by Chunichi
Chapter 25
Inner Struggles Trixy
Breeze, Junior, and I had been chilling at my house over the past few days. It was just like old times and I was adoring every minute of it. I loved seeing Breeze and Junior playing together again and bonding like father and son. The sight just made my heart melt. There was nothing better than seeing my son happy. That is why, as a mother, I did anything I had to do to give him a decent place to stay, clothes on his back, and food in his mouth. I didn’t care if I had to hustle or work a pole to get a dollar, I would do it for the sake of my son. The only place I may have failed him was in providing a father figure, and now it seemed like even that lack had been fulfilled. Spending time with Breeze and Junior as a family had begun to inspire me to do other things. For a moment, I thought there may be something more out there. Maybe there was a chance of me actually having a family. With those thoughts running through my mind, I quickly decided I wanted to go back to school. When I had graduated from high school, I got my certification as a nurse aid. Taking care of people came naturally to me. So, with that said, I decided that I would go back to school to be a licensed practical nurse.
“Breeze!” I called out to him. I wanted him to be the first person I shared the news with.
“What up?” He walked into the bedroom with a slight limp.
I had been doing my best to nurse Breeze back to health. His wounds had finally started to heal, and he was getting his strength back.
“Guess what?” I said with a big grin across my face.
“You hit the lottery?” Breeze laughed.
“No, silly. I’m going back to school.”
“For real? Stop lying.” Breeze seemed surprised that such a thing was coming from my mouth.
“For real, Breeze. I want the best for me and Junior. I want to make a good wife for some lucky man one day. I can’t just hustle and grind all the time. I need something stable. I’m gonna go back to be an LPN,” I explained.
“Damn, Trixy. I never thought I would say this, but I’m fucking proud of you, girl.” Breeze gave me a big hug, then headed back into the living room where he had been watching TV before I called out to him.
His approval meant the world to me. Not only did it make me smile, but it made my heart cry. It made me think back to the dirty shit I’d done to Breeze. Every minute of the day I regretted ever having that sit-down with Mannie. I needed to get that guilt off my heart but I didn’t know how. I sat in my bedroom, silent, as tears began to fill my eyes.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?” Junior had come into my room and noticed my saddened demeanor.
“Mommy’s sad.” I pulled him near and embraced him.
“Why?” he asked.
“I did something that I shouldn’t have done, and I think it hurt someone.” I tried my best to explain on a level he could understand.
“You can say sorry,” Junior suggested.
“You know what, Junior, that’s a perfect idea, but I think this person may not forgive me. Mommy’s in a real bad situation.”
“You can pray. Grandma says God heals everything.” Junior gave another wonderful suggestion. I couldn’t believe my six-year-old son had the answer to my despair.
“Excellent idea. We’ll pray first. Then I will tell the person sorry and ask him to forgive me.”
“Okay. Can I pray with you?”
“Sure,” I said, but was afraid I may have needed my son’s help with this too.
You see, I had never prayed in my life. I hadn’t the slightest idea where to start or what to say.
“We gotta get on our knees,” my son directed me.
“Okay,” I said, and we both kneeled against the bed. “Dear God,” I began to say, not knowing what direction I would go in next. “I never called on you for anything, but I know you exist. If you’re out there and you’re listening to me, I really need you. I’ve done some horrible things and it’s weighing heavy on my heart. I need you to forgive me and show me the right way, and I need you to give me the strength to ask forgiveness from the person who I have hurt. Please put it in his heart to forgive me.” The words flowed from my mouth with ease.
“And bless Grandma, Mommy, and Breeze,” Junior added, then we both said, “Amen.”
“What y’all doing in here?” Breeze walked in as soon as we’d said Amen.
“We’re praying,” Junior said, full of excitement.
“You want to join in?” I added.
“Sure.” He nodded and carefully got on his knees beside me. Junior wrapped his arms around us. With Breeze’s lead, all three of us together prayed to God. It was a beautiful moment, and, for the first time, it was starting to feel as if we could actually become a family.
