He laughed bitterly. “She caught sight of my hood a time or two. Her eyes are too sharp for her own good. But she ran to the wrong place. This is my home.” When confusion flashed across my face, he continued, “She ran to her mother for safety, but your grandmother’s been secretly tracking me for years. She’s persistent, I’ll give her that, but she wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far if Rose hadn’t left clues along the way.” He sounded irritated. “I was able to make it look like an old boyfriend, but when the trail went cold, she stayed, snooping around the woods.”
“I don’t understand. You say my mom fought against you, but why did the note say she couldn’t handle raising me?” My heart twisted mentioning the piece of paper that had torn out my heart. The paper I’d burned.
He ran a hand through the mess of hair atop his head.
“You have to understand, I did my best by your mother.” He glanced guiltily in my direction, as if gauging how to best continue the conversation from my reaction.
I snorted. “Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?”
His fingers flexed before curling around the steering wheel again. He rolled his shoulders, as if to keep his anger in check.
I glared at him. “You ripped her from me. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you cared about us.”
His head jerked to glare at me with steely sliver orbs. “You know nothing,” he ground out through clenched teeth.
Power buzzed in the cab, undiluted and terrifying, and fear zinged through my rapidly firing nerves. I lowered my gaze and curled into myself against the door, wishing I could fling the door open and run.
CHAPTER 24—Truths
Finally, Beast broke the thick silence with a stuttered breath, defusing the charged air in the truck cab. He sent me a sidelong glance. “Tayla?”
I peeked up through my hair, like an intimidated child. And I hated how scared I was.
Sorrow swam in his now caramel eyes. “I won’t hurt you,” he said as if trying to convince himself more than me.
I didn’t move. The raw power he had exuded reminded me how much of a monster he really was, and how helpless I’d become.
He rubbed the back of his neck, releasing a frustrated sigh. “I did everything I could for you and your mother.” He glanced at me with gentle eyes, melting some of the tension in my body. “But some things can never be righted.”
Curiosity warred with my fear. What had happened between my mother and him? A possibility I’d never considered loomed before me, and I shivered. The little I knew about my mother was a great deal more than I knew about the man who knocked her up and left us both.
Glancing at Beast’s proud form, slouched in sadness, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if he might…if he might be him. She had only been nineteen when she had me—and Beast, while deformed and hairy, had a charisma all his own. Or maybe, he’d seduced her, and regretted it later? Remembering last night and the warmth that had spread through my body at his touch, his nearness, was evidence enough that a lonely woman could get lost in his embrace. Yet, the thought of my mother and Beast...
Eww!
I couldn’t finish the thought. If he was my father, then this whole connection to him was seriously gross and messed up. Suddenly, I had the urge to scrub my skin raw with industrial strength soap, erasing any remains of his touch.
I knew right then that I had to know.
“You and my mother…didn’t, you know...” I trailed off suggestively, too embarrassed to spell it out any clearer.
Puzzlement clouded his eyes, and I was afraid he would make me clarify. I blushed crimson as I hid behind my hair. “You’re not my…”
Suddenly, his face registered my meaning and he shifted awkwardly in his seat, focused on the road like it was a mine field that required his utmost attention.
I had to be sure. I lifted my chin in an attempt to look more in charge than I felt. “Yes or no, and we can forget this conversation ever happened.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“No,” he said gruffly. An anguished rumble passed his lips. “Who could love a monster?”
His voice was so pained that it pierced my heart. I crossed my arms, determined to squash the sympathy growing inside me. He’d betrayed me, lied to me, taken my mother, and I’d never forget that. The silence stretched on as shadowed forests raced by in a blur like the questions in my mind. But I still needed to know if my mom meant what she’d said in that note. Beast was there, so he might know.
“You never answered my question.” My small voice sounded loud in the overly quiet cab. His arm flexed, but he didn’t look at me. “Why the note, if she…wanted me?” My eyes stung, but I keep the tears from falling.
