Everything about this is rubbish. It shouldn’t be happening.
“I’m going.” I can’t be here when he arrives; I have no idea what will happen if I see him.
I’m short of breath and my chest aches. The sickening feeling I have in my gut is worsening.
I pull her against my chest. Hard. I’m probably squeezing her petite wee body tighter than I should, but it’s my final act of showing her how precious she is to me.
“I’ll call you as soon as it’s over.” Her voice is so soft and sweet against my ear.
I’ve never sat anxiously by the phone waiting for any woman to call me, but I will be on pins and needles––no, I’ll be on fucking daggers and swords—while I wait for her call.
Can you feel my love in our kiss? Hear it in my voice? Sense it within your very core?
I love you, Lorna Frazier.
I want to tell her the full extent of how I feel, but now isn’t the right time. But the timing won’t always be wrong. And the moment that it isn’t, I’m going to say those three simple words and forever change our lives.
Chapter 6
Lorna Frazier
I’m so fucking nervous.
Most people are anxious that their first date with a new person won’t go well. Women worry that men won’t think they’re sexy enough. Fellowship women worry that a brother won’t see her as wifeable. The opposite is my fear with Maddock Hendry. I’m afraid that he will see me as wife material.
I enter the reception room and find that Maddock has already arrived. Shite. How long has he been here? Did Leith make a clean escape without coming face-to-face with him?
“And there she is,” Sin says.
Maddock turns around as I enter the room, and I’m immediately uneasy. He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he is appraising me from head to toe. But I suppose there’s no reason to pretend otherwise. We both know what this introduction is all about.
“Miss Frazier.” He comes to me and offers his hand. “It is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.”
He’s so similar to his brother Kieran. Nearly black hair and eyes. A distinct, square jawline with the perfect amount of facial scruff. Tall with broad shoulders. He’s a very attractive man. Any Fellowship woman would be thrilled to be matched with such a handsome man.
But not me.
“Westlyn has told me many wonderful things about you.”
Dammit, Wes. I don’t get it. Why would you campaign for me with Maddock when you know how much I love Leith?
“I’m sure that my good friend embellished about me to be kind.”
“Perhaps, but she was definitely on point about how beautiful you are.”
Shite. He likes the way I look. That’s not what I was striving for when I chose to wear this striped boatneck blouse and pleated skirt. It’s fashionable but doesn’t scream sex appeal at all. Hell, it doesn’t even whisper it.
“What are your plans for Lorna tonight?” Sin’s voice has taken on what I call his alpha tone. He uses it when he wants to flex his muscle for other brothers and let them know that he’s in charge.
“I made dinner reservations at One Table.”
Bleu’s eyes light up. “One Table is my favorite restaurant. They have a great wine flight. I think you’d love it, Lorna.”
Bleu and I tend to enjoy the same kinds of wine. “I’ll give it a try.”
“And what are your plans for after dinner?”
Sin sometimes takes his responsibility for me a little too seriously. He sounds like an overprotective father questioning his daughter’s date about his intentions.
“I was planning to take her to the estate. Is that satisfactory?”
Is that satisfactory? Who the fuck talks like that?
And do neither of them give two shites if it’s satisfactory to me?
The estate. Home of The Hendrys—leaders of The Order. God, I hope he isn’t taking me there to discuss a marriage proposition. That would be dreadful.
“The estate is fine,” Sin says.
I hate the way these two men are discussing tonight’s plans for me as though I’m not standing here. I want to jump up and down, waving my hands, and scream, ‘Hey, I’m right here, and I have an opinion if you’d care to hear it.’
“We should go so we aren’t late for our reservation.”
I straighten my skirt when I’m buckled into my seat, and I place my clutch on my legs, overlapping my hands on top of it. I don’t dare look in his direction, but in my peripheral vision, I can see him studying me. And it’s so damn unnerving.
“Sinclair is protective of you.”
“He is.”
He has been since my parents died, but it’s never been on the same level as Leith. That man would take a bullet for me. In fact, he has taken a bullet for me.
“Why would a married man be so protective of you?”
“He and Thane took responsibility for me after my parents died, but we’ve been friends since we were children. Now his wife is one of my best friends.”
“Sinclair didn’t do a very good job of hiding the fact that he didn’t want us to spend time together.”
I don’t care for the suspicious tone that I’m hearing. “Are you implying that there’s something more than friendship between Sin and me?”
“Should I be implying that?”
Wow. What an asshat. “That’s a ridiculous notion without any basis at all. And it’s insulting as hell.”
“I didn’t mean to insult you, but I had to be sure since The Fellowship doesn’t hold fidelity in the same light as The Syndicate.”
I recall Westlyn talking about Kieran and his beliefs about marriage. The people of his former brotherhood are never unfaithful to their spouses. Ever. It’s one of their most absolute laws.
“Sin loves his wife and children. He would never stray from them. And as for me, I would never have a relationship with a married man. If you believe differently then you should take me back now.”
