“No one understands the darkness that you’re feeling right now more than I do. But you need to hand over that darkness so it doesn’t destroy you inside.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you’re one pissed-off woman, and that’s understandable, but you’re not a killer.”
“I bet you didn’t peg Greer as a killer.”
“I pegged her as desperate but never a killer, so you have me there.”
“I don’t know how to stop feeling this way. I’m just so fucking angry and I want to take it out on her.”
“You need to tell Leith how you’re feeling so you can talk about it.”
“I don’t know if he’ll understand.”
“We are married to Fellowship men. Well, you’re almost married to a Fellowship man. They kill for our safety. They kill so we don’t have to. It’s what they do for us. Leith has already done it for you twice. He will understand what needs to be done, and he will want to carry your burden for you. It’s what a husband does for his wife.”
My nurse comes into my hospital room carrying an armful of supplies. “Time to remove this dressing. Are you ready to see how things look?”
“I don’t know.”
“Leith should be with you. Want me to have him come back?”
“Please.”
“I’m going to leave and send her fiancé back.”
“Aye, it’ll take a minute for me to set up my stuff. He won’t miss anything.”
I’m torn by the things that Bleu said to me. I still want to kill Greer but my friend could be right. Maybe I’m not cut out for killing. Going through with it could change me forever.
I smile when Leith comes into my hospital room. “I’m sorry I sent you away.”
“It’s okay, baby. I’m just glad that you changed your mind.”
I’m so damn nervous about the way my body is going to look. What if my chest looks horrible? What if Leith doesn’t think I’m sexy anymore? What if I’m not able to breastfeed when the time comes? That would break my heart.
My nurse lifts the corner of the dressing. “I’m sorry but the tape is going to tug on your skin as I pull it away.”
“A little tape pulling is the least of my worries after the things I’ve been through.”
“Are the police any closer to finding who did this?”
“They don’t have any leads,” Leith tells her.
“That’s such a shame. What kind of person shoots a beautiful lass like her on the night before her wedding and leaves her for dead? I don’t know what this world is coming to.”
Sin was responsible for weaving a tale that would lead the police away from The Fellowship. My job was much easier—feigned memory loss.
“All right. Here we go.”
My head is flat against my pillow, and I’m looking up at the ceiling when the nurse pulls the gauze away from my skin. “There’s bruising. That’s to be expected but no inflammation around the incision. That’s good. Swelling is minimal.”
Medical lingo. That doesn’t tell me what I want to know.
I look at Leith. “Are they a lot different from the way they used to look?”
He leaves my side and moves to stand at the foot of the bed. “Of course, the incision and the discoloration are new, but they look about the same to me.”
“Are you lying to make me feel better?”
“No. I swear.”
My nurse takes a hand mirror from the table. “Have a look for yourself.”
I hold the mirror, touching my left breast, and it feels odd. The sensation is lessened. “It doesn’t feel the same.”
“Nerve endings must reconnect after surgery. Sometimes they reconnect perfectly. Other times, not so much. You’ve had a severe injury. You may not regain full sensation in your left breast.”
“Will I be able to nurse my babies?”
“I don’t think we’ll know the answer to that question until you give birth, but your right breast is unaffected. You would at least be able to nurse from that one.”
That’s a relief.
“I expected it to look much worse considering. Your surgeon is a very talented man.”
“I can see that much.”
Things could have gone in the other direction. I could have lost a breast. Hell, I could have lost my life. And all because of her.
My nurse doesn’t leave a minute too soon. I’m dying to talk to Leith about Greer. “We need to talk about something, Leith.”
“That sounds serious.”
“I sort of lied to you.”
“We don’t lie to each other.”
“Well, I did. But only because I wanted to talk to Bleu in private.”
“About what?”
“Greer. And how I want to kill her. Literally, not figuratively.”
“I would never allow you to get blood on your hands.”
“That’s what Bleu said.”
“And she’s right.”
“She told me that the act of killing is a burden that a husband takes from his wife and carries for her.”
“It is.”
“Are you burdened by killing the two Order men for me?”
“Not even a little. They brought that upon themselves.”
“Would you be burdened by killing Greer?”
“I’ve never killed a woman. Fellowship men are taught to protect the women of our brotherhood, so the thought of harming one doesn’t feel right. But then I think of what Greer did to you and I want her to die a thousand excruciating deaths.”
“A thousand excruciating deaths. That works for me.”
“We’re obligated to honor whatever Sin and Thane decide to do with her.”
“Do you think they’ll let her live because she’s a woman?”
“I don’t know.”
“If she’s allowed to live and continue as a member of this brotherhood, I can’t be Fellowship anymore.”
“If you can’t be Fellowship then I can’t be Fellowship.”
“You’d walk away from your own people and everything you’ve ever known for me?”
“You’re my people. I would leave everything behind for you.”