“When I found her, she was nine months pregnant.” His eyes stayed glued to the road ahead. “My wolf wanted to take her right then, but I just couldn’t do it. I’d read too many journal accounts of past bondings damaging or killing the unborn child.”
A balloon of arctic air burst in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I might never have been born.
He took a deep, chest-filling breath. “Luckily, she was almost ready to deliver. I knew I was playing Russian roulette by talking to Rose. Just one look and the bond would set in and she would lose her memory for a while.”
Unbidden memories came of the first time Beast’s silver eyes caught mine and the mind fog that came with it. How had I retained my memories?
Beast continued, giving me no time to dwell on the anomaly. “I was careful to keep my hood up and my eyes down. She’d been terrified at our first encounter, but after a while she accepted the chance to save her baby and chose a home for you.” He scratched his face. “Or so I believed. She showed me the papers Lily signed and the note she wrote to keep her family from searching for her, but that was just a ruse. I sensed it—she was going to run with you. But I foolishly hoped she’d see reason.”
I brushed the tears from my cheeks. She fought to keep me. Beast’s focus never wavered from the road as he continued to recount the story.
“Days after you were born, she came out to deliver me lies of needing more time to get papers legalized. My wolf could smell deceit and in his anger broke free of my control and turned wolf. He bound her to him right then. A few minutes later, Lily saw her walking away.” He chuckled humorlessly. “It was a mess, too many witnesses. Four days of driving only at night, we made it to Cody. I stopped for gas and found her handing a piece of paper to the cashier. It was then that I realized my mistake; I’d told her too much. She had written a note before the bonding, reminding herself the importance of handing Grandma’s number to every person she could without me seeing, begging them to call and report where they saw her last. I’d led the police right to my pack, so I did the only thing I could think of. I acted like the wronged boyfriend and strode out the door, leaving her there. I knew it was only a matter of distance before she came running to me.”
My mouth hung open in shock. I felt like I was hanging upside down. All the blood rushed to my head, making me dizzy. For far too long thoughts of my mother only sent pain and anger through me. Now new emotions emerged, among them was guilt. Guilt for all the years I’d spent hating her. And all this time it had been Beast keeping us apart. My chest constricted in unspeakable pain. I took several cleansing breaths. The need to see her was as uncontrollable as the blood pulsing through my veins. If I angered him by yelling again, I was sure this conversation would end.
“I have to see her.” I choked a plea. I had to know if she still loved me. If she wanted me. If she could forgive me.
“Not yet, Tayla, but soon,” he allowed. “I know it is a lot to take in, but you have to trust me.”
I huffed. Trusting him was the last thing I wanted to do. I turned back toward the window. Silence thickened between us. I could faintly feel his frustration through the bond as it seeped into mine.
Trust?
“Seventeen years I’ve waited,” I bit through the words, “and you want me to
just trust you. To wait even longer?”
His jaw tightened, and he exhaled sharply. He threw me an annoyed glance before focusing on the road that had transitioned from the smooth asphalt to a dusty dirt road. When had that happened? Sometime during our conversation, I’d missed turning off the main road.
“There are things you can’t understand right now, Tayla. I’ve told you more than I intended already.”
“I am not a child.”
“No?” He voiced in a condescending tone. “You demand things you know nothing about.” He locked eyes with me. “I have valid reasons to keep you apart right now.”
I ground my teeth. “Then when?”
He studied my face, with eyes so intense that I lowered mine to stare at his chin, but I wasn’t going to let this drop until I had a solid answer. He owed me that much.
“After the full moon has passed.”
“What?” My voice was two octaves higher than normal. “That’s not fair! You turn wolf every day. Why does the full moon matter?”
“I said after the full moon!” His voice boomed through the cab, causing my ears to ring.
I was shaken by this outburst, but refused to be cowed again. “What happens on the full moon?” My voice vibrated slightly.