“Forgive me, Miss Frazier. It wasn’t my intention to offend you. I was obviously wrong to suspect that Sinclair didn’t want us to spend time together.”
I probably shouldn’t be so harsh on Maddock. I’m sure that he did pick up on some reluctance from Sin and wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“It’s all right.”
My phone vibrates inside my purse and I take it out, turning down the brightness on the screen when I see that it’s a text from Leith.
Leith: I wish you were with me instead of him.
Lorna: Me too.
Leith: I wasn’t finished with you.
Lorna: You weren’t?
Leith: No. I have lots more things to do to you.
Lorna: Like what?
Leith: That’s for me to know and for you to find out.
Lorna: When?
Leith: ASAP.
Lorna: I want that too.
I notice Maddock’s gaze on me. He clearly disapproves. “Am I interrupting something important?”
Yes. “Sorry. Just one of the girls checking on me to see how things are going.”
Lorna: I have to go.
Leith: Everything ok?
Lorna: Mr. Grumpy doesn’t approve of texting in his company.
Leith: Fuck him.
Lorna: LOL!
Leith: Where is he taking you?
Lorna: One Table
Leith: Ok. Call me the second you’re back.
Lorna: I will. XO
The restaurant is just as Bleu described. A long table with ten guests on one side and a chef on the opposite side to create and serve dinner to ten guests.
“Bleu can’t get enough of this place.”
“I’ve only eaten here once but I enjoyed it. I’ve been meaning to come again, but I’ve not had anyone to bring.”
A whisky is placed on the table in front of Maddock along with a wine flight for me.
“I’m not a wine drinker. Is there a particular order you’ll drink these?”
“You start with whi
te and work up to the richest red.” I pick up the prosecco from the tasting sheet. “If there’s a sparkling white, you begin there.”
A wine flight. That’s something that Leith should consider offering at the pub. It wouldn’t be a big seller with the brothers. They’re mostly ale and whisky drinkers, but I think it would go over well with the women.
If I have to be here with him, I might as well have a decent conversation to pass the time. Plus, he’s the brother-in-law of one of my best friends and a member of our alliance. It’s inevitable that we’re going to see each other from time to time.
“How is your transition into The Order going?” I ask.
“It’s been a little more difficult than expected.”
“That’s not surprising. You and your family took away their fun.”
The Order members, both men and women, are savages. I’ve never seen a group of people who love violence as much as they do, and I’m certain that they’ve not taken kindly to being told they must stop the violence and align with The Fellowship.
“By birth, we are the true leaders of that brotherhood, but we aren’t welcome there.”
“Have you considered how some of your actions are being interpreted?”
“What do you mean?”
“There are five Hendry heirs who will come into power and two of you have taken spouses from outside of your own brotherhood. Have you considered the message that sends to your people if a third heir takes a wife from The Fellowship instead of The Order?”
Oh yeah. Let’s keep rolling with this idea. Make him see this as a legitimate reason to not consider me as a candidate for his wife.
“Kieran’s marriage to Westlyn created an alliance, and Shaw’s marriage to Mitch strengthened it. My marriage to a Fellowship woman would reinforce the alliance between our brotherhoods even more.”
“Perhaps, or it could send the message that your family believes your own people aren’t good enough, which would result in weakening your connection with them.”
Damn, I’m good.
He’s quiet for a moment. Perhaps allowing that to soak in?
“That’s one way to spin it.”
It’s the only way to spin it, at least until Leith and I are officially together.
“Between you and me, I’ve yet to meet an Order woman I’d trust to not kill me while I sleep.”
“I can see where that would be a concern.”
The Hendrys are leaders but over what kind of people? A vicious group who doesn’t want to change or better themselves. Even if I was power hungry, that would be a definite con for marrying into the Hendry family. Westlyn has no idea how much I worry about her.
“I hope that what I’m about to say doesn’t sound as though I think too highly of myself.” He grins and a light chuckle vibrates in his chest. “I thought that Order women would be lining up at my door in hopes of a match, but the opposite is true. They act as though they hate me.”
“That’s surprising.” Even for Order women.
Maddock is handsome and second in line to becoming leader of The Order once Arabella and Lennox pass the torch. It’s difficult to believe that the women within his brotherhood aren’t fighting for the chance to be his wife.
“I believe you’ll find the opposite to be true with Fellowship women. When word gets out that you’re looking for a wife from our brotherhood, you’ll have your pick of any woman you want.”
“Maybe I’ve already chosen the woman I want.”
No need to play coy like I don’t realize that he’s talking about me. “How can you choose me when you don’t know me?”
“Kieran didn’t know Westlyn and Shaw didn’t know Mitch, but their marriages couldn’t be more perfect. They are in love and happy and that’s what I want: a wife I can fall in love with. And I think that could be you.”
“Most people who choose each other don’t even have the kind of chemistry that those two couples have. They got lucky; their marriages could have just as easily gone the other way.”
“Are you saying that you believe it would go the other way for us?”
Shite. This conversation is getting deeper than I intended. How do I handle this without raising red flags?
