by Naomi Niles
"Then, where does she sleep when she's not here?" I couldn't imagine what it must be like to live that kind of existence. My relationship with my family meant everything to me. If I didn't have Mama, I'd be lost, very much like Missy was.
"She stays with friends or whoever her boyfriend of the month might be. She goes through them quickly and burns her bridges fast. When she builds up too big a debt and owes them too much money for rent or drugs, that's when she comes back here to lay low for a while. She always begs me for more money, and if I don't give it to her, I know she'll just steal something she can use to pay for her damn drugs. I never thought she would take her daughter, but I should have."
"You can't read her mind," I comforted him with a kiss on the cheek, but Tate was too restless with guilt. He pulled away from me and started pacing the living room floor.
"No, but I should have. Missy's mind isn't that complex. She's destroyed too many brain cells with drugs and alcohol. I told Detective Miller everything I know about her current hangouts. It shouldn't be too hard to outsmart her and figure out where she's gone. I just wish I could do more besides sitting around here with my thumb up my ass."
"Do you know the passwords for her bank account or computer?" I asked hopefully. Tate got on his laptop and started typing frantically.
As I leaned over his shoulder to look, he shook his head miserably. "No activity on her bank account. The balance is the same as it was yesterday."
"What about social media or email?" I suggested. He typed some more, searching all the accounts he knew about and even trying some others with passwords he knew she frequently used.
"She had some messages from friends asking her when she could hang out, but she didn't respond to any of them," he said after a while.
"I guess we could track them down one by one and wait for her to contact them," I suggested lamely.
"They use disposable cell phones, and most of them don't have physical addresses. They stay in homeless shelters, crash in each other's apartments, or sleep under bridges."
"So, what can we do?" I asked hopelessly. He just slumped and hung his head.
As bad as I felt, things must be so much worse for him. While I was just Halle's nanny, he was her daddy. He'd changed her diapers, fed her bottles, and kissed away her tears. I couldn't imagine what he must be going through, and my admiration for him increased as he showed such courage in circumstances where anyone else would have become hysterical.
"I guess we could try to find a drug dealer," Tate said, and I felt taken aback. He grabbed his wallet and flipped through the cash in it. Satisfied that he had enough, he folded it and put it back in his pocket, then grabbed his jacket.
Heading for the door, he explained, "There's a place I just thought of where Missy would sometimes go when she needed to buy drugs, and her regular sources are unavailable. She might try to go there to get a fix. I don't know if it will work, but even if we don't find her there, we might find somebody who's seen her. It's worth a try. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"It's better than sitting around here, going crazy. Let me come with you," I said, eager to help.
"No. It's too dangerous."
"I can handle myself," I insisted, battling him for the doorknob.
"I know you can, but I can't handle losing you right now. I need to know you're here where it's safe." Tate gazed into my eyes tenderly, and I felt my heart melt. "Besides, someone should be here in case they come home."
"Like that could happen," I scoffed, but I shouldn't have.
Suddenly, the front door swung open, and Missy and Halle came striding through it, looking happy and carefree. A box of donuts from a nearby bakery was clutched in Halle's hands, while Missy held several cups of steaming hot coffee in a cardboard tray holder.
"Who wants breakfast?" Missy sang as she handed a cup of coffee to me and then one to Tate.
"Where the hell have you been?" he raged at her.
"Mommy and me got doughnuts for breakfast." Halle beamed in response. She set down the box on the nearest end table and opened the lid to show them off.
Relief flooded through me as I hugged her tight, but Tate was livid with rage.
"You could have left a note telling me where you'd gone. I've been worried sick." His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, and I knew the only thing keeping him from throttling her to death was his daughter standing just a few feet away.
"Relax." Missy rolled her eyes and fluffed her hair. Her clothes were too tight and too short, and she looked like she didn't have a care in the world. Sitting on the arm of Tate's expensive imported chair, she said defensively, "With the chef gone, I thought it would be a nice surprise to get breakfast for everyone. Now that I see the thanks I'm getting, I should have just let you all starve."
"That would have been preferable," he said ungratefully. "Didn't you consider what effect it would have on me to wake up this morning and find her gone without a word?"
"She was with me. Aren't I allowed to take my own daughter out for doughnuts if I want to?" Missy was the one who was angry now.
"Of course you are, but why the hell are her clothes all missing from her dresser and closet? I thought you'd..."
He couldn't finish the thought, it was so emotionally upsetting; but he didn't have to. Missy's eyes flashed with rage.
"You thought I fucking took her? Well, screw you." She shot up off the couch and gave Tate a shove on the shoulder that was so hard, he staggered back.
Catching her bony wrist in his hand, he said firmly, "So, where are all her clothes?"
"Halle moved them to my room herself, early this morning before I even woke up. I told her we'd have to put them back in the nursery where they belong after we'd had breakfast. That's why I wanted to take her out for a special treat."
"You moved all your clothes?" Tate asked Halle softly, and the little girl nodded solemnly. Her cascade of dark curly hair bounced around her shoulders, and her hazel green eyes, just like her fathers, were large and wide.