“Don’t ask for more than you’re ready to hear, Tayla.” He rebuked me in a voice that tolerated no rebuttal. But since when did I do anything he asked?
“I want to know.” I softened my voice, trying to charm the answer out of him. “Please?”
“No.” His answer was stern. “The quicker you learn to do as I say, the safer you’ll be.”
My lip jutted in a pout worthy of Chel, and I sulked like Sarah on homework night. “So I’m not supposed to ask questions, just blindly follow you?” I could hear my voice sharpening again. I tried to keep my anger in check, but it was proving to be difficult.
“You’re not as blind as you think. But you are not ready for the whole truth.” The finality in his voice stopped my questioning for now. I stewed in the dark.
Looking out the window, the blackness seemed to stretch on forever. The nothingness was soothing. I’d find a way to see my mother with or without Beast’s permission. The revelation that she had planned to run away with me still warmed my heart.
The trees parted, revealing a small rundown single-wide trailer with a tiny glowing porch light. We whizzed by and the forest swallowed it again. As we drove, more rundown trailers spotted the forest like festering sores on a beautiful face with their assortment of rusty cars, lying half-gutted in the overgrown grasses. Thinking of all that junk in the middle of this pristine forest made me cringe. What were people thinking when they displayed crap like that?
The more of these hunks of metal I saw, the more convinced I was that Beast’s home was a filthy single-wide.
A spare bedroom, he had said. It was more like, You’ll be sleeping in the living room, with the dirty clothes hamper and the pile of unwashed dishes.
It was enough to make any girl shudder. What had I gotten myself into?
I gave a distressed moan.
Beast flicked a glance at me, and I wondered if he could feel my unease, but he didn’t speak and I didn’t offer an explanation.
The dirt road stretched on and on. There were no more trailer houses, only the dark trees illuminated by the silver moon shining bright in the night sky. Well, that and the periodic “no trespassing” and “private property” signs tacked to trees every few yards. Was this his land? Or were we trespassing? I couldn’t answer either question but if this was all his, he was richer than I thought. How could he hold a job when he looked like a carnival side show?
Then a chilling thought entered my mind. Maybe he was a thief.
From the corner of my eye, I studied Beast. The moonlight silhouetted his face in a halo of silver. His jaw was strong, no devious twitch or nervous behaviors that I could see. He sat proudly, in control.
The truck slowed and he made a right-hand turn, diverting my thoughts. Headlights fell on a small dark structure. The closer we got the more I could make out the splintered, gray wood and the many holes decorating the roof and walls of the dilapidated shack.
Silently, I prayed that this wasn’t his house. But the vehicle continued to slow and my heart twisted painfully. This was way worse than a single-wide.
CHAPTER 25—Playing Chicken
He veered the truck left, plunging us back into the trees. I let out a nervous puff, thankful I wouldn’t be living with bugs in that decrepit shack. Beast cocked an eyebrow at me. I fidgeted under his gaze. The reality of the situation finally crashed down on me. He would have me in his house soon. What would he do? I looked back at the shack wondering how I was going to live with Beast there, always watching me.
Beast let out a muffled laugh, like our previous conversation had never happened and everything was back to normal, at least, our version of normal. I whipped my head around to find him looking over my shoulder at the dilapidated building fading from view.
“Is something funny?” I quipped, feeling small and irritated.
His smile widened, showing his sharp teeth. “Didn’t you like the shack?”
It wasn’t really a question, and I didn’t answer, feeling my anxiety rise. What was he playing at?
“I save it only for my special guests,” he continued without blinking.
My eyebrows rose in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
His smile fell, and a stern look morphed his features. “Oh? You know me that well?”
His eyes flashed wickedly. I swallowed, but didn’t move my gaze from his.
“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” He turned his attention back to the dirt road. “It’s only reserved for those girls who ask too many questions.” He threw me a pointed look.
My eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t.”
He laughed, the hard lines of his face softening. “No, but it’s a tempting thought.”
