by Naomi Niles
I had an athletic build, and I could be witty when I wanted to, but I was still unsure of my chances of landing the role. If it wasn’t for Carrie, there was no way I would be here right now. I had no idea how long the casting call would be, but judging by the number of women in the auditorium, I knew that I would be sitting for quite a while. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my social networks, updating Twitter as the time went by.
Almost an hour passed before a woman came to the front of the room and called my name from a sheet of paper. “Hannah Black?” I quickly dropped my phone into my purse, snatched my portfolio out, and headed to the front of the room. My heels clicked against the polished floor as I made my way towards her.
“Hannah?” she asked with a blank expression on her face.
I smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Right this way.”
Without introducing herself, she led me through a set of double doors and down a small corridor into an audition room. Inside, there were three people sitting at a table in the front of the room; one man and two women. A few men and women were scattered around the sides as they worked on props and other signs. The man spoke as he removed his thin, horn-rimmed glasses from his face. “Hannah Black, correct?” he asked, looking down at the sheet of paper on the table in front of him.
I stood five feet away. “Yes, sir.”
“Excellent,” he said, as he rested his glasses on the bridge of his nose and folded his hands on the table. It was decorated with a velvet covering, and the name of the movie hung on a sign across the front. “My name is Kent Washington, the director. This is Amy Shutter,” he said, extending his hand to his left, “and this is Kaitlyn Tate. So, what do you have for us?”
I stumbled in my heels as I walked to place my portfolio on the table in front of them. “I’m sorry,” I said, as I regained my balance. “But, here is my portfolio. I’ve done a lot of work in the past. Acting. Well, mostly commercials and whatnot.” I smiled. “A few movies but–”
“Who have you worked with?”
“I’m sorry?”
He peered at me as his nose was still downward, pointed towards my portfolio. “Who have you worked with? Directors? Actors?”
“Oh. Directors. Shaun Latung. Anderson Crawley. Michael–”
“I’ve never heard of them,” he said, cutting me off sharply as he slid my folder to the middle of the table. The woman to his left tapped her fingernails against the surface of the table. The sound mimicked a small army, marching towards my defeat. To his right, another woman exhaled and ran her fingers through her hair as she turned to look at Kent.
“Well, um,” I could feel nervous beads of sweat forming on my brow. “I have done a lot of work with them. Just um, you know, different things. Comedies. Romantic comedies, actually. I have… um…” the words played a twisted game of hide and seek with me as I rambled in front of them, quickly losing their interest.
Suddenly, Amy spoke up, “Can you remove your purse, please? Just place it down right there in front of you. I want you to walk a little bit for us.”
“Walk?”
“Catwalk.”
“Oh,” I said, chuckling. “I got it.” I took a deep breath, and at that moment, my legs felt as if they were going to buckle beneath me. With my first step, my heel turned to the right and nearly sent me tumbling to the ground. I heard a sigh from behind me as I shook my head.
“Have you done this before?” Kaitlyn asked with a voice full of annoyance.
“Yes. Yes, I just um–”
“All right,” Kent said as he took his glasses off and rubbed his temples. “Thank you, Vannah.”
“Hannah.”
“Right. We will contact you and let you know which way we are going with the role. Please go out the opposite way you came in. Out the door and to the right. Thanks.”
I grabbed my purse, fighting to keep my smile as I headed out of the room. “Excuse me, Hannah,” he said as I walked the down the hall the opposite way I came in. “You left your portfolio in the room.”
I turned around as he stood with my papers extended in my direction. “Goodness. Thank you. My mind was all over the place in there; it only makes sense for me to forget that behind.”
He smiled. “No problem at all.” As I slipped the folder into my purse, he continued, “Do you know how to get out of here? I see they kind of sent you out without any directions.”
“Well,” I said as we walked side by side. “He did say out the door and to the right.” As we made it down the hallway, there were five different doors. Three doors were spaced out 10 feet from each other on one wall, and two doors were on both ends of the perpendicular hallway. He smiled once I noticed the number of options.
“Yeah,” he said. “This is where it gets confusing. I don’t know why he doesn’t tell everyone which door to take at the end. But, Kent can be kind of a jerk sometimes.”
“Kind of?” I asked with one eyebrow raised above the other. “That man was one of the rudest men I’ve been around in a while. He would make a good judge on one of these talent shows. I think they all need that one jerk to keep people interested. Maybe I should send him the link in an email,” I said, laughing. “I’m sure it won’t affect my chances here, seeing as how they basically put a boot to my behind and told me to hit the bricks.”
“Well, I’ve seen him treat people far worse. I could tell that you were nervous, though. Like, right now? You don’t seem nervous at all, and I can tell that you have a magnetic personality. I just think your nerves got the best of you. I mean, you could barely walk without stumbling in there.”
“Sheesh, tell me about it,” I said, looking down at my heels. “I felt like clicking these things together and going back to Nebraska.” I paused, “Wait, where is Dorothy from?”
He laughed. “Kansas.”
“Well, shoot. Kansas. Nebraska. Same thing.” He rubbed his chin as I stood beside him. “Well, are you going to tell me which door to take so I can get out of this Godforsaken place, or are you about to push me into one of them and keep me as your slave?”
