“Give me the fucking magazine. Now,” I glowered.
“Not until you calm down. You’re here to do recon. Not—”
“Give me my son! Where are you going!?”
“Mommy!”
My head whipped around and saw Vlad wrestling that kid away from Amberly. I shoved Ryker from me, ripping the magazine from his hands before I shoved it back into my gun. I took off in a stride, making my way for him. Ready to rip his head off. Ready to slice his throat clear down to his damn groin.
Especially once he slapped Amberly to the ground.
“Oh, no you fucking don’t,” I growled.
“Saint! Stop!” Ryker exclaimed.
“Give me my fucking son, you raging psychopath!”
Amberly turned and saw us, but my eyes weren’t trained on her. They were trained on the man scrambling into the car. She held out her hands briefly, trying to signal us to slow down. But it only caused me to speed up. He hit her. He fucking hit her so damn hard she hit the ground. It all happened so fast, I wasn’t even sure what had happened. Suddenly, Amberly’s head bounced against the asphalt. The kid screamed for his mother from the back of the car. Amberly was crying. The boy was shrieking. And Ryker kept yelling at me to stop.
“No. No, come back. Mason. Please! Come back with my baby boy!”
“Mommy! Don’t let him take me!”
Ryker grabbed my arm and spun me around. My eyes widened. My nostrils flared. And when his eyes came into view, I drew in a few deep breaths. His grip was so tight it made my veins bulge in my forearms. He silently walked me through a few breaths as I listened to Amberly heave on the ground. When the world stopped tilting over onto itself with my anger, he released me. Relinquished me back to the woman who knelt on the ground, sobbing for her son.
Sobbing for our son.
“Give me my son back,” she said breathlessly.
I turned around and saw Amberly standing up. I patted my hand against Ryker’s chest, letting him know he needed to follow me. I walked for her, watching as she slowly stood from the ground. She gazed off into the distance, wiping at her tears and breathlessly calling out for Mason. Her sweet boy. I placed my hand against her shoulder, trying to get her attention. Trying to let her know I was here, and that somehow—someway—things would be all right.
But she jumped. Not just around, but away from me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked.
As I gazed into her confused, tired, worried eyes, everything suddenly fell into place. Everything she refused to tell me finally made sense. Why she left. Why she didn’t contact me. Why she didn't come back to school, even though she went back to her parents. I couldn't imagine what she’d gone through as a child. As a young woman put in this situation. Constantly having her child held over her head.
And yet, I was still angry with her.
Still furious with the situation at hand.
“I asked what are you doing here, Saint.”
“Other than the fact that you stole my bike, I could ask you the same question,” I said.
“Saint, control yourself,” Ryker warned.
She paused. “How much did you see?”
I licked my lips. “Everything.”
“What do you mean by ‘everything?’ Did you see—”
She gazed into my eyes and it infuriated me that she still wasn’t saying anything.
“Say it, Amberly. At least have the guts to,” I said.
“Saint,” Ryker said harshly.
“Did you see my son?” Amberly whispered.
I took a step toward her and she stumbled back. Ryker grabbed my arm again, ready to pull me back at a moment’s notice. My anger spiraled through the damn roof. And while I didn’t want to yell at her, I did want to shake some fucking sense into her. After all this time, after all that had just happened, and she still didn’t want to say it?
“Do you really want to keep playing this game?” I asked.
“Please stop yelling,” Amberly said.
“Settle the fuck down, or you’re done,” Ryker murmured.
“You don’t even have the decency to tell me that I have a son!?” I exclaimed.
Amberly cupped her hands over her face, crying as my voice barreled out of my chest. Ryker stepped in front of me, pushing against my chest as he backed me away from her. Amberly turned her back to me, crying as she stumbled over to the motorcycle. I watched her lean against it, slip her leg over it. And my anger soon replaced itself with fear.
Fear that she’d run again.
“No, no. She’s gonna—Amberly! Don’t fucking leave again, damn it!” I exclaimed.
“Stop yelling!” she shrieked.
I felt a harsh tap against my face and found myself staring at Ryker again.
“You’re yelling at the mother of your child for something she has no control over. Get it together, or I’m calling Diesel,” he said.
My eyes darted around before Ryker’s hands fell away from my body. The kickstand of my bike went up and I strode around him, heading for Amberly. I straddled the front wheel of the bike, placing my hands against the handlebars. And when she slowly looked up at me, I saw something in her eyes that made me nauseous.
I saw a want to give up.
“I wanted to tell you so badly. But I didn’t know how,” she whispered.
“Then, tell me now. We have the time,” I said.
She shook her head. “We don’t. I have to go after my son. I have to go after—”
I sighed as her eyes fell to the ground.
“I have to go after our son, Saint,” she whispered.
I licked my lips again. “Why lie? After I took you away from that motel, why still lie to me? Why not trust that we could help you get him back?”
She shrugged. “It was just a lie that had gotten so big, you know? I didn’t know what you’d think after all these years. If you’d be upset with me like you are now, and if that would make you cast me back out into the street. Back then, it didn’t even occur to me to tell you because we were only eighteen. One hook-up between horny teenagers, and that was it.”
