by Lauren Brown
But I couldn’t resist asking one more question, “Why do they call him the Bear?”
He stood from the exam table and met my eyes. “That’s a question you don’t want the answer to.” He then opened the door and walked to the lobby.
I sat for a few moments in the clinic room, replaying all that Rick had said. I thought about how a man like the Bear could have gained so much power. I didn’t fear the Bear like Rick did. I was a doctor, I wrote the prescriptions, and without me the Bear would have no business. But I didn’t completely blow off the look in Rick’s eye as he’d said, “He can have a dark side.” It made my hair stand on end. There was truth in that look. I stashed his comment away in the back of my mind before returning to my office and collapsing in my chair.
I dug for the wad of cash then stuffed it into my desk drawer. I had no pills left in my pocket. I signed a few letters and faxed a document before calling it a day. I usually waited for the office to clear before I left, but that day was different. I remember feeling more tired than usual.
Although I wanted to go home early, I didn’t drive fast. I took my time, relishing the new glory that had overcome my practice. But even in all the highlight and glory of the rapid success of my practice, I still couldn’t help but wonder about the secrets of the Bear, about the truth behind the man. As much as the money I was making reassured me that the decision I had made was a wise one, I couldn’t help but worry slightly that perhaps I had indeed made a mistake.
Chapter 10
August 26, 2004
The heat of summer was growing thicker and heavier each day. August marked some of the hottest days in Johnson City. The humidity locked the heat in close to the concrete, making the walk to my truck after a day at the office unbearable. Thankfully, rain had cooled the air, and although it would make the next day’s humidity worse, on that day it would do wonders.
I watched the rain from the window in my office. It wasn’t loud enough to mask the sound of Marty’s photocopying outside my office door, but the movement was soothing enough to put me to sleep. I felt my eyes begin to close when my phone rang.
It was Allyn.
“Hi Allyn, I’m about to see a patient,” I lied, “Can we make this quick?”
“John, my favorite doctor, you know I always make it quick. I just wanted to check on the status of everything. See if you needed any more pills, thought any more about the laundering?”
“Yeah, hold on just a second.” I walked to my office door, checked to see if Marty was near, then closed it. I picked up the phone and resumed the conversation. “Everything is going well, really well actually. I’m going to need a lot more pills. And I need them kind of soon.”
“That’s great! I told you it would take off!”
“I must admit, you were right.”
“I’m rarely wrong. But”—he paused and opened what sounded like a bag of potato chips—“if we have to see each other more often, it could pose problems. People may start to wonder why you want to see me so often. We may have to meet outside of your office.”
“That’s fine. I just need the pills.” I closed my eyes.
“I’ll have you taken care of, don’t you worry. The guy I know in the warehouse will be getting some more soon and when I go to Kentucky next week, I’ll stop in Johnson City and trade off with you. What about the laundering? What’s your plan?” The reminder of this one worry made my heart tighten for a split second.
“Yeah, I’ve thought about it and, well, I think it can work.”
I had called the Bear when I couldn’t figure out how to properly launder the money. I told him how I had a lot of cash in my desk and Allyn had suggested laundering it through Hope’s artwork, but that her pieces rarely went for the amount of money I was holding. He had told me that he attended the auction every year and that he would bid against Allyn until $40,000 had been reached. I didn’t tell Allyn that I was working with the Bear, honestly, I didn’t feel he should know.
“I have a friend who is going to bid against you. A guy I can trust,” I told him.
“Wonderful,” Allyn exclaimed. “Glad to be of help. We can talk more about it next week when I bring my favorite doctor several more containers. See you then Dr. Livingston.”
I had gone into residency with so much confidence, chin held high, chest wide, filled with pride, and I had started my practice with the same amount of each if not more. But this feeling of being in control, of having a small secret that was manageable, of having a way to help Hope and my marriage, it made me feel like a man. I got peace from this new practice, or at least, I thought I did. In that year that I was selling, I felt somewhat at ease knowing that I was finally getting my money problems under control, something my father was never able to do.
That night, I locked my office door, told the janitor goodbye, and got in my truck. Driving home, I thought about Hope and starting a family. I knew Beau and Janie would be starting one soon. Beau had never outright told me about his financial situation, but he did say that he had taken out student loans. He and Janie lived in a larger house than Hope and I. They dealt with debt just as we did, yet they were happy, so why couldn’t Hope and I do the same?
Coming from a “well-off” household in Chattanooga, I felt as if I had this expectation to live up to. I felt as if people were constantly wondering what had become of the Livingston name. Now, looking back, I realize no one actually cared.
As I drove home, I thought about what it was that I actually wanted out of my career, out of my marriage, out of my life. And, although I knew money played a large part, I couldn’t exactly say what it was that I was fighting for. The promise in the beginning had become so overwhelming that the real world problems had gotten lost in the highlights. But occasionally, in those quiet moments driving, the reality of my life would reveal itself. My pulse would rise as I reflected on what it was I was exactly doing, until I read the name on my white coat and reality was once again slowly covered up.
