze caught loose curls around her face. She could hear people splashing in the water. She was too far away to understand words, but their laughter drifted on the air.
He waited until she was within a few feet of him before he spoke. “I thought we could talk here.” He sounded almost gruff. “There are things that need saying between us. I tried to write them, but I couldn’t find the words.”
“I agree,” she answered, wondering if he could say the words any easier than he could write them. “But could we move to the shade?”
He nodded and apologized for not thinking of it.
To her surprise, he took her hand and led her slowly into the shadows, as if they were on a Sunday walk and not about to decide their futures. A fallen trunk offered a natural bench beneath a canopy of green. She sat down, thinking of how the shade softened everything around her. Maybe it would soften his words.
He straddled the log and waited as though she was the one who’d called the meeting. He looked tired and she guessed his head must still pound. Instinctively, she brushed her hand across his hair. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Yes.” He closed his eyes, not wanting her to see how much he enjoyed her simple touch.
“Where do we begin?” she asked.
Wolf watched her. He didn’t want to begin at all. He only wanted to hold her, but they had to talk. “I’ll be thirty next year.”
“I’ll be twenty-seven. But don’t tell the aunts I’m out giving away my age. If twenty marks old-maid status, I must be considered more dead than alive.” She continued to move her fingers through his hair.
“We’re not kids, Molly. Too old to be making fools of ourselves.”
“I agree.”
“Do you want this marriage to end?” He could barely make himself say the words.
Molly lifted her chin. “No,” she said simply.
Wolf relaxed at her side. “Neither do I,” he admitted. “But, after last night, I wasn’t sure.”
“I know,” Molly whispered. “Wolf, I need to talk to my friend.”
Wolf watched her closely. “Who?” As far as he knew, she had no close friends in town.
“You,” she answered. “I need to talk to my honest and true friend about…”
“About anything,” he promised.
“About my husband.” She smiled.
“All right. Let’s talk about the scoundrel.”
“He’s not a scoundrel, he’s a good man. The best man I may have ever met. Only he doesn’t want to sleep with me.”
Wolf heard the sadness in her voice and it shattered his heart.
She stared at her hands as she continued, “He thinks I don’t love him, but I respect him. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Wolf’s hand covered hers. “But why him?” He spread his fingers wide as she threaded her hands through his. He couldn’t help but wonder if she liked touching him as dearly as he loved her touch.
“He makes me feel alive. All my life I’ve daydreamed about life. He makes me want to experience it. He takes big bites out of life.” She looked up. “How do I make him want me?”
She met his eyes, his brown eyes. How could she have not noticed them a thousand times before?
“You wouldn’t have been making love to me last night, Molly, but to just someone.”
His words stung. Suddenly, she wished there were somewhere to go, something to do other than stare at him. Maybe it was better to miss life. To be an old maid. To never have a lover. It couldn’t be more painful than what she was going through. “You said you wanted me, but you didn’t.” The memory of the way he’d turned away from her still hurt. “When it came time and I said yes, you didn’t touch me.”
She stood. She couldn’t bear to relive the rejection all over. The one time she’d offered herself to a man and he’d turned her down.
Wolf caught her arm and pulled her back so quickly, a cry escaped from her. She landed across his legs, locked in his arms.
“I wanted you!” he said as he stopped her protest with a powerful grip. “I still want you. I need you so badly my entire body aches for you, Molly.”
“Don’t lie to me.” No man had ever made her feel less wanted.
His mouth closed down on hers so quickly, she didn’t have time to say more. His kiss was hard and demanding, as though he planned to prove his point with actions and not words.
She struggled against him, fighting his advance, but he grew more determined. He held her hair in a tight fist, while his other hand roamed over her body, branding her with his touch as no man ever dared.
Anger fired her protest. She tried to jerk away, more furious than frightened. This wasn’t the way she wanted to be loved. This wasn’t the way Benjamin would have done it. Wolf had it all wrong.
Wolf didn’t bother to hold her arms. The hits she pounded over him hardly registered. When she kicked at his leg, he shifted and her shoe only struck the log.
He’d prove his passion to her. He pulled her tight against him so that she could feel his need for her. His kiss was wild and hungry, demanding, leaving no doubt of his desire.
She jerked suddenly and pulled her mouth free. “Stop!” she yelled as her slap landed hard against the side of his face. “Stop!”
It took a moment for her cry to register. Wolf let her go so fast she tumbled backward. His arm caught her before she hit the ground. Gently, he lifted her up.
She shoved his hands away. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I was kissing you with passion. I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I might have wanted to be kissed, but not attacked.”
He sat on the log and stared at his hands, wondering if he should try again or stop while he was behind. She was telling him she wanted him as she shoved him away. “I’m not real practiced at lovemaking, Molly. The few times I’ve paid for a woman’s company I found the experience hollow. I must be reading the signs wrong.”
