by Naomi Niles
"So, what do we do now?" Tate asked as the frown lines on his handsome face creased.
"All you can do is wait," Tom said. Tate wrote him a check for his services for the day, and the lawyer left.
Tate and I were finally alone. I had hoped he would pull me into his arms and make love to me to celebrate, but he had a distracted look in eyes as he excused himself to his office.
"I have a lot of work to do," he said, indicating for me to leave.
"Okay. Well, I guess I'll go to the nursery and spend some time with Halle."
"You don't need to bother. I just came from there and she's having a great time with her mother. Missy said she'd put Halle to bed tonight and even wants to take care of her in the morning. She promised Halle she'd make her pancakes for breakfast."
Moisture sprang unwelcomed to my eyes. Making pancakes had been my thing with Halle, and now that ex-stripper junkie was taking that away from me, too. I forced the tears back and said, "Wow, that's a lot of responsibility. Maybe I should help her."
"No. Let Missy do it. It's good to see her turning things around. If she can be the mother that Halle deserves, then maybe she won't need a full-time nanny anymore."
"Yeah. I suppose not." I swallowed hard. "I guess I'll just go to bed early. Do you want me to wait up in your room tonight?"
"This work is going to take hours," he said. "It's been a long day. You can sleep in your own bed, if you want, and catch up on your sleep."
"Okay. When you get done, knock on my door, and I can still join you," I offered.
"Thanks, but don't count on it." He didn’t even look up from his computer. I closed the door behind me, refusing to let him see the tears slip from my eyes.
Just when I'd been daring to hope that Tate might want me to be a permanent part of his life, it looked like he no longer needed me at all.
Chapter Forty-Six: Tate
"Daddy, wake up." Halle came into my office, startling me awake from where I'd fallen asleep at my desk. Yesterday had been such a long day, I'd wanted to get some work done before going to bed. I'd really wanted take Rachelle up on her offer to join me, but apparently, I'd passed out at my computer, instead.
"Good morning, sweetheart." I smiled. Halle entered the room hesitantly, wearing nothing but her undershirt and Disney princess panties, with her hair in disarray. I welcomed my precious daughter into my arms. It was hard to believe that soon she'd be four years old. As I brushed her halo of chocolate curls back from her face, I saw she wore a worried expression. "What's wrong, sweetheart? Where are your clothes? Why aren't you downstairs having breakfast?"
"Mommy was supposed to have breakfast with me, but when I went to her room, she wouldn't wake up. I shook her and shook her, and she opened her eyes. Then she threw up on me." Halle started to cry, her little shoulders shaking as she sobbed.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Everything will be okay."
"I took off my yucky dress and tried to clean her up, but she yelled at me to go away. Is Mommy going to die?" she quavered.
"Not unless I kill her," I mumbled.
"What?" She stopped crying to listen closely to my words.
"No. Mommy is not going to die," I stated firmly. "I'll take care of everything."
I carried Halle down the hall to Rachelle's room. She was just coming out, looking beautiful as always, and stopped with an angry look on her face when I nearly ran into her.
"Tate, I hope you slept well last night," she said in a strange voice, and I knew she was mad I hadn't gone to her last night. She couldn't be nearly as disappointed as I was about it, though.
"Not really, but it was a better night than this morning is turning out to be," I replied, and Rachelle took in the sight of Halle's disheveled appearance.
"My goodness. What's going on?" Her anger at me evaporated as she reached for my daughter and pulled her lovingly into her arms. In a sing-song voice, she said to the child, "Let's get you cleaned up and dressed for the day. Are you feeling sick?"
"No, but Mommy is," Halle said plaintively, and Rachelle looked at me with concern.
"Can you take Halle while I check on Missy?" I said. I kept my voice light, trying not to alarm Halle. I just hoped Rachelle could read between the lines.
"Of course. I didn't think you needed me anymore," she said, sounding touched and relieved.
"I always need you," I told her, and my voice deepened.
