by Naomi Niles
“If I commit to this man, I’m going to spend the rest of my life worrying about him,” I sighed.
“That’s true,” she nodded. “But the alternative isn’t really an option, is it?”
“Which would be what exactly?”
“Asking him to give up his career,” she said.
I dismissed it immediately. “Of course, that’s out of the question. I could never ask him to give up his career for me. Nor would I want him to. I mean, being a fire fighter is what makes him Sam. I couldn’t ask him to throw that away for me.”
“Even if that means you won’t have to worry?”
I hesitated for a moment. “Yes,” I said finally. “Even if it means I won’t have to worry anymore.”
Helen smiled. “Each relationship comes with its set of challenges, Mia,” she said. “Maybe you have to accept the fact that this is the challenge in this particular relationship.”
“It’s not just me anymore, Helen,” I reminded her. “I have Renni to think about, too. She’s crazy about Sam already, and she’s already lost one father. I don’t want her to have to lose another.”
“Of course not, honey,” Helen said, with maternal fondness. “No mother wants that for their child. But you need to decide whether being with Sam is worth the risk.”
“The risk?” I repeated, in a small voice.
“The risk of losing him, the risk of having Renni lose him,” she explained. “Is being with Sam going to be worth it in the long run?”
“I… I… I don’t know,” I stammered at last. It was too big a question for me to answer just like that, without careful thought and consideration.
“Think about it,” Helen said gently. “And until you do, enjoy yourself. You’ve been alone too long, Mia. You don’t need a man in your life, but it’s nice to have one all the same, especially if he’s a decent human being who can treat you and your daughter with love and respect. Remember to live a little.”
I was contemplating Helen’s words when my phone started to ring. I didn’t recognize the number, but I was hoping it was Sam as I answered.
“Hello?”
“Mia?” the voice was urgent and familiar.
“Speaking,” I replied. “I’m sorry, who is this?”
“It’s Peter, Sam’s brother.”
I felt my insides grow cold suddenly, and I froze in place. Why would Peter be calling me? The last time he had sought me out was because his brother had been thrown into jail. I felt myself panicking.
“Peter,” I said. “What’s wrong? Is Sam alright?”
“Sam is in the hospital-”
“What?” I gasped, standing up and upending the chair I had been sitting on. Helen looked at me in alarm, but I couldn’t make myself look at her.
“Don’t worry,” Peter said quickly, raising his voice to make sure his words got through. “He’s fine, he’s safe. There was just a small…incident. I just thought you’d want to know.”
“What hospital?” I asked.
“Sloane Methodist,” he replied.
“I’m on my way,” I said, without asking for more details.
“Give me a call when you get here,” he said.
“Okay,” I agreed, before cutting the line abruptly.
I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.
“Mia?” Helen’s voice reminded me that she was still in the room.
“It’s Sam,” I said. “I don’t know what happened, but…he’s in the hospital.”
“Go,” she said immediately. “I’ll cover for you here.”
“Bless you,” I said, rushing for my car.
The fifteen-minute drive to the hospital was too long. And, it made me regret not asking Peter what had happened. My mind started creating increasingly dramatic scenarios of what might have happened, and suddenly, I was seeing Sam lying unconscious on a hospital bed tied up to a million different wires. I wondered why in every scenario, I saw Sam’s first before he morphed into Clint.
I reminded myself that Peter had said that Sam was fine. Somehow, that didn’t give me much comfort.
As I parked my car, I called Peter, who told me to meet him at the hospital’s entrance. When I got there, he was standing by the massive doors waiting for me. He was dressed in dark pants and a white shirt, with his officer’s badge on full display on his breast pocket.
“What happened?” I asked the moment I saw him.
“As I understand it, Sam had just left Renni’s school, and he was walking over to the station for his shift. On the way there, he smelled smoke and headed in the direction of the fire. Thankfully, the building was in foreclosure so it was practically empty.
“Except for this older couple that got stuck on the fourth floor. The husband managed to make it down, but his wife, who was handicapped and sickly, didn’t.”
“Sam went in there after her,” I said, understanding immediately.
“Yes,” Peter nodded. “The ambulance got waylaid on the way there. If Sam had waited any longer, she would have died. He saved her life.”
“What about him?” I asked desperately.
“There was a lot of smoke,” he replied as we took the elevators up two floors. “Sam blacked out the moment he got out of the building. They rushed him here and called me. I’m listed as his emergency contact. He’s conscious now and completely fine.”
“Can I see him?”
“Of course,” he said, coming to a stop outside room three-seventy. “Go ahead. I’ll wait out here.”
I thanked Peter and headed inside the tiny room. Sam was propped up on the high single bed with his left hand connected to a small monitor that appeared to be keeping track of his heartrate.
“Hey, you,” he said, his face breaking out into a huge smile. “What do you think about my master plan to get you out of work today?”
I stared at him without cracking a smile. “This is not funny,” I said firmly.
The smile on his face slipped as he realized how upset and emotional I was. “I’m sorry,” he said, and his tone reverted to seriousness. “I just thought I’d…lighten the mood.”