I glared at him and balled my fists, and he grinned, but before I could act on my anger, Beast jerked the wheel and turned so sharply I thought he was flipping a U-turn. Trees suddenly swiped at the truck and filled my vision in every direction, especially the one he was headed straight for.
“Ahh! Watch out!” My hands braced against the dashboard.
He laughed in earnest this time, and jerked the truck out of the way, only to aim for another pine. The truck bounced along, as he went off-roading.
My fingers dug into the door handle, and my legs strained against the floor. “Are you insane? You’re going to kill us before this stupid curse does!”
“Come on, Tayla. Relax and have a little fun. This is the best part,” Beast said with excitement.
Great! I was in for the long haul.
He continued to zigzag around trees on a path I couldn’t identify. The headlights bobbed in front of us, illuminating the next obstacle barely in time for Beast to steer around it. Every time I’d let out a gasp he’d just grin wider.
My muscles ached by the time the trees thinned, and I could make out a large clearing with something pointed and massive in the middle. I hoped it wasn’t another clump of trees. I was so done being rattled and jerked like a maraca on Mardi Gras. After what seemed like the longest twenty minutes of my life, Beast cut the engine, and I licked my teeth, making sure they were all still in my head. An enormous shadowed house, painted in moonlight, towered before me. Beast climbed out and strode quickly onto the wooden patio running the length of the house. I sat there, unable to move my wobbly limbs, and watched him disappear.
Suddenly, bright light seared my retinas, leaving black spots dancing across my vision. “Geeze! Warn me next time you’re going to light your house up like a beacon,” I grumped, doubtful he could hear me.
It took a while for my eyes to stop watering, but when my vision cleared, I found myself staring at one of the most beautiful cabins I’d ever seen. I wasn’t even sure it classified as a cabin, a lodge would be more like it. It w
as ten times larger than any house I’d ever lived in. The butterscotch logs on the outer walls were lacquered smooth and glowing in the illuminating lights.
Double glass doors flanked each other, acting as the grand entrance into the house. Why someone needed four doors in a row seemed a bit eccentric in my book, but the grandeur took my breath away. Above the doors, a half circle of glass was divided in the center by a foot or two of wood. The warm light spilling from the glass was a welcoming sight. Other windows spotted the front exterior wall until they gave way to matching sets of double doors near each corner.
He certainly wasn’t concerned about privacy with all the open windows. But why would he be? There probably wasn’t a house for miles, and if this was all his land then he didn’t have to worry about hikers either.
My door opened, and I jumped. There was Beast, offering his hand to help me out of the truck. Placing my hand in his, I felt my stomach flip flop. It would just be the two of us in this grand looking lodge, and suddenly I was nervous.
After I was safely on the ground, I expected him to release my hand, but instead he placed it in the crook of his arm, like an old southern gentleman. My gaze jerked from his arm to his face, and he winked. If he had a hat he might have even tipped it. My insides warmed under his attention, melting away my previous irritation. His caramel eyes enveloped me like a cloak, as if I was a southern belle chilled from the night air. The corner of his mouth tugged into a crooked smile, exposing a canine tooth, but it didn’t scare me. Was I getting used to his deformed face? He glided me up the porch to the grand entrance.
Releasing my arm, he bowed and swept open the glass doors. “Welcome to your home, Ma’am.”
Goose bumps spread over my skin as I turned to face the door that held my future. The explanation for the four glass doors finally made sense. The impressive entryway led into a grand room that could have swallowed my aunt’s entire house.
I took a steadying breath and stepped inside. The grand room was divided into two halves. On the right-hand side were black leather couches and reclining chairs. A dark mahogany coffee table sat on a large dusty-rose rug, artistically woven in a floral pattern. A large river-rock fireplace dominated the wall. Its broad chimney scaled the wall like a formidable statue. I wondered at the heat it would give off when lit. It was big enough to hold a mini bonfire.
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