"You do?" Rachelle flushed. "With Missy here now, and the investigation pretty well settled, I thought maybe you didn't need me anymore... And then when you didn't knock on my door last night, I was sure of it."
I caressed her cheek and stared into her eyes. "When I said I was too tired last night, that's all there was to it. It didn't mean I no longer needed you. In fact, being with you when we're not doing that has become even more meaningful to me, than... you know."
"What?" Halle asked innocently, but Rachelle and I both ignored the question.
"I know." Rachelle smiled at me demurely. She set Halle down, and we shared an intimate kiss, full of caring and passion.
Halle tugged at my suit jacket. "What's you know? What is it?"
"One day when you're older, you'll know," I said to my daughter, and Rachelle stifled a giggle.
Taking Halle's hand, Rachelle led her back to the nursery, saying, "Come on, let's get you dressed, and we'll go make pancakes together."
"What about Stuart?" she asked.
"He won't be making breakfast anymore, or lunch, or dinner. Don't worry, though. I'm a pretty good cook."
"What about Mommy?" Halle asked as they entered the nursery
"Don't worry about her, either. Your daddy will take care of her," I heard Rachelle say.
"You know what, Rachelle? I wish you could be my mommy," Halle said, and I felt my heart melt.
"I'd like that, too," Rachelle agreed.
With my hand on my heart, I thought how great that would be. Unfortunately, Halle already had a mother that I had to go tend to right now.
I jogged down the stairs to the guest room. I pushed open the door, and the stench hit me so hard, I staggered back.
"Christ, Missy. I can't ask Emma to clean this up without tripling her pay. You're gonna have to do it. Come on, let's get you up."
She was semi-conscious as I dragged her from the middle of the bedroom into the adjoining bathroom and shoved her in the shower. She screamed and thrashed violently, trying to escape when I turned the cold water on full blast.
"You stay in there and clean yourself up," I shouted over her incoherent stream of curse words.
She found the handle for the hot water and turned it rapidly, changing the shower spray from ice cold to lukewarm. She peeled the soiled clothes from her body and thrust them at me, saying lewdly, "You like looking at me naked?"
"Not like this." I sighed as she gave me the finger. I used her wet clothes to clean up the mess off the bedroom floor as best I could and dumped them in the garbage can. Then I tied the plastic bag in a knot and took the whole thing outside to get it out of the house.
When I came back in, Emma was already scrubbing the guest bedroom floor with pine-scented cleanser.
"You don't have to do that," I said to her gratefully. "I'm going to make Missy clean up her own mess."
"It's okay. I'd rather have it done right," she said, still scrubbing. "I take pride in keeping this house nice, and she'd just ruin it. Besides, she's got other messes she can clean up – like her life."
"Remind me to give you a huge bonus for this." I smiled at the old maid. She was cranky and sometimes belligerent, but she had a good heart, and I appreciated her wisdom.
In the bathroom, I could hear Missy wretching again. At least this time she was in the shower, so it washed down the drain. By the time she finished cleaning herself with soap and water and stepped out of the shower clean, Emma had finished with carpet and left.
"Feeling better?" I asked Missy as she came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, her blue-black hair d
ripping down her back.
"I feel like shit. Got anything to take the edge off?" She leaned on me with one arm wrapped around my shoulder and held out her other hand, asking for me to fill it.
"No. There's no alcohol in this house." I slapped her hand back with a glare.
"Sure there is. How do you think I got drunk last night?" she said, hanging all over me.
"I don't know. How did you get drunk last night?" I shoved her off of me, and she staggered back, regaining her balance. "The last time I saw you, you were in the nursery playing with our daughter. How the hell did you wind up passed out drunk, lying in a pool of your own vomit this morning?"
"Relax. I needed to unwind, so I just took a few pills at the end of the day."
"In front of our daughter?" I was livid with rage.
"No, in my room. I can do whatever the fuck I want in my room," Missy said belligerently, then in one of her typical mood swings, she became contrite. "Don't worry, the kid was asleep; I made sure of that. She's really a sweet damn kid. It's hard to believe she's mine."