"I want to stay with Mommy, like we did in the hotel," she pleaded. "Can I, Daddy? Please?"
"We'll talk about that later," he said with a heavy sigh. "Go upstairs with Rachelle and play. I need to talk to your mother alone."
"Come on, Halle. Let's play tea party." I held out my hand to the little girl with an encouraging smile. She hesitated for just a moment, looking back longingly at her parents as they both glared at each other intensely. Then she took my hand and let me lead her up the stairs to the safe familiarity of the nursery.
"Take care of my kid for me, but don't get too comfortable," Missy called up to me with a venomous glare. "After all, she's mine and wants to be with me now. There's no more need for a paid whore like you here."
Chapter Fifty-Two: Tate
The moment Halle was gone, I got on the phone and called Detective Miller to tell him Halle had been found.
"Are you sure you don't want to press charges for kidnapping?" Miller had asked with his usual gruff tone.
"No charges. The child was with her mother. I'm just relieved they're both home safe. Let's not make things more complicated than they need to be," I had said, but the moment I hung up the line, Missy made me regret that decision.
"If you're going to press charges on anyone, how about that whore for prostitution," she laughed.
"Stop calling her that," I said angrily.
"Who?" she mocked.
"You damn well know who. I don't want to hear you calling Rachelle a whore again. Not to her face, not even behind her back. You had no right to insult her the way you did, especially in front of Halle.
"Why not? She's just the hired help. I can talk to her any damn way I want." Missy plopped her gaunt frame onto the couch and propped her feet up on the table, intentionally scuffing my imported furniture.
"I've always treated my employees with respect, and I insist that you do, too." I glared at her.
"Does that include the times you're paying them to fuck you?" she t
aunted, and there was no argument I could make. "I'm Halle's mother, and I believe that ranks me above the hired whore you've got watching our daughter. If I say the nanny is out, then she should be out."
"Stop calling her that, and you have no right to tell Rachelle to leave," I growled, barely keeping my rage in check. Missy was trying to bait me, and I had to call upon all my willpower to keep from losing my temper with her.
"Just because you're in love with her, doesn't mean I have to be." She uncrossed her legs in a very unladylike fashion, attempting to seduce me. Her pale skin was no longer that sickly shade of yellow it had been for so long, but there was no way I could find her sexually attractive anymore after all we'd been through over the years. I'd seen too much to ever look at her that way.
"I'm not the person I used to be. I can take care of our daughter now – and everything else the nanny used to do for you."
Missy curled her arms around me, winding her limbs around my torso like a python with its prey. Slipping out of her grip, I said forcefully, "Forget it. There's nothing between us, there never really was. We tried to make things work between us for that short time when you first moved in, but it wasn't meant to be. So, forget it."
"Fine. Your loss." Missy pushed past me with an exaggerated pout. She flopped back down on the couch and paid undue attention to her nails, as if she didn't care. Speaking casually, she said, "We don't need you anyway."
"We?" I rose to her bait, unable to withhold my curiosity. The bitch was up to something, and I had to know what it was.
"Halle and me. She got to spend the first three years of her life with her father, even though most of that time she was actually under the care of a parade of slutty nannies. Now it's time for her to spend her time with me: her reformed mother. After all, experts agree that children benefit from being in the care of their mother, and you do want what's best for her, don't you?"
"It's very nice that you've been spending so much time with Halle," I said with a conciliatory smile, hoping this would assuage her. "Once you complete your rehab, I hope you'll continue to spend even more time with her."
"Oh, that won't be a problem." She grinned at me with such malevolence, I nearly flinched. With a haughty flip of her hair, she said, "The rehab center you agreed to pay for believes nothing is more important than bringing families together. That's why they're going to help me get custody of Halle as part of their program."
"What the hell are you talking about?" My hand clenched so hard, my fingers actually ached.
"The Family First Center." She batted her lashes at me, and I felt a stab of pain as I remembered writing them a check for her enrollment. "They believe nothing motivates an addict to stay clean better than their love of family. They believe children are less likely to become addicts themselves if they can be raised by a loving mother, and that parents can find the strength to resist relapsing if they have children depending on them. It's a positive circle of motivation and love, and it's already paid for."
"I think that's great. Go to the Family First Center, follow the program, and use Halle as your motivation to get clean and stay clean. Nothing would make me prouder," I called her bluff, but there was more to it that I wasn't prepared for.
"Oh, that's the great thing about Family First. Patients don't stay in the center. The counselors are going to help me get a job and then move into my own apartment. Halle will have her own bedroom. It will be a real home."
"You expect me to let her spend the night for visitation?" I was flabbergasted. No way would I ever let my little girl spend the night alone with this untrustworthy junkie bitch. A few days of being clean didn't make up for a lifetime of getting drunk and high, making irresponsible choices, and neglecting her child. Missy was lucky I even let her be in Halle's life at all.
"Of course not." She smiled in response to my question. "Halle's going to come live with me."
"Good luck with that," I laughed.
"Thanks, but you're the one who's going to need all the luck. The Center is going to help me get sole custody of Halle. Their team of attorneys are experts at family law. They know all the tricks to helping a person like me gain sympathy with the judge, and they tell me I'm the perfect candidate. Halle will be all mine, and you'll be the one getting visitation."