I concluded that keeping this business matter solely confined to the office was the safest and healthiest with regards to my marriage. Going home to Hope had always been an escape, a safe haven for me at the end of a long workday, and I didn’t want to run the risk of ruining that. I had never been one to keep secrets from Hope, but I believed that if the truth was going to hurt her, I should keep it from her.
I walked in and was greeted by a wedding picture of us that hung in our foyer.
“Hi! Dinner’s ready,” Hope called out from the kitchen.
I set my briefcase down beneath our picture and walked to the dining room. She entered wearing a black dress with a large grin on her face.
“What’s got you so cheery today? Is it the auction?” I asked, returning the grin as I sat in my chair.
She joined me at the table and was quiet for only a second before blurting, “I’m pregnant, John!”
I launched myself from the chair and sent it skidding across the floor. “Are you serious?!”
“Yes!”
I ran to her and embraced her. After holding her for what felt like an eternity, pulling away to see her again, then hugging her tighter, she finally managed to maneuver away from my hold.
She laughed. “I know. I was considering your offer on a reproductive specialist, but it’s just so expensive. I said a few prayers and it finally happened! I won’t even begin to tell you how many pregnancy tests are in the bathroom right now. I’ve already called Mama and Daddy and they’re ecstatic. I haven’t called Sarah yet. Wanted you to be a part of the fun too,” she rambled with excitement.
I was beaming like a full moon.
She continued, “With Sarah and Tim moving into town, it’ll be like a real home, with family. Who knows, maybe they’ll finally get married and then our baby will have a cousin. It’ll be something new for once.” She was glowing.
“And a good ‘new’ too,” I stated, holding my glass in the air.
“Yes. I think this year is going to be a year of good chan
ge,” she said meeting my glass with hers in the air.
I thought about my secret again, about the money to be made, about the new direction my practice had taken. I felt like a withered stalk beginning to stand tall again, rejuvenated with the rain of good news.
“Honey, you are exactly right,” I said to her with a smile.
The next day I walked into Living Well and immediately informed Beth and Marty that Hope was pregnant. They had shouted and congratulated me. I basked in the joy, poured myself a cup of coffee, and then walked into my office. I heard the crunch of a piece of paper under my shoe.
The return address on the envelope was Mayflower Road. I set my briefcase down and opened it.
Dr. Livingston,
I would like you to accompany me for a day of golf this Friday afternoon around 5:30 p.m. I feel as if our relationship began on a rather mechanical start. I’d enjoy getting to know you better as we’ll be working together for quite some time. My membership is at Mayflower Golf and Country Club. I hope to see you then.
I hadn’t played a round of golf in years. I wasn’t even sure I had golf clubs anymore. But the man had this way about him that made it hard to say no.
I slid the paper into my desk, and reviewed the first chart. I took a sip of my coffee. I thought about how I would soon be a father, and then I thought about my own father. I looked around my office. Comparing mine to his, Living Well had some similarities to his Livingston Law Firm, but they were completely different, at least that’s what I told myself.
The week passed and before I knew it, I was waking up on Friday morning. Hope had begun to clear out our office to make way for soon to be baby furniture and had slept longer than usual. Her joy and excitement fueled me to keep working. I had yet to tell her about my golf date. I kissed her in the morning as I woke.
“Hope?”
“Yes,” she mumbled into her pillow.
“Dr. Wilson invited me to golf today. I’ll probably run late tonight,” I fabricated.
“Golf? Do you even have golf clubs?”
“I think they’re in the basement. They say the best business deals are made on the golf course.”
“Don’t be too late,” she muffled as I closed our bedroom door.
I flipped on the lights in our musty basement packed with Hope’s broken easels and old furniture from medical school. The door locked from the outside, so I kept it propped open while I searched for the clubs. I spotted them in the far corner. I dusted them off, grabbed my briefcase upstairs, and walked to my car.
That afternoon I passed the Bear’s house as I drove down Mayflower Road to the golf and country club. I made sure Beau and Janie weren’t home as I passed their house. Thankfully they weren’t. Last thing I needed was for Beau to see me driving to a country club that I didn’t have a membership to.
I pulled up to the club and parked my truck. I was slightly embarrassed. My old Chevrolet wasn’t aging well. It stood out next to the waxed, black Mercedes adjacent to it. Purchasing a new car was next on my list.
The day was overcast and, surprisingly, there weren’t many golfers out that afternoon. I spotted the Bear driving down Mayflower Road in his golf cart. He was wearing a white polo this time.
“Hello, John!” He waved from the cart.
I retrieved the few clubs I had and returned the wave.
“I was hoping you would take me up on my offer. Ever golfed before?”
“It’s been awhile.”
He saw my old clubs and laughed. He motioned for me to sit beside him.
“Do I need to check into the office? Pay or something?”
“Heavens no! I basically run this place. No need for that.”
He drove us onto the course. The sun peeped through the clouds every so often, casting shadows on the grass. Large firs and hemlocks surrounded the fairways. I could see costly houses behind the trees.