“God, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
* * *
“Miss Frazier.”
I open my eyes and a woman wearing all white is leaning over me. My eyes are dry and I blink a few times to clear my vision. “Yes?”
“My name is Kirstee and I’m here to take you to radiology for a scan,” she whispers.
I wiggle up the mattress and hit the button that lifts the head of the bed. “What kind of scan?”
“Chest X-ray.”
“In the middle of the night?”
“Aye, the doctor ordered it on his evening rounds, but radiology was backed up.”
“They’ve been bringing the portable machine in to do my X-rays. Is this one different?”
“Yes.”
“It can’t wait until morning?”
“Your doctor will expect the results to be on your chart when he makes morning rounds.”
I don’t want to hold up any test results that might help me get discharged. I’ve had enough of this place. I’m so ready to go home. “All right.”
She goes to a wheelchair and rolls it to the side of my bed. The safety rail lowers, and I inch toward the side to stand. Damn, I’m sore.
“Leith, wake up.”
“No need to wake him. He can’t go with you for the X-ray.”
“I know, but he needs to know that I’m leaving the room for a test.”
“The nurses will tell him if he wakes up.”
“I don’t want him to be afraid if he wakes up and sees the empty bed.”
“Let him sleep. I’m sure he’s tired.”
Fuck her. I’m not leaving without telling him where I’m going.
“Leith.” My voice is no longer soft.
He stirs and opens his eyes. “What’s going on?”
�
�I have to go for a test.”
“What time is it?”
“Two.”
“What kind of fucking test do they do at two in the morning?”
“Chest X-ray, sir.”
“She had one of those earlier today… yesterday. They did it here in the room.”
“The doctor ordered another one. He wants this one done with the big X-ray machine.”
“All right. Let me put my shoes on.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t go with her.”
“She doesn’t leave this room without me.”
“I’m sorry. Family members aren’t allowed in the radiology department. It’s hospital policy.”
Leith looks at me. “You can refuse the test.”
“I don’t want to do anything that’s going to prolong my staying here. I want to go home, Leith, and if these results will get me out sooner, then I want to do it.”
“How long will she be gone?”
“Less than thirty minutes.”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Leith lies back down. “All right. If I’m asleep when you return, wake me up so I’ll know you’re back.”
“I will.”
The woman says nothing as she rolls me down the hallway. I’m not mad about that. After being woken up every couple of hours for the last two days, I’m exhausted. No part of me feels like talking right now.
She pushes me into an unoccupied patient room and says nothing before walking out.
“Umm… hey! Where are you going?”
No answer.
“Are you leaving me in here?”
No answer.
What the hell?
“Helllllo? Anybody?”
“Anybody? Really? Even me?”
Greer.
Fuck no. This is not happening.
I’m looking at the woman who tried to kill me. I should probably be afraid, but the only thing that I feel when I look at Greer is rage.
She’s here to take me out. And I’m injured. My physical strength is half of what it would normally be, at best. But I have the advantage of her believing that I don’t remember anything about the night that she shot me. As far as she knows, I have no reason to fear her, but her presence in this room at this time of the night is a huge red flag. And we both know it.
Think, think, think. What are you going to do? Your survival depends upon it, Lorna.
Play stupid.
“I guess I’m being released from the critical care ward and this is my new room. But it’s odd that they would transfer me in the middle of the night without telling me what’s going on.”
I reach down and lock the wheels of the wheelchair, scooting to the edge of the seat. “I’m still having a lot of pain. I can hardly move. Will you help me to the bed?”
If I don’t make the first move, she’s going to have the upper hand. And whoever has the lower hand is going to die. That isn’t going to be me.
This is a fight to the death. And the predator is unaware that she’s about to become the prey.
She comes to me and grips my upper arm, helping me to rise from the chair. “Yes, let’s get you to the bed.”
My gut tells me this is my one and only chance to strike. And so I act upon instinct when it tells me to grab my IV tubing and wrap it around her throat.
She reaches for the thin plastic tubing around her neck when I pull it tight but there’s no room for her fingers to slip between it and her throat. I have the upper hand and I’m not giving it up, despite the excruciating burn that I feel growing in my chest.
I fall to the bed on my back and she lands on top of me, her back to my front, and I’m certain that my wound was probably just reopened.
I wrap my legs around her midsection and hold her in place. Her arms are slapping at me over her shoulders but her hands aren’t able to reach me.
I’m fucked if she gets away.
She bucks and the back of her head hits me in the center of my face. I see stars, honest-to-God stars, but I know that if I let go, she’s going to kill me.
It’s kill or be killed. Of that I have no doubt, so I continue pulling on the plastic tube until all of my strength is gone.
She stops fighting and not a minute too soon. My body is shaking and I can’t move. I simply lie there, panting, with her body on top of me.
I won.
She’s dead.