“That’s why you went back to your parents, isn’t it? You figured out you were pregnant.”
She nodded slowly. “Yeah. And I should’ve known it would’ve only made them banish me from their lives forever. Being pregnant as a teenager, and before they could marry me off to some guy in our church.”
I still felt the residual feelings of anger rushing through my body, but I also understood. Ryker had been right in his assessment, too. I mean, even if she had told me she was pregnant back in high school, what then? The fuck would I have done? I had been kicked to the curb, just like her. We would’ve been two lost strangers, trying to fight for our lives and figure out how to somehow be parents in the mix. I hadn’t been ready for a kid, and she hadn’t been, either.
“Does Vlad think Mason is his?” I asked.
Her lip trembled. “He did, until he figured out Mason wasn’t. That’s when I—”
I gripped the handlebars, trying not to unleash my anger again toward her.
“He threw you into those motels as punishment for Mason not being his,” I said.
And when she nodded slowly, I looked over at Ryker.
His eyes burned with the same fury that clenched my fists. I wanted to kill that man. I wanted to rip his spine out through his asshole and beat him with it. I slid my hands over Amberly’s, feeling them trembling as I gripped them softly. I drew in deep breaths, wanting nothing more than for her to feel comfortable with me again.
“I have to go after him,” she whispered.
“And we will. But we need to get you back first. We need a plan if we’re going to execute something like that,” I said.
“He’s going to kill him, Saint.”
I brought her hands to my lips, kissing them as her sobs poured forth.
“Not on my fucking watch,” I murmured.
I couldn't blame her for being panicked. Fo
r not knowing what to do. Carrying her away from that motel put our son’s life in jeopardy. She checked in to save him. To see him. Not to hurt me or betray us. And while I wished she would have told me of her own volition, it was out there now. Out there for us to deal with.
“I’m sorry. Please, I’m begging you not to be mad at me. I’ll do anything. I’ll let you do anything to me. Just please—”
“Shh, shh shh shh shh. It’s okay, Amberly. Nothing like that’s gonna happen. All right?” I asked.
“If it does, I’ll gladly take it. Just don’t be angry. I can’t handle that. Please. I wanted to tell you; I just couldn't figure out how. Please, I’m telling the truth now, I swear it,” she whispered.
I reached out and brushed her tears away. I stroked her cheek, watching as her entire body trembled against my bike. I slipped away from the front wheel and walked over to Ryker, motioning for him to go back to his own bike. We needed to get back. Diesel needed to know what the fuck was going on. And when Ryker finally backtracked to his own vehicle, I slung my leg over mine.
“Hold tight, okay? I’ll get you back to the clubhouse safely,” I said.
“Vlad made me promise to feed him information, but I don’t even know if I’m supposed to do that now,” she said breathlessly.
“We’ll figure it out, okay? Let’s get back there, get some food, and then we’ll pick through what’s happened.”
“Do you hate me?”
I cranked the engine. “I could never hate the mother of my child, Amberly. That isn’t how I operate.”
As she wrapped her arms around me, a peace came over me. A determination, unlike any other, to save my family. I trained my sights for the clubhouse as I drove us out of the restaurant, feeling Ryker behind me all the way. Amberly clung to me with her weakened arms. Her cheek pressed against my back. I kept my eyes trained ahead, but kept my ears trained for anything that might have been creeping up on us.
Like Vlad or his fucking cronies.
We rode in silence all the way back to the clubhouse. I parked my bike, watching as the curtains moved on the windows. I didn’t know who knew what, but it was obvious people were looking out for us. Waiting for our arrival back. I slung my leg over my bike and picked Amberly up in my arms. I cradled her close, feeling her sob against the crook of my neck. Ryker trotted in front of us, opening the clubhouse doors. And as I faced a massive sea of people’s faces, Ryker only said one thing.
“You were right, Diesel. Let’s give them some space.”
I looked over at our president and the look that crossed his face was one of pity. One of hurt. And one of determination. The sea of people parted as if I were Moses, and I walked Amberly back to my bedroom. I closed the door with my foot, allowing us a moment of privacy. I toed off my boots before sitting on the edge of my bed, feeling her heave she was crying so hard.
“It’s okay. You’re safe with us. Just don’t run from us again, okay?” I asked softly.
And once I felt her nod her head against the crook of my neck, I settled us back. Watching her fall off to my side, curling into me with all her might.
22
Amberly
I couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't get my body to stop shaking. As I cried against Saint’s side, he pulled me closer. His fingers rushed through my hair, his voice filling my ears with his soft words.
“It’s okay. You’re safe with us. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.”
And his words caused me to cling harder to him.
I didn’t want him going anywhere. I didn’t want to be alone. He was my only hope at getting my son back. Well, our son back. I sniffled before I coughed. He turned onto his side, pressing into me as we shared the same pillow. His fingertips brushed away the tears from my cheeks, but some slid down the nape of my neck.
“You need to breathe. Just a bit for me, okay, Amberly?” he asked.