"I agree," I muttered under my breath. I began searching her room for the pills, but when I found an empty bottle, I knew they were already gone. I tossed the bottle across the room angrily, wishing I could have hit her with it, but I aimed at the wall, instead.
"Hey, watch it. I know you like it rough with your little nanny whore, but I'm not that kind of girl. I'm the mother of your child, damn it," she complained, but I didn't care.
"What else did you take with the pills?" I demanded of her angrily.
"Nothing. I don't mix drugs."
"What else did you take? Tell me now, or I'll take you the hospital. They can pump your stomach and figure it out that way."
"Nothing, asshole. Just a little drink, that's all."
"You mixed alcohol with drugs. Jesus, don't you know how deadly that can be?"
"Look, I'm fine. I hate that sparkling water crap you got around here, so I just poured a drink to wash it down. That's all."
I found the liquor bottle under her bed; it was empty, too. "Where'd you get this? I had Emma throw all the liquor out when you showed up. There's none in the house."
"I had a friend over. What's the big deal? You fuck the nanny. Aren't I allowed to have a boyfriend?"
"No, you can't. That was part of the deal when I said you could stay here. No men over. I don't want a bunch of strangers in my house."
"Oh, I see. You're jealous." Missy tried to look sexy as she sauntered towards me in her towel, but I kept well out of her reach. She disgusted me. It was impossible to believe she had once been a sexy and vibrant woman. Now she was nothing but a strung-out junkie with dark circles under her gaunt eyes and a sickly yellow pallor to her craggy skin.
She was saying, "You want me all for yourself, and yet you play hard to get. Kinky."
"I'm sick of this bullshit!" I shouted with rage. "I've been putting up with you for years because I thought it was the right thing to do for Halle, but instead of helping you get better, I'm just enabling you to get worse. Well, no more. Letting Halle see you like this was the last straw."
"What are you saying?" Missy looked truly scared.
"I'm saying it's time for you to get clean or get out. No more drugs. No more pills. No more alcohol. If you take of them, you're out of here. No more allowance, no more chauffeured car, no more free meals, and no more free place to stay. I'm cutting you off completely unless you get clean and sober – and stay that way."
"You're joking, right?" Missy tried to laugh it off, but when she saw the look in my eyes, she knew I was dead serious. She went through the entire gamut of emotions, trying everything she could to change my mind, crying, shouting, begging; but nothing worked.
Seeing the look on Halle's face when she asked me if her mother was going to die had changed me. I'd thought I was doing the right thing by allowing Missy to come and go over the years, supporting her habit; but I knew now that I was wrong.
As she continued to alternate between ranting and begging, I said in a quiet, stern voice, "Get yourself checked into a rehab program. I'll pay for any you want, and as long as you follow the program, you can stay. Otherwise, get out and never come back."
"I'm Halle's mother; you can't do this to me!" she screeched.
"Halle would be better off with no mother at all than seeing one who is a junkie. I realized that today for the first time. I won't put her through that again. This offer is final. Get clean, Missy, or you'll never see her again."
"I can pick any program I want?" She wiped her running nose with the back of her arm.
"Yes. I'll pay the cost in full."
"And, I can still stay here and spend time with Halle?" Missy looked at me with childlike eyes.
"Yes."
"All right. I'll do it, but this blackmail."
"This is for your own good. One day, you'll thank me." I smiled at her.
"Well, not today. Fuck off. Let me be alone for a little while, you sick pervert." She hugged her towel tightly to her naked body, and I left her in peace.
It seemed doubtful to me that she would stick to any rehab program for very long, but at least she was willing to sign up for one. It was a good start.
I meant what I'd said about cutting her off and kicking her out. Tough love was going to have to be the new way of dealing with her. Missy needed to get her life together so she could survive on her own – especially if I was going to ask Rachelle to live with me as my girlfriend and maybe even marry me someday.