After praying, I headed to the kitchen to start dinner. I truly believed my nutritious meals and motherly care were nursing Breeze back to his good health. As I prepared dinner, my cell phone rang.
“Hello,” I answered.
“You’ve been sleeping with the enemy,” Mannie commented on the other end of the phone.
“Who is it?” Breeze asked, noticing the fright in my face. I shook my head and put my hand over my mouth, letting him know he needed to be quiet. Then I rushed out of the kitchen to my bedroom, where I could be alone.
“Mannie, what you talking about? Listen, I’m not sleeping with anybody. It’s about me and my son for now,” I insisted.
“If you say so.” He busted out laughing and hung up in my ear.
I rushed into the living room. “That was Mannie on the phone. We got to get outta here,” I explained to Breeze after making sure I pressed the end button on my cell phone to ensure the call had ended properly.
“You’re right, let’s go,” he agreed while putting on whatever clothes he could find.
We both knew what that phone call meant. We knew it wouldn’t be long before Mannie and the goons would be at my house looking for Breeze. I put two weeks’ worth of clothes in a suitcase and dropped Junior at my mom’s house. Breeze and I decided to go to Newport News and lay low for a while.
Chapter 26
I Mean Business Biggs
“Mannie, talk to me, I hope you got some good news for me,” I stated after answering the phone and placing a few pieces of fried okra in my mouth.
“I know Breeze is with Trixy.”
“A few months ago, you were bragging that Breeze was about to make us some money. Then you came to me saying Trixy had given you all this information about Breeze. And now you’re telling me these two are together. Mannie, do you really have any idea what the fuck is going on?” I’d heard way too many conflicting stories from Mannie. He was one inch away from being kicked off the fucking team.
“I know it sounds crazy, Biggs. Hell, it sounds crazy to me too. But word on the street is she housing that nigga,” Mannie replied.
“Have you been by the house, Mannie?”
“Of course. I went the same night I found out. I’ve been checking back every day since, hoping I could catch them. But I’m thinking they probably went into hiding a long time ago. Nobody ain’t been to the house for days. The house is always dark and the mailbox is full,” he explained.
“We got to get that motherfucker quick before the cops come knocking on the door. Use Trixy. A woman is always weak. Go to her brother, mother, sister, cousin, aunt, or uncle to try to track down where she is. Once she finds out we’ve paid her family a little visit, she will hand Breeze over out of fear. Or, if you’re really good, with a little force you should be able to get a family member to talk,” I instructed him.
“You know what, I got something better!” Mannie yelled, like he’d come up with a master plan. “Her son goes to the same school as my nephew. I think I’ll pay him a little visit. Once we get him, we’ll get Trixy, and you’ll get Breeze once and for all. This shit needs to be handled and go away.” For once, Mannie was talking some shit I was trying to hear.
“Now, you’re talking. Get the boy and wait for me. I need to deal with Breeze
myself,” I declared, and hung up the phone.
The next day I headed down to Virginia. It was time my presence be felt again. Breeze had tried to weaken my throne. It was time he knew who was really in charge. With perfect timing, Mannie called my phone as soon as I got in the area.
“Yeah,” I answered. “Hope you got, good news.”
“We got the boy,” Mannie informed me.
“Wonderful, meet me tonight at ten near the docks.”
“Okay,” Mannie agreed.
I pulled up to the docks about thirty minutes early just to check out the scene. At seven o’clock sharp, Mannie pulled up. To my surprise, Mannie wasn’t late. He and the little boy got out of the car and headed to the utility van I was driving. The little boy looked scared shitless. I felt somewhat sorry for him. He reminded me a lot of Jaden.
“Call Trixy,” I insisted, pointing to the TracFone I picked up earlier.
“Hello?” she answered.
“We got your son,” Mannie revealed.
“Ma,” Junior called out.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay. Mommy is coming to get you. Mannie, please, don’t hurt my son. I’ll do whatever you want. Leave him outta this. He’s just a child. You got babies of your own,” she whimpered on the phone in tears.