“Well,” he said, lifting his eyebrows.
I lowered my eyes, “You can try it, sir, but I guarantee that my father will find you… and he will kill you.”
He laughed, then walked me to the door on the right at the end of the hall. The sun beamed and blinded me for a second until I was able to adjust. “Thank you,” I said, inviting him to tell me his name.
“Brian. My name is Brian, and it was a pleasure to meet you, Hannah. The real you.”
“Thank you.”
As I walked to my car, Carrie’s words replayed in my mind like a catchy hook. “Just. Be. Yourself.” I don’t know what happened when I first stepped foot into that room, but I changed. I tensed up. Maybe it was the aura that was already in the room before I came in. Maybe it was their attitudes that threw me off, but either way, I wasn’t myself. Just then, my phone buzzed inside of my purse. It was Carrie. I don’t know how she knew that it was the right time to call, but she did. “Hello?” I asked, dejected.
“Aw, sweetie. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? How did you know?”
“Because you wear your heart on your sleeve. Well, I mean, you wear your heart in your voice. What happened?”
“I did exactly what you told me not to.”
I turned my key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. I was headed home after another failure, and at 26 years old, I was getting close to the end of my rope.
Chapter Three
Ezra Hammond
I searched through the cabinet for the syrup bottle. The butter melted on top of my short stack of pancakes, waiting for me to devour them. I grabbed the bottle from the cabinet and sat down in front of my plate. I didn’t usually eat a big breakfast, especially on days that I was to work out, but my stomach had been rumbling all morning so I couldn’t help it.
Just as I grabbed my fork, the front door opened and closed shut. Moments lat
er, Jeff walked into the kitchen, sporting a compression shirt that looked oddly familiar. “What the fuck, Jeff? I’ve been looking for that shirt for the last two weeks.”
“Yeah, I forgot to tell you that I was going to borrow it. My ex cut mine up before she left the house the other day, so I needed one to work out in.” He sat down at the table and grabbed my plate of food like it was his. “And what the hell are you eating this shit for? You know we have to be at the gym in like two hours. He sliced an edge from the pancakes and dipped it into syrup before he piled the forkful into his mouth.
“Really, Jeff?”
“What?” he said, his mouth cluttered with food. “This shit is not good for you, and if you’re gonna eat it, I may as well eat it with you. Shit. I can’t let you be the only one making a bad decision. That’s what friends are for.” He shoved another forkful into his mouth as I pulled my plate away from him.
Jeff and I had been friends for the last 10 years. We used to work at the same dead-end job at Fire Stone before we both realized that we had potential to do a lot more with our lives. That’s when I decided to try my hand at an acting career while Jeff went into business as a sports agent. Although his career was going a lot better than mine, he made sure that I never regretted the decision I made to leave Fire Stone.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin, then walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a jug of orange juice, drinking straight from the bottle. “You piece of shit. First, you eat my damned pancakes, and now you are drinking my juice straight out of the bottle?”
He gulped it down, then wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Sorry, bro. I’ll buy you another one.” He closed the door and sat down in the chair with the bottle of orange juice in his hand. I shook my head and took a bite of pancakes as he looked at his watch. “So, how is the acting shit goin’?”
I sighed. “Shit. I mean, it could always be better. I think I need to get a big part somewhere, though. These commercials and small movie roles aren’t cutting it right now.”
“Aren’t cutting it? Really? You live in fuckin’ Hollywood. Rent is at least $1300 a month for a one-bedroom, and you have a two-bedroom. You seem to be doin’ all right if your ass hasn’t gotten evicted yet.”
I shook my head. “Nah, man. I mean…” I thought about Tanner and Nolan. I felt that if I had a bigger role in a movie that Tanya wouldn’t hesitate to let me see them more. I know she felt like I was a fucking loser because of how slow my career was going. I was making money, but not as much as I thought I would by now, and she knew it. It was almost like I had to pay her off just to see my boys more, and if that was the case, then that is what I had to work for. “I think I need some bigger roles, you know? I mean. It might help with letting me see the kids more.”
He moved the jug of orange juice away from his mouth and glared at me. “Help you see the kids more? What the fuck does a bigger movie role have to do with helping you see the kids more?”
“Man, fuck. You know how Tanya is. I think if I was able to throw some money her way, she would loosen up a little bit. This one fucking weekend a month is killing me. I need to see my boys more than that. A lot more.” I sliced another edge of my pancakes and slid it into my mouth.
“Tanya is such a bitch, man. I mean, no disrespect to your children’s mother, but she is a bitch. A grade-A bitch with like… superpowers and shit.”
“I wish her power was the ability to give head better. Shit, that might have kept me around a little longer.”
“Shit, man. Honestly, I don’t think money will change that. I think she enjoys watching you squirm and suffer. That’s just the kind of chick she is, bro. She is evil. Pure evil.”
I finished my breakfast, and we climbed into his car so we could head to the gym. We both worked hard to keep our bodies in shape. It gave him a little more clout with the athletes he was looking to sign, and it helped me stay flexible with the type of movie roles I could play. The one thing that most casting directors look for is your physique, and I wanted to make sure I kept muscles instead of flab.