The last thing she'd want was my junkie baby-mama hanging around. That was too far in the future to think about too much, however. First, I needed to get through this murder investigation and getting Stuart prosecuted. I was like a juggler in the circus with too many balls in the air. Advancing my relationship with Rachelle was just one more ball than I could handle right now, which was too bad because she brought me joy.
If it wasn't for Rachelle, the strain of all this crap would surely have driven me crazy. She made me feel calm and truly happy. I wanted to tell her that I'd fallen in love with her, but I couldn't. Not until everything else calmed down.
Emotionally exhausted from dealing with Missy, I went back up the stairs to the nursery. Breakfast was long over, and Halle and Rachelle would be there playing, but I was surprised to find the room was empty, so I returned to my office in hopes of getting some work done.
"There you are," Rachelle greeted me with a smile as I entered the room to find her standing there.
"I was just looking for you in the nursery," I explained.
"We nearly missed each other.” She greeted me with a kiss.
Her lips tasted so sweet, and it felt so good to have her soft round breasts pressed against my chest. I held her tight and savored the moment. Then something suddenly occurred to me, and I pulled back cautiously.
“Where is Halle?”
"Don't worry; she's with Emma. After breakfast, Halle asked if she could help her clean, and Emma said she'd teach her. She was so excited; it was really cute.”
"Which one, Emma or Halle?" I joked.
"Both.” Rachelle grinned, and I couldn't help but kiss her lips again.
She reached down and stroked my erection through my pants and said with a wink, "Looks like someone else is feeling excited, too."
I grabbed her roughly by the hair and took her sassy mouth with my own, kissing her passionately. My hand ran up underneath her blouse to grab her bare breasts, rubbing her nipple with my thumb. A moan of pleasure escaped her throat as I pushed all the items off my desk, onto the floor. I hoisted Rachelle up onto the desk, and she spread her thighs wide for me. I was just about to go down on her when suddenly the loud ring of a phone interrupted our fun.
"Damn it!” I groaned in frustration.
"Don't answer it. Just let it ring.” She winked.
"No, I have to get it. It might be Tandy with information about Stuart." I scrambled on the floor for my phone.
“In that case, answer
it before he hangs up." Rachelle found the phone first, picked the receiver up, and handed it to me hurriedly.
"Tate Holland, here," I answered, my voice tight.
"It's me." I recognized the voice of my attorney. "I have good news and bad news."
"What is it?" I wanted to know, and yet I was afraid to hear what he had to say.
"Miller picked up Stuart Haynes last night. He questioned him all night long, but the bastard wouldn't give up a thing. He kept maintaining his innocence and denied all your accusations. He claims that he and Rose were just friends and that if anyone killed her, it was you."
"Shit. What's the good news?"
"That was the good news,” he said dryly. "The bad news is Stuart made bail this morning, and the police had no choice but to release him.”
“So that's it, then?” I clenched my fists in frustration. Rachelle came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders, trying to soothe me. "So the bastard just gets away with it, and Miller keeps thinking that I'm the one who killed Rose?”
"No," Tom insisted "There's still the forensic evidence being analyzed down in the lab. Miller says we should have the results by this afternoon and the moment he gets them, he'll give me a call. He said when he interviewed Stuart, he could tell the bastard was lying, but he just needs some evidence to back it up. Miller wants to put Stuart away just as badly as you do."
"I doubt that,” I mumbled under my breath, "What the hell do I do now?”
"Just hang tight. I know it's tough, but the forensics will be back soon and then Miller will have what he needs to hold Stuart with no bail. You just have to be patient a little while longer," he said and hung up the line.
"What did he say?” Rachelle asked, her blue eyes wide. I hesitated to tell her. I knew how upset she had been having Stuart in the house after learning he was the one who had assaulted her. I didn't know how she would react to the news that he was out on bail, walking the streets free. Still, I couldn't lie to her. With a deep sigh, I told her everything Tom had said to me.