She swallowed and tried to straighten her clothes as she only half listened. Her blouse front was hopelessly torn and her hair had tumbled. “Practiced. Practiced! I’d say you never made it through the first grade.” Her anger built like a summer storm. “If you’d held me any tighter, I’d be dead right now. My cheeks feel sunburned from having your whiskered face rubbing against them. My ribs are bruised. I don’t own enough clothes to have you ripping them off me.”
Wolf looked up at the sparkling light filtering through the branches. Surely, he could do better. If she’d ever give him another chance. The way she was yelling didn’t sound like she was falling in love with him.
She tried to pull her hair in order. “I want to be made love to, not ravished. I feel like I’ve wrestled a bear.”
“Why?” he interrupted her tantrum.
“Why what?” she answered.
“You still haven’t explained why you want
me to make love to you. You don’t love me. I’m not even sure you like me most of the time, so why me? Surely there were men who suited you better back home.”
Molly was too angry to hesitate. “No! Wolf Hayward, you’re the best I could find. Which doesn’t speak well of the male race. I picked you because I want to live in the real world. I’ve spent my whole life dreaming, waiting for a man who didn’t come back for me. Well, I’m through waiting. I want someone to hold me in more than my fantasies.”
He finally lowered his gaze and glared at her with a mixture of determination and rage. “I can be the man you want me to be, but only if you can love me.”
The walls of Jericho tumbled in Molly’s mind, and for the first time she saw Wolf clearly. She’d been so busy looking for a substitute for Benjamin, a fill-in for the lover she’d never have, that she hadn’t seen the man before her.
She’d tried all her life to be the daughter her father wanted, the niece her aunts insisted she be. None of it had made her happy. She felt suffocated and a disappointment to all. When she’d finally broken free and come to Texas, she’d found peace. Being a failure here was better than being a success at what other people wanted her to be.
Molly took a step toward him and touched his hair as she sat beside him. When he stared at her, she saw frustration fill his eyes. “You don’t have to be anything, or anyone, for me, Wolf. You’re a fine man just as you are.”
“Are you saying you could learn to love me?”
Molly couldn’t lie. She’d loved foolishly once. She didn’t want to step out again. The fall was too great. She opened her mouth to answer, but didn’t know how to tell him that she’d given up on love altogether.
“I guess you just gave me your answer.” Wolf hardened before her eyes. “I’ll be your husband, Molly, but I’ll not sleep beside you until you can say you love me. A mating between us wouldn’t work otherwise. We’ve proved that last night and just now.”
“Why can’t you just love me?” she asked.
“Why can’t you say the words?” he answered.
She saw something in his eyes that made her wonder if he’d ever heard a woman tell him she loved him. How could three words hold such importance?
Her hands slowly raked through his dark curls. “Maybe we could just start over, like we just met.”
He shook his head. “I’ve been a loner too long. I, apparently, don’t know the first thing about what a woman wants, and I’m not sure I have the days left in this lifetime to understand you.”
She heard his every word, but she also noticed he didn’t pull away from her touch. “I probably know less than you do.”
Wolf laughed. “A fine pair we are.” He brushed her cheek with his knuckle. “I didn’t hurt you before, did I? You have to believe that was not my intent.”
“No,” she lied, thinking she’d be breathing shallow for a week.
He gently put her hand in his.
Molly accepted his silent apology and leaned closer, touching her lips to his. He didn’t respond, but he didn’t move back.
“Come on.” She smiled and pulled him with her as she stood. “Let’s go home.”
“I meant what I said, Molly,” Wolf repeated.
She didn’t answer. She just kept walking and smiling, thinking of an old saying she’d heard once: It takes a lot of practice to teach a bear to dance. Wolf could say anything he wanted to, but she planned to start practicing. If he wanted her, she’d make him forget about her having to promise love. She never planned to love again, but she aimed to have Wolf Hayward in her bed.
TWENTY-TWO
BY THE TIME MOLLY RETURNED THE BUGGY TO CHARLIE, she’d made up her mind. She didn’t care what Wolf Hayward said. She wasn’t going to lie about love to get him in bed. And she was going to sleep with him if she had to tie him down in order to do so.
The only problem was she had no idea how she might accomplish such a goal. But she had until dark to come up with a plan. He was willing; he just didn’t know it yet.
As soon as Molly got home, she knew the aunts were in a tizzy. Aunt Henrietta had made Miss Early cry by criticizing the meals, and Aunt Alvina was running around like a madwoman because she’d decided to have a dinner party. She’d invited the banker she’d met an hour before, his wife, the preacher who’d married Molly, and, of course, his wife.
“How can I plan a menu with Early crying?” Alvina whined before Molly could pull off her gloves. “She won’t even talk to me about the courses to be served.”