But what the fuck do I do now?
I push Greer’s body off of me and sit up, examining my chest. I don’t know how but my incision is still intact. I was certain that it must have ripped apart during the struggle.
I look at Greer’s body. “Bitch is wearing my ring.”
I pick up her hand and slide it off of her finger, returning it to my hand where it belongs. “There. Back where it should be.”
I remember my room number, so I pick up the phone on the bedside table and follow the directions for dialing into the room.
“Hello.”
I’ve never been so happy to hear Leith’s voice.
“I need you.”
“Lorna?”
“There’s a problem. Come to room… fuck, I don’t even know what room I’m in. Hold on.”
“What is going on?”
“Hold on.”
I creep across the floor and crack open the door, peeking at the room number.
“Don’t ask me any questions right now. Just come to room 5248.”
I’m sitting in the chair in the corner when Leith comes into the hospital room. His eyes widen when he sees Greer’s body on the floor. “Oh fuck.”
He rushes across the room and wraps his arms around me. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m okay.”
He embraces me for a while before taking his phone out. “We’re going to need help with this.”
“What do we do?”
“That’s up to Sin and Thane.”
Leith gets up and paces the floor while he waits for Sin to answer the phone. “We have a problem. The short version is that Greer got to Lorna in the hospital. Lorna defended herself and Greer is dead. Her body is in an empty patient room. How are we going to handle this?”
Leith nods as he listens to Sin. “I understand. Thank you.”
Leith ends the call with Sin and looks at me. “No authorities. You and I are going back to your room in critical care, and you’re going to get back into your bed as though none of this happened. A cleanup crew is going to come immediately and take care of this.”
Leith and Sin are going to protect me. The authorities will never know that I did this. Her body and the evidence of what happened are going to disappear.
Leith rolls me back to critical care and convinces the nurses that someone from radiology mistakenly took me for a test that wasn’t ordered. It appears to be a hospital error, and the nurses are more than happy to stop questioning us about what happened.
I roll on to my side when I’m back in bed and face Leith on the cot where he’s lying next to me. “It was kill or be killed. I had no choice.”
“I know.”
“Will I be questioned or tried?”
“Thane and Sin will want to hold a debriefing.”
“Should I be nervous about that?”
“No, it’s only to clear up any questions that they might have.”
Leith holds out his hand and I stretch my arm, our fingertips meeting and lacing together.
“Into me you see,” he whispers.
“Into me you see.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Chapter 17
Leith Duncan
This is happening. After years in the making, it’s finally happening. And I can hardly believe it.
My face and hands are tingling. And I feel a wee bit short of breath.
I’m standing in the center of what Lorna calls our wedding canopy, waiting for my beloved to come to me. The bridal chorus begins, and Thane and Lorna enter the bar from the hall
way. She smiles and her eyes stay focused on mine as she approaches.
They walk toward me in the aisle made by the rows of chairs on each side, and I can’t take my eyes off of my bride. I had no idea what her dress and veil would look like or how she would wear her hair, but everything about her is perfection.
She’s wearing a long white dress just as I requested. I see that it’s actually white and silver as she comes closer, and the silver crown sitting on top of her head goes with it perfectly.
It’s fitting because Lorna Frazier Duncan is my queen.
And she is absolutely beautiful.
Thane shakes my hand and kisses Lorna’s cheek before placing her hand in mine.
She turns and passes her bouquet of white roses to Westlyn, whom we hope makes it through the ceremony without giving birth. She then places both hands in mine, and I slowly rub my thumbs back and forth over the tops of her hands.
Our ceremony is short, and I anxiously wait to hear the minister tell me to kiss my bride. When he finally does, I lean close and cradle her face.
“I love you, mo muirnín.” My darling.
“I love you.”
I press a soft, loving kiss against her lips and our wedding attendees clap loudly.
“I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Leith Duncan.”
The minister steps away and Thane comes forward, joining us under the wedding canopy in front of all of the guests. We’ve chosen to consolidate our wedding and brotherhood vows in a single ceremony.
“Tonight, we celebrate the marriage and union between these two Fellowship members. Leith Kendrew Duncan, do you accept responsibility for Lorna Ardiss Frazier Duncan?”
“I do.”
“Take the dagger.”
I lift it as my leader instructs and take Lorna’s hand in mine. I drag the blade across the center of her palm, bringing a small amount of blood to the surface. I pierce my own and lace our fingers together so we’re palm-to-palm. I squeeze her hand, my eyes locked on hers as we say our Fellowship vows to one another.
I bring my wife’s hand to my mouth. “Your blood is my blood, as mine is yours. We are united as one from now until the end of eternity.”
A single tear rolls down Lorna’s cheek, and we simultaneously lean forward, pressing our foreheads together.
“I didn’t think this would ever happen,” she whispers.
“It’s happening. And this is our time to be happy.”
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