“Peter told me what you did,” I said, hoping that my words didn’t sound like an accusation.
“Mia,” his voice was soft and emphatic. “I wouldn’t have done it. But he was looking at me and asking for my help. And I could see it in his eyes…he loved her. He loved his wife and was terrified of losing her. How could I have just stood by and waited? How could I have stood there and done nothing?”
“You couldn’t have,” I said, trying to force back my tears.
“Mia,” Sam’s voice was imploring. “Come here…please.”
I hesitated for only a moment before I walked over to his bedside. He put his hand on my hip and forced me to a seating position beside him. He held my hand and kissed it tenderly.
“I’m sorry to have to put you through this,” he said sincerely. “I know I made you a promise-”
“I told you it wasn’t a promise you couldn’t make,” I interrupted him. “I told you it wasn’t realistic.”
“I know you did,” he nodded.
“But…this is your job,” I said. “I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with it.”
“Mia-”
“I’m always going to be worried for you,” I sighed. “I’m always going to be terrified when you go off to work.”
“Mia-”
“I just… I want you to be safe. And, I’m scared of losing you. And, I’m-”
“I love you.”
I stopped in my tracks and stared at Sam for a moment. He didn’t blink.
“What?” I asked.
“I love you, Mia,” Sam repeated again. “You’re the first girl I’ve ever said those words to.”
“I am?” I asked, in amazement.
“Actually…the second girl.”
“Oh,” I said.
“The first girl was five years old and had the same green eyes that you have.”
“Renni?” I aske
d in shock.
Sam smiled slowly. “This morning,” he nodded. “She said it to me first.”
“Oh,” I said. It seemed that was all I was capable of saying.
“Mia-”
“I love you, too,” I said suddenly, the words bursting out of me before I had given my mouth permission to speak. We stared at each other for a moment and then Sam smiled and kissed my hand again.
“I guess that’s that,” he said, his hazel eyes twinkling.
“I guess so,” I whispered.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sam
I flipped through the channels, trying to find something that would take my mind of the numbing boredom that came from sitting in a hospital room by myself for the past two hours.
I knew I was being silly. It was practically the first time I had been left on my own. If Peter, Madison, or Mom weren’t with me, then Mia certainly was.
This morning, however, Peter, Madison, and Mom all had to work and Mia had Renni to take care of. I was fairly sure someone would pop in soon, but the boredom was starting to get to me. A local news story caught my attention and I took my finger off the button. I heard the name Jackson Neilson, and I held my breath for a moment.
The news was running a story about his indictment. There was interest because of the fact that he ran a bar in town. It had since been shut down and exposed as a front for a massive money-laundering scheme that included a local drug ring. Apparently, there was evidence tying Jackson directly to the drug ring, and it seemed that his chances of getting out of this were slim.
I sat there thinking about the early days with Jackson. He had always been ambitious – we both had – but his ambition had always been different to mine. I had been less interested in money and more interested in distinguishing myself in my profession. Jackson had always complained that fire fighting didn’t really pay as much as it should.
I had always believed that he was just shooting his mouth off, complaining about something we couldn’t change. I had no idea he would take it so far.
I thought about our rookie days together and how enthusiastic we both had been about starting at the station. I remembered how Jackson’s excitement had turned into recklessness and then cockiness as the two of us became known for our burst of bravery in the line of fire.
“They should increase our salaries,” he used to tell me. “They don’t pay us enough for what we do.”
“They pay us the same as everyone else,” I used to remind him.
He would shake his head at me. “We both know that you and I put ourselves in danger far more than anyone else in this station.”
That conversation had been years ago, and it was funny that I would remember it now. But I wondered suddenly if perhaps that thinking had led him to make the decisions he had ultimately gone with.
Was it purely greed? Was it just dissatisfaction? Was it possible that he was sick of putting himself in harm’s way and just wanted to make sure he had a security blanket in case he wanted to stop fire fighting?
Anything was possible and it kind of bothered me that I didn’t have the answer.
I was wondering if it would be a good idea to go and visit Jackson, maybe get some questions answered and gain some closure. I decided I would ask Mia for her advice. And just as I thought her name, she materialized before me, with Renni in tow.
“Renni!” I said. “Hi, cutie, how are you?”
Renni clung to Mia’s hand and looked at me with wide eyes. I could tell instantly that the setting unnerved her and the sight of me in bed was strange for her. She was quiet and shy, half hiding behind Mia.
“Why don’t you come and sit with me?” I suggested, patting an empty patch beside me.
“Come on, sweetheart,” Mia encouraged as she lifted Renni up and propped her on the side of my bed.
I put my arm around Renni, fitting her underneath my arm. Then I gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I’m fine. Healthy as a horse.”
She looked up at me with those big green eyes, but she still didn’t say anything. I saw her eyes dart around the hospital room as though she were scared something was going to jump out of the corner and scare her.
“Hey,” I said, trying my best to distract her. “You want to see something cool?”