“I think both people have to be open to the possibility of what can happen in order for the marriage to work.”
“You aren’t open to it?”
I don’t think it’s wise at this point to come right out and tell Maddock that I’m not open to marrying him. It’s better if he decides on his own that he doesn’t want me.
“That’s not a question I’m prepared to answer tonight.”
“Are you a lesbian?”
I turn and look at him, my lips parted as I try to come up with a response for his unexpected question.
“I’m not a man who likes to have his time wasted. If you’re a lesbian, then there is no reason to pursue this any further.”
For a moment, I consider lying. His believing that I’m into women would put an end to this nonsense. But there’s always room for complications when lying is involved. It could cause more problems than it fixes.
“I’m not a lesbian.”
“You’re twenty-six and unmarried.” Well, thanks for pointing out the obvious. “Why is that?”
“Marriage hasn’t been in the cards for me yet.” But I’m holding out hope that it will be soon.
“How long since your parents died?”
“Almost five years.”
“Thane and Sinclair should have found a match for you years ago.”
I don’t like the way this man presumes to know what I need or don’t need. “I’ve made it just fine without a husband.”
“You sound just like Shaw before Mitch became her husband. Her opinion changed quickly after they married, and I suspect that yours would too.”
More assumptions, incorrect ones. “I never said that I didn’t want to be married. Only that I’ve made it fine without a husband. There’s a difference.”
“I’m glad to hear that you aren’t opposed to marriage. How do you feel about children?”
“I want them. Several actually.” But not yours.
“That’s good to hear because I need heirs. At least one son, preferably two.”
If this is the way that he has spoken to the women of The Order, then it’s no wonder they aren’t falling at his feet. But if we’re going to discuss the requirements of a leader, then I have something to add to the mix.
“A leader needs heirs but he also needs a properly trained wife, and that’s not me. My father was a foot soldier. I wasn’t reared to be the wife of a leader.”
“Was Bleu trained to be the wife of a Fellowship leader?” Well, fuck. He’s got me there. “I think you give yourself too little credit, Lorna.”
“How can you say that when you don’t know me?”
“Bleu Breckenridge. Ellison Breckenridge. Westlyn Breckenridge Hendry. Your three best friends are married to men in leadership roles. You know more about being married to a leader than you might think.”
I don’t want to be married to a leader and give him heirs who’ll one day become the next leaders of The Order. I want to be married to a bartending pub owner, and I want our children to grow up and take over the family business.
“Why me?”
“Initially, my interest was piqued because you’re best friends with the other leadership wives. You’d fit in perfectly with them without even trying. But then the more that I heard Westlyn talk about you, the more curious I became. And now after having met you, I’m more intrigued than ever.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Time to take control of this situation. “Did Westlyn tell you that I once worked as a barmaid?”
For now, I’m going to leave off the part about my brief employment at the topless men’s club, but I will use that to discourage him if need be.
“My sister-in-law made no mention of that. I was only told that you were a nanny for a Fellowship family.”
“I was until last week, but I had to leave my position. That’s why I’m temporarily living with Sin and Bleu.”
“What happened?”
I point to the bruise still lingering on my face. “I was assaulted by the brother who was employing me.” I hate referring to him as a brother. He’s nothing more than a fucking misogynist bastard.
“Did he rape you?”
“He tried. Lucky for me that I had been taught how to defend myself.”
“He’s been dealt with?”
“Yes. Harshly from what I’ve heard. He received no leniency.” Sangster is a crazy motherfucker, but he and my dad were friends. I’m certain that he must have taken a special kind of pleasure in delivering Wallace’s punishment.
“He doesn’t deserve leniency. Sexual assault is bad enough, but it’s twofold when a virgin is the one being violated.”
Wow. Just wow. He thinks I’m a virgin. And why shouldn’t he? That’s what proper Fellowship women do—save their bodies for their husbands.
Boy, I blew that archaic belief right out of the water. I went against everything that I had ever been taught by being with Leith, Sin, and Jamie at the same time. And I didn’t give a fuck in the beginning. But today? I wish so badly that I had saved myself for Leith.
I wonder what Maddock would say if he knew the truth about my past. Would he withdraw his proposition? I think he would.
“I’m jobless now.”
“As you should be. You’re a beautiful woman. You deserve to be taken care of and adorned with the finest that this world has to offer. Not mothering another woman’s children and certainly not breaking your back to serve ale to some drunkards.”
I don’t like not working. I don’t know what to do with myself. “I’d make a terrible pampered princess.”
“I’m sure you would be a fine pampered princess.”
“That’s because you don’t know me.”
“I don’t but I plan to.”
And I plan on him not liking what he learns about me.
I manage to dodge any further relationship talk at dinner and during the ride to the Hendry property, but I’m certain that my luck has run out when we reach the estate.
“You’ve been here to visit Westlyn?”
“A few times.”
“Good. Then there’s no need for a tour.”
Redemption: A Sin Series Standalone Novel (The Sin Trilogy Book 6) Page 9