I relaxed into his voice. I pressed my leg between his thighs, feeling his warm strength encompassing me. His arm slid around my waist as he splayed his hand across my lower back, pulling me steadier to him. My body molded to him, giving way to him. And as our foreheads fell together, his lips pressed the softest kiss against my cheek.
Before I sniffled again.
“It’s okay,” he whispered.
I shook my head. “No. It’s not. He saw you there. He took Mason. He’s going t—”
“No, he won’t. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“How can you do that?” I asked, whispering.
He cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin. My eyes found his as my body continued to tremble. Not because I was cold, but because I was scared. I searched his eyes for answers. For a plan. For a way to get our son back. For a way to get Mason in my arms again.
“They’re using him against me,” I said breathlessly.
“I know,” Saint said, nodding.
“They’re holding him captive. That—that’s the first time I’ve seen him face to face in almost—”
“How long, Amberly?”
“Three years.”
“Fuck.”
“They let me see videos. Hear his voice. But that was the first time I smelled the top of his head. Or felt him in my arms. Or felt his breath against my ear. Or played any games with him. I need my son back. You can’t let them kill my—”
His thumb slid along my lower lip, pausing my words in their tracks.
“They won’t kill our son. We’ll get him back, Amberly. I promise you that,” he said.
“Our son,” I whispered.
“Yes. Our son. But this next part is really important, okay?”
“Okay. What is it?”
“What did you and—Vlad?—talk about?”
“Vlad. Yes. Um, he was talking about his boss. About how I was situated in a prime position to get information and feed it back to him.”
“Probably Lars,” he murmured.
“Probably, yes,” I said.
“What kind of information?”
“He wants information on how you guys plan on retaliating. Probably where your secret stashes are, or whatever. Where your next hideout might be. Vlad was very specific on your short-term plans, though. Your movements. How you guys intended on protecting yourselves at this point and how you guys figured out about the motels. But—”
“But what?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I mean, when he saw you guys, I could have sworn I heard him say the deal was off. All of it. Which means he’s going to kill Mason, Saint. He’s going to take our boy away from us. We have to go after him. We have to do something.”
“Amberly, listen to me.”
“He’s our boy,” I whispered.
He cupped my cheeks and rolled me over, pressing me into the mattress. I gazed into his eyes, mine dancing frantically between his. His thumb stroked me as my body parted for him. He slid between my legs, gracing me with his warmth as he blanketed me with comfort. With strength. With a heat that made me shiver from the inside out.
“I know he is. Which is why no harm will come to him. I promise you that. We will do everything we can to get Mason back. You have my word,” Saint said.
“What if he’s already dead, Saint?”
It worried me, the pause he gave. It worried me, how much he had to rack his brain for an answer. It worried me, how long it took for him to draw in that deep breath of his.
“Men like Lars don’t like getting their hands dirty. And they usually don’t like their right-hand men—like Vlad—doing it either. Mason’s a child, which would make any man’s stomach curl. Mason will exchange many different hands before any sort of fate like that even looms over his head. Trust me on this,” he said.
And even though I wanted to ask him why it took him so long to answer, I didn’t. I allowed myself to cling onto the hope he tried so desperately to feed me.
“Okay,” I said.
His forehead fell back against mine and the words poured from my lips like melted butt
er. Words I should’ve already uttered to him, especially with the kindness he’d already showed me.
“I’m sorry, Saint. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. You were right. I should've come back to you. After my parents rejected taking me back because I was pregnant, I should’ve found you in school.”
“It’s okay. I promise, it’s okay,” he said softly.
“I should’ve come back to you and I didn’t and I’m so sorry. I keep running and I don’t know why and I just want to stop running but now Mason is taken and I need to run after him but you’re telling me not to and everything within me is just—”
His lips pressed against mine and the world stopped. My words caught in my throat as his tongue slowly filled my mouth. I moaned down his throat. My arms slid around his neck as my nipples puckered in all the right ways. Goosebumps of joy fled up and down my skin. My thighs contracted, anticipating his next move. His hands caressed my body. His fingers slid through my hair. He propped himself up onto his knees, spreading my legs even further for him.
And for once, I wasn’t afraid.
“I love you, Amberly.”
He murmured it so softly I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. His lips fell away from mine and my eyes shot open, searching his face for any sign of a joke. He raised us, sliding his jacket from his shoulders. He shed his shirt. His belt. He even unbuckled his jeans as I laid there, staring at him. And when his hands fell back down to the bed, pressed into the mattress on either side of my head, my heart came alive.
“You—you what?” I asked.
He grinned. “I love you. From the first moment I laid eyes on you in that classroom, I loved you. From the first moment I tasted your lips in that stairwell, I loved you. I didn’t have a word for it then, but I do now.”
His hand crept up my shirt and electricity filled my body. I rolled against him, my eyes fluttering closed as he worked his hand underneath my bra. My nipple stood at attention for him. He tugged on it softly, causing me to moan out. Involuntary sounds that made me wet between my legs for the first time since high school.
“Saint,” I whispered.
His lips pressed against my ear. “I love you, Amberly. And as God as my witness, our family will be together again.”
Dead Souls MC: Prospects Series Books 1-5 Page 43