“The only way you’ll ever see your son again is for a tradeoff. You get us Breeze, and Junior will be back in school by Wednesday,” he offered.
“Can I talk to my mom?” Junior asked.
“Of course.” I ordered Mannie with a nod.
“Ma,” Junior called out.
“Baby, did they hurt you?”
“No. Please tell Breeze to save me. I’m scared, Mommy. I don’t want to die, Ma, please,” Junior begged.
“That’s enough,” I commanded, and ordered Mannie to hang up the phone.
Chapter 27
Do or Die Breeze
“What’s up?” I asked Trixy with my hands held up.
“You know exactly who the fuck it was. It was Mannie. Him and Biggs got Junior. I don’t know what they doing to my baby. He don’t need to be in all of this bullshit. I feel like a fucked-up mother. This is all my fault.” She was weeping hysterically in my arms.
“Listen to me, Trixy, please,” I urged, holding her in my arms while attempting to calm her down. “Are you listening?” I asked.
“Yes.” She nodded.
“We’re going to get Junior back. Just follow my lead. Everything is going to work out,” I explained while rubbing her back.
I felt like a fucking lowlife. Not only was my children’s world fucked up beyond belief; now, I had another innocent child caught up in my motherfucking shit. I knew I couldn’t let nothing happen to Junior. I would never forgive myself.
I was ready for war. The way I felt, I’d already lost so much at this point, I was like, “Fuck it. If it’s my time to go, so be it.” A least I knew I would go down fighting. I figured Ma, Grandma, and my kids were probably better off without me anyway.
I jumped up, grabbed our things, and headed to Trixy’s car. She followed me.
“Where are we going?” she questioned once we were in the car. I had decided to drive because she was in no position to.
“One of my spots. I need to handle some business real quick. When I stop by, I need you to stay in the car. I’ll be in and out. It shouldn’t take long at all. Cool?” I made sure Trixy was okay with being alone for a second before I went in.
I always kept a place that no one knew about. When I say no one, I mean no one, not even Tanisha or my mother. I’d copped that spot under a fictitious name so that nothing could be traced back to me. This is where I kept my drugs, money, scale, and all the incriminating evidence. While in the house, I thought about all the shit caused behind the drug game. When you compare the gain to the losses, that shit ain’t even worth it. I shuffled through the house and collected $50,000 from various stashes I had hidden throughout. I placed the money in a duffel bag, then jetted out.
“Call Biggs and tell him that you ready to meet him, but he is to come alone,” I instructed Trixy as soon as I got back in the car.
Trixy called back the number that had called her earlier. I could hear Mannie through the phone. “You ready?”
“Yes, I am, but I am meeting with Biggs alone, not you, and no goons,” Trixy said just as I’d instructed, her. There was a pause while Mannie discussed Trixy’s request with Biggs.
“A’ight,” Mannie said. Biggs had agreed to our request. “Meet him at the park nearest to your house at ten o’clock. You know where the spot is,” Mannie instructed and hung up the phone.
Although it was only a few hours away, it seemed like days as we waited for ten o’clock to roll around. Back at the hotel, Trixy couldn’t stop pacing. I knew not knowing if Junior was safe was killing her inside. It had to be a terrible feeling. I tried my best to console her and assure her things were gonna be all right. But the fucked-up thing is that deep inside, I didn’t even know if things were gonna truly be all right. I had a plan but any wrong move could blow the whole thing. I hadn’t told Trixy about it yet, because I needed her cooperation, but under the current circumstances she was looking kinda shaky.
“Trixy, I got a plan, but I’m gonna need your help. You think you up to it?” I asked.
“I’ll do whatever I have to, to keep the men in my life safe. Breeze, I’m worried about you just as much as I’m worried about my son,” Trixy confessed.
“Listen, I stopped by my spot and picked up fifty grand. I’m hoping we can use this as a bargaining tool with Biggs. I’ll give myself up as a trade for Junior, but after you get Junior you can offer him the fifty grand for me,” I said, knowing the chance of Biggs actually agreeing was slim, but I had to do something.