“So, what do you want to know about me, John?” he asked me as I sat in the cart. He was hunched over, aligning his golf ball on the tee.
“Uh, well, I guess it’d be nice to know your name.”
He smacked the ball hard, watched it, and then turned to me. “I figured you would have searched it on the web by now.”
“I did and couldn’t find anything. There’s no mention of your name anywhere online in association with Mayor Ringgold.”
“I told you—the Bear.”
“I highly doubt Mayor Ringgold calls you that.” I raised one eyebrow.
“We are business partners. My name doesn’t matter to him, only money. But if you must know”—he walked back to the car, signaling my turn to hit—“it’s Richard Lyons.”
“And you really work for Mayor Ringgold?” I asked, setting up my ball.
“I’ve already told you these things. I’m his financial advisor. Though, I’d say he practically works for me.”
“I’m talking about the narcotics.”
“Oh, yes. That’s a recent… promotion… I guess you could say.”
I was afraid to ask too many questions. Rick had sounded serious when he said to keep my curiosity to myself.
“Let me ask you a question, John. Have you ever taken one of those pills you sell?”
“Only when I had my appendix removed in college. Why?” I swung my club and then watched my ball land close to the Bear’s. I was impressed with my shot.
“How’d they make you feel?” He asked as we drove towards the flag.
“Well, I remember they took away the pain.”
He ignored me for a moment to focus on hitting his ball. He cursed when it skirted off the green.
“Exactly,” he resumed after obtaining his ball, “And that’s the beauty of it. I’ve never taken them. Swear, not one single pill. And, you know, John, I could waste my time asking questions like, ‘What does it make people feel like? Why do people become addicted?’ but I don’t because, John, I don’t care. It’s the money I care about. When I’m wealthy, the mayor is very wealthy. And when the mayor’s a wealthy man, the city is a happier place. You get what I’m saying, don’t you, John?” He lit a cigar and looked at me.
I nodded yes but couldn’t find words to match his.
“I’ve told you how all this works. You know about me and”—he made eye contact with me and gave me the strangest look I had seen thus far—“I know all there is to know about you.” He balanced his cigar between his lips as he wiped the end of his golf club then got in the cart beside me. “So how about we keep the business a separate entity and just enjoy the day of golf.”
“Yeah, sure.” I rested into the leather of the cart, cowering slightly.
He smiled, patted me on the back, and drove us to the next hole.
Chapter 11
October 11, 2004
October in the mountains of Tennessee had always been one of my favorite months of the year. The air was crisp, the temperature cool but not too cold, the leaves on the trees shifted to a golden hue. Hope’s body had grown larger and my business had excelled above and beyond. But, for some odd reason, I couldn’t help shake the fact that something deep within me felt disconnected to the autumn days, which were once my favorite. It was as if the trees were changing but I couldn’t see the shimmer anymore.
I arrived at the office an hour early and opened all five drawers of my tall filing cabinet. They were full of green cash. I added the new amount with the earnings from the past ten months.
$42,000. I had been right in my projection. The auction couldn’t come soon enough.
I picked up the phone and called Allyn before Beth and Marty arrived.
“Doctor, doctor! What’s going on?” he yelled into the phone.
“Allyn, Hope’s auction is tomorrow. I just counted, and I was right. I have about forty-two thousand dollars I need to put into one of her paintings. I can’t have this much sitting around my office.” I shuttered at the panic in my own voice.
He sensed the concern also.
“Calm down, Johnny. Hold on just a sec
.” I heard him set the phone down. “Janice, I told you powdered donuts, not chocolate. Uh! Can’t you do anything right?” He picked up the phone again. “Your friend is still going to bid for you right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, well put my name and address down, and, when I win”—he chuckled to himself—“you can mail the painting to me.”
“All right, I’m hoping this works.” I began replacing the stacks of cash back into the drawers.
“It will. Don’t fret.” He was about to hang up when he caught my attention, “Oh and hey John?”
“Yes, Allyn?”
“If you don’t mind me asking,” he mumbled through a mouthful of donuts, “what’s the piece I’ll be fighting for?”
“It’s of… the Tennessee River. It’s a painting she did in college. She’s been gradually adding to it over the years.”
“Nice! Tennessee flows into the Mississippi, though I bet Tennessee’s portion is prettier. I need a pretty piece like that in my office. Call me Friday, John. Have a good one.”
I hung up and looked out at the autumn oak and pines. I could feel my stomach clenching, but I shook it off and began my day of rounds.
Those first ten months of working with Allyn and then the Bear had been stimulating and blissful. I had raked in a large amount of money, my wife was expecting. But after a while, the bliss took a turn. I slowly started to feel this weight on my chest, and it grew a little heavier each day. The weight was particularly heavy the day of my call with Allyn.
“Dr. Livingston, the new patient is in Room Two. I went ahead and filled out some of his chart, but I’m still working on a few more parts. Do you need it?” Beth asked through my door.
I opened the door. “Oh no, it should be fine. Just give it to me when you’re finished. Room Two, you said?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thanks.”