Molly brushed Callie Ann’s blond curls as the little princess tugged on her skirt for attention. “Early is a guest in this house, Aunt Alvina, not a cook. I can help with the cooking.”
Alvina frowned. “I’ve tasted your cooking. Your offer to help only makes matters worse.”
If Molly hoped to calm Alvina, she was greatly disappointed. The little woman started circling like a medicine man in a rain dance.
“I have guests coming to dinner and no cook,” she kept chanting. “I’ll have my hands full finding flowers and setting the table, but a lot of good it will do without anything to eat.”
“Well, it can’t be helped,” Aunt Henrietta announced matter-of-factly. “I can cook better with one finger than that girl can with both hands. Someone had to tell her she’s no chef. We couldn’t go on letting her believe we enjoyed what she served. I had to inform her that her meals were better suited for a trough.”
Callie Ann tugged again at Molly’s skirts. Early’s sniffling sounded from behind the kitchen door.
Molly patted Callie Ann’s hand gently.
Her aunts suddenly turned and glared at Molly.
Henrietta raised her eyebrow. “This is your house, dear. You’re the one who has to do something.”
“All right,” Molly answered, wondering why it was her house when there was a problem but not when the decision to have a dinner party was made. “Early, would you take Callie Ann to eat at Noma’s tonight? My treat.”
Early poked her head around the door and smiled, spotting the light at the end of the tunnel. “I’d love to. But I never ate at a cafe. I don’t know if I’ll know how to act.”
“Callie Ann will show you.” Molly looked down at the girl still trying to get her attention. “Won’t you, dear?”
The little girl nodded as she tried to pull Molly to her level.
“But—” both aunts began in unison.
“Aunt Henrietta”—Molly faced them both, thinking how frightened she used to be of displeasing them—“I’m sure you’ll cook a grand meal, and Alvina’s guests will enjoy it.”
On rare months there’s a double full moon. Once in a million times a calf is born with two heads. Now, for the first time in her life, Molly saw her aunts turn on one another.
Molly grabbed Callie Ann and backed from the room. Early pulled her head into the kitchen like a turtle hearing thunder. Molly could still detect rumblings from their battle when she and Callie Ann reached the porch swing. The princess climbed into her lap as they swayed.
“What is it?” Molly gave the child her full attention.
“I think Uncle Orson wants to move to the barn, but we haven’t got a barn. He says he’s darn tired of listening to the hens.”
Molly laughed, knowing Callie repeated something she’d heard an adult say. “I don’t blame him. Would he like to go with us to see how my store is coming along?”
Callie leaned her head over. “Can we stop by and see Mr. Wolf?”
“If you like,” Molly answered. They jumped off the swing and hopped down the steps without a backward glance toward the house.
The afternoon was warm but cloudy enough to offer some relief from the sun’s glare. They took their time shopping and visiting with Miller about the construction. When they reached the Ranger office, both were ready to sit for a spell.
“Captain!” a young ranger shouted when Molly and Callie Ann stepped inside the main room. “Your wife is here!” His words held a hint of alarm.
“What is it?” she asked, looking from face to face. Rangers were a solemn lot to start with, but today they seemed to have turned to stone.
Someone behind Molly whispered, “Thank God, she has the child.”
Molly kept her hand on Callie Ann’s shoulder and moved closer to Wolf’s office door. “What’s happened?” she asked when she spotted him coming toward her.
Wolf lifted Callie Ann in his arms as he shook his head slightly at Molly. “Hello, Princess. How are things at the castle? Have the dragons taken over yet?” His voice was deceptively calm, unhurried.
“The aunts are fighting something terrible,” Callie Ann answered. “We may have to throw water on them. Uncle Orson wants to move someplace where there’s less noise. He says he can’t take it.” She obviously liked having the adults’ attention. “Aunt Henrietta said she didn’t believe in him, but that’s okay ’cause Uncle Orson doesn’t believe in her, either.”
Several of the rangers muffled their chuckles.
Wolf tossed Callie Ann’s curls. “Would you and Uncle Orson do me a great favor? I don’t have any more cookies in my jar, and Josh doesn’t know which ones to buy at Noma’s. You know, though, don’t you?”
Callie Ann nodded as Wolf handed her the jar.
“Would you go with Josh to get some more cookies? I’ll keep an eye on Molly while you’re gone. You can pick a cookie to eat when you get back.”
“Two,” she bargained.
“All right, two.” Wolf laughed, thinking she’d been around Charlie Filmore too long.
Callie Ann stared at Josh. “You have to carry me. I’m too tired to walk. But I have to carry the jar.”
Josh stepped forward, looking very much like a man who was about to be bossed around by a five-year-old. He glanced at Wolf for help, but Wolf simply thanked him.