“Okay,” Trixy agreed without hesitation.
“One more thing, here.” I handed her a gun. “You never know what he may have up his sleeve. Do you know how to use this?”
“Take off the safety. Put one in the head. Aim and shoot,” she said like a pro.
“Perfect,” I said, then looked at my watch, noticing the time. “Well, it’s about that time. You ready, soldier?”
“Always,” Trixy said, then hugged me tight. “I love you, Breeze,” she whispered in my ear before letting me go.
I was thrown by her statement. I stepped back and looked her in her face, then parted my lips to ask her if she was serious. Before I could say anything, she placed her index finger across my lips. “Shh…don’t say anything,” she said, then walked away.
I guessed she was right. Nothing needed to be said. I just took in the moment and got my mind back on the war we were about to face. I followed Trixy to the car and hopped in. I grabbed my gun and put it in my waistband. We pulled up to the park a few minutes early. It was dark and no one was in sight. Minutes later, we saw headlights turn on from a distance. We got out of the car and headed toward the lights. When we got near, Biggs hopped out of a black Navigator, with a gun next to Junior’s temple.
“Biggs, let Junior go. He’s too young for all of this,” I pleaded.
“I give the motherfucking orders around here. You got that?” Biggs spat back.
“We got it,” Trixy and I said in unison. All she wanted was to have Junior in her arms.
“Both of you need to strip down. I don’t want any foolishness,” Biggs ordered.
“What!” Trixy stated.
“Bitch, you heard me,” he added.
I knew exactly what Biggs was doing. Making us strip was his only way of ensuring that we weren’t carrying any weapons. While stripping down, I had no choice but to throw down my gun.
“Apparently, you do follow orders.” Biggs smirked, noticing I didn’t hesitate to strip down to my boxers.
“Breeze is here as I promised. Could I have my son please?” Trixy pleaded.
“A deal is a deal. Head this way, Breeze,” Biggs demanded. I walked toward him as he and Junior started inching their way toward Trixy. When I was ne
ar, he released Junior, who ran into Trixy’s arms. They hugged each other tight, and, for a moment, it seemed that Trixy had completely forgotten about me.
“I’ve been waiting for this day.” Biggs grabbed me and put his gun to my head.
“Wait!” Trixy yelled. Biggs’s words must have brought her back to the situation at hand. “Run to the car,” she instructed Junior to be sure he was out of harm’s way. Then she continued to speak with Biggs. “I want to make you an offer.”
“Yes?” Biggs seemed interested.
“I have money, and I’m willing to give it all to you if you will release Breeze. Not only that, if you let him go I promise you will never see our faces again,” Trixy said as she started laying stacks of money on the ground.
“It’s about time I recoup some money!” Biggs replied as he walked closer to Trixy in order to retrieve the money from her.
“It’s all yours.” Trixy put her hand in the bag once again to pull out another stack of hundreds, but this time she came out with a gun.
Bang! One shot to the head and Biggs was down. Bang! Trixy didn’t hesitate to shoot Biggs in the head twice to make sure that motherfucker was dead. I grabbed the gun from her and we quickly picked up most of the money from the ground. Once we were done, we rushed back to the car. Once inside the car, Trixy hugged Junior so hard his chest started to hurt. I pulled out and sped off, hitting the highway toward the Outer Banks.
Chapter 28
Broken Hearted Trixy
Once we’d reached the Outer Banks I felt so relieved. We rented a beach house and relaxed, enjoying the ocean. We had been there for an entire week, just laying low. Funny thing was, I didn’t miss anything about Norfolk. I had started to wonder if me, Breeze, and Junior could just run away and start over someplace. It seemed like it was all falling into place. It all seemed too easy. I watched as Junior played in the sand while I sipped a cup of hot orange and spice tea, and Breeze drank a Heineken. It was so relaxing, smelling the ocean air and listening to the waves crashing. I felt the timing was perfect; I needed to confess to Breeze and ask for his forgiveness.