"You can't do that." My heart tightened with fear.
"I've already started." She batted her lashed with feigned innocence.
"With my money?" I emphasized. "How do you think a judge will feel about the fact that I'm the one who's been supporting Halle all these years, and you, too, for that matter?"
"It doesn't matter, since you're not going to tell him." Her expression turned to one of deadly ice.
"The hell I won't. If you try to take custody of Halle away from me, I'll tell the judge everything. I'll tell him how you were a stripper when we met and how you tricked me into having sex with you by drugging me. I'll tell him about how you practically sold Halle to me in exchange for money to buy drugs when she was just an infant, and how I've been paying you a monthly allowance out of the kindness of my own heart while being her sole provider ever since."
"Don't act so superior. You should be the one thanking me. You never would have known she was even born if I hadn't told you."
"But once I found out, I did everything for her and for you. Clothes, food, diapers, toys, medical expenses... Halle has everything she has because of me, and the same goes for you. I give you a place to stay, food to eat, clothes, and a monthly allowance. I've even paid for the rehab program that you're trying to use against me."
"That's not all you've paid for," she fired back, her voice dripping with innuendo.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"The nannies," Missy said pointedly. I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest.
"What do they have to do with anything?" I asked, but my skin had turned pale, and it was obvious she had me.
"You know." Missy grinned like a cat. "And, the judge will know when I tell him, and your little girlfriend upstairs will know, too."
"Rachelle?" It pissed me off that Missy never called Rachelle by her name, but she was doing it on purpose just to irk me.
"That's right. Does she know the truth about your past? Does she know the dark little secret that you never told the others?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. You're delusional from the drugs," I tried to bluff.
"Am I? Well, perhaps we should just go upstairs and tell Rachelle right now and see what she thinks."
I grabbed her roughly by the arm when she started for the stairs. Unable to hide my panic, I cried out "Wait. Don't."
"What's the matter? Are you afraid she wouldn't understand? Are you afraid she'll look at you differently? That she won't love you anymore?
“It's certainly a reasonable reaction. I know how I felt when I discovered the truth. I could hardly stand to look at you, and we never had the kind of relationship you two share. I can just imagine how she'll react to the news. It could be life-changing for her – devastating."
"What do you want, Missy?" I growled, digging into her bony wrist.
She glared down pointedly at my grip, and I released my hold on her.
Clutching her arm protectively, she said simply, "I want to be Halle's mother again, without any interference from you. As long as I get to parent her, then I won't say a word about your past; but the moment you get in my way, I'll reveal all your dirty secrets. We'll see who comes out on top then."
Chapter Fifty-Three: Rachelle
The housekeeper, Emma, had made my life so miserable for most of my stay at the Holland Mansion. The cranky fifty-year-old was always looking down at me with such disapproval, with her mousy brown hair pulled back in a rigid bun, and her pinched face. There were times I would have given anything to have gotten ridden of her.
But as I carried the final load of Halle's clothes up the long flight of stairs from Missy's bedroom all the way back to nursery, I actually found myself missing the crank
y bitch.
Despite her judgmental attitude, she'd run this house with efficiency. The beds had always been made, the furniture dusted, the antiques polished to a shine, and the laundry had always been folded and neatly put away. She did it all with an effortless effectiveness that I had quickly come to appreciate.
One by one, I carefully placed Halle's tiny tee shirts and pink leggings in her dresser just as Emma would have and hung her ruffled dresses in the nursery closet. It was amazing that the little girl had the ability to move her entire wardrobe down to Missy's bedroom downstairs, and I supposed it was a testament to how much the little girl loved her biological mother.
At least, that's what Missy would have had everyone believe, but I still clung to something odd the little girl had whispered to me when I brought up the first load of clothes, and she'd wrapped her tiny arms around me in a hug.
"I'm sorry you have to put all my clothes back. I just wanted to be with Mommy before she goes away again. She's just visiting. You're here all the time. You're here for me always, not just a visitor."
The words spoken in such haste had broken my heart, and I wanted to talk to Halle about it, but then Missy had pulled her away from me.
"Let the hired help do her job," she had said, yanking rather roughly on Halle's delicate little arm. "Let's you and I play together. You have a lot more fun with me than you do with the nanny, don't you?"
"I like playing with you, Mommy," Halle had agreed, but the way her hazel green eyes glistened when she looked back over her shoulder at me told me there was more that she couldn't say at the moment.
So, I ignored Missy's insults and did my job, putting away Halle's clothes and then going down to the kitchen to cook her lunch. With Emma still healing and Stuart hiding from the law, a lot of extra duties now fell on my shoulders.
Since I was suddenly both maid and cook, I suppose I should have been grateful to have the burden of watching Halle lifted from my shoulders by Missy, but that was the one task that felt more like a joy than a chore. Plus, Missy's constant insults and condescending jabs really rankled me. If it weren't for Halle always watching, I'd have put the junkie in her place – but that would have been traumatic to Halle, so I was forced to take the high road and remain silent.