I laid on the bench and gripped hold of the bar as Jeff stood over me. “All right, Ezra. This is 315 lbs. Hit this shit, man. Rep this shit out! Let’s go!” He clapped his hands together to pump me up. I took three deep breaths and then contracted my hands around the bar.
“Aaaaargh!”
“One! All right, let's go! You got two more in you!” I lowered the bar and bounced it off my chest. “Two! Come on, Ezra! Hit that shit! One more time! Push!” I gritted my teeth together as I struggle to push the bar up for the third time. “Come on, Ezra! Push! I’m gonna let that shit fall right on your fucking neck! I’m not helping! Push!”
My arms shook as I yelled out, pushing the bar up inch by inch. “That’s it, baby! That’s it! Almost there!”
“Aaaaaarg!” I lifted the bar and slammed it onto the rack, then sat upright as Jeff patted me on the back.
“Good shit, Ezra! Good shit!” I took a towel and wiped my head, then grabbed a bottle of my intra-workout drink and took a swig. “Damn, Ezra. I didn’t think you had three reps in you. Shit. You might need to try your luck as an athlete now. You are getting strong as fuck.”
“Nah,” I said, catching my breath. “I know my role. I am here to act, not fucking get smacked around on a football field.”
“I hear ya’,” he said as he added more weight to the bar. “Well, you gotta do what you feel you were put here to do. This is why we left Fire Stone. I’m behind you 100 percent, bro. With this acting thing and with the boys. I hate that you are in that situation, but I know it will work out for you.”
I stood up and took another drink from my bottle. “Yeah, man. That’s what I am hoping. If things go right, I will hear back from Marc, and he will tell me about a potential role that will put my acting career front and center. But, you know how he is.”
“Marc is a fucking snake, man,” he said as he laid on the bench and gripped the bar.
“Goddamn, man. You are lifting 365 now?”
He laughed. “What? This is child’s play, Ezra. You know that.” I stood to the side as he effortlessly pushed the weight up and down, bouncing it off his chest like a basketball until he got to his fifth rep and slammed the bar on the rack. The metal clanged together, creating an echo throughout the gym. I shook my head as my phone rang simultaneously.
“Hello?”
“Ezra? This is Marc, and I’ve got some good news. Big, big movie is in the works, and the casting call is next Monday. And me, being the amazing guy that I am, got you in on the call. Yeah, I know. You can thank me later.”
“No shit?!” I asked as the world around me came to silence.
“No shit. Monday at 11 am, you’ve got a casting call to go to. Make sure you wear something that shows off your body because you are gonna need that extra oomph to woo them.”
“What kind of movie is it?”
“You ever heard of the book Satin Sheets?”
My eyebrows folded together like a handkerchief, “The sex novel?”
“Yeah. That’s it. They are making a movie for it, and I know you can land the role for the lead male actor. So, get your shit together and be sexy. I’ll give you more info when the time comes.”
“All right! Thanks, Marc. I appreciate that.”
“Sure thing.”
I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. I felt like the role I could land in my sleep had finally arrived. “The fuck are you smiling for?” Jeff asked as he removed weights from the bar.
“I think shit is about to get interesting.”
Chapter Four
Hannah
I laid my mat out in front of me and sat on top of it Indian-style. I always looked forward to my yoga class on Tuesday mornings with Carrie. It was just another time to get away from the stress that I was dealing with in my life and ease my mind. The stretching was therapeutic for me, and as Carrie unfolded her mat, she smiled. “Another day, girlie. I soooo look forward to these sessions. It keeps me fle
xible for the times that I need to um,” she winked at me, “try something new.”
“Oh, my gosh. You are always thinking about sex.”
“Sex is natural, Hannah. And speaking of,” she sat down Indian-style on her mat, “when was the last time you let someone pop that coochie?”
I shook my head as the yoga instructor walked into the room. “I am too busy with trying to get my life in order. I don’t have time to think about that.”
“That?” she said with a smirk. “Girl, THAT is what will help you loosen up. You are kinda uptight right now, you know? Yoga helps a bit, but there ain’t nothing like a nice, big dick to really help you loosen up.”
“All right, ladies,” the instructor said as she stood in the middle of the room. “Thank you all for attending Go Yoga today. If you have a partner, go ahead and begin the initial stretch routines. If this is your first time, or you don’t have a partner, please get my attention, and I will help you find what you need.”
Carrie turned towards me, and we joined hands with our feet facing each other. We took turns slowly pulling each other back and forth as we stretched our legs and lower back. “So,” she continued, “Like I was saying. You need to meet somebody, Hannah. You’ve been single for way too long, and I know you haven’t had any male visitors for as long as I can remember.”
“I told you, Carrie. I don’t have time for it. In fact, I have another audition for a commercial later today.”
She rolled her eyes. “A commercial, Hannah? What is that? Like the umpteenth commercial you’ve done in the last year? It is a waste of time.”
I gently pulled her towards me. “It is not a waste of time. Who knows if a big break will come through one of those opportunities. I have to stay ready.”