She nodded silently.
I grabbed my remote control that connected to the bed and showed her how my cot could be moved up and down, raised at the feet, and scaled back according to my specifications. “What do you think?” I asked. “My very own remote control bed. It’s like I’m special.”
At last I got a smile out of her and that smile seemed to make her relax. Mia came around to my other side and sat down there so that I was wedged between Renni and her. I reached out and took her hand, thrilled to have them both with me.
“Renni,” I said, my voice gentle. “If you have any questions, you can ask me.”
She glanced at Mia for a moment, as though to ask permission. I saw Mia nod infinitesimally. “Mommy said you ran into a burning building to save someone.”
“I did,” I nodded. “I had to.”
“Because it was on fire?” she asked seriously.
“Because there was a woman in there by herself,” I explained. “She couldn’t get out on her own, and her husband couldn’t help her, either. So, I had to.”
“Are they together now?” she asked. “The husband and the wife?”
“They are,” I smiled. “And because I went into that building after her, they get to spend the rest of their lives together. That’s why I did it, Renni, so that they could be together. Everyone deserves to have love, and I think I saved theirs.”
“I’m proud of you,” Renni said, after a moment.
I felt a lump form in my throat. “You mean that?”
Renni nodded vigorously and Mia smiled. “For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, too.”
I squeezed their hands and then kissed them both in turn. “Thank you,” I said. “That means the world to me.”
Our little moment was interrupted when the doctor walked into my room. Doctor Farthing was a startling blond with dark eyes that somewhat softened his look. He had an impressive beard that did a good job of hiding his age.
“Hi, Doctor,” I greeted brightly. “Do you have good news for me?”
He smiled. “Are you that bored here Sam?”
“You have no idea, doc,” I said. “I’m a man of action. Sitting in this bed is torture for me.”
The doctor referred his notes, and I could tell that Mia was holding her breath. “Well… I can schedule you for an early release today,” Doctor Farthing announced.
“Brilliant-”
“But you’re going to need some care…”
“He has care,” Mia said immediately, as she stood and turned to the doctor. “I can take care of him.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met,” Doctor Farthing said, stretching his hand out to her. “You must be Sam’s wife?”
I felt a little tingle at the mention of the word wife, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. “Not his wife,” Mia corrected. “I’m his…”
“Girlfriend,” I said, helping her out.
“I see,” Doctor Farthing nodded. “Do you live together?”
“We don’t,” Mia replied. “But he can stay with us till he recovers.”
“Excellent,” he said, nodding. “He will need to be watched over the next few days. Come and see me on Friday, and we can determine if you’re completely alright or not.”
I could feel Renni’s excitement beside me. The moment the doctor left, she turned to me with bright eyes. “You get to come and stay with us!”
“I heard,” I said, smiling at her, before turning to Mia. “Are you sure that’s alright with you, Mia? I don’t want to be an imposition.”
She smiled at me as though I was being ridiculous. “Don’t be silly,” she said. “Renni and I will be happy to take care of you for the next few
days, right Renni?”
“Right!” she said with enthusiasm.
Two hours later, we checked out of the hospital and headed back to Mia’s place with a small bag of my clothes in tow. Mia helped me to the front door and even Renni held my hand as though she thought I would fall. When we got inside, Renni grabbed one of my smaller bags and turned to Mia.
“Shall I put Sam’s things in your room?”
Mia hesitated a little, and I knew she was slightly uncomfortable. I saw her make a split second decision before nodding. “Yes, sweetheart, thank you.”
Renni grabbed my bag and disappeared into Mia’s room. “Are you sure this is okay, Mia?” I asked again, now that Renni wasn’t within earshot.
She walked into my arms and kissed my neck. “Of course, I’m sure,” she said. “I made my decision the second I told you I loved you. We’re in this together now, come hell or high water.”
“Hmm… I like the sound of that,” I sighed, kissing her eyes, her nose, and her lips.
“Come on, Sam,” Renni yelled from Mia’s room. “You need to be in bed.”
Mia laughed softly. “Nurse Renni is calling,” she said. “Let’s do as she says.”
Mia helped me to her room and then settled me down on the right side of her bed. I sunk into the soft covers and sighed, feeling relaxed already. “This is nice,” I said.
“Wait here,” Renni said as she scuttled out of the room.
“She’s a busy bee, isn’t she?” I laughed.
“I think she likes the idea of taking care of you,” Mia nodded.
A moment later, Renni came back into the room with a glass of water in hand. She handed it to me. “Here you go,” she said. “Drinking lots of water will help your recovery.”
It was such a grown up thing to say that both Mia and I had to suppress our laughter. I nodded seriously and drank my water. “Thank you, Renni,” I said. “I feel better already.”
“I know what will make you feel even better,” she said, obviously loving her new role as my nurse and caretaker.
“Tell me,” I encouraged.
“I’m going to read you a story,” she said. “That always makes me feel better whenever I’m sick or sleepy.”
“That’s a good thing then,” I nodded. “Because